The Game Awards—what generally has been referred to as:
The Cringe Awards.
H A H A
I don't really get why.
Not everything is cringe, okay?
As to the front of the stage rework hydrobot. Can I?
Ow.
This year!
2017 Game Awards—a disappointing amount of cringe.
(I'm x20)
I'm letdown. What happened? What went wrong?
This year, just felt more like the Ad Awards 2017
(exasperated laugh)
Cause my god. There was more ads,
than a PewDiePie ten minute video
That's a lot of ads boy
Alright the sales going on tonight are gonna give you special discounts on the best games.
But this year we're going next level by partnering with eBay: 50% off a HyperX headset
But now it's time for the final offer: a brand new 34 inch LG widescreen monitor for almost half off.
(burst of laughter)
But let's review this year!
As people online are always like
You didn't present every award, and it's like I don't think we ever really want to present like every individual genre award
But we want to create different kinds of awards— elevate the genre by coming up with new awards such great new award titles as
Elevate the genre by coming up with new awards.
Such great new award titles as,
Most Anticipated Game Presented by McCafe. Truly an award to be proud of—what did you win?
Most anticipated game by McCafe. We'll be right back after this
We'll be right back after this
McDonald's congratulates all the nominees—
Jesus Christ, can you imagine the Oscars?
Having Most Anticipated Movie Award
(chuckles)
What a great idea
(pls no demonitization) THE OSCARS! (shh) YOU!
Hey hey, I'm sorry. I was just kidding! It was a joke, it was a joke and this shows that the gaming industry
built so much on just hype in my opinion. How many times have you been let down
by the release of a game, come on.
We're on every platform out there tonight. We're on Facebook, we're on YouTube and 4k,
PlayStation, Steam,
GameSpot, IGN, Xbox, and we're also streaming on—Mountain Dew
Hey look it's another zombie game everybody.
Oh wow, that's—that's really fun...
original and exciting. I really enjoy myself a good old zombie game
"What zombie game are they gonna make next?" I always ask myself when I wake up.
If the game doesn't have zombies, then why bother?
the game is...
—zombies—if it's not—zombies—why bother
And right now, it's my honor to announce the first Award winner of the night for Trending Gamer
Moonlight: Best Picture
Trending gamer is Dr. Disrespect
Congratulations. Oh that's awesome. How are you the doctor?
How are you doing? Good to see you Doctor—Good to see you—
Was he just hiding behind the camera?
My God. He must have a futuristic vision through the glasses. It's almost like he knew he was gonna win the award
(more laughter)
That's incredible.
This is your trophy so uh, congratulations,
Is it gonna cut me?
I mean—it's very heavy. It's bigger than the oscars
(curse) THE OSCARS! (cURSE) YOU!
Heyyyyy, I was gonna eat that. Okay, whatever floats your bot
Hey human—THINK FAST—
Who needs hands if you can't catch?
Uh, okay, okay that game was cool. I—I definitely want to play it, good job
Wow, the announcements so far has been pretty lackluster and uninteresting. I'm actually quite disappointed. oh
OH MY GOD—
BLOOD-BORNE 2!
BLOOD BORNE TWOOOO!
That's all you get: A little tease of the next project from software
Thank you very much guys for that little tease of what they're working on next
(eargasming asmr)
Edward Trybeck, the composer of Star Wars The Old Republic
He's put together an amazing tribute to the music of games so you guys ready to do this?
YES
The music is always the best part of game awards—ALWAYS
(guy singing and playing guitar)
The streamers and the communities on Twitch tonight are able to predict what they think is gonna win each category.
So if you're on Twitch there's a twitch extension you can predict as you're watching this show live to see who you thinks gonna win
The best action game category right now fans on Twitch are predicting that Cuphead is going—
Come on, I need some video game announcements.
Give me a game that I can truly play for my channel, something that I actually care about.
But right now, let's move on to world premieres.
Tonight, I am honored that some of the top game developers in the world have chosen the Game Awards as the place to reveal the first
news on their next projects.
Oh wow
That was pretty good
(sudden realization)
NOOOOOOO
And the Game Award goes t—oh man I have to pay a micro-transaction to unlock? That's so
...stupid that this has to; hold on I got this guys, here we go.
That's not true you didn't actually have to pay a micro-transaction get outta here man
EA sucks, amiright? right pound it, pound the— pound the screen if you hate EA
Sure, I'm getting a bag. I fucked this mess. It delivered, right? right?
Where is it?
Sir—SIT DOWN!
Wow the—the graphics in this game look...
...amazing. It stands out from anything else we've seen.
It's almost like they're showing a movie trailer
at the Game Awards. I wonder if they do that at the Oscars they show a,
A game trailer at the Oscars
(frickle) THE OSCARS! (frAckle) YOU!
Fantastic, you keep coming. Me amigo Detoro. Gracias.
(SAD SAD SAD MUSIC)
Stop. Can you just stop, okay? Just stop I'm trying to help you guys
Do you not understand? How many times do I gotta tell you NEVER never brofist onstage?
Never handshake onstage, if you're live, don't do ANYTHING
No human interactions with other people on live television
Okay?
You don't wanna end up like Adam Sandler touching a knee. I got nominated for a Golden Globe too, so I took my parents
Just do us all a favor, okay, from the people that have already suffered
I don't want you all to suffer anymore: no brofist, no handshakes, and no knee touching
The wait is over. Let's begin
Wow Soulcalibur looks really good. Yep, it looks like it's gonna be a good game, definitely
somewhat of a decent game
Ooo, so sorry
(laughter) sorry
(laughter)
Was that a...
Was that a baby inside Norman Reedus? 10 out of 10 best game—this one wins
Honestly that trailer was really cool. I almost want Kojima just to make movies at this point.
It's clear that that's where he's passionate. I'm so passionate to be here. I'm so excited to be and meeting this industry
yes
It's crazy, man, like, look
this is, this is kinda insane.
We're here with services, look the Oscars should fuck themselves up, this is the shit I'm telling you
This is this is the real shit. Okay? Can you swear here?
Okay, fuck the Oscars. You know
(frick) THE OSCARS! (flip) YOU! I'm telling you! Like, this is bullshit!
Here's the thing, the gaming industry it's an interactive
Lot of films and now you're in games. Yeah, that's right. You know
I've done six features about yeah, but okay. We're here to talk about our way out. Let's do it guys
Yeah, let's get into your game
I'm—I'm a little big jet-lagged, that's why I'm um—
Jet lag also known as cocaine. Okay here we go finally—
Now to announce winner of a Game of the Year game of the year Persona 51 global media
outlets and the fans and this year, the Game of the awar—Game of the Year goes to
Moonlight: Best Picture