WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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How's it going bros?

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My name is PewDiePie

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Today, I have some special exciting news

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you've read the title,

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I've finally,

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FINALLY (laughs),

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received the ten million diamond play button.

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If you don't know,

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YouTube is handing out, for people with over 10-million-subbed channels,

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This diamond play button.

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We are at 44 million!

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So...it's a little late to the party YouTube!

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But I thought we'd unbox this together.

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*laugh*

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I'm so excited!

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*music stops*

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Is this some kinda joke?

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"Congratulations for surpassing a hundred thousand."

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"Congrats for a hundred thousand subscribers."

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Are you fucking kiddin' me?!

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*bad ass music* DO YOU THINK THIS IS SOME KINDA GAME?!?

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WHAT IS THIS SHIT?

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A HUNDRED K?!

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I get that fucking shit FOUR TIMES in a month!!

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They announced this shit years ago.

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FOUR YEARS AGO!

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What the fuck?!

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Why don't you give me 440 of these?

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Yeah, give one to Jimmy Fallon!

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Give one to DiamondMinecraft!

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Ya, give one to Kwebbelkop!

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EVEN iDUBBBZ!?

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What is this?

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The fuck is this?!

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Who the hell is that guy!?!

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ER....yeah, give one to ERB!

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And give one to Smosh!

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Fucking bullshit!

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*Sad music starts* I ain't doin' this shit anymore, YouTube.

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I'm fuckin' tired!

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Here I was, thinkin' for once, my effort had been recognized.

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I was so happy!

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*Sad music stops* What's that?

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Another package?!

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*Dramatic music starts*

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Could this be...?

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The fuck is this!?

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What does it say?

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*bad ass music* IT'S THE 1 MILLION ONE!!

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AND IT'S FUCKING BROKEN!!

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"Congrats for surpassing 1 million."

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Oh, that's cool!

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THAT HAPPENED YEARS AGOOO!

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GIVE ME 44 OF THESE!!!

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That's it, YouTube!

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I had enough of your bullshit.

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I'm calling you out right now:

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Where's my diamond play button?

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And I'm not gonna do a fucking hashtag,

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and make all my fans tweet at you

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Send it to YouTube.

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It's about goddamn time.

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Are you listening, Youtube?

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These are my demands:

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1) I want FOUR

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diamond play buttons!

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2) I want them delivered by a horse.

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3) I want them smothered in glitter.

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Not too much,

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make it classy.

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4) I want the man delivering the packages

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to be a bearded, beautiful man.

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5) And I want a written apolog-

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I want you to-

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I want a BEGGED apology!

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Alright!

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But for real though,

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ehm,

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(classic PDP laughter)

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I can't believe it's broken!

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What the fuck!

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Jesus!

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Good job FedEx!

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You fuckin' idiots,

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you fucked up!

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Like, what I'm gonna-

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This is clearly trash!

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Like, what am I gonna do with it?

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I'm legit pissed!

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UHAUWHUAHUWAH

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I waited so long!

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And I..you know what?

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I thought-

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okay, once they announced the diamond play button,

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two years ago,

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I was like,

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"Oh that's cool,

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maybe now I'll finally get it."

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*Sad music plays*

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Alright!

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Alright bros!

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Go forth!

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Send out the hashtag!

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I want that shit trending

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on Twitter,

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Facebook,

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Tumblr,

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Harass them anywhere.

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Instagram!

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I don't give a fuck!

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This ends now!

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If I don't have my YouTube play button,

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within a month,

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then I'll...I..I'll

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I'll do something, alright?

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I'll do something...

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REAL BAD YOUTUBE!

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You're gonna make, uh

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youWICJWIECJIWJCWIOCW

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THIS MEANS WAR, YOUTUBE!

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THIS

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MEANS

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WAR!

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Dont make me disappointed

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Not again

