WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.200 [Dramatic Music plays] 00:00:02.780 --> 00:00:04.460 Hey, Jacksepticeye... 00:00:05.620 --> 00:00:06.920 I bet you think we're bros. 00:00:07.940 --> 00:00:09.460 Just cause we hang out. 00:00:09.460 --> 00:00:12.760 I bet you think we're straight up - homedogs. 00:00:13.000 --> 00:00:14.460 Just cause we hugged once. 00:00:15.060 --> 00:00:15.800 Well guess what? 00:00:15.960 --> 00:00:17.080 I HATE MY DOG. 00:00:17.080 --> 00:00:18.380 AND I HATE YOU TOO. 00:00:18.880 --> 00:00:20.880 This is the JackSepticEye roast. 00:00:21.080 --> 00:00:22.420 Prepare to get flamed. 00:00:23.700 --> 00:00:24.200 Bitch. 00:00:25.060 --> 00:00:28.680 [Dramatic Music plays] 00:00:29.200 --> 00:00:30.320 JackSepticEye... 00:00:31.080 --> 00:00:31.580 More like 00:00:31.660 --> 00:00:33.360 JackSeptic... Bye. 00:00:33.620 --> 00:00:35.540 [Music plays] 00:00:36.000 --> 00:00:36.640 Hey Jack! 00:00:37.300 --> 00:00:37.940 [Laughs] 00:00:38.220 --> 00:00:39.320 When I first saw you 00:00:39.720 --> 00:00:40.740 I gagged. 00:00:41.720 --> 00:00:42.220 Jack! 00:00:42.860 --> 00:00:44.380 Your facial hair makes you look like... 00:00:44.380 --> 00:00:46.460 ..a pre-pubescent member of ISIS. 00:00:48.240 --> 00:00:50.180 And don't even think making fun of my hair 00:00:50.240 --> 00:00:52.800 Because you wish you had this hair. 00:00:53.740 --> 00:00:54.780 [Spitting noise] Bitch. 00:00:55.060 --> 00:00:56.400 ...That was so unnecessary. 00:00:56.620 --> 00:00:57.420 Your abs 00:00:57.560 --> 00:00:58.920 Looks like a vagina... 00:00:58.940 --> 00:01:00.220 So I have to blur it. 00:01:00.220 --> 00:01:01.240 Blur that shit! 00:01:01.420 --> 00:01:02.380 Point proven. 00:01:02.420 --> 00:01:03.060 Hey Jack! 00:01:03.740 --> 00:01:06.540 This is what your fans think you look like. 00:01:06.540 --> 00:01:08.540 But this is what you really look like. 00:01:11.260 --> 00:01:12.220 Which is convenient, 00:01:12.220 --> 00:01:16.180 Because your videos are about as cringey as a Dove commercial. 00:01:16.180 --> 00:01:17.380 (Music plays) 00:01:17.380 --> 00:01:18.200 [Music stops] Hey - hey Jack. 00:01:19.220 --> 00:01:19.860 I found- 00:01:19.860 --> 00:01:20.780 I found your twin. 00:01:20.780 --> 00:01:21.740 [Music resumes playing] 00:01:21.740 --> 00:01:23.400 Get it? Cause you're Irish. 00:01:24.960 --> 00:01:25.600 See this? 00:01:30.520 --> 00:01:32.520 Jacksepticeye is clearly a Nazi. 00:01:35.180 --> 00:01:37.580 Don't hate me, I only spit the truth. 00:01:37.720 --> 00:01:38.220 Jack! 00:01:38.880 --> 00:01:41.280 You make me wanna lose my clothes. 00:01:42.680 --> 00:01:44.200 And not because you're hot. 00:01:44.200 --> 00:01:46.060 Because you're ripping me off! 00:01:46.360 --> 00:01:48.360 [Music plays] 00:01:48.860 --> 00:01:51.860 How come I can't find any diapers in your merch store? 00:01:52.060 --> 00:01:54.440 How 'bout you start selling some PewDiePie dildos here. 00:01:54.460 --> 00:01:57.480 So your fans can act like you and SUCK MY DICK. 00:01:57.480 --> 00:01:57.980 [Music plays] 00:01:58.560 --> 00:02:01.840 You only made it big because I gave you a shoutout! 00:02:01.960 --> 00:02:03.880 You're my Make A Wish, bitch! 00:02:04.340 --> 00:02:06.340 This is you as a fucking Minecraft! 00:02:06.620 --> 00:02:07.600 ALL YOU DO. 00:02:07.820 --> 00:02:10.700 IS FUCKING SCREAM IN YOUR FUCKING VIDEOS! 00:02:10.700 --> 00:02:12.880 DO YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY AND CREATIVE?! 00:02:12.880 --> 00:02:15.000 People say I'm the Trump of Youtube?! 00:02:15.000 --> 00:02:17.280 Yeah well-then you're the Hillary Clinton! 00:02:19.780 --> 00:02:22.020 THE ONLY REASON PEOPLE WATCH YOUR VIDEOS 00:02:22.220 --> 00:02:24.380 is because you're a TRAINWRECK- 00:02:24.380 --> 00:02:26.160 AND PEOPLE CAN'T LOOK AWAY. 00:02:26.160 --> 00:02:29.460 YOU'RE LITERALLY WORSE THAN RAY WILLIAM JOHNSON. 00:02:32.540 --> 00:02:33.760 I- I'm sorry that was... 00:02:35.340 --> 00:02:36.460 That was too far. 00:02:36.460 --> 00:02:37.580 JackSepticEye... 00:02:38.260 --> 00:02:39.160 More like... 00:02:39.840 --> 00:02:41.400 Jackseptic... Tank. 00:02:45.600 --> 00:02:47.200 [Moaning] 00:02:47.540 --> 00:02:49.160 I'm roasting your whole family Jack. 00:02:49.900 --> 00:02:51.980 You're all a bunch of potatoes. 00:02:52.280 --> 00:02:53.740 That's right bitch, you got roasted. 00:02:53.740 --> 00:02:54.720 Now what are you gonna do about it? 00:02:55.540 --> 00:02:56.040 Bitch. 00:02:56.040 --> 00:02:59.000 Some people like to think that Jack got big because of me. 00:02:59.000 --> 00:03:00.140 Because I gave him a shoutout. 00:03:00.600 --> 00:03:03.080 But I gave a shit ton of- I gave like... 00:03:03.740 --> 00:03:05.560 At least thirty people a shout out. 00:03:05.560 --> 00:03:08.200 And none of them went nearly as far 00:03:08.200 --> 00:03:10.320 And were nearly as successful as Jack 00:03:10.320 --> 00:03:12.780 That's because Jack is a talented 00:03:13.200 --> 00:03:13.700 Funny, 00:03:13.920 --> 00:03:14.880 Charismatic, 00:03:15.120 --> 00:03:16.560 Beautiful Irish man. 00:03:18.380 --> 00:03:19.100 I love you. [kiss noise] 00:03:19.640 --> 00:03:21.480 I'm happy you're my friend. 00:03:21.480 --> 00:03:23.100 Please don't unsubscribe. 00:03:23.100 --> 00:03:24.520 I hope you guys enjoyed this roast! 00:03:24.520 --> 00:03:25.820 Let me know if you want more! 00:03:26.500 --> 00:03:27.620 Leave a like if you enjoyed! 00:03:27.620 --> 00:03:29.660 And I'll see you bros in the next video. 00:03:29.920 --> 00:03:30.800 As always... 00:03:31.140 --> 00:03:32.100 Stay awesome bros! 00:03:32.580 --> 00:03:34.100 M'kay we will go with- 00:03:34.100 --> 00:03:36.100 Evenecesseneseh 00:03:36.100 --> 00:03:38.100 5 points. 00:03:38.100 --> 00:03:40.100 Cause he needs to wake up and kill himself. 00:03:40.100 --> 00:03:42.100 Why you so mean?