NO
NOOOO
NoOoOo
*reads*
He's found my biggest weakness...
I get at least (what) three or four cringe seizures every day.
It's a condition I suffer from...
a long time...
And I don't appreciate you making fun of me for it, Malcom
I cringe harder than no man has ever cringed.
MY LIFE is a cringe compilation.
You couldn't make me laugh.
Well we'll see about the cringe.....
MAN IN VIDEO: "Helloooo Lee Ann!"
"I was almost gonna call you Lori"
"How could I miss? Oh, it's very easy, you're both very pretty"
"And you have green eyes!"
GIRL: "Blue"
MAN: "Are they– they're not blue! Now don't tell me that"
"Look at me a little closer..."
*Kiss*
"They're green!" *gasping and 'oh!'s from the audience*
"Hahahaha..."
WHAT?
He's clearly a ped-
OH MY GOD
EWWWWW
MAN:"You look like a young woman, who like to
give lots of hugs and kisses out, do you? Eh?" *"Eh?" repeated in slow motion*
Oh God. God!
GIRL: "Not really..." MAN: "Not really?"
They're kids, dude!
*"Not really" repeated in slow motion*
He doesnt- She doesn't want to kiss you,
she's uncomfortable
She's on television.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THI-
MAN: "Can I have a hug and a kiss? I can't have one?
No, you can't. 'Cause you're just...
PEDO MAN: "Even if I say, and whisper in your ear that.."
"..Allison, you're gonna win the show"
IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA!
HE SAYS THAT SHIT!
WHAT.
THE FUCK!
Oh yeah, that's just good ol' Carl.
He kisses the kids. It's... what he does.
MAN: "Well I guess, you can't win the show then. If I don't get a hug and a kiss"
LADY IN THE AUDIENCE: "Dirty old man" MAN: "Yeah, ya hear that?"
Di- did you hear that? She sa–He said–Someone said "dirty old man!"
LADY: "Dirty old man" MAN:"Yeah, you hear that"
MAN: "That's a good answer!"
Don't kiss, please don't kis-
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
OH MY GOD!
If that was my kid, I would go up and punch the shit out of him.
*new video* What is this?
*Loud obnoxious laughter*
What is this? "Laughter Jo- Yoga?"
LADY IN VIDEO: "And I have breast cancer!"
*Louder obnoxious laughing*
*Dying whale noises from Pewds*
LADY: "Very Good! Very Good!"
"Yaaaaaaaaaaay!"
*crying*
(muffled squeaky voice) What the fuck was that...
What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? Wha–
Deal with your problems? Oh my God. What the fuck?
This is the reason coloring book are– books are coming back for adults.
Fucking Jesus Christ, dude. That's–That's depressing and hilarious at the same time. Oh my God.
This is horrible. I can't cringe, man. I can't cringe! Cringe is my weakness...
MAN IN VIDEO: "You're not wearing much in the downstairs department"
BODY BUIDER: "You mean I have a small penis?"
MAN: "No, no–"
Oh my God...
MAN: "No I mean, you're not wearing much"
BODY BUILDER: "Well I haven't got the sock in yet, god dammit, Karen give me the sock"
MAN: "I didn't say you didn't HAVE much, I said you weren't WEARING much"
BODY BUILDER: "I wasn't wearing much? Okay..."
"Bodybuilders are so much bigger, so it's gonna look smaller."
MAN: "No, I didn't say anything about your..."
His Australian accent just makes it so much better.
".. Bodybuilers are so much bigger, so it's gonna look smaller"
Pewds in attempted Australian accent: "Bodybuilders are so much bigga,
so it's gonna look mu– so much smalla"
MAN: "No, I didn't say anything about your penis"
"YOU DID, AND I'VE GOT–IT'S A BIG PENIS, GOD DAMMMIT!"
I would say that was a... quite charming and endearing and the cringe level was not even peaking on Level 2.
Was it embarrassing? Yes. But there is a difference. Cringe and embarrassing? Different things. Next clip.
MAN IN VIDEO: "Terrified by your old car? Are you a-"
First of all, I haven't even watched... I've, I've watched two seconds. C--Why are car salesmen so fucking cringey?
"Do not fear!"
"John Loman here"
"Trade your car in to–"
This is like me fr- mehgdyufishfiuer (BURPS)
Ahh, the cringe is coming out.
This is like me when I did my first YouTube video.
*pauses again* And it's still.. still pretty much spot on me, actually.
"EVERYBODY DRIVES!"
MAN: "I'm John Loman, and I'm a dealer FOR the people!"
Was it shit? Absolutely.
Was it cringey? Just a little bit. But you can tell he's a dad! He gets a free pass, you know?
Who the fuck is this guy? With the glasses? Where the fuck is this guy? I don't–I have a lot of questions.
But the cringe? Mmm mmm (means no). Moving on.
Oh, this is gonna be good.
*reads title of video aloud*
I already love it.
Alright, well, it's got a pretty dope bass line so far.
EMO KID: "So close I can almost touch you
*singing continues* That's a nice katana there on the wall. I can really appreciate a man with a–with a katana.
Collection.
GUY SINGING: "Don't say a thing. If we fly high enough, they can't tear us apart"
"And if we fall–"
"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA"
"*mumbled singing* I'll be Caesar, you'll be Cleopatra"
"–and no one will tell us were wrong"
"WHOOOAOHOH-"
Is he--He's filming Windows Player! He's plfis- he's filming it! He's- you can't do...
Just add the video in, dude! What the fuck! Why would you- .... What happened there? I want to know the story! What the fuck. Just, Oh my God...
Ohhhhh it's so good...
"Vlog it like your name is Shay Carl."
Ohh....
I am not ready for this... GUY IN VIDEO: "I think we're gonna do, the video diary"
GIRL: "Are you ready? 'cause this might get boring..."
*song playing*
SONG: "Hey Shay. It only feels like yesterday, I found your vlogs and smiled my frown away"
*he is so cute OMG*
(Read the lyrics on the video- thats whats playing in the song)
*If you join this dance lesson you'll become a real bro.*
Dude, how many times do you gotta adjust your hair, dude?
Like honestly, I get it. I'll never be this happy, that's why. I'm - I'm jealous.
I'm just a hater, alright?
Don't listen to me.
MAN: "If you did take steroids" "Yeah?" "Would you inject them?"
"Yeah" "Every morning?" "Oh nah, some guys.."
Put it if--If I was to use steroids
"I'd be a very mild user, and I have once"
"would've– if I had've ever tried it I would've tried it once to use a lot and–and didn't really notice a great deal of difference... Do ya know what I mean? But uhm..."
"A lot of women take– WOULD take four to five times the amount that I take."
MAN: "WOULD take?"
BODY BUILDER: "Uh yeah–yeah WOULD take..."
*Pewdiepie sniggering and probably spitting everywhere*
Ugghh
See? Louis is such a pro, 'cause I could not talk to people like this. Like I would just wanna *stumbles over words laughing*
I can't talk to people like this. It doesn't work for me. That's impressive. That's a talent.
Like if DJ Khaled spoke to me,
I don't know how to respond--to pure gibberish. Like what do you say? I don't get it.
"I got so much jerrley. I got more jerrley– and it's not even about the jerrley coz you know-
MAN: "IT'S JEWELRY" KHALED:" Yeah, jerrley. But the end of the day is.."
*sighs* This is hard, man, but I'm really enjoyed it. I'm not gonna lie. I-I-I enjoy the cringe-
*Techno sounds*
GET REKT
That is some fresh memes, dude. Which year is this? 2015. UNFORGIVEABLE!
Long Cat is a fucking meme from, like, 2009!
But I'm not gonna finish this.
Oh my God, what the fuck is this? I clicked a random frame! (ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED)
A random frame! I did not set that up, what the fuck is going on, here? It's people like this that ruin the great name of PewDiePie!
The fuck do you think I am? Full of memes?
What the f- how f.. how dare you... ?
I want this
I want this at my funeral.
I really, honestly do. I'm putting this out here right now, this is official. When I die, play this shit at my funeral.
Please.
GQ. Is this Jaden Smith? KID: "A Lot of people these days talk about the same same thing is because they don't learn anything new. My whole life revolves around educating myself"
What is it about young people? They're SO naïve. Yeah, you're vegan and atheist and you just discovered the world, and everyone else is blind.
"and I leave at 7 am to go to a school that I started with me and my sister where we learn. It's pretty much like homeschooling but..."
You started a school.. *chuckling* But it's pretty much homeschooling.. *chuckles*
Oh, that's rich, man. *really laughs*
Ah, okay
"–my sister where we learn. It's pretty much like homeschooling"
*laughing*
This guy needs to go to school!
This guy needs someone to say to his face, "Dude, you're a fucking idiot." And he'll be like, "Oh yeah."
Okay finally, we have the ultimate cringe site.
I swear to fucking God if it goes to the PewDiePie channel...
*dramatic music*
*dramatic music intensifies*
Oh, it go--oh, it goes to the PewDiePie--that's real funny, you know? *sarcastic laugh*
*depressed sigh*
Alright, bros! What have we learned here today? If you make shitty sh--content, don't upload it to YouTube. I am the worst person in the universe to say that. *laughs*
But anyway, if you enjoyed this video, leave a like, I hope you enjoyed. I had a lot of fun, and would love to do another one of these. Let me know and as always...
STAY AWESOME BROS.
Subtitles by Sans the Pun Master. Stay awesome as always, bros! (The guy in brackets were Subtitled by RhettTheOreo! I love you bros! Stay Awesome!) (Edited by MsEwma)(Edited by Someone__New)