WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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It's time for another-

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*maniacal coughing*

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Skrattar du så förlorar du, mannen.

00:00:06.860 --> 00:00:07.360
*intro*

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Yes, yes, yes, another one

00:00:09.620 --> 00:00:11.720
*slow clap*

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How many more?

00:00:14.080 --> 00:00:16.120
How many more is he gonna make?

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Ah geez...

00:00:18.560 --> 00:00:24.600
I sure hope no one calls me out on it, for milking a series, cuz that has never been done before

00:00:25.060 --> 00:00:25.560
*Outrageous slam*

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Looking at you, Mr. Happy Wheels.

00:00:27.780 --> 00:00:34.040
Now, let's have a little bit of (Felix laughs), okay. Is that too much to ask?

00:00:34.360 --> 00:00:36.880
Last week I asked you to send in some videos

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I'm not gonna do that because they were goddamn awful.

00:00:39.300 --> 00:00:44.200
[Video narrator] So the first stop is a cranberry capital of the world: Warrens, Wisconsin.

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It was amazing seeing these vast fields of cranberries this close, so I decided to take a closer look-

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[Felix] Alright, this is really- really funny

00:00:49.980 --> 00:00:52.360
[video] Take some on my own 
[Felix] He's gonna fall in

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haha

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ha ha ha ha

00:00:54.840 --> 00:00:55.420
ho ho ho ho

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I didn't- I didn't see that one coming,

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OH MY GOD that's hilarious! [vid] A closer look and get some on my own-

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*cranberry gurgles*

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OHHHHHHH

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my god, these are FUNNY.

00:01:10.780 --> 00:01:12.780
[video] There's a story behind my skin,

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It's a mosaic of all the faces before it.

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I'm English, Irish, German, and Cherokee.

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I'm a hundred percent-

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*SCREECH PAUSE, EXHALE OF RELIEF*

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I never pressed the pause button so fast in my life. Oh my God.

00:01:26.160 --> 00:01:27.400
*EXHALE OF RELIEF #2*

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I'm sweating.

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*under breath* oh that was a close one. Christian channel.

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Christian channel... this-

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*EXHALE OF RELIEF #3*

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[vid] The third circle tonight. We talked about this the first two-

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[woman] SAY NO!

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[man] You need to learn to say "no".

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Je-Jesse, if you take this turn-

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If you take this- if you-

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Je- JESSE! *Japanese driving hype music*

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[Felix] Yes!

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*Japanese driving hype music*

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[man] STOP IT!

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JESSE NO!

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*Japanese driving hype music*

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You are so grounded!

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[Felix] What a gangster,

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You can't tell Jesse to do NOTHING.

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He is so grounded.

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[man] You are so grounded!

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[Felix] YOU'RE SO GROUNDED! *chuckles*

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Why do you let him drive then? What the heck man.

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*inhale* ahh

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Ah, I've seen this

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It's so good

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*chuckle*

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His face and he's just like, "Oh, you got me! YOU GOT ME MAYNN YOU GOT ME-

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HAHA!

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Ahh... bootiful.

00:02:24.520 --> 00:02:29.020
[vid] Who are safer drivers, men or women? Well, according to a new survey

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55% of adults feel that women are most responsible for minor fender benders,

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while 78% blame men for most fatal crashes.

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please note that the percentages in these pie graphs do not add up to 100%

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because the math was done by a woman

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*mixed reaction from audience and Pewds*

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[Felix] Buh, bu- HHH!

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to those of you hissing at that joke, it should be noted that that joke was written by A WOMAN. So...

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Now you don't know what the hell to do

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*laughter from audience*

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Nah, I'm just kidding. We don't hire women.

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*louder laughter from crowd, silent laugh from Felix*

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*stops*

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[Felix] Moving on, moving on.

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Thank you so much for masturbating over my stream and donating two thousand dollars you virgin! Let me go ahead and write you down on the board right here.

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[man] WOW, can you guys show him some love

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Woww can you guys show Steven some love on the board right here wow

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[Felix] *chuckles* good old Steven

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[man] so much $$, oh my gawd Steven, ah my white board

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okay

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I really don't understand why I keep getting hate in the community

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everybody just comes in here saying I do this for the money

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No I don't i do it cuz I love it ❤︎

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Wow that wasn't

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NO Felix Christian Channel *whispers* stop laughing

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all right what do we got, what do we got, what do we got, OHH?

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*chuckles*

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maybe I need a friend for Slippy, maybe that's his problem, hey, Slippy what do you think of this?

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you know what i'm amazed that he hasn't taking a shit yet so

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so I'm not gonn-i'm not gonna gamble

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okay

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why did I think that it's a good idea to get a god damn toadd

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so moist you know, it's kinda nice for your-

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HELP

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what the fuck

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what are you doing, what- don't touch it, who told you to touch it, I'll fucking kill you, don't ever touch that fucking shit again

00:05:08.900 --> 00:05:12.160
where is that from, *HUHHH* wait it's a song

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oh, hell yeah it made me *AH HA HA* but I still haven't lost, ok, what do we got?

00:05:23.100 --> 00:05:25.220
god damn it's so hard to be a Christian Channel these day

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people don't understand, PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND, you can't kill a bull with an apple

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idiots THESE MORONS

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okay, okay

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[video narrating] a more practiced framing carpenter can set a nail with three hits

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wait sorry, what the heck is "memes from Estonia", what is that, wha- and an experienced carpenter can sink one with two hits

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but only an alpha knows how to drive a nail with a single hit

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uh-huh, okay, yeah how you gonna do dat

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oh god

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OH

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family friendly Memes from Estonia I approve of you thank you very much Estonia for your keep- for Keeping it Family Friendly

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Thank you Estonia you know, usually when you go to the eastern sides and people start looking like this

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Its- it's and it's never good it's weird explosions, drugs, guns

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Okay a family friendly memes from Estonia, very nice, very nice family friendly Memes from Estonia, I really appreciate it. thank you

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okay, I see where this is going and I'm going to choose to stop there but thank you

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it could be family friendly

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Holy Moly

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*chuckles* look at his face, it's so red *laughs*

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what's the context here please someone fill me in, fill me in what is happening here, where is he?

00:07:03.560 --> 00:07:09.039
Holy Moly, thank you for not swearing, thank you for keeping it real Holy moly is is

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is a family-friendly statement Holy Moly indeed as you guys can see

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Luke he Kill me with the stun stun he can't use a stun yeah Guys Look

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What yeah yeah Look Guys Look Look?

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Hey Disconnected Yeah Guys

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Thanks for Watching Guys

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This Guy

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It's the next damn Pewdiepie

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my god what a talent, *OH MY GAWD* very nice

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varry no-

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is that a chicken, let's get it

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it's always the quick ones that get me man I don't even know

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what is this, oh?

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oh sizzles, oh

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ey ey ey can't censor that

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WOW

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*OH MAH GAWD*

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yeah go in for the attack dude look at that sneaky he's floating over

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look, he misses the broom

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a crucial miss, you can't miss from that distance the coon is gonna get you

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the broom is dead at this point and then I assume

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what happens here is that he dies as well from the coon?

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you don- you don't mess with a coon man

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look at him, he just floats in, out of no where

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he just floats in out of no where

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how does he do that?

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ahh, i don't know what to tell you man

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Nicolas , this train is gonna crash into these five people

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should we move the train to go this way?

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or should we let the train it go that way, which way should-

00:09:04.520 --> 00:09:06.380
wow that's really interesting teaching a child?

00:09:06.940 --> 00:09:09.510
moral dilemmas at an- at an early age

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this child, it's a brilliant mind, it's a genius, my god OF COURSE

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literally the answer, no one is ever given to this dilemma

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hahh

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dat is right little Timmy, if we move over the lady, she can get Killed as well, is a genius

00:09:45.440 --> 00:09:48.400
clearly he's just respecting women here and there's nothing else to it

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WELL, what do you KNOW, did you laugh or did you lose?

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why do I always say that, you know what

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Heck it i'm going with it

00:09:58.680 --> 00:10:01.640
Hope you enjoyed the video ahh- remember to buy my chair

00:10:01.850 --> 00:10:03.850
everyone, I sell Shairs

00:10:04.000 --> 00:10:05.360
Shairs

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Shairs

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see you next week with another one

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and remember kids: stay family friendly, christian

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who am i, anymore at all

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BROFIST

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for the good old tames

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let's give 'em the-

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let's give 'em what they want

00:10:20.080 --> 00:10:23.880
let's give 'em what they want, they want a BROFIST I know you want a brofist

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there it is- there it is

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classic 2012, come on man, nothing's bad gonna happen, I promise

00:10:33.640 --> 00:10:35.400
you know what, give it a little kiss

00:10:35.870 --> 00:10:37.520
give it a little kiss

00:10:37.520 --> 00:10:39.969
you kiss it too you, kiss it too

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LICK IT