WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: zh-TW

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.200
Hi

00:00:01.260 --> 00:00:04.380
你對Pewdiepie頻道有興趣嗎?

00:00:04.840 --> 00:00:06.840
Youtube首家最大頻道上線啦

00:00:06.840 --> 00:00:09.840
比Jackspedicey更讚

00:00:09.840 --> 00:00:11.480
你去隨便抓一個路人來問

00:00:11.780 --> 00:00:15.520
我在這，就在這，你好嗎

00:00:15.520 --> 00:00:16.840
懂?

00:00:17.040 --> 00:00:18.880
今天訂閱~免費~

00:00:19.580 --> 00:00:21.440
你也可以成為BRO!!!

00:00:21.520 --> 00:00:23.420
用這個價錢

00:00:23.420 --> 00:00:25.100
我怎麼把自己搞得像Marina Joyce

00:00:25.100 --> 00:00:27.080
我們今天來一起看一些廣告

00:00:28.480 --> 00:00:28.980
我知

00:00:29.440 --> 00:00:30.120
超讚

00:00:30.520 --> 00:00:34.160
我找了一些網路上超鳥超怪洨的廣告

00:00:34.460 --> 00:00:36.020
我們來看看

00:00:36.680 --> 00:00:39.960
到底能多慘?慘到怎麼境界，我們一定都看過

00:00:40.440 --> 00:00:44.320
某些你以為是廣告

00:00:44.520 --> 00:00:48.560
你在家沒事幹打開電視隨便轉轉

00:00:48.780 --> 00:00:52.600
然後你不知道自己看了三小內容他還想賣你一些爛貨

00:00:52.880 --> 00:00:58.420
然後你覺得我到底看了三小，自己也覺得有點好笑

00:00:59.550 --> 00:01:01.050
接著開始想

00:01:01.050 --> 00:01:03.899
我要不要買來試一下還開始用

00:01:03.899 --> 00:01:06.840
一次之後就永久成為歷史

00:01:06.840 --> 00:01:08.850
今天我們一起來看看這種廣告

00:01:08.850 --> 00:01:12.960
一起來看~

00:01:12.960 --> 00:01:16.049
和你一樣，許多女性苦於

00:01:16.049 --> 00:01:18.509
(謝謝你沒想到

00:01:18.509 --> 00:01:21.390
還有男性這回事。) 徹夜難眠

00:01:21.390 --> 00:01:23.820
睡在沒有適當的

00:01:23.820 --> 00:01:26.430
胸部支撐就是難睡的罪魁禍首

00:01:26.430 --> 00:01:29.310
沒錯，這對我來說是很大的

00:01:29.310 --> 00:01:31.079
問題，身為一個男性在我側睡的時候

00:01:31.079 --> 00:01:35.610
奶奶很擠，感謝你

00:01:35.610 --> 00:01:42.840
為您介紹KUSH!!! (為你介紹新款大麻葉?No??)

00:01:42.840 --> 00:01:45.149
舒適的夜晚良伴

00:01:45.149 --> 00:01:48.060
自動提供溫柔的支撐

00:01:48.060 --> 00:01:50.159
和緩衝

00:01:50.159 --> 00:01:51.780
(她剛好放了個小袋袋在那?)

00:01:51.780 --> 00:01:54.689
女性的胸部，KUSH可以保持更

00:01:54.689 --> 00:01:57.439
自然 (喔喔喔喔喔喔!!!!)

00:01:57.790 --> 00:02:02.920
(喔!) 且無須穿戴

00:02:02.920 --> 00:02:06.070
怎麼會沒人看出這哪裡不對?

00:02:06.070 --> 00:02:09.610
塞一個棒狀物在

00:02:09.610 --> 00:02:11.560
雙峰之間，怎麼會沒人

00:02:11.560 --> 00:02:14.140
想過，可能，可能就像

00:02:14.140 --> 00:02:16.030
看起來怪怪的，就算你滾來滾去

00:02:16.030 --> 00:02:18.460
Kush也可以幫助你緩衝

00:02:18.460 --> 00:02:21.850
讓你更舒適，給側睡者更提供

00:02:21.850 --> 00:02:23.320
脊椎支撐

00:02:23.320 --> 00:02:26.260
產婦媽媽和

00:02:26.260 --> 00:02:28.330
術後復原  (我想問一個

00:02:28.330 --> 00:02:30.010
有點怪的小問題

00:02:30.010 --> 00:02:32.620
如果你有C罩杯或更大

00:02:32.620 --> 00:02:34.870
就只是個小問題，很小

00:02:34.870 --> 00:02:39.340
我很好奇一個D罩杯

00:02:39.340 --> 00:02:41.800
或像B罩杯，我不知道怎麼說

00:02:41.800 --> 00:02:44.980
靠杯，我看他們已經

00:02:44.980 --> 00:02:50.410
歇業惹啦，不! 不要是KUSH啦~~

00:02:50.410 --> 00:02:53.380
靠邀咧。(一百年來我們都

00:02:53.380 --> 00:02:56.290
拉拉摺摺衛生紙

00:02:56.290 --> 00:02:59.470
一百年來我們都用衛生紙

00:02:59.470 --> 00:03:02.739
撸咱們的菊花 (終於有

00:03:02.739 --> 00:03:05.470
更好的方式誕生，菊花擦拭

00:03:05.470 --> 00:03:07.930
小幫手，1880年以來

00:03:07.930 --> 00:03:09.880
衛生紙史上首次

00:03:09.880 --> 00:03:12.459
大躍進!! (1880年以來

00:03:12.459 --> 00:03:14.950
衛生紙史上首次大躍進!! 1880那年

00:03:14.950 --> 00:03:17.140
怎麼了? (可伸長到

00:03:17.140 --> 00:03:19.420
48公分 (ㄟ你看它能伸多~~

00:03:19.420 --> 00:03:22.330
~~長) 都不會碰到排泄物，用起來就跟

00:03:22.330 --> 00:03:25.150
刷澡刷刷一樣簡單 (喔，這太

00:03:25.150 --> 00:03:27.640
噁爛了，你才不會拿來

00:03:27.640 --> 00:03:29.560
洗澡。(把衛生紙貼在

00:03:29.560 --> 00:03:31.450
上面然後只要

00:03:31.450 --> 00:03:33.040
輕輕的按一下[放開]鈕，你用過的衛生紙

00:03:33.040 --> 00:03:35.230
就會自動掉進馬桶裡面 (我的老天鵝阿)

00:03:35.230 --> 00:03:37.060
想想看，衛生紙是多古早的發明

00:03:37.060 --> 00:03:39.370
又噁心 (我從沒想過

00:03:39.370 --> 00:03:41.019
Danny你想過嗎?

00:03:41.019 --> 00:03:43.420
Emma你想過衛生紙

00:03:43.420 --> 00:03:46.390
多古早多噁心? 說不定她

00:03:46.390 --> 00:03:48.670
有她的點，我理解

00:03:48.670 --> 00:03:50.560
要把手盡可能貼近肛門有多噁心

00:03:50.560 --> 00:03:52.750
但是你弄完還是會洗手

00:03:52.750 --> 00:03:55.420
你會洗?你會洗好?對吧?

00:03:55.420 --> 00:03:57.790
沒錯!從已不用再碰

00:03:57.790 --> 00:04:00.549
髒髒衛生紙。身為一個大隻佬

00:04:00.549 --> 00:04:03.070
有好有壞

00:04:03.070 --> 00:04:07.870
喔~靠~你在公三小?

00:04:07.870 --> 00:04:09.760
有好有壞

00:04:09.760 --> 00:04:12.849
白刷刷

00:04:12.849 --> 00:04:15.010
菊花擦拭小幫手

00:04:15.010 --> 00:04:17.620
首次大躍進 (誰想把那玩意往

00:04:17.620 --> 00:04:19.419
菊花送啊?請舉手

00:04:19.419 --> 00:04:23.470
我想我搞到了摳死蕩版的

00:04:23.470 --> 00:04:27.220
這玩意，你看這是

00:04:27.220 --> 00:04:30.190
擦後門好手，

00:04:30.190 --> 00:04:32.260
我們沒搞到菊花擦拭小幫手，但是

00:04:32.260 --> 00:04:34.600
不管怎樣我們還是試了

00:04:34.600 --> 00:04:35.590
來看這個怎樣，說不定很讚

00:04:35.590 --> 00:04:38.020
要保持樂觀

00:04:38.020 --> 00:04:41.590
這個符合人體工學

00:04:41.590 --> 00:04:43.810
而且跟我們瑞典好漢一樣猛

00:04:43.810 --> 00:04:46.720
痾，我好像折斷惹，沒關係

00:04:46.720 --> 00:04:53.260
我拿了一些衛生紙

00:04:53.260 --> 00:04:55.630
我來擦看看我的菊花

00:04:55.630 --> 00:04:58.990
就是要這樣試不是嗎?來擦

00:04:58.990 --> 00:05:03.160
屁屁，OK，不看不看

00:05:03.160 --> 00:05:08.169
Danny不要看，尼奏凱，他起肖惹

00:05:08.169 --> 00:05:15.400
好像有點難  (喝很多

00:05:15.400 --> 00:05:18.070
水，人有三急

00:05:18.070 --> 00:05:19.660
可是當下又沒有

00:05:19.660 --> 00:05:23.440
廁所 (我喝超多水

00:05:23.440 --> 00:05:27.039
然後超多回音靠杯

00:05:27.039 --> 00:05:30.669
別擔心，我們有超讚好物

00:05:30.669 --> 00:05:32.919
又來惹 (隆重介紹泌泌俱樂部

00:05:32.919 --> 00:05:35.470
人有三急時的分離式解決方案

00:05:35.470 --> 00:05:37.449
由有牌照的

00:05:37.449 --> 00:05:40.840
泌尿科醫師發明 (蝦小?牌?

00:05:40.840 --> 00:05:43.690
有牌的? (由有牌照的

00:05:43.690 --> 00:05:46.210
泌尿科醫師發明。(泌尿科醫師是

00:05:46.210 --> 00:05:47.650
一種專精男女性泌尿道

00:05:47.650 --> 00:05:50.110
問題及病症的

00:05:50.110 --> 00:05:52.750
外科醫生，好，如果

00:05:52.750 --> 00:05:54.699
那是你的專業我了解你需要

00:05:54.699 --> 00:05:57.099
有牌，我懂，真的

00:05:57.099 --> 00:05:58.930
我們將特製的儲尿槽

00:05:58.930 --> 00:06:01.030
與球桿握把結合，來幫助你解放

00:06:01.030 --> 00:06:02.979
還附上特製小毛巾來

00:06:02.979 --> 00:06:08.510
保護你的隱私

00:06:08.510 --> 00:06:11.990
真正的問題是你能不能揮桿

00:06:11.990 --> 00:06:14.120
你懂嗎? 在你尿過之後

00:06:14.120 --> 00:06:16.790
手感應該不同，到底能不能揮桿?

00:06:16.790 --> 00:06:19.490
你懂嗎? 我把小傢伙放進裡面

00:06:19.490 --> 00:06:21.350
然後我尿了一陣

00:06:21.350 --> 00:06:23.330
能不能解決這個問題

00:06:23.330 --> 00:06:25.820
防水，容易清潔而且

00:06:25.820 --> 00:06:27.620
不再有尷尬時刻   (不就

00:06:27.620 --> 00:06:28.870
尿在草叢? 直接尿在草叢

00:06:28.870 --> 00:06:30.980
你在高爾夫球場

00:06:30.980 --> 00:06:33.530
有超多草叢  (大幅增進

00:06:33.530 --> 00:06:34.970
你的高爾夫總分，49變95分

00:06:34.970 --> 00:06:37.430
這怎麼會跟高爾夫

00:06:37.430 --> 00:06:41.120
分數有關??  請解釋

00:06:41.120 --> 00:06:43.460
請明確解釋你他X的到底

00:06:43.460 --> 00:06:46.250
在公三小?  (泌泌俱樂部

00:06:46.250 --> 00:06:48.230
你球袋裡的秘密武器

00:06:48.230 --> 00:06:54.560
讓你不再躲草叢  (各位男性朋友

00:06:54.560 --> 00:06:56.360
應該沒有這種問題因為

00:06:56.360 --> 00:06:58.670
你就直接尿在草叢啦你就直接尿在

00:06:58.670 --> 00:07:00.470
草叢啦你就直接他X尿在

00:07:00.470 --> 00:07:02.420
草叢裡然後如果你在高級的高爾夫

00:07:02.420 --> 00:07:05.240
球場，那裏會有廁所

00:07:05.240 --> 00:07:07.220
會有廁所，就去廁所

00:07:07.220 --> 00:07:13.070
謝謝。 (我車停哪了?? OH, NO

00:07:13.070 --> 00:07:15.740
你應該找好一點的臨演

00:07:15.740 --> 00:07:21.020
我車停哪了?? 我超痛苦

00:07:21.020 --> 00:07:26.420
極度難受因為

00:07:26.420 --> 00:07:30.770
我忘記我車停哪 (現在

00:07:30.770 --> 00:07:33.020
有個超簡單方式讓你記住

00:07:33.020 --> 00:07:35.600
任何事，就是[迷你勿忘我]

00:07:35.600 --> 00:07:37.010
一個數位錄音機可以

00:07:37.010 --> 00:07:40.790
錄音不用錄音帶，(藍區18排)然後晚點提醒你

00:07:40.790 --> 00:07:47.960
(藍區18排)  [忍不住爆笑]

00:07:47.960 --> 00:07:49.790
你可以當鑰匙圈你就什麼都

00:07:49.790 --> 00:07:52.880
記得!  (大街左轉開3.3公里就到了)

00:07:52.880 --> 00:07:59.900
超簡單! (我天啊這超讚不斷)

00:07:59.900 --> 00:08:02.540
告訴我怎麼走  (大街左轉開3.3公里就到了)

00:08:02.540 --> 00:08:04.790
開3.3公里就到了) 這，你知道

00:08:04.790 --> 00:08:07.520
可以用小抄嗎?

00:08:07.520 --> 00:08:09.740
你聽過便條紙嗎?

00:08:09.740 --> 00:08:12.260
紙，就一張紙，就一張紙，

00:08:12.260 --> 00:08:14.510
當女性朋友選購牛仔褲時

00:08:14.510 --> 00:08:16.880
(天啊你看就這個這個會讚惹)

00:08:16.880 --> 00:08:19.220
當女性朋友

00:08:19.220 --> 00:08:21.710
選購牛仔褲時，沒錯!

00:08:21.710 --> 00:08:24.350
你的屁屁沒這麼性感，想像一下

00:08:24.350 --> 00:08:25.880
你可以重塑你的後臀

00:08:25.880 --> 00:08:27.680
然後變成頂級翹臀 (臥!!!

00:08:27.680 --> 00:08:30.500
馬上就變成好萊屋 (不)

00:08:30.500 --> 00:08:33.710
(沒可能，靠邀咧) 就像

00:08:33.710 --> 00:08:35.930
魔術胸罩，翹臀派 (翹臀派~)

00:08:35.930 --> 00:08:37.940
(翹臀派~) 女性內衣

00:08:37.940 --> 00:08:40.880
(翹臀派~) 從現在開始你也有曼妙

00:08:40.880 --> 00:08:43.460
美尻 (我的老天鵝)

00:08:43.460 --> 00:08:46.580
這是不是哪裡搞錯了

00:08:46.580 --> 00:08:49.160
這也可以成一套? (現在開始你也有

00:08:49.160 --> 00:08:51.080
超曼妙美尻就像

00:08:51.080 --> 00:08:52.880
明星美臀，穿上你的牛仔褲

00:08:52.880 --> 00:08:55.910
短褲，都翻出來。 隆重介紹

00:08:55.910 --> 00:08:58.370
新穎歡樂球 (新穎歡樂球?!)

00:08:58.370 --> 00:08:59.840
超搞笑的

00:08:59.840 --> 00:09:03.800
(搞笑) 只要14.99美金就把

00:09:03.800 --> 00:09:05.960
電視上最好玩的玩意帶回家

00:09:05.960 --> 00:09:10.760
買一送一喔! (喔!!!有兩葛!![鼓掌])

00:09:10.760 --> 00:09:13.970
Edgar, Edgar, 看到沒?

00:09:13.970 --> 00:09:15.290
你以後都不會再

00:09:15.290 --> 00:09:17.270
沒事煩把拔惹，你這小渾球

00:09:17.270 --> 00:09:19.550
超惹人厭der，賣吵賣吵，來這

00:09:19.550 --> 00:09:22.490
來囉，歡樂球

00:09:22.490 --> 00:09:25.040
他在看了!! 翻樂...歡樂球

00:09:25.040 --> 00:09:36.500
天啊，Edgar起肖了，從來沒聽過他弄

00:09:36.500 --> 00:09:39.050
出這種聲音，這玩意怎麼搞的

00:09:39.050 --> 00:09:41.080
 

00:09:47.010 --> 00:09:51.600
好囉好囉，玩球球玩夠囉

00:09:51.600 --> 00:09:53.610
乖乖乖

00:09:53.610 --> 00:09:56.820
好囉，乖乖(Edgar叫叫)，玩夠囉

00:09:56.820 --> 00:09:59.040
玩夠囉，No，

00:09:59.040 --> 00:10:05.610
你不能指揮我，Bye~~~

00:10:05.610 --> 00:10:07.800
一次用超低價入手兩個新穎歡樂球

00:10:07.800 --> 00:10:11.460
只要14.99美金  (有個床上問題

00:10:11.460 --> 00:10:13.440
大家都不願面對

00:10:13.440 --> 00:10:15.540
所以有人稱這種問題是

00:10:15.540 --> 00:10:18.600
致命的沉默，(三小??)

00:10:18.600 --> 00:10:20.370
針對這個問題，現在有個超棒解法

00:10:20.370 --> 00:10:22.650
為您介紹幸福美滿毯

00:10:22.650 --> 00:10:26.130
對喔，我懂，造成夫妻離婚

00:10:26.130 --> 00:10:29.910
第一常見的原因，頭號戰犯

00:10:29.910 --> 00:10:32.700
就是在被子裡面放屁

00:10:32.700 --> 00:10:35.610
我跟Frank離婚，因為

00:10:35.610 --> 00:10:38.010
這個機八砲老是在被子裡放屁

00:10:38.010 --> 00:10:39.810
超過一千萬美國人家中有槍

00:10:39.810 --> 00:10:43.080
三小? 床邊型家用保安

00:10:43.080 --> 00:10:46.200
散彈槍，我的老天鵝  (超過一千萬美國人

00:10:46.200 --> 00:10:48.690
家中有槍，以防危機。美國憲法

00:10:48.690 --> 00:10:50.190
第二修正案就是保障

00:10:50.190 --> 00:10:53.130
所有美國人武裝(美國人~~~)

00:10:53.130 --> 00:10:55.560
武裝必須要隨手可得

00:10:55.560 --> 00:10:57.300
就是這個了嗎?就是這個了嗎?

00:10:57.300 --> 00:10:59.160
可幫助你把槍枝固定在床邊

00:10:59.160 --> 00:11:01.050
可以輕易被床單跟被子蓋住

00:11:01.050 --> 00:11:03.330
獨家專利設計

00:11:03.330 --> 00:11:05.970
這豪恐怖RRRR  (床頭櫃

00:11:05.970 --> 00:11:08.100
收納槍枝，我們提供一個好方法

00:11:08.100 --> 00:11:12.110
獨家專利[神槍老手] (靠杯咧

00:11:12.400 --> 00:11:16.390
我們提供一個好方法，獨家專利[神槍老手]

00:11:16.390 --> 00:11:18.790
你看那什麼鬼東西 ([[神槍老手]可能是

00:11:18.790 --> 00:11:20.470
家用保全史上最大突破

00:11:20.470 --> 00:11:22.570
在有槍枝歷史以來 (真der!!!

00:11:22.570 --> 00:11:25.840
隆重介紹[你可以再近一點]

00:11:25.840 --> 00:11:28.510
[你可以再近一點 ╰(〒皿〒)╯] 高功率雙眼望遠鏡

00:11:28.510 --> 00:11:30.790
讚啦!!!  (就像一般墨鏡 (看起來超酷

00:11:30.790 --> 00:11:33.190
可以放大百分之三百 (300~~~)

00:11:33.190 --> 00:11:35.770
拿著超重的望遠鏡久了你的手會

00:11:35.770 --> 00:11:37.840
超痠，脖子揹久了也會超痠痛

00:11:37.840 --> 00:11:40.060
[你可以再近一點] (看起來超讚拉拉拉

00:11:40.060 --> 00:11:43.060
讓你兩手空空 (讚讚!你看他多爽

00:11:43.060 --> 00:11:45.250
有[你可以再近一點]望遠鏡，誰還要

00:11:45.250 --> 00:11:49.450
買超大電視?? [你可以再近一點]望遠鏡!!!

00:11:49.450 --> 00:11:54.190
來一起試一下，我好興奮阿我好興奮阿

00:11:54.190 --> 00:11:55.990
包裝超堅固，喔，

00:11:55.990 --> 00:11:59.080
幹，他們宣稱可以

00:11:59.080 --> 00:12:01.180
放大三倍是不是?

00:12:01.180 --> 00:12:03.310
可以放大百分之三百

00:12:03.310 --> 00:12:05.170
這個可以放大四倍?

00:12:05.170 --> 00:12:07.540
我是不是買到升級版? 4倍大的

00:12:07.540 --> 00:12:13.900
Frank的臉，喔喔喔!讚讚!!!

00:12:13.900 --> 00:12:15.760
我看起來屌不屌?我完全看不到自己

00:12:15.760 --> 00:12:19.630
喔，讚! 我還可以調，喔喔!!

00:12:19.630 --> 00:12:23.260
可以邊看邊調，超順，一點都不卡

00:12:23.260 --> 00:12:26.080
這玩意就是，你看

00:12:26.080 --> 00:12:29.800
眼睛超小，讓你基本上感覺

00:12:29.800 --> 00:12:30.820
自己就是透過屁眼看世界

00:12:30.820 --> 00:12:36.470
 

00:12:36.470 --> 00:12:38.530
 

00:12:53.279 --> 00:12:55.170
身為一個大隻佬

00:12:55.170 --> 00:12:57.689
有好有壞

00:12:57.689 --> 00:13:01.759
這就是未來，這真的太讚惹

