WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.840 Hello fellow youtube-her-her-hers 00:00:02.840 --> 00:00:04.940 Michael Vsauce here 00:00:04.940 --> 00:00:06.340 Awkward handshakes. 00:00:06.340 --> 00:00:07.700 *Laughs* 00:00:07.700 --> 00:00:10.580 It's a topic thats very important to me, you know 00:00:10.580 --> 00:00:12.240 People pick all kinds of topics 00:00:12.240 --> 00:00:14.060 To devote their life to 00:00:14.060 --> 00:00:15.960 Maybe to make the planet a better place 00:00:15.960 --> 00:00:18.100 My vow, for my life 00:00:18.100 --> 00:00:20.900 Is to stop awkward handshakes 00:00:20.900 --> 00:00:23.060 I've started a charity organization 00:00:23.060 --> 00:00:25.260 stopawkwardhandshakes.org {real website, totally recommend you visit it} 00:00:25.260 --> 00:00:27.720 And so far we've got a lot of supporters 00:00:27.720 --> 00:00:30.140 Who are feeling the same issues that I have 00:00:30.180 --> 00:00:32.600 Of the pure cringe of an awkward handshake 00:00:32.600 --> 00:00:33.360 We've all had one 00:00:33.580 --> 00:00:34.940 So to lessen the blow 00:00:35.280 --> 00:00:36.160 for all of you 00:00:36.160 --> 00:00:36.960 that's suffering out there 00:00:37.060 --> 00:00:39.860 here at awkwardhandshakesstopthem.org 00:00:40.320 --> 00:00:41.680 we're going to laugh at other people 00:00:41.680 --> 00:00:43.180 having awkward handshakes 00:00:43.180 --> 00:00:46.140 because that helps to release a lil' bit of that stress 00:00:46.140 --> 00:00:47.720 that you're going through 00:00:47.720 --> 00:00:49.380 don't uh.. don't. don't worry 00:00:49.380 --> 00:00:50.820 I know what you're going through 00:00:52.100 --> 00:00:54.220 It's going to be okay 00:00:54.220 --> 00:00:54.840 Now this one 00:00:54.840 --> 00:00:56.440 so many people sent to me 00:00:56.840 --> 00:00:57.880 When it dropped 00:00:58.020 --> 00:00:58.960 *laughs* 00:00:59.060 --> 00:01:00.140 And I gotta admit 00:01:00.140 --> 00:01:00.720 It's pretty funny 00:01:00.720 --> 00:01:01.460 Okay let's watch 00:01:01.660 --> 00:01:05.960 *quality music* 00:01:06.340 --> 00:01:06.840 *slap* 00:01:07.460 --> 00:01:09.560 Top of the morning to ya! 00:01:09.560 --> 00:01:13.300 Trump's kid, I swear, is going to be the new Jacksepticeye one day 00:01:13.320 --> 00:01:13.820 *slap* 00:01:13.820 --> 00:01:15.820 TOP OF THE MORNING TO YA LADDIES MY NAME IS JACKSEPTICEYE 00:01:15.820 --> 00:01:18.940 What is happening here? Can we deconstruct this? 00:01:18.940 --> 00:01:21.160 I wanna understand where it went wrong 00:01:21.160 --> 00:01:22.500 She goes in for the high five 00:01:23.920 --> 00:01:24.420 Kid gets rekt 00:01:24.420 --> 00:01:26.620 Look at that face, look at that face! 00:01:26.700 --> 00:01:27.900 That's the face of 00:01:27.900 --> 00:01:29.760 absolutely out obliterated 00:01:29.760 --> 00:01:30.420 The kid knows 00:01:30.420 --> 00:01:32.560 You know it's bad enough that Trump is his father but this 00:01:32.700 --> 00:01:34.680 this is too much! 00:01:34.680 --> 00:01:36.600 being humiliated by *HER?* mother 00:01:36.600 --> 00:01:37.780 he wont stand for it 00:01:39.160 --> 00:01:40.360 She strikes again 00:01:40.460 --> 00:01:42.980 Now, shaking, he's infuriated 00:01:43.280 --> 00:01:45.360 He knows, he needs to make a move 00:01:45.940 --> 00:01:46.800 *JackSlapticeye* 00:01:47.620 --> 00:01:49.380 He does the Jacksepticeye 00:01:49.480 --> 00:01:52.540 Bold move, but very effective 00:01:52.540 --> 00:01:54.760 Actually no, he looks like a fucking insane person 00:01:54.760 --> 00:01:56.840 I even sympathize with this kid 00:01:56.840 --> 00:01:57.440 I'm like dude, 00:01:57.440 --> 00:01:59.180 this kid's gotta have some issues 00:01:59.180 --> 00:02:00.340 Y'know when I was a kid 00:02:00.640 --> 00:02:01.280 No cringe 00:02:01.400 --> 00:02:02.200 whatsoever 00:02:02.340 --> 00:02:04.280 *laughs* 00:02:04.440 --> 00:02:04.940 No 00:02:05.540 --> 00:02:06.740 oh I'm really cool 00:02:06.960 --> 00:02:07.520 trust me 00:02:07.900 --> 00:02:09.400 I am veryy cool 00:02:09.700 --> 00:02:12.400 I was even cooler as younger actually 00:02:13.040 --> 00:02:16.140 Y'know I took down my coolness level just so 00:02:16.140 --> 00:02:18.680 since we're on the Trump topic of handshakes 00:02:18.680 --> 00:02:20.700 you know he's been in the public eye a lot lately 00:02:20.700 --> 00:02:23.280 and a lot of handshakes don't seem to work out for him 00:02:23.280 --> 00:02:23.800 or maybe they are 00:02:23.800 --> 00:02:24.300 ha 00:02:24.700 --> 00:02:25.500 let's watch 00:02:25.640 --> 00:02:27.400 The result might shock you 00:02:27.400 --> 00:02:29.220 why am I click baiting you mid-video 00:02:29.220 --> 00:02:30.160 that doesn't make any sense 00:02:30.280 --> 00:02:31.560 *weird handshake* 00:02:31.560 --> 00:02:33.400 this one I don't understand 00:02:33.400 --> 00:02:34.960 it says 'Funny and Racist' 00:02:35.020 --> 00:02:35.900 Um, excuse me 00:02:35.960 --> 00:02:38.800 Nope! WEE OOO 00:02:38.920 --> 00:02:40.580 Those things do not match 00:02:40.740 --> 00:02:42.540 You cannot.. disgusting 00:02:42.540 --> 00:02:44.720 I'm gonna tell Wall Street Journal about this right now 00:02:44.720 --> 00:02:50.300 *alright keep moving along* 00:02:50.500 --> 00:02:53.780 So what is so funny and racist I don't understand? 00:02:56.300 --> 00:02:56.820 *bitch no* 00:02:58.560 --> 00:03:00.520 OOOOOOOOOOHHHH 00:03:00.540 --> 00:03:01.040 I dunno 00:03:01.040 --> 00:03:03.800 I think I read somewhere that he's not supposed to shake the hand 00:03:03.800 --> 00:03:05.220 Yeah he had something in his hand 00:03:05.220 --> 00:03:06.580 So he's like *random stuttering* 00:03:06.580 --> 00:03:08.180 Although I think that guy put 00:03:08.180 --> 00:03:10.700 that thing in his hand so he can blow Trump up 00:03:10.700 --> 00:03:11.860 I think that's what happened 00:03:11.860 --> 00:03:14.220 I mean he could easily just put it in the other side 00:03:14.220 --> 00:03:15.380 But he's like "You know what?" 00:03:15.380 --> 00:03:18.080 That's not racist, that's just him not liking Trump 00:03:18.380 --> 00:03:20.300 Good zinger there I would say 00:03:20.300 --> 00:03:21.060 That was a good zinger 00:03:21.060 --> 00:03:22.400 Look at Trump's face here 00:03:22.400 --> 00:03:23.780 You can't really make out the pixel 00:03:23.940 --> 00:03:25.500 But if you..zoom in 00:03:25.500 --> 00:03:27.160 *picture enhancing program.exe 00:03:27.160 --> 00:03:27.880 Closer 00:03:28.200 --> 00:03:30.200 Can we get a facial scan on that please 00:03:31.320 --> 00:03:32.600 *ding* Thats right 00:03:32.600 --> 00:03:34.900 He absolutely just got s-savaged {?} 00:03:34.960 --> 00:03:35.460 100 percent 00:03:35.800 --> 00:03:37.460 OHH handshakes 00:03:37.600 --> 00:03:38.220 ohhh you ;) 00:03:38.480 --> 00:03:40.180 How can you get this so wrong? 00:03:40.180 --> 00:03:41.860 Thousands of years of social interaction 00:03:41.860 --> 00:03:43.580 and we still haven't gotten past this 00:03:43.580 --> 00:03:45.480 Have you opened your eyes yet? 00:03:46.460 --> 00:03:47.300 Go and donate to 00:03:47.740 --> 00:03:49.360 stopawkwardhandshakes.org 00:03:49.820 --> 00:03:52.300 You can also donate directly to my PayPal 00:03:52.460 --> 00:03:53.220 Trust me it's legit 00:03:53.220 --> 00:03:54.320 It's a legit charity 00:03:54.320 --> 00:03:55.520 We take ourselves very seriously 00:03:55.520 --> 00:03:57.340 All the money goes to the organization 00:03:57.480 --> 00:03:58.120 Moving on 00:03:58.680 --> 00:03:59.320 *laughs* 00:04:00.200 --> 00:04:02.520 I'm laughing before I watch it! 00:04:02.520 --> 00:04:03.600 I love this handshake 00:04:03.740 --> 00:04:04.620 Let's watch. 00:04:13.680 --> 00:04:15.680 *give me hug* 00:04:18.600 --> 00:04:19.580 Oh it doesn't show it 00:04:19.580 --> 00:04:21.720 This might seem like a normal handshake to you 00:04:21.720 --> 00:04:23.640 But have you opened your eyes yet? 00:04:23.640 --> 00:04:25.260 Let's look at that on another angle 00:04:27.980 --> 00:04:29.100 teh HA HA SHIT 00:04:29.100 --> 00:04:32.020 *laughing intensifies* 00:04:32.020 --> 00:04:32.520 Damn 00:04:32.680 --> 00:04:33.960 You can't just BWAH 00:04:34.340 --> 00:04:35.220 *laugh* like 00:04:35.220 --> 00:04:36.200 YOU DON'T DO THAT 00:04:36.900 --> 00:04:37.620 You can't- 00:04:37.660 --> 00:04:38.540 I mean you CAN 00:04:38.540 --> 00:04:40.260 I think we all can learn something from Trump here actually 00:04:40.260 --> 00:04:41.500 I dind't think I would say that but 00:04:42.300 --> 00:04:44.700 That was an excellent show of- 00:04:44.800 --> 00:04:45.920 how to do a boss handshake 00:04:46.260 --> 00:04:46.760 honestly 00:04:48.240 --> 00:04:49.160 AYY HE DID IT AGAIN 00:04:50.520 --> 00:04:51.460 WHY DOES HE DO THAT 00:04:51.460 --> 00:04:52.440 *laughing intensifies* 00:04:52.440 --> 00:04:53.300 He is such an asshole *dont say that about senpai bitch* 00:04:53.300 --> 00:04:54.660 That's such a dick move 00:04:54.660 --> 00:04:57.740 He is basically saying "hey my penis is bigger than yours" 00:04:58.220 --> 00:04:58.720 oh okay 00:04:59.960 --> 00:05:00.660 but THIS 00:05:02.280 --> 00:05:02.780 THIS 00:05:03.900 --> 00:05:05.340 IS JUST THE BEGINNING 00:05:05.340 --> 00:05:06.880 I'm sure you've seen this one 00:05:06.880 --> 00:05:07.820 We have america *ayy* 00:05:07.820 --> 00:05:08.600 and we have Japan *oyasumi poodiepai-san* 00:05:08.600 --> 00:05:12.740 and then we have what I like to call a sexual interaction 00:05:13.040 --> 00:05:13.920 taking place 00:05:14.340 --> 00:05:14.900 through 00:05:15.180 --> 00:05:15.820 purely by 00:05:15.860 --> 00:05:16.660 a handshake 00:05:16.780 --> 00:05:17.700 let's watch 00:05:25.880 --> 00:05:27.500 did you hear that "shall we shake"? 00:05:27.720 --> 00:05:28.680 Trump knew it was coming 00:05:30.280 --> 00:05:31.160 shall we shake 00:05:31.940 --> 00:05:33.260 this face says yes 00:05:33.400 --> 00:05:34.300 yes we shall 00:05:34.780 --> 00:05:36.140 Mr. Prime minister 00:05:36.400 --> 00:05:36.960 oh my god 00:05:37.200 --> 00:05:37.960 little did he know 00:05:38.160 --> 00:05:40.220 what he invited himself to 00:05:44.580 --> 00:05:45.780 he does a hand slap 00:05:45.780 --> 00:05:46.960 i don't know what's up with that 00:05:47.960 --> 00:05:49.240 he did THE PULL? 00:05:49.460 --> 00:05:50.500 he blocked the pull 00:05:50.500 --> 00:05:51.420 very excellent 00:05:51.520 --> 00:05:52.640 block of the pull 00:05:52.740 --> 00:05:53.740 Mr. Prime minister 00:05:54.100 --> 00:05:55.040 you blocked the pull 00:05:55.040 --> 00:05:56.140 not a lot of people can pull that off 00:05:56.140 --> 00:05:58.140 *background speaking* 00:05:58.140 --> 00:06:00.140 he's laughing a lil' bit to hide the Awkwardness 00:06:00.140 --> 00:06:02.140 I can really.. - you know that's ... that's also a really good... 00:06:02.140 --> 00:06:04.140 *background speaking* 00:06:04.140 --> 00:06:06.140 oh look at me... 00:06:06.140 --> 00:06:08.140 he wants to maintain eye contact 00:06:08.140 --> 00:06:10.140 he's trying to make it less awkward 00:06:10.140 --> 00:06:12.140 but he keeps going.. he's like: HEY LOOK 00:06:12.140 --> 00:06:14.140 *background speaking* 00:06:14.140 --> 00:06:16.140 Trump: "Thank you everybody" Pewds: AHHHHHH 00:06:16.140 --> 00:06:18.140 *laughs* 00:06:18.140 --> 00:06:20.140 That was the Climax 00:06:20.140 --> 00:06:22.140 pretty much... *laughs* look at Trump.. 00:06:22.140 --> 00:06:24.140 Why is this so funny to me 00:06:24.140 --> 00:06:26.140 I have no idea 00:06:26.140 --> 00:06:28.140 *laughs* 00:06:28.140 --> 00:06:30.140 *background speaking continues* 00:06:30.140 --> 00:06:32.140 Trump: We have strong hands. 00:06:34.140 --> 00:06:36.140 Trump, you know... being the Gentleman he is 00:06:36.140 --> 00:06:38.140 complimenting the Prime Minister 00:06:38.140 --> 00:06:40.140 for having strong hands 00:06:44.140 --> 00:06:46.140 Wait.. "the Infamous Donald Trump" 00:06:46.140 --> 00:06:48.140 I didnt know this was a thing. 00:06:48.140 --> 00:06:50.140 00:06:50.140 --> 00:06:52.140 00:06:52.140 --> 00:06:54.140 Here it comes... what's gonna happen? 00:06:54.140 --> 00:06:56.140 uh.. oohh... 00:06:56.140 --> 00:06:58.140 That wasn't too bad...w-what? 00:06:58.140 --> 00:07:00.140 No, I don't.. I don't see it.. They don't see it.. 00:07:00.140 --> 00:07:02.140 Right now I'm just happy.. 00:07:02.140 --> 00:07:04.140 Trump is President, so I can see him 00:07:04.140 --> 00:07:06.140 doing more handshakes.. this is very fascinating. 00:07:06.140 --> 00:07:08.140 This is good for a Research for our Charity. 00:07:08.140 --> 00:07:10.140 But anyway... I'm not here to just talk about 00:07:10.140 --> 00:07:12.140 Mr. Trump. I'm here to talk about 00:07:12.140 --> 00:07:14.140 awkward handshakes. That's where my 00:07:14.140 --> 00:07:16.140 Passion is. That's where my heart is. 00:07:16.140 --> 00:07:18.140 And it's an important cause 00:07:18.140 --> 00:07:20.140 that I don't think a lot of people realise. 00:07:20.140 --> 00:07:22.140 I've said this before and I'll say it again.. 00:07:22.140 --> 00:07:24.140 we should bow.. surely you can never fuck up 00:07:24.140 --> 00:07:26.140 a bow... That's all we should do.. 00:07:26.140 --> 00:07:27.100 Just.. BOW! 00:07:27.100 --> 00:07:30.140 There's no esfalp... esfolp... esfalp... 00:07:30.140 --> 00:07:32.140 esfol... shut up! 00:07:32.140 --> 00:07:34.140 *video* 00:07:38.140 --> 00:07:40.140 EURGHH... *cringe noise* 00:07:40.140 --> 00:07:41.900 He shook with the wrong Hand... 00:07:41.900 --> 00:07:43.100 obviously it's awkward. 00:07:43.100 --> 00:07:43.600 disgusting... 00:07:43.600 --> 00:07:45.600 This man needs to be killed. 00:07:45.600 --> 00:07:46.100 I'm sorry. 00:07:46.100 --> 00:07:48.100 And I know it might seem a lil' bit harsh 00:07:48.100 --> 00:07:50.100 but this Charity is not fucking around. 00:07:50.100 --> 00:07:50.600 okay? 00:07:50.600 --> 00:07:51.800 No more handshakes.. 00:07:51.800 --> 00:07:53.800 Y..You got one strike, okay? 00:07:53.800 --> 00:07:55.800 You fuck it up once and you're done. 00:07:55.800 --> 00:07:57.800 You know, I may have fucked up a couple actually *laughs* 00:07:57.800 --> 00:07:59.800 *laughs* ...but that doesn't matter 00:08:00.880 --> 00:08:03.360 Reporter: so thinking forward to the navi game, now again best of five *initiates awkward handshake* 00:08:03.500 --> 00:08:05.400 Reporter: *Awkward babble* 00:08:05.800 --> 00:08:07.800 OOOOHHHH *cringe noise* 00:08:07.800 --> 00:08:09.800 There's no saying "Oh, I wasn't ready" 00:08:09.800 --> 00:08:11.800 that's too bad.. It's already done! 00:08:11.800 --> 00:08:13.800 That damage is done! 00:08:13.800 --> 00:08:15.800 *video* 00:08:15.800 --> 00:08:17.800 EUUURGHH *cringe noise again* 00:08:17.800 --> 00:08:20.800 AHAH! That hurts meeee *cringy voice* 00:08:20.800 --> 00:08:22.000 "Oh, I wasn't going for a Handshake 00:08:22.100 --> 00:08:23.000 I was making expression 00:08:23.200 --> 00:08:25.000 Thank you for adding me to a cringe compilation... 00:08:25.300 --> 00:08:27.000 ...you fucking moron! *laughs* 00:08:27.000 --> 00:08:29.000 He tried to save it... 00:08:29.000 --> 00:08:31.000 ..No.. no.. no... 00:08:31.000 --> 00:08:32.000 No.. Just.. NO 00:08:32.300 --> 00:08:34.300 S..Sorry, you both gonna .. again.. 00:08:34.400 --> 00:08:36.000 You both gonna have to get executed. 00:08:36.000 --> 00:08:38.000 I'm sorry. *video speaking continues* 00:08:56.000 --> 00:08:58.000 AHAHA! *laughs* 00:08:58.800 --> 00:08:59.300 NOOOO 00:08:59.300 --> 00:09:00.000 Such a classic... 00:09:00.000 --> 00:09:01.700 EHH.. 00:09:01.700 --> 00:09:03.800 Oh shit, he's going in with the Brofist 00:09:03.800 --> 00:09:06.000 I'm doing the Handshake.. oh no.. 00:09:06.000 --> 00:09:08.000 How do we fix this? Oh shit! 00:09:08.000 --> 00:09:10.000 Ah.. sh.. AHH.. AH SH... 00:09:10.100 --> 00:09:12.000 If you get in that Situation 00:09:12.000 --> 00:09:14.000 I have a thing installed in my tooth that I can.. 00:09:14.000 --> 00:09:16.500 ...bite on and it injects poison in my Bloodstream 00:09:16.500 --> 00:09:18.500 I will be dead. I'd be coughing up... 00:09:18.500 --> 00:09:20.500 ... my own Saliva and Bubbles 00:09:20.500 --> 00:09:22.500 and I'll eventually be dead within 00:09:22.500 --> 00:09:23.500 a couple seconds. 00:09:23.500 --> 00:09:25.300 You know you can buy this Package 00:09:25.300 --> 00:09:27.500 BUY NOW! You can get the deluxe Model 00:09:27.500 --> 00:09:30.300 which has Grills in it.. stopawkwardhandshakes.org 00:09:30.300 --> 00:09:32.300 I get it.. I'm.. I'm plugging my Show a lil' bit too much 00:09:32.300 --> 00:09:34.300 I'm.. I'm sorry.. I'm not a sellout, okay? 00:09:34.300 --> 00:09:36.300 It's something I believe... 00:09:36.300 --> 00:09:38.300 *video speaking* 00:09:38.300 --> 00:09:40.300 00:09:40.300 --> 00:09:42.300 00:09:42.300 --> 00:09:44.300 There it is... AGAIIIN 00:09:44.300 --> 00:09:45.300 and the guy is like... 00:09:45.300 --> 00:09:46.100 MOTHERFUCKER 00:09:46.200 --> 00:09:47.000 You fucked me... 00:09:47.000 --> 00:09:49.000 You fucked me so hard... 00:09:49.000 --> 00:09:51.000 00:09:51.000 --> 00:09:53.000 EHEHNIYAHAHA 00:09:53.000 --> 00:09:54.000 00:09:54.000 --> 00:09:56.000 You know... If you're gonna be on a Gaming Event.. 00:09:56.000 --> 00:09:58.000 How about you do this.. okay.. 00:09:58.000 --> 00:09:59.000 After the Game is over... 00:09:59.000 --> 00:10:01.000 ... fistbow.... and then what you do.. 00:10:01.000 --> 00:10:03.000 ... after you win.. you go in for the Handshake... 00:10:03.000 --> 00:10:05.000 and basically the other Guy will have to 00:10:05.000 --> 00:10:05.800 just die.. 00:10:05.800 --> 00:10:07.800 I hope you enjoyed this Video and if you did.. 00:10:07.800 --> 00:10:09.800 ... then leave a Like and turn off 00:10:09.800 --> 00:10:11.800 the Ad-Sense.. cause apparently my Ad-Revenue 00:10:11.800 --> 00:10:15.200 was dropping because YouTube doesn't like me anymore. 00:10:15.200 --> 00:10:16.400 So.. ugh.. 00:10:16.400 --> 00:10:18.400 If you could just.. I don't know.. 00:10:18.400 --> 00:10:20.400 ... do something? I dont know... *hehe* 00:10:20.400 --> 00:10:22.000 Jus- 00:10:22.000 --> 00:10:24.400 I'm a greedy... greedy Bastard and I need.. 00:10:24.400 --> 00:10:26.400 ... I need that extra. uhhh.. so 00:10:26.400 --> 00:10:28.400 If you.. if you could drop the.. A... 00:10:28.400 --> 00:10:30.400 A.. A.... A... 00:10:30.400 --> 00:10:32.400 not the.. a... 00:10:32.400 --> 00:10:34.400 *That moment of realization* 00:10:34.400 --> 00:10:36.400 *mouth noise* 00:10:36.400 --> 00:10:38.400 Ad-Sense.. no! AdBlock. *laughs* 00:10:39.300 --> 00:10:41.300 So if you can... *laughs* 00:10:41.300 --> 00:10:43.300 If you can drop the AdBlock.. 00:10:43.300 --> 00:10:45.300 that would just be... ahh.. that'd be great! 00:10:45.300 --> 00:10:47.300 Thank you, thank you, thank you very much! 00:10:48.200 --> 00:10:50.200 And... a... Brofist!