WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en-GB 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:08.000 *Sad music* 00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:09.000 UGH! 00:00:12.400 --> 00:00:13.300 I don't believe it 00:00:15.400 --> 00:00:17.200 How could this happen to me? 00:00:21.200 --> 00:00:25.400 BTS...They unfollowed me! 00:00:28.200 --> 00:00:30.420 Why-are we still here? 00:00:30.420 --> 00:00:38.800 *background* Just to suffer. Every night, I can feel my leg and my arm *background monologue continues* 00:00:38.800 --> 00:00:44.700 They used to follow me! What-what happ-that was wrong 00:00:45.700 --> 00:00:46.700 What happened? 00:00:48.020 --> 00:00:49.600 What did I do wrong? 00:00:51.660 --> 00:00:53.200 WHAT DID I DOOOO? D,X 00:00:54.260 --> 00:01:02.700 WHY DID YOU FOLLOW ME IN THE FIRST PLACE IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO UNFOLLOW ME AFTERWARDS?! 00:01:03.920 --> 00:01:07.900 WHAT THE FUUUCK AAGH 00:01:12.980 --> 00:01:16.500 I'm going to have to read the Reddit roast to feel better about myself. 00:01:20.800 --> 00:01:23.000 This is the lowest point of my fucking life. 00:01:23.480 --> 00:01:25.300 This is the-it doesn't get worse. 00:01:27.160 --> 00:01:30.400 Okay, let's do this. *Airhorn* 00:01:30.540 --> 00:01:35.980 I am the perfect man. There's nothing to roast about. But let's just see it anyway. 00:01:36.420 --> 00:01:40.100 To see what you guys said. 00:01:40.640 --> 00:01:42.500 What kind of mean things you guys said 00:01:42.600 --> 00:01:50.400 Okay well here, here first of all, I apparently did it wrong; you're not supposed to use the phones and tablets. 00:01:50.680 --> 00:01:53.260 Okay here's the first one, 14,000 points: 00:01:53.260 --> 00:02:07.000 "Judging from the quality of this thread I think you're going to struggle to make this video...10..." 00:02:07.100 --> 00:02:09.900 You don't know how long this video is going to be. 00:02:09.900 --> 00:02:11.900 "He's going to read it slow" 00:02:12.840 --> 00:02:14.180 No I'm not... 00:02:14.180 --> 00:02:16.400 "And repeat at different volumes and levels-" 00:02:16.400 --> 00:02:21.100 God-oh, you think you know everything, do you. You think you know ever-oh, okay. 00:02:21.100 --> 00:02:26.400 That's great he has a sound board for-SHUT UP *airhorn* 00:02:26.400 --> 00:02:33.300 "If he reads this comment chain in the video, he will do exactly what we're describing but exaggerate in an attempt to mock us." 00:02:34.220 --> 00:02:36.000 Oh you think you know everything, huh? 00:02:36.000 --> 00:02:41.200 "That phase when not sure if fans providing content or haters trying to actually roast" 00:02:41.300 --> 00:02:41.800 EH 00:02:41.800 --> 00:02:45.000 Good job. Good job. You know what? I appreciate the 10 minutes. 00:02:45.000 --> 00:02:47.300 How long are we? How long are we into this? 00:02:48.520 --> 00:02:49.200 Um 00:02:49.500 --> 00:02:54.000 "Let's give him something to speak about. Hey Pewds, try making a video on how you felt when Wall Street Journal 00:02:54.000 --> 00:02:58.500 and Disney made you cry one camera to 12 years olds for their support." 00:02:59.020 --> 00:03:04.780 Well, I guess that means you're 12, because you watched it. Ha, can't argue with facts. 00:03:05.280 --> 00:03:08.700 Straight up...disproving your point. 00:03:09.460 --> 00:03:10.500 Fucking got 'em 00:03:10.500 --> 00:03:14.000 "He'll doing like every other video" 00:03:14.000 --> 00:03:19.300 Well, I cant fucking understand you, so, roast declined. Got 'em. 00:03:19.840 --> 00:03:23.600 *Airhorn**Jackspedicey scream* 00:03:23.600 --> 00:03:32.160 "I miss"-HAHAHA-"I miss 2006 Pewdiepie, when you didn't have a youtube channel." 00:03:34.580 --> 00:03:37.300 WELL JOKE'S ON YOU BITCH, CAUSE I DID! 00:03:37.300 --> 00:03:45.600 And it was called youtube.com/pewdie Disproven! 2016! Disproven! 00:03:45.600 --> 00:03:48.400 Can't argue with facts! Fuck you! 00:03:48.500 --> 00:03:54.100 "Leave this guy-leave the guy alone. It must be hard when every time you go to someone else's house- 00:03:54.100 --> 00:04:01.600 -You expect to see Chris Hanen asking you to take a seat and question why you spend all day talking to kids on youtube." 00:04:04.520 --> 00:04:12.300 ONLY KIDS WATCH PEWDIEPIE HAHAHAHAHHAA Oh, that's fuckin-shut up. 00:04:18.320 --> 00:04:19.800 Anyway, I don't care. Whatever. 00:04:19.900 --> 00:04:25.200 Listen, you guys don't understand. BTS unfollowed me on twitter. Words can't hurt me anymore. 00:04:25.300 --> 00:04:29.500 I have already broken and I can't be fixed. 00:04:29.960 --> 00:04:34.600 Sticks and stones, uh, BTS unfollows. 00:04:34.600 --> 00:04:42.000 *BTS music playing in background* 00:04:42.000 --> 00:04:45.400 Ruined. It's ruined-you ruined-RUINED! 00:04:45.400 --> 00:04:48.000 "Your channel peaked when you didn't have face cam" 00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:52.800 Oh yeah, well joke's on you, cause fuck you. There ya go You're welcome. 00:04:53.120 --> 00:04:57.000 Weak. Weak. These roasts are weak. 00:04:57.000 --> 00:05:02.260 Roasts? More like..."hey, did someone turn up the AC a little bit?" 00:05:04.220 --> 00:05:05.640 Yeah, I laugh at my own ones, so shut up 00:05:05.640 --> 00:05:10.600 "You look like the only man in the world who actually managed to grow his virginity back" 00:05:10.600 --> 00:05:13.800 "And that's assuming somehow he lost it in the first place" 00:05:13.800 --> 00:05:20.200 OH SHIT I'M A VIRGIN By the way, none of your concern, but I put my penis in many places. 00:05:20.580 --> 00:05:23.600 Uh, that you don't have to worry-you don't have to worry about it, okay? 00:05:23.600 --> 00:05:29.600 "As you get older and your face settles into adult looks, you're going from 'cute young Swede'- 00:05:30.100 --> 00:05:33.600 -to 'Lurch from the Addams family' at an incredible rate" 00:05:33.600 --> 00:05:36.100 Wait, who's Lurch? I don't know who Lurch is. 00:05:39.140 --> 00:05:45.700 AHAHA I see it, I 100% see it. What the fuck? God damnit 00:05:47.980 --> 00:05:51.160 Reading: "You ruined more 12 year olds than the Catholic Church" 00:05:53.860 --> 00:05:59.640 Hey man. That's low for the Catholic Church, man Come on. Let em alone. 00:05:59.640 --> 00:06:05.060 "The creativity for the roasts in this comment section is on par with the creativity on your channel" 00:06:05.060 --> 00:06:07.820 *Airhorn* Yes. 00:06:07.820 --> 00:06:14.700 "Your content reminds me of IKEA: simply, cheaply made, and put together quickly with no real effort" 00:06:16.560 --> 00:06:20.160 Ah, that's good. That one was good. I'll give you that one. 00:06:20.960 --> 00:06:25.040 You know what? I love IKEA and I'll take it. You know what? I'll take it. 00:06:26.520 --> 00:06:29.040 It's surprisingly accurate as well. 00:06:29.300 --> 00:06:33.640 "To be fair, it can't be easy to think of fresh content this many years into the game" 00:06:33.640 --> 00:06:39.880 *Airhorn* That's fucking right! I wanna see you try doing an upload daily videos every single God damn day, okay? 00:06:39.880 --> 00:06:45.000 Yeah, I think I've done a lot of great videos. Of course some of them aren't gonna be top notch. 00:06:45.000 --> 00:06:46.600 But at least I fucking try. 00:06:46.600 --> 00:06:52.700 I try at least, okay? I fucking try. I try my best. What am I supposed to do? *BURP* 00:06:52.700 --> 00:06:59.200 If I don't upload videos daily, people be like "he's lazy now!" but if I don't, if I upload videos daily, 00:06:59.200 --> 00:07:05.000 People are like "he's running out of ideas!" I can't wait, no matter what I do, there's no win! 00:07:05.500 --> 00:07:08.060 Except if I do the videos 10 minutes 00:07:10.200 --> 00:07:13.500 Cause the ads. The ads always win. 00:07:16.000 --> 00:07:23.980 Why are we still here? Just to suffer. Every night, I feel my leg. 00:07:23.980 --> 00:07:26.540 "I'm not giving you free content, you lazy cunt." 00:07:26.700 --> 00:07:31.720 Well you just did. *airhorn* Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 00:07:31.720 --> 00:07:33.600 *Applause* Thank you, I appreciate it. Thank you. 00:07:33.600 --> 00:07:41.640 I like this one. "Low budget filthy frank" okay yeah, I heard it a million times. "Higher budget, still worse" 00:07:42.480 --> 00:07:45.240 "Ever since you bleached you hair, you look like a lesbian." 00:07:46.480 --> 00:07:51.100 Uh, well I mean I guess that's true. 00:07:51.220 --> 00:07:59.460 Hey, it's a bleach joke, everyone. It's a drinking bleach joke, everyone. Ha-top of the morning to you laddies 00:08:00.940 --> 00:08:03.120 Drink bleach and kill yourself, man! 00:08:03.200 --> 00:08:10.040 AHAHA "The humor of Amy Schumer with a personality of Cameron Diaz." 00:08:10.620 --> 00:08:14.700 *Airhorn* Thank you guys, thank you. 'Preciate it. 00:08:14.700 --> 00:08:19.400 All right, well it looks like that's uh, that's uh the roast. Good job everyone. 00:08:19.920 --> 00:08:24.520 Thank you reddit for roasting me. I appreciate you taking the time. I feel honored. 00:08:25.340 --> 00:08:31.880 Um, I feel honored to be uh slightly, "heated up", I think is more like the term. 00:08:33.360 --> 00:08:39.380 BTS unfollowed me. And nothing else is ever going to hurt that much. It's not your fault, Reddit. 00:08:40.200 --> 00:08:51.280 It's BTS. Okay? You gave it your best shot, but nothing will ever hurt as much as BTS unfollowing me on twitter. 00:08:52.160 --> 00:08:56.160 Why am I still here? God fucking damnit. 00:08:57.460 --> 00:09:01.780 What did I do wrong. I make a video praising them, saying I love them. 00:09:01.780 --> 00:09:06.260 I wanna be them. I wanna marry them. But apparently not good enough! 00:09:12.900 --> 00:09:13.820 Is the video 10 minutes yet? 00:09:13.820 --> 00:09:37.000 *Relaxing music for the sole purpose of subtlely elongating the video to 10 minutes* 00:09:37.000 --> 00:09:59.000 Almost there... 00:09:59.000 --> 00:10:00.040 Aw yiss...