WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

00:00:00.040 --> 00:00:01.960
Pewdiepie.

00:00:02.360 --> 00:00:04.440
A man with many talents.

00:00:04.960 --> 00:00:10.340
screaming, ehhhhh bad handshakes, hate for Norway...

00:00:10.340 --> 00:00:13.860
but also I have yet to reveal my...

00:00:13.860 --> 00:00:15.210
greatest talent.

00:00:15.210 --> 00:00:17.190
hold on one-, hold on, one second this is...

00:00:17.190 --> 00:00:22.250
gonna be cool, I mean, I mean HUAAA...

00:00:23.000 --> 00:00:28.420
AHAHHH *Strange accent* hello hallo hallo welcome my students.

00:00:28.420 --> 00:00:32.540
welcome to the poodiepie love making

00:00:32.540 --> 00:00:36.270
you're in the right place boi today I am

00:00:36.270 --> 00:00:39.719
going to match you guys a love match

00:00:39.720 --> 00:00:43.250
I know you guys are lonely, sad, pathetic

00:00:43.250 --> 00:00:45.780
pieces of human beings, you're single

00:00:45.780 --> 00:00:49.700
you're sad I'm here to help you out

00:00:49.710 --> 00:00:52.020
yo' boy Felix is here to help ya out and if you

00:00:52.020 --> 00:00:53.879
liked this video right now you get a

00:00:53.879 --> 00:00:56.250
fifty fi-  five percent chance of winning an

00:00:56.250 --> 00:00:58.469
Amazon gift card (yep) if you delete your

00:00:58.469 --> 00:01:01.859
channel afterwards basically i asked you Bros

00:01:01.859 --> 00:01:04.739
on Twitter if you need any help with

00:01:04.739 --> 00:01:09.180
uhhh some love you need a little help

00:01:09.180 --> 00:01:12.000
with some love don't ya you can talk

00:01:12.000 --> 00:01:15.030
to me you want to go in the van and have

00:01:15.030 --> 00:01:18.630
some sex I feel like this is a good look

00:01:18.630 --> 00:01:21.060
for me I don't know I'd fuck this look

00:01:21.060 --> 00:01:23.700
PewDiePie love Guru here looking for

00:01:23.700 --> 00:01:26.340
love single ready to mingle

00:01:26.340 --> 00:01:28.229
post below and I'll hook you up with

00:01:28.229 --> 00:01:30.920
someone don't worry it's safe I think

00:01:30.920 --> 00:01:34.890
alright so here we go here we go ha ha

00:01:34.890 --> 00:01:39.619
ha ha ha can you hook me up with Marzia *silence*

00:01:40.579 --> 00:01:43.229
listen here you son of a bitch I will

00:01:43.229 --> 00:01:44.420
fuck you in the ass

00:01:44.420 --> 00:01:50.060
Isabel Wenzel my fe- (chukle) my ferret, Goose

00:01:50.060 --> 00:01:53.130
what a great name of a ferret is in

00:01:53.130 --> 00:01:54.810
desperate need of a partner

00:01:54.810 --> 00:01:56.700
I caught him for the fourth time in the

00:01:56.700 --> 00:01:59.969
bathtub soaked in his tears this morning

00:01:59.969 --> 00:02:01.770
he joys he enjoys taking a crap in the

00:02:01.770 --> 00:02:03.280
corner that suits his need he has a

00:02:03.300 --> 00:02:06.270
tampon fetis**** and he likes to 420 blaze

00:02:06.270 --> 00:02:09.060
it when I'm not at home I've also seen

00:02:09.060 --> 00:02:10.830
him read The Wall Street Journal

00:02:10.830 --> 00:02:12.700
on a daily basis

00:02:12.700 --> 00:02:15.910
this man this ferret needs a partner

00:02:15.910 --> 00:02:17.890
goose is one year old but he has an old

00:02:17.890 --> 00:02:20.560
soul please find someone for him so he

00:02:20.560 --> 00:02:22.690
could fall out of his depression the

00:02:22.690 --> 00:02:24.280
only thing that really seems to cheer

00:02:24.280 --> 00:02:26.290
him up right now is when he sees Slippy

00:02:26.290 --> 00:02:28.930
on my computer monitor well I mean it's

00:02:28.930 --> 00:02:32.170
obvious yes yes I-I approve of the

00:02:32.170 --> 00:02:34.090
marriage your Goose can marry my

00:02:34.090 --> 00:02:35.520
Slippy...slippy!

00:02:35.520 --> 00:02:39.250
will you marry Goose I actually don't

00:02:39.250 --> 00:02:41.410
know if slippy is a boy or a girl are

00:02:41.410 --> 00:02:43.870
you sexually attracted to this ferret I

00:02:43.870 --> 00:02:46.390
love goose from the moment I set my

00:02:46.390 --> 00:02:49.330
bulbous eyes upon him ferrets are my

00:02:49.330 --> 00:02:52.390
bias another match has been settled and

00:02:52.390 --> 00:02:54.880
I look after you guys I care about you

00:02:54.880 --> 00:02:56.290
guys I'm not like all these other

00:02:56.290 --> 00:02:58.900
youtubers they don't really care about

00:02:58.900 --> 00:03:03.250
their fans also be sure to leave

00:03:03.250 --> 00:03:07.410
subscribe to this channel and then a

00:03:07.410 --> 00:03:13.420
comment I I am a Jeff.. Eric Alex Nob

00:03:13.420 --> 00:03:15.850
mister PewDiePie I'm looking for someone

00:03:15.850 --> 00:03:19.269
that looks like Chef Ramsey and a little

00:03:19.269 --> 00:03:21.489
bit of John Cena please my good sir

00:03:21.489 --> 00:03:25.209
reload your vow that Cupid gave -what

00:03:25.209 --> 00:03:27.190
the fuck are you talking about Ramsey

00:03:27.190 --> 00:03:31.930
and Cena honestly I can't it's not that

00:03:31.930 --> 00:03:42.000
much different ah yes I see it now

00:03:42.000 --> 00:03:48.790
you're welcome another happy caaab

00:03:48.790 --> 00:03:51.359
right we have Ashley Gallops ladies I

00:03:51.359 --> 00:03:54.160
introduce Josh Clark coming in at

00:03:54.160 --> 00:03:57.790
astonishing five feet six five foot six

00:03:57.790 --> 00:04:00.370
he enjoys nothing more than long walks

00:04:00.370 --> 00:04:02.680
on the beach legal highs and sweaty

00:04:02.680 --> 00:04:06.370
thighs sweaty tights whatever get in

00:04:06.370 --> 00:04:10.630
line ladies it doesn't look good for

00:04:10.630 --> 00:04:12.670
you I don't know what to say it doesn't

00:04:12.670 --> 00:04:13.329
look good

00:04:13.329 --> 00:04:16.230
I match you with

00:04:18.970 --> 00:04:24.740
Silvia Gorjup hey I like long walks by

00:04:24.740 --> 00:04:32.650
the beach match a man who can fist me

00:04:35.680 --> 00:04:39.980
I'm sure Josh can can put out fist me

00:04:39.980 --> 00:04:45.470
daddy Felix no no no no I'm I'm family

00:04:45.470 --> 00:04:46.010
friendly

00:04:46.010 --> 00:04:50.290
hey I don't fist anymore okay I-I-I slap

00:04:50.290 --> 00:04:53.510
can someone treat me like one of his

00:04:53.510 --> 00:04:56.930
france girls I have red hair height one

00:04:56.930 --> 00:05:00.800
se- a perfect match and that will make

00:05:00.800 --> 00:05:04.760
us a perfect match it's like night and day

00:05:04.760 --> 00:05:08.930
white and black but what we have is a

00:05:08.930 --> 00:05:13.760
perfect match when you say this I say

00:05:13.760 --> 00:05:17.000
that and family friendly Felix will fuck

00:05:17.000 --> 00:05:21.500
that ass boy yeah boy I'm good at this I think

00:05:21.500 --> 00:05:24.910
I might be better at this than youtube

00:05:24.910 --> 00:05:28.610
moving on to the next satisfied customer

00:05:28.610 --> 00:05:31.340
we have Justine Brooke Scott my name is

00:05:31.340 --> 00:05:34.700
Justine I like dankmemes chicken wings

00:05:34.700 --> 00:05:37.930
I'm a crazy cat lady and I'm anti-social

00:05:37.930 --> 00:05:40.760
can you find me someone for a potato

00:05:40.760 --> 00:05:43.430
like me it's seems impossible doesn't

00:05:43.430 --> 00:05:46.570
it but wait

00:05:46.719 --> 00:05:51.839
scanning scanning

00:05:52.190 --> 00:05:55.880
we have a man, Andrei Calma hello I am a

00:05:55.880 --> 00:05:57.890
simple average man who has the

00:05:57.890 --> 00:06:02.960
possibility of brain damage because okay

00:06:02.960 --> 00:06:05.060
now I'm gonna have to agree with you on

00:06:05.060 --> 00:06:08.000
that one please hook me up this

00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:11.510
wonderful face please hook up this

00:06:11.510 --> 00:06:15.110
wonderful face and my hobbies are trying

00:06:15.110 --> 00:06:19.250
to pretend I'm a potato it's a perfect

00:06:19.250 --> 00:06:19.970
match

00:06:19.970 --> 00:06:22.610
damn I'm good at this smash that like

00:06:22.610 --> 00:06:25.730
button for an Amazon gift card or I will

00:06:25.730 --> 00:06:28.850
smash your mama I'm the love guru I can

00:06:28.850 --> 00:06:31.220
do that shit I'll fuck your dad I'll fuck

00:06:31.220 --> 00:06:35.780
anyone hell yeah I'm good you ever see

00:06:35.780 --> 00:06:38.090
this face out on the nightclub boy you

00:06:38.090 --> 00:06:39.980
better grab onto you lady tight and be

00:06:39.980 --> 00:06:42.470
like hey girl I'm sorry we gotta go real

00:06:42.470 --> 00:06:44.840
fast cause family friendly Felix here

00:06:44.840 --> 00:06:47.510
he's gonna fuck your shit up! Woman's voice: but I would

00:06:47.510 --> 00:06:58.070
like to stay then! Back to felix: ah ah ah ah ah Woman: oh look there he is! ahhhhhh!  felix: ahh auhhh *laughs* moving

00:06:58.070 --> 00:07:00.950
on these are all real comments these are

00:07:00.950 --> 00:07:06.800
real people and uuuuhhhh my name a Jeff. my name jeff

00:07:06.800 --> 00:07:11.050
everyone Christian Neil- Nell Patterson i

00:07:11.050 --> 00:07:14.210
sexually identify as an attack helicopter

00:07:14.210 --> 00:07:18.080
round of applause you're a brave

00:07:18.080 --> 00:07:21.320
you're a brave helicopter christian we

00:07:21.320 --> 00:07:24.180
appreciate that you came

00:07:24.180 --> 00:07:27.150
*burps* and fou- okay every night when my rotors

00:07:27.150 --> 00:07:29.850
are slowing down as I begin to fall

00:07:29.850 --> 00:07:33.000
asleep I wish for love but I have no one

00:07:33.000 --> 00:07:35.670
to love or be loved why- by pleasehelp

00:07:35.670 --> 00:07:40.710
felix Christian I'm a help a brother

00:07:40.710 --> 00:07:42.600
I'm sorry I'm a help I'm a help a

00:07:42.600 --> 00:07:46.320
chopper out I'm a help a chopper out I

00:07:46.320 --> 00:07:47.790
got you

00:07:47.790 --> 00:07:50.790
I know it might seem impossible for me

00:07:50.790 --> 00:07:53.340
to find love for a helicopter *snorts cocaine* but

00:07:53.340 --> 00:07:56.000
scanning

00:07:57.840 --> 00:08:02.020
do do Do Do dO dO do Do Do dO dO

00:08:02.020 --> 00:08:05.540
bling x4 ring we have a match for a

00:08:05.540 --> 00:08:07.940
helicopter are you cereal Nora

00:08:07.940 --> 00:08:11.210
Marie Hager I'm actually looking for a

00:08:11.210 --> 00:08:14.420
vegan transgender are you atheist who

00:08:14.420 --> 00:08:15.920
vapes and CrossFit's

00:08:15.920 --> 00:08:18.620
four times a week's four times a week

00:08:18.620 --> 00:08:21.460
who's also a male feminist and

00:08:21.460 --> 00:08:25.750
identified themselves as a Pastafarian

00:08:25.750 --> 00:08:30.710
Apache helicopter my god

00:08:30.710 --> 00:08:33.050
helicopter dog mega multi combo god

00:08:33.050 --> 00:08:35.500
hyper of death and if you don't find

00:08:35.500 --> 00:08:41.120
that you're an ignorant arrogant globeaphobic sexist lesbian

00:08:41.200 --> 00:08:45.920
Nora Marie I have got you I got you girl

00:08:45.920 --> 00:08:47.840
I don't know how helicopter babies are

00:08:47.840 --> 00:08:51.650
made but I I imagine it's done by

00:08:51.650 --> 00:08:52.930
underwater rats

00:08:52.930 --> 00:08:56.030
please invest I'm looking for investors

00:08:56.030 --> 00:08:58.370
I've started an underwater wha- rats

00:08:58.370 --> 00:09:00.410
business on the side

00:09:00.410 --> 00:09:04.820
moving on yo one years old single cook

00:09:04.820 --> 00:09:07.490
cockatiel looking for that special ten

00:09:07.490 --> 00:09:10.310
in my lap yes I'm a vinyl but I can

00:09:10.310 --> 00:09:12.800
still be the color in your life baby let

00:09:12.800 --> 00:09:15.560
me smash a bird comes to me for love

00:09:15.560 --> 00:09:21.790
advice that's right bamm-bamm I got you

00:09:21.790 --> 00:09:25.910
Kaylie how I hook you up with hailing

00:09:25.910 --> 00:09:26.540
cab

00:09:26.540 --> 00:09:30.680
hello I am a male burp about five inches

00:09:30.680 --> 00:09:35.600
tall gray pearl and have a mohawk I'm

00:09:35.600 --> 00:09:37.820
two years old I enjoy screaming in the

00:09:37.820 --> 00:09:40.280
mornings and fight with my reflection I

00:09:40.280 --> 00:09:43.040
need a woman who will enjoy our seed

00:09:43.040 --> 00:09:45.230
feet and scream with me at the crack of

00:09:45.230 --> 00:09:49.670
dawn you're welcome a perfect match a

00:09:49.670 --> 00:10:03.210
love love meets love

00:10:03.210 --> 00:10:10.210
I'm sorry so beautiful seeing I have the

00:10:10.210 --> 00:10:12.430
best job these birds are gonna look

00:10:12.430 --> 00:10:16.330
happy to die knowing I made a positive

00:10:16.330 --> 00:10:18.930
impact

00:10:55.110 --> 00:10:57.170
you