WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

00:00:00.020 --> 00:00:02.640
I will defeat this game

00:00:03.080 --> 00:00:05.340
if it's the last thing I'll ever do..

00:00:05.340 --> 00:00:06.720
This game is easy ok

00:00:06.720 --> 00:00:09.740
If you haven't played this game it's a piece of cake.

00:00:09.740 --> 00:00:13.120
This cake is- it's not a very delicious cake

00:00:13.120 --> 00:00:14.700
but it's a cake.

00:00:14.700 --> 00:00:16.400
That needs to be eaten

00:00:16.400 --> 00:00:17.180
ALIVE

00:00:17.180 --> 00:00:19.620
First you got to make sure you go up here

00:00:19.620 --> 00:00:21.160
right okay alright

00:00:21.160 --> 00:00:23.504
Slow down there cowboy we're not speedrunning it~

00:00:23.504 --> 00:00:25.300
Now we got to get up to   the rake

00:00:25.840 --> 00:00:27.740
which you might think 
"oh that's impossible"

00:00:27.750 --> 00:00:29.520
it's actually super easy.

00:00:29.520 --> 00:00:33.880
now THIS bit
you want to go out as far as possible

00:00:33.880 --> 00:00:36.720
and you want to pendulum swing

00:00:36.720 --> 00:00:41.200
and that actually makes the slide 20 times eazier

00:00:41.200 --> 00:00:43.320
a lot of people struggle on the slide

00:00:43.640 --> 00:00:45.020
NØŦ ĐƗS ǤUɎ

00:00:45.020 --> 00:00:48.480
there's another one of those where you
just have to launch yourself

00:00:48.740 --> 00:00:50.320
and right before you go

00:00:50.320 --> 00:00:51.378
YOU'RE GONNA AAAAAAA

00:00:52.180 --> 00:00:53.460
THAT'S HOW ITS DONE

00:00:53.460 --> 00:00:56.520
So what you want to do is
you want to grab the hammer heAre

00:00:56.660 --> 00:01:00.060
ᵃⁿᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ʷᵃⁿⁿᵃ ᵍᵒ 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 very slowly

00:01:00.880 --> 00:01:02.040
Vewy nice

00:01:02.040 --> 00:01:05.300
Oh god! That's not slow.
Bu- you're not going slow right now buddy

00:01:05.300 --> 00:01:07.800
Oh you oh no you- I made a terrible...

00:01:08.800 --> 00:01:09.840
OH look at that

00:01:10.100 --> 00:01:11.220
Oh look at that

00:01:11.220 --> 00:01:14.160
You thought I made a terribLE mihftake 
(mistake w/ his shitty swedish accent jk)

00:01:14.160 --> 00:01:14.940
j̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶s̶h̶u̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶f̶u̶c̶k̶ ̶u̶p̶

00:01:14.940 --> 00:01:18.680
Now we're gonna do the same trick
as we have done before

00:01:18.680 --> 00:01:21.580
nooow I've only- AH~ MY GOD okay

00:01:21.580 --> 00:01:24.940
we're just gonna 
we're just gonna fucking- PRRRRRRRA

00:01:25.080 --> 00:01:27.880
THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS to be a ~ AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

00:01:28.380 --> 00:01:30.900
NO!! NO FUCK YOU! 
[laugh, and the world laughs with you.]

00:01:30.900 --> 00:01:33.220
FUCK YOU THEN
[Weep, and you weep alone.]

00:01:33.220 --> 00:01:36.540
[For the sad old-] 
IDIDIDIDIDI would you- can you be quiet?

00:01:36.540 --> 00:01:37.700
Can I turn him off?

00:01:38.160 --> 00:01:39.720
Can I turm in off???

00:01:39.720 --> 00:01:42.900
oh wow the game just became better

00:01:46.280 --> 00:01:46.880
OH

00:01:54.360 --> 00:01:56.000
OH hello

00:01:56.520 --> 00:01:59.460
What's up?! What's up?!!

00:02:01.700 --> 00:02:02.960
fuck you

00:02:07.080 --> 00:02:10.460
What's up everybody it's-yA boi

00:02:14.940 --> 00:02:17.640
fuUUᵘck
oh god what have I done?

00:02:18.980 --> 00:02:25.320
AAAH look at that SKILL
look at that skiiiill babah

00:02:26.580 --> 00:02:29.880
game journalist little 5000 right there (??)

00:02:30.980 --> 00:02:31.980
WUOAH

00:02:32.600 --> 00:02:34.100
POwer move

00:02:34.520 --> 00:02:35.640
POWER mo-

00:02:36.020 --> 00:02:36.900
...

00:02:37.440 --> 00:02:38.760
POWER MOVE

00:02:38.760 --> 00:02:40.520
ᴾᴼᵂᴱᴿ ᴹᴼⱽᴱ (??)

00:02:40.520 --> 00:02:45.140
Hell yeah man!! You killin' it Felix
OOH

00:02:46.700 --> 00:02:48.360
OOOOOOOH (look at his tougue)

00:02:48.360 --> 00:02:49.820
NO (omg my ears)

00:02:49.820 --> 00:02:54.400
𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥'𝕤 𝕘𝕠𝕠𝕕 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪𝕓𝕠𝕕𝕪 𝕙𝕖𝕪 𝕓𝕠𝕪 *moaning*

00:02:54.740 --> 00:02:58.320
"Pewds you're using macros"
Shut the fuck up

00:02:58.320 --> 00:03:00.320
excuse me the door is ringing

00:03:01.980 --> 00:03:05.220
(pewds butt has gone away with his dignity)

00:03:10.220 --> 00:03:12.220
oh hi  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

00:03:16.140 --> 00:03:19.360
(the visitor is IMPACIENT (the doorbell rang 2 times))
(caution phone users)

00:03:21.100 --> 00:03:22.580
(i warned ya)

00:03:25.640 --> 00:03:27.640
(THREE TIMES NOW)

00:03:27.640 --> 00:03:29.640
(wait. Is it a bell?)

00:03:30.260 --> 00:03:33.420
I'm the best goddamn gamer on YouTube.

00:03:33.920 --> 00:03:40.680
lift me up... like- fuck and- dammit! It's so FRUSTRATING

00:03:40.680 --> 00:03:44.700
*laughs*

00:03:44.700 --> 00:03:49.500
I have no control. I'm just like waving my foot

00:03:50.540 --> 00:03:52.540
(look at his mouth, again)

00:03:54.500 --> 00:03:57.160
SUCK ON MY fucking toes (?)

00:03:57.700 --> 00:04:08.000
*unintelligible groanings*

00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:10.000
(Pewds you ok?)

00:04:10.080 --> 00:04:12.080
GET UUUUUUP

00:04:13.840 --> 00:04:15.840
Can YoU SUck a DICK?
My god like

00:04:15.840 --> 00:04:17.000
Oh my go-

00:04:17.000 --> 00:04:18.960
He just prrramlehaha

00:04:21.200 --> 00:04:21.860
oh wow

00:04:23.300 --> 00:04:23.800
no

00:04:25.500 --> 00:04:26.840
(mouth)

00:04:28.780 --> 00:04:30.340
(again)

00:04:30.960 --> 00:04:31.700
nO

00:04:32.180 --> 00:04:33.380
I'm so fucking-

00:04:33.440 --> 00:04:36.360
oh my GOD. OH. MY. GAH.

00:04:36.740 --> 00:04:40.200
this stupid (c/g)rumbling little thing in the mouse

00:04:40.200 --> 00:04:42.180
and my gggGOD

00:04:42.420 --> 00:04:42.920
'kay

00:04:43.580 --> 00:04:44.080
right

00:04:47.240 --> 00:04:49.820
How in the world do I get up from there?

00:04:55.460 --> 00:04:57.660
I keep- doesn't fucking going anywhere

00:05:11.940 --> 00:05:14.340
No. We do not go down there.

00:05:16.880 --> 00:05:17.520
No.

00:05:18.400 --> 00:05:22.740
We talked about this. Oh my god it, it- 
I'm sweating so much.

00:05:23.460 --> 00:05:25.300
This stupid guy

00:05:27.060 --> 00:05:28.480
No. RELAX.

00:05:28.520 --> 00:05:33.180
New strat. New strat. New strat. (strategy)

00:05:33.180 --> 00:05:39.300
That will PIERC- nOO. No!! Oh god.

00:05:42.500 --> 00:05:43.520
ahh fuck

00:05:44.360 --> 00:05:45.220
New strat.

00:05:46.940 --> 00:05:50.040
What the fuck, like, launch yourself woman

00:05:50.040 --> 00:05:53.220
Did I just hear someone using microaggression?

00:05:54.600 --> 00:06:00.180
whoa whoa whoa
what just happened? What just happened?

00:06:00.960 --> 00:06:05.780
How did I do that?
oh my god omae wa mou shindeiru (You're already dead in Japanese)

00:06:07.920 --> 00:06:11.740
Can I just sit here? Can I just sit here?

00:06:18.940 --> 00:06:22.380
You know... You know they tell you
you hear bells ringing before you die

00:06:22.380 --> 00:06:25.840
*bells ringing*

00:06:25.840 --> 00:06:28.460
I can't tell if it's real life or the game at this point

00:06:31.460 --> 00:06:33.920
oh oh oh
no NO

00:06:33.920 --> 00:06:34.900
NO

00:06:34.900 --> 00:06:36.040
NOOO

00:06:36.040 --> 00:06:40.980
We fight BACK OOH oh

00:06:40.980 --> 00:06:42.380
ah ah ah ah

00:06:42.380 --> 00:06:44.380
(?? r u alright?)

00:06:45.340 --> 00:06:49.020
Oh god oh my god OH WOW

00:06:52.260 --> 00:06:53.280
Oh-kay

00:06:53.820 --> 00:06:58.240
Okay we're on the toilet 
Sitting on a toilet

00:07:03.700 --> 00:07:05.700
(we lost him)

00:07:27.220 --> 00:07:31.840
Oh huh
shut up music

00:07:39.340 --> 00:07:41.960
BEST GAMER ON YOUTUBE

00:07:41.960 --> 00:07:44.740
Didn't you think i could get it didn't you

00:07:44.920 --> 00:07:46.920
"Oh he's never going to beat this."

00:07:48.580 --> 00:07:49.760
easy.

00:07:49.760 --> 00:07:50.960
EASY.

00:07:51.700 --> 00:07:55.440
now we going down BABE. Goin down~~

00:07:55.440 --> 00:07:57.440
It's gonna be easy.

00:08:03.340 --> 00:08:04.920
What the heck is this?

00:08:09.020 --> 00:08:10.760
My body is shaking

00:08:12.700 --> 00:08:14.140
What what's up everybody

00:08:15.100 --> 00:08:26.140
Oh what? No. No. No. no no you can't be serious

00:08:27.460 --> 00:08:29.460
What happens down there?

00:08:29.500 --> 00:08:33.160
Do I have to go up there? if I fall
what happens if I fall down?

00:08:35.620 --> 00:08:36.880
You're so mean

00:08:37.000 --> 00:08:42.140
whoever made this. Bennett you're so mean
let's just push away this orange. Go away.

00:08:43.920 --> 00:08:48.280
Can we push this out a little bit as well?
No that's frozen. Okay

00:08:49.720 --> 00:08:51.040
oh wow

00:08:52.220 --> 00:08:54.060
There's no checkpoints

00:08:56.200 --> 00:08:58.680
there is no checkpoint

00:09:05.340 --> 00:09:07.540
That's so mean

00:09:07.540 --> 00:09:08.920
You're mean~

00:09:09.360 --> 00:09:10.800
oh wow okay

00:09:11.320 --> 00:09:13.020
It's so steep.

00:09:13.920 --> 00:09:15.920
It's seriously so steep.

00:09:16.980 --> 00:09:24.440
Oh wow oh wow look at that look at that everybody
it's your boy PewDiePie I'm gonna cry

00:09:24.440 --> 00:09:26.760
oh my god it gets steeper

00:09:28.260 --> 00:09:30.260
(stop crying)

00:09:30.960 --> 00:09:32.700
It's just not fair

00:09:33.220 --> 00:09:34.540
it's just not fair

00:09:40.420 --> 00:09:43.040
oh my god it gets even worse

00:09:48.540 --> 00:09:49.740
Oh my god

00:09:51.500 --> 00:09:54.520
[you know they tell you 
you hear bells ringing before you die]

00:10:03.980 --> 00:10:05.500
NOOOOoooo