WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: zh-TW

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幹--------

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*奇怪的聲音*

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拉屎

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幹

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可惡

00:00:08.080 --> 00:00:10.080
這個影片還沒到十分鐘

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我他媽的該做什麼？

00:00:11.640 --> 00:00:13.480
現在是他媽的1月

00:00:13.480 --> 00:00:16.160
這裡已經開始缺乏廣告收入了

00:00:16.160 --> 00:00:18.480
我剛要從最好中學習

00:00:18.480 --> 00:00:21.900
好把這個影片延長到10分鐘

00:00:22.420 --> 00:00:27.080
我現在說話很慢...這樣會不會很明顯

00:00:27.080 --> 00:00:28.820
喔---------------

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\\\\\\\\\\喔/////////////

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Leafy...(youtuber)

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影片截圖的大師

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*leafy的開場音樂*

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哇勒靠,這有11秒

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不含內容!!

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老實說這...

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不管這個,這有17分鐘

00:00:45.700 --> 00:00:47.040
不含內容!!

00:00:47.040 --> 00:00:49.320
我只是開-開玩笑的   我是開玩笑的

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Calvin.

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我是開玩笑的

00:00:51.840 --> 00:00:52.340
*咕*

00:00:52.340 --> 00:00:54.180
OK,我懂了  我懂了  我需要

00:00:54.180 --> 00:00:56.280
我需要做開場,我需要把它找回來

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播放開場

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我們影片10分鐘了沒?

00:01:08.840 --> 00:01:09.660
幹

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呃----

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!@#$%^&*(

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OK我懂了

00:01:12.960 --> 00:01:14.060
Casey Niestat(youtuber)

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他做了許多影片的過場畫面

00:01:16.140 --> 00:01:17.120
我們來看一看

00:01:17.120 --> 00:01:22.080
*無意義的過場畫面*

00:01:22.840 --> 00:01:24.240
幹  OK

00:01:24.240 --> 00:01:25.800
只要隨便播點什麼就好

00:01:26.320 --> 00:01:28.060
隨便的狗屁

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庫存的影像素材

00:01:29.380 --> 00:01:29.880
OK?

00:01:38.080 --> 00:01:40.980
我們的影片10分鐘了沒,拜託?

00:01:43.000 --> 00:01:44.580
去他媽的一月

00:01:44.580 --> 00:01:47.040
你有看到廣告收益帶來的影響嗎?

00:01:47.780 --> 00:01:49.000
*呵呃-----------------*

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這很糟,這真的很糟

00:01:50.660 --> 00:01:53.900
如果這狀況持續下去的話,
我必須快點找個新工作

00:01:54.080 --> 00:01:54.580
*彈指*喔

00:01:54.580 --> 00:01:55.520
我知道了!

00:01:55.520 --> 00:01:57.600
在我最後一個影片中,呃

00:01:57.600 --> 00:01:58.220
一一一一一

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別擔心這影片中的指令

00:01:59.940 --> 00:02:01.420
我知道這有點混亂

00:02:01.420 --> 00:02:02.380
*隨便亂講的話*

00:02:02.380 --> 00:02:04.200
但進到昨天的影片

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我說我會把最上面的留言

00:02:06.580 --> 00:02:07.520
最上面的留言

00:02:07.520 --> 00:02:08.640
寫在那個牆上

00:02:08.900 --> 00:02:10.080
現在我還沒確認

00:02:10.080 --> 00:02:10.760
好嗎?

00:02:10.760 --> 00:02:12.060
我還沒確認

00:02:12.060 --> 00:02:13.940
所以現在這可以有多種可能

00:02:13.940 --> 00:02:15.580
來...來看是什麼

00:02:15.580 --> 00:02:16.640
好我有點緊張

00:02:17.300 --> 00:02:21.420
哈囉,隨意看到這則留言的大家,
新年快樂+我愛你:)

00:02:28.340 --> 00:02:29.480
這就是最上面的留言?

00:02:31.300 --> 00:02:32.900
我給你們這幫傢伙許可
*舔嘴唇*

00:02:34.060 --> 00:02:35.700
來寫上他媽的任何東西

00:02:36.160 --> 00:02:37.600
在我的影片背景中

00:02:37.600 --> 00:02:39.700
而最上面的留言是

00:02:40.320 --> 00:02:42.520
他媽的自我推銷的廣告

00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:43.620
我還以為至少

00:02:44.040 --> 00:02:47.580
我...我...我叫你們要好好學習

00:02:47.940 --> 00:02:51.440
然後相信某個隨便的狗屁
他媽的留言說"我愛你"

00:02:51.740 --> 00:02:53.100
這他媽的是什麼意思?

00:02:53.520 --> 00:02:55.680
如果你在街上
看到一個無家可歸的傢伙跟你說"我愛你"

00:02:55.680 --> 00:02:57.800
這完全不代表什麼,
那句話不表示什麼屎

00:02:57.800 --> 00:02:59.900
除非那帶著真正的意義

00:02:59.900 --> 00:03:01.200
是從某個人

00:03:01.200 --> 00:03:04.220
是你尊敬的或至少你他媽的知道他是誰

00:03:04.720 --> 00:03:07.480
現在,不好意思!!我要寫上....

00:03:16.700 --> 00:03:18.960
讓我們回來談談這支影片想說的

00:03:19.060 --> 00:03:20.240
我他媽的不想鳥

00:03:20.480 --> 00:03:21.720
嘿,最近如何

00:03:22.140 --> 00:03:22.640
兄弟們

00:03:23.700 --> 00:03:26.340
歡迎來到另一個原創想法的影片

00:03:26.660 --> 00:03:28.420
試著不要笑(哈)

00:03:28.780 --> 00:03:29.900
我已經失敗了

00:03:30.760 --> 00:03:32.040
但還是有抓住你們

00:03:32.520 --> 00:03:34.660
自從你們這幫兄弟超愛我的鬍子

00:03:34.660 --> 00:03:35.940
順便一提,謝謝你們

00:03:36.420 --> 00:03:39.780
我真的很感謝關於我的新造型
所有好的回饋

00:03:39.780 --> 00:03:41.280
你想,我真的覺得我看起來很酷

00:03:41.840 --> 00:03:42.400
終於

00:03:42.760 --> 00:03:46.200
我找到最酷最適合我個性的造型

00:03:47.160 --> 00:03:48.560
但我猜這大概還不夠好

00:03:48.800 --> 00:03:52.160
所以如果我笑了,我會剃掉我一塊鬍子

00:03:52.300 --> 00:03:53.660
這真的讓我很痛苦

00:03:53.660 --> 00:03:55.660
這會傷到我的核心

00:03:56.420 --> 00:03:57.560
然後如果我剃光了我的鬍子

00:03:57.960 --> 00:03:59.320
我會剃了這隻狗

00:04:01.120 --> 00:04:01.620
*笑*

00:04:02.120 --> 00:04:06.640
*傷心的音樂*

00:04:07.120 --> 00:04:08.000
來吧

00:04:08.640 --> 00:04:09.620
第一個影片

00:04:10.280 --> 00:04:14.400
是一張椅子(天公伯啊那張椅子)

00:04:19.980 --> 00:04:20.880
*忍笑*

00:04:21.900 --> 00:04:25.000
這是那種
你在看之前就知道自己會笑出來的影片

00:04:25.000 --> 00:04:27.060
我不可能看完這個不笑出來

00:04:27.360 --> 00:04:28.820
這只是一小部分

00:04:28.960 --> 00:04:29.620
沒關係

00:04:30.480 --> 00:04:32.120
你看我們都知道哪裡是開頭

00:04:33.860 --> 00:04:36.980
我喜歡,真是一個很好的造型
我希望我再多笑幾次

00:04:37.200 --> 00:04:39.760
*你之前有試過洗鼻器嗎?*

00:04:39.900 --> 00:04:41.600
喔,妳好,ok

00:04:41.600 --> 00:04:44.340
*你之前有試過洗鼻器嗎?*

00:04:44.420 --> 00:04:45.060
我不相信-我

00:04:45.060 --> 00:04:45.780
我的老天

00:04:52.600 --> 00:04:55.020
我現在就他媽的需要用洗鼻器

00:04:55.560 --> 00:04:56.060
呃--

00:05:03.700 --> 00:05:06.300
♪ 而我不想讓世界看到我 ♪

00:05:07.080 --> 00:05:07.920
我沒笑

00:05:07.920 --> 00:05:08.580
非常謝謝你

00:05:09.320 --> 00:05:10.600
下一個

00:05:14.140 --> 00:05:15.920
這是啥?他在幹嘛?

00:05:15.940 --> 00:05:17.540
*你他媽的給我閉上嘴*

00:05:17.540 --> 00:05:19.540
*閉上你的媽的雞掰*

00:05:22.280 --> 00:05:22.780
*閉上*

00:05:29.860 --> 00:05:30.360
*閉上*

00:05:30.540 --> 00:05:32.720
喔...不!不!這是

00:05:33.160 --> 00:05:34.040
結束後的笑

00:05:34.120 --> 00:05:35.240
這不算

00:05:35.240 --> 00:05:36.400
(念標題)我的貓瘋了

00:05:38.560 --> 00:05:40.000
*玻璃碎裂聲*

00:05:44.640 --> 00:05:45.140
我沒笑

00:05:45.840 --> 00:05:47.260
*玻璃碎裂聲*

00:05:48.560 --> 00:05:51.960
第一,為何你在錄影?你的貓在他媽的花園別墅?

00:05:52.200 --> 00:05:52.760
第二,

00:05:53.880 --> 00:05:54.920
這是三小?(笑)

00:05:55.380 --> 00:05:56.820
*玻璃碎裂聲*

00:05:56.820 --> 00:05:58.720
貓去哪了?

00:05:58.720 --> 00:06:00.880
到底是什麼對這隻貓這麼重要?

00:06:02.120 --> 00:06:03.920
為何我覺得我是Ray William Johnson(網路紅人)

00:06:04.040 --> 00:06:05.740
在分析一團他媽的狗屎

00:06:08.620 --> 00:06:10.300
呃..我們到這

00:06:10.480 --> 00:06:11.440
我有點喜歡

00:06:11.940 --> 00:06:12.900
你喜歡嗎?( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

00:06:16.300 --> 00:06:16.800
(譯者:反同人士?)

00:06:17.800 --> 00:06:18.800
*吸鼻*

00:06:18.840 --> 00:06:19.480
繼續

00:06:19.680 --> 00:06:24.800
*我們要來訪問Erik Weihenmayer 
他爬了世上最高的山-聖母峰,但--*

00:06:25.180 --> 00:06:25.680
呃

00:06:26.360 --> 00:06:27.160
*他是同性戀*

00:06:27.160 --> 00:06:29.800
*我是說-他是同性戀,不好意思他是失明的*
(註:同性戀跟失明的英文唸起來有87分像)

00:06:29.840 --> 00:06:30.400
*關於這件事*

00:06:38.780 --> 00:06:40.060
我不想笑

00:06:43.700 --> 00:06:44.660
喔,他媽的

00:06:45.660 --> 00:06:52.700
*我們要來訪問Erik Weihenmayer 
他爬了世上最高的山-聖母峰,但他是同性戀*

00:06:53.180 --> 00:06:53.820
但他是..

00:06:54.160 --> 00:06:54.720
同性戀...

00:06:57.240 --> 00:06:59.240
(念標題)女孩哭得像賽車

00:07:00.240 --> 00:07:01.680
*嘿抱歉沒接到你電話*

00:07:02.180 --> 00:07:02.740
*呃...*

00:07:03.420 --> 00:07:04.360
*我只是回撥給你...*

00:07:04.420 --> 00:07:04.940
*呃....*

00:07:05.440 --> 00:07:06.880
*讓你知道我....*

00:07:07.260 --> 00:07:07.940
喔不...*我愛你*

00:07:08.620 --> 00:07:09.620
*還有我想你*

00:07:10.140 --> 00:07:11.700
*開始哭得像賽車*

00:07:11.700 --> 00:07:13.200
(忍笑)

00:07:16.720 --> 00:07:19.740
*我真的--我真的希望你回撥給我*

00:07:19.740 --> 00:07:23.300
*再哭*

00:07:23.700 --> 00:07:25.700
*我真的很抱歉沒接到你電話*

00:07:25.700 --> 00:07:26.940
*然後我--我--ㄨ*

00:07:26.940 --> 00:07:28.940
*我知道你結束了*

00:07:28.940 --> 00:07:32.040
*所以-所以當你接到這個留言時請回撥給我*

00:07:32.040 --> 00:07:34.040
*哭哭Q____Q*

00:07:35.200 --> 00:07:35.860
*我愛你*

00:07:36.320 --> 00:07:37.440
*還有我想你*

00:07:37.700 --> 00:07:40.460
*Q___________________Q*

00:07:43.180 --> 00:07:43.900
下個影片

00:07:44.160 --> 00:07:45.840
*你為何在看這個??*

00:07:47.020 --> 00:07:48.900
*拜託別跟媽說Q____Q*

00:07:52.640 --> 00:07:54.080
這些影片真的很讚

00:07:54.080 --> 00:07:56.020
真的很棒的剪輯

00:07:57.400 --> 00:07:58.580
*你為何在看這個??*

00:07:58.580 --> 00:08:01.400
他們只是瞎了,只是瞎了,別擔心

00:08:01.980 --> 00:08:04.080
看瞎子並沒有錯!

00:08:08.960 --> 00:08:09.660
嗯-------------

00:08:10.400 --> 00:08:12.400
太早接觸色情小說的迷妹

00:08:12.400 --> 00:08:14.400
(笑)

00:08:18.700 --> 00:08:19.200
去他的

00:08:19.480 --> 00:08:20.760
好吧,這很值得

00:08:21.020 --> 00:08:21.980
這很值得

00:08:24.100 --> 00:08:24.600
喔不

00:08:25.820 --> 00:08:26.980
*ok,我想告訴你一個小秘密*

00:08:27.620 --> 00:08:28.500
喔,好啊

00:08:28.500 --> 00:08:30.980
*我從美國軍隊中學到的技能*

00:08:30.980 --> 00:08:31.480
太好了

00:08:31.840 --> 00:08:33.800
*他總是說,你知道的..*

00:08:34.080 --> 00:08:36.480
*在戰爭的情形中,魔鬼氈的聲音*

00:08:36.960 --> 00:08:38.480
*你可以在一英里外聽到這聲音*

00:08:38.480 --> 00:08:41.020
*而大家都知道這是魔鬼氈的聲音*

00:08:41.300 --> 00:08:42.100
這是真的

00:08:44.580 --> 00:08:46.740
*現在我有個魔鬼氈*

00:08:46.740 --> 00:08:48.940
*這聲音會讓你在戰場上...*

00:08:50.900 --> 00:08:51.400
然後....

00:08:52.040 --> 00:08:52.540
所以..他教我

00:08:53.860 --> 00:08:58.340
*所以有一個方法讓你撕魔鬼氈時不會有人聽到*
pewds:我已經笑了

00:08:58.860 --> 00:08:59.560
好,那是如何?

00:08:59.620 --> 00:09:04.840
*這真的很快,我拿了最好的魔鬼氈我可以拿的*

00:09:05.120 --> 00:09:06.940
這是好笑的影片嗎?
*這就是他教我的...*

00:09:07.220 --> 00:09:07.760
OK...

00:09:08.400 --> 00:09:08.960
*啊!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

00:09:11.480 --> 00:09:12.040
(笑)

00:09:14.160 --> 00:09:16.300
呵呃---------啊哈哈哈

00:09:19.700 --> 00:09:25.560
把你的手臂朝45度抬起,接著舉起你的手越遠越...

00:09:25.560 --> 00:09:26.300
來吧

00:09:26.660 --> 00:09:27.620
我想是時候了

00:09:28.300 --> 00:09:59.920
\剃掉/\剃掉/\剃掉/\剃掉/\剃掉/

00:10:00.320 --> 00:10:01.120
好了,好...

00:10:01.340 --> 00:10:04.540
這就是"試著不要笑"挑戰   鬍子版

00:10:04.840 --> 00:10:05.820
如果你喜歡這個影片

00:10:05.820 --> 00:10:07.180
我想你一定很享受

00:10:07.180 --> 00:10:07.740
這一個

00:10:08.580 --> 00:10:10.340
這就是你想看的下一個影片

00:10:10.340 --> 00:10:12.340
所以快確定你有點這裡

00:10:12.340 --> 00:10:13.840
來看另一個影片

00:10:13.840 --> 00:10:15.840
喔男孩,這是我最愛的一個

00:10:15.840 --> 00:10:16.600
這是什麼?

00:10:16.600 --> 00:10:18.600
喔你已經點了

00:10:18.600 --> 00:10:20.600
那我為何在這.....?