WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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♫ I never thought, my life could be ♫

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OH MY GOD

00:00:05.720 --> 00:00:09.600
♫ Because I've got a golden ticket ♫

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Oh my God

00:00:11.660 --> 00:00:19.960
♫ I've got a golden twinkle in my eye ♫

00:00:21.400 --> 00:00:23.160
Today I am so excited

00:00:23.280 --> 00:00:25.240
♫ I've got a golden ticket ♫

00:00:25.320 --> 00:00:29.560
Uh.. Nintendo has given me this unique opportunity

00:00:29.600 --> 00:00:32.280
Uh to play the new Zelda game

00:00:32.320 --> 00:00:36.460
I got this tweet from Shigeru Miyamoto

00:00:36.500 --> 00:00:40.420
"Yo PewDiePie love your bomb ass video,

00:00:40.420 --> 00:00:42.640
almost as much as I love cocaine and women"

00:00:42.700 --> 00:00:46.860
"here's the latest build of the Zelda game I hope you like it"

00:00:46.940 --> 00:00:48.200
You guys know me

00:00:48.260 --> 00:00:51.960
I am the biggest Legend of Zelda fan, EVER!

00:00:51.960 --> 00:00:55.820
like if you watch other Zelda fans on YouTube, Fuck 'em

00:00:55.820 --> 00:00:59.880
so im so excited to play the NEW Legend of Zelda game

00:00:59.920 --> 00:01:01.060
I've been waiting for this

00:01:01.300 --> 00:01:02.340
Oh My God, it looks

00:01:03.020 --> 00:01:04.560
here we go, oh my god

00:01:07.780 --> 00:01:10.600
it's a, it's a, it's a Zelda game coz it's trade marked

00:01:11.560 --> 00:01:17.820
*low quality music plays*

00:01:18.140 --> 00:01:20.580
really good choice of menu music

00:01:20.580 --> 00:01:22.580
*MUSIC INTENSIFIES*

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o o o ooooo oohhh

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*girl* But father what it something happens to you

00:01:27.200 --> 00:01:30.200
*dad* I will take the triforce of courage to protect me

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*dad* if you don't hear from me in a month, send Link

00:01:32.900 --> 00:01:33.400
*PewDiePie* Laughs

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*Link* oh boy I'm so ...

00:01:35.680 --> 00:01:38.040
*pewdiepie* Oh My God, Link, is he wearing lipstick

00:01:39.280 --> 00:01:40.060
is that a butt hole

00:01:40.060 --> 00:01:41.000
that's Links butt hole

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*narrator* first move the triforce to pick a place on the map

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what the ...

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*narrator* then press button 1

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I'll fly there in a flash

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shh, well she, oh Zelda can fly now!?

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this is the real Ninten-

00:01:52.580 --> 00:01:55.120
*narrator* move the controller to move me left or right

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Great

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*narrator* up and over makes me leap

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where's the button to kill yourself

00:02:00.380 --> 00:02:02.620
*narrator* luckily i brought my smart sword

00:02:02.620 --> 00:02:04.140
it won't hurt anyone friendly

00:02:04.680 --> 00:02:06.920
*pewdiepie* smart sword what is this an iPhone, what the fuck

00:02:06.920 --> 00:02:07.860
*old man* course I'm on your side

00:02:08.020 --> 00:02:08.520
WOW

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*old man* but I still have to sell the stuff

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alright now we know how to play

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Oh God

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*more low quality music plays*

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the music

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I love it

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It's the best

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err lets do, what's the difference between start game and new game

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ok

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new game please

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ok, ahh how about we go to Aru Ainu

00:02:29.680 --> 00:02:32.500
Hey we are in Africa *laughs*

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What happened?

00:02:38.660 --> 00:02:41.060
they really stuffed up the graphics on the Nintendo Switch

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OH MY GOD its...

00:02:43.740 --> 00:02:44.620
The lion king character, What ever

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The resolution is incredible, the frame rate is so smooth

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This is unlike any gaming experience

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I have ever experienced

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And you know I always give you honest reviews

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Like what I..

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If I don't like something, I'll tell, I'll be sure to tell you guys

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I'll be the first one to say it

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ahh, also full disclosure this is a sponsored video by Nintendo

00:03:06.200 --> 00:03:09.640
they are paying for this review, A lot-a lot of money

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When I asked them to send me a switch

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They did not just

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Not reply at all

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and tell me to fuck off-

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What the fuck happened there

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My left ear is uh - really enjoying..

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This.

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This is great

00:03:22.860 --> 00:03:24.380
It's a bit- Oh, oh shit!

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Oh my god

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Oh my god

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It didn't die.

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Great

00:03:30.080 --> 00:03:33.460
I always love how Nintendo always innovates-, comes up with new

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Y'know they don't put graphics first, it's not about the graphics (obvious sarcasm)

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It's about the gameplay

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It's always been about the gameplay

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*low quality sword swing noise*

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Let's run away from these- oh ok

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Now we can go here?

00:03:45.780 --> 00:03:46.580
Excellent.

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Hey(a), it's granna.

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Granny

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I killed her.

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Wow, that was fun.

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*dying hyena*

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*more LQ sword slashing*

00:04:04.760 --> 00:04:05.960
what's happening

00:04:07.240 --> 00:04:10.040
Woman: "Hello Deary, oh just a minute."

00:04:10.040 --> 00:04:11.800
*woman speaks russian or some shit i dont speak cyka blyat*

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I love her smile

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*Laughs* She's so happy about the blanket

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*LQ sword slashing*

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Woah

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I can shoot blankets now thanks to Granny!

00:04:21.980 --> 00:04:23.520
She gave me the blanket sword

00:04:23.520 --> 00:04:25.740
I shoot blankets now through my sword

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I love Legend of Zelda it's my favourite game

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Okay we are done here

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We are done here we have the blanket sword

00:04:33.800 --> 00:04:35.640
Now, we can go to Tokyo Tower

00:04:35.640 --> 00:04:37.440
No, actually we're gonna go to uh

00:04:38.540 --> 00:04:39.260
uh. Sakado

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Shoot the blankets

00:04:42.360 --> 00:04:42.920
Block it

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Bring it, dinosaur rat

00:04:46.900 --> 00:04:47.400
Block it

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Shoot the blanket

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Fuck.

00:04:50.580 --> 00:04:52.740
You're not gonna get me this time

00:04:56.920 --> 00:04:58.200
Fucking dinosaurs

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Why am I not shooting blankets

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There it is!

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Excellent.

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Having a lot of fun.

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Hey, it's Christopher Lloyd!

00:05:09.420 --> 00:05:10.700
Thanks for sharing, Christopher

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Woman: "Sorry, Zelda."

00:05:11.980 --> 00:05:12.600
*cash cash get bitches money sound effect*

00:05:12.680 --> 00:05:14.120
"Not enough rupees."

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What is with the fucking character movements

00:05:18.520 --> 00:05:19.100
It's like

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*dick up ass*

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OF COUUURRRRSEEE *laughs*

00:05:21.900 --> 00:05:25.440
"You'll have to wipe out a few more enemies to get that."

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Ok, now we got the rope, we got the lantern

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Let's get out of here

00:05:31.420 --> 00:05:37.100
Oh man, you just have to appreciate the vastness of the universe in the Legend of Zelda

00:05:37.280 --> 00:05:38.240
uhhh gameplay

00:05:38.860 --> 00:05:39.360
its uh

00:05:39.720 --> 00:05:40.920
it - it inspires me

00:05:41.700 --> 00:05:44.500
it really does, it really does inspire me-

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Let's go to kobitan

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How is this guy doin'

00:05:48.560 --> 00:05:49.060
Wha-

00:05:49.060 --> 00:05:51.020
You're just going to ignore me like that?

00:05:51.600 --> 00:05:52.800
Come back here boi

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Where's he going

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Oh!

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Fuck

00:05:59.380 --> 00:06:00.420
Take blankets!

00:06:02.820 --> 00:06:03.540
Fuck, okay

00:06:03.720 --> 00:06:04.440
This is bad

00:06:04.440 --> 00:06:05.280
Aight let's go in here

00:06:05.280 --> 00:06:09.440
Honestly I think this might be one of the best Zeldas out there

00:06:09.440 --> 00:06:13.260
Everyone keeps talking about the Ocarina of Time like it's

00:06:13.340 --> 00:06:15.580
a classic, it's never gonna get better

00:06:15.660 --> 00:06:18.060
I don't wanna say it too soon, y'know

00:06:18.060 --> 00:06:20.820
I've only been playing for a few minutes but I really do think

00:06:21.280 --> 00:06:21.780
Shit

00:06:22.400 --> 00:06:24.400
I think this one has potential

00:06:24.400 --> 00:06:26.320
I think we have a new champion, is what I'm saying

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What the fuck, where-

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Fucking demon from hell

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Okay

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Ooh! Hey

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I didn't realise how thick Zelda was

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Doin' pretty well here.

00:06:37.320 --> 00:06:39.820
Zelda looks like she ate something really bad

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I gotta say, I really like her

00:06:41.840 --> 00:06:44.000
the art direction they went with

00:06:44.000 --> 00:06:45.860
Cool so now we can go in here and uh

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Talk to this- Hey, how ya doin'?

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"Those darn enemies have eaten everything"

00:06:51.200 --> 00:06:53.360
"I'd give anything for a steak!"

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Pixar

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Pixar needs to hire the animators

00:06:59.560 --> 00:07:02.200
this is the new generation of animation

00:07:02.280 --> 00:07:04.920
look at their faces, their expressions

00:07:04.920 --> 00:07:06.560
Hey, Is That The Swedish Flag?

00:07:06.560 --> 00:07:10.520
Finally! Hey Shigeru Miyamoto, you crazy bastard,

00:07:10.520 --> 00:07:13.320
You put that little reference in there for me

00:07:13.320 --> 00:07:13.900
Thank you

00:07:14.060 --> 00:07:15.180
Thank you so much

00:07:15.320 --> 00:07:16.840
That's very kind of you

00:07:18.280 --> 00:07:20.520
Great, I guess now we go to Abitaru

00:07:21.020 --> 00:07:22.300
The fucking desert

00:07:24.780 --> 00:07:26.380
When do I play as Link? I-

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I don't, I don't know

00:07:29.660 --> 00:07:30.460
Link is busy

00:07:31.300 --> 00:07:31.860
Fucking

00:07:31.860 --> 00:07:32.460
There we go

00:07:32.900 --> 00:07:34.740
Great, fuckin' mosquitoes

00:07:34.740 --> 00:07:35.980
Great. *exhaling pure depression*

00:07:35.980 --> 00:07:38.780
It feels so good to play a Legend of Zelda game again

00:07:38.780 --> 00:07:41.120
It really reminds me of why I love video games

00:07:41.600 --> 00:07:42.100
and why

00:07:43.540 --> 00:07:45.380
*autistic moment*

00:07:46.080 --> 00:07:48.720
Nintendo always seizes to amaze me with

00:07:48.720 --> 00:07:49.860
their innovation

00:07:49.860 --> 00:07:53.360
Some would criticise them and say they're trying too hard

00:07:53.520 --> 00:07:54.560
to innovate and

00:07:56.980 --> 00:07:57.780
I, I say, uhh

00:07:59.480 --> 00:08:00.840
I say they are haters

00:08:01.560 --> 00:08:02.920
Disgusting haters.

00:08:03.700 --> 00:08:05.460
And they don't understand

00:08:06.800 --> 00:08:07.760
Zelda like I do

00:08:09.540 --> 00:08:11.220
No one understands Zelda

00:08:12.840 --> 00:08:15.000
Let's go in here that seems great

00:08:17.120 --> 00:08:18.480
HOLYSHIT it's a crab

00:08:19.120 --> 00:08:19.620
Great

00:08:19.620 --> 00:08:20.480
Glad we did that

00:08:21.900 --> 00:08:23.180
Can the crab be killed?

00:08:23.180 --> 00:08:23.680
Yes it can

00:08:24.280 --> 00:08:25.020
Excellent.

00:08:25.020 --> 00:08:27.580
We killed the crab everyone. I repeat,

00:08:27.900 --> 00:08:28.940
The crab is dead

00:08:33.660 --> 00:08:35.100
*swedish man laughs*

00:08:36.600 --> 00:08:37.100
No

00:08:37.620 --> 00:08:39.220
Oh shit I can walk up here

00:08:40.040 --> 00:08:41.240
Oh for fuck's sake

00:08:43.440 --> 00:08:44.400
*releases nut, yelling*

00:08:46.560 --> 00:08:47.060
Please

00:08:48.080 --> 00:08:49.040
Make this jump

00:08:52.460 --> 00:08:53.820
Okay, make this jump

00:08:53.820 --> 00:08:54.800
For fuck's sake

00:08:55.220 --> 00:08:55.780
Fuck off

00:08:56.840 --> 00:08:57.960
They keep comin'

00:09:03.100 --> 00:09:03.600
Jump

00:09:04.440 --> 00:09:05.560
It's impossible

00:09:05.560 --> 00:09:06.500
The jump is impossible

00:09:06.620 --> 00:09:10.780
I can definitely see myself sinking 6,000 hours into this game

00:09:10.780 --> 00:09:12.740
I really wanna max out all the characters,

00:09:12.740 --> 00:09:13.740
Do all the sidequests,

00:09:14.460 --> 00:09:17.340
and of course, pay for the hard mode later on

00:09:17.640 --> 00:09:18.140
the DLC

00:09:18.140 --> 00:09:19.420
I really look forward

00:09:20.160 --> 00:09:23.120
to pay for something that should just be free

00:09:25.460 --> 00:09:25.960
YES!

00:09:26.900 --> 00:09:27.400
HELLYE

00:09:27.640 --> 00:09:29.720
Woman: "Nice job over the pit!"

00:09:29.880 --> 00:09:31.320
"Here, have a drink!"

00:09:31.320 --> 00:09:32.140
Zelda: "Thanks."

00:09:32.340 --> 00:09:34.600
Yeah, I jumped over that fucking shit

00:09:35.000 --> 00:09:35.500
"Thanks!"

00:09:35.840 --> 00:09:36.580
JESUS

00:09:36.740 --> 00:09:39.800
Now if my theory is correct, we need to blow up this bomb

00:09:40.880 --> 00:09:41.680
I mean, rock

00:09:42.080 --> 00:09:43.120
How do we do that

00:09:43.160 --> 00:09:43.880
Excellent

00:09:44.200 --> 00:09:44.700
Now, go

00:09:46.080 --> 00:09:48.080
Great, we have one more chance

00:09:49.700 --> 00:09:51.140
It didn't do anything

00:09:51.140 --> 00:09:53.060
It didn't do anythign *sobs in swedish*

00:09:53.600 --> 00:09:54.880
Man: "Have mercy!"

00:09:54.880 --> 00:09:59.680
King: "After you've scrubbed all the floors in Hyrule, then we can talk about mercy"

00:10:00.260 --> 00:10:01.940
So, when you beat the game

00:10:01.940 --> 00:10:04.340
You kinda wonder, what happened to Link

00:10:06.140 --> 00:10:07.740
Link: "What happened?"

00:10:07.740 --> 00:10:09.060
*swedish man's last breath (colourised, 1940)*

00:10:10.360 --> 00:10:12.840
*distorted yelling* What happened?

00:10:13.620 --> 00:10:16.160
*Laughing*

00:10:18.500 --> 00:10:19.380
Jesus Christ

00:10:19.860 --> 00:10:22.820
You know, this may be a biased review because

00:10:22.820 --> 00:10:24.160
I am such a huge Legend of Zelda fan

00:10:24.160 --> 00:10:24.800
This is it

00:10:25.220 --> 00:10:26.100
Go out and buy

00:10:26.640 --> 00:10:28.160
The Nintendo switch right now

00:10:28.160 --> 00:10:29.460
It's gonna change gaming forever

00:10:29.520 --> 00:10:30.640
It is incredible

00:10:32.140 --> 00:10:33.420
It is breathtaking

00:10:36.600 --> 00:10:39.800
Now excuse me, I have to leave because I wanna die

00:10:39.800 --> 00:10:41.440
I wanna die a horrible death

00:10:42.700 --> 00:10:45.380
It's the only cure for what I've just witnessed

00:10:45.780 --> 00:10:47.060
So I'll see you in uh

00:10:47.440 --> 00:10:47.940
Never

00:10:47.940 --> 00:10:49.640
But here's another video anyway

00:10:50.260 --> 00:10:52.820
and just check that out if you like that

00:10:53.520 --> 00:10:57.040
Thanks again to Nintendo for letting me play the game

00:10:57.100 --> 00:10:59.740
Really appreciate it, thank you so much

00:10:59.740 --> 00:11:00.960
Love you guys so much

00:11:01.520 --> 00:11:02.580
and uh

00:11:02.960 --> 00:11:03.460
heil