WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.030 --> 00:00:09.410 Oh what are you still doing you YouTube nubbs. 00:00:09.410 --> 00:00:12.719 those sons of bitches they took all my 00:00:12.719 --> 00:00:18.690 money but they demonetized all my videos. 00:00:18.690 --> 00:00:24.390 as you can see by this background I'm 00:00:24.390 --> 00:00:25.710 living in in the, 00:00:25.710 --> 00:00:28.140 I'm living in the slums I'm eating, 00:00:28.140 --> 00:00:31.230 Edgar's dog food that's right I I made 00:00:31.230 --> 00:00:34.170 some bad investments okay I did I I 00:00:34.170 --> 00:00:35.820 thought it was going to work out who 00:00:35.820 --> 00:00:38.100 knew rats could it live underneath water 00:00:38.100 --> 00:00:40.860 okay maybe I maybe I should have seen 00:00:40.860 --> 00:00:41.579 that one coming 00:00:41.579 --> 00:00:43.260 god dammit why do I invest all my money 00:00:43.260 --> 00:00:46.140 in the rat under water rats nah leprosy 00:00:46.140 --> 00:00:50.250 I have leprosy now I'm gonna have to get 00:00:50.250 --> 00:00:52.020 a new job don't you understand the 00:00:52.020 --> 00:00:54.719 serious and see of the situation why 00:00:54.719 --> 00:00:57.600 aren't you looking at me huh well no I 00:00:57.600 --> 00:01:00.239 have not something that moment I'm gonna 00:01:00.239 --> 00:01:04.350 have to find another job what job am i 00:01:04.350 --> 00:01:06.780 qualified what talents do I have as a 00:01:06.780 --> 00:01:12.000 youtuber as a joke because youtubers 00:01:12.000 --> 00:01:15.540 doesn't have talent Photoshop Photoshop 00:01:15.540 --> 00:01:16.710 that's right 00:01:16.710 --> 00:01:23.700 Aynsley Photoshop let's see on Twitter 00:01:23.700 --> 00:01:26.939 what people want made a rotor shop daddy 00:01:26.939 --> 00:01:29.100 oh five as a happy wholesome American 00:01:29.100 --> 00:01:30.780 family now that's just straight-up 00:01:30.780 --> 00:01:31.860 impossible 00:01:31.860 --> 00:01:34.290 don't be ridiculous Danville cinnamon 00:01:34.290 --> 00:01:36.329 toast can the future of YouTube right 00:01:36.329 --> 00:01:43.070 there zooming on the nipple 00:01:43.070 --> 00:01:45.899 the real future of YouTube you just go 00:01:45.899 --> 00:01:47.579 to the trending tab and look whatever 00:01:47.579 --> 00:01:49.109 cancer is on that shit 00:01:49.109 --> 00:01:52.740 we got Roman Atwood Vox iJustine and 00:01:52.740 --> 00:01:55.319 what's up mom's Photoshop Wall Street 00:01:55.319 --> 00:01:58.170 Journal into a good publication okay 00:01:58.170 --> 00:02:00.659 that should be easy enough I accept your 00:02:00.659 --> 00:02:01.560 challenge 00:02:01.560 --> 00:02:02.759 all right we have the Wall Street 00:02:02.759 --> 00:02:06.299 Journal logo here and let's let's make 00:02:06.299 --> 00:02:09.450 some fine-tuning adjustments change the 00:02:09.450 --> 00:02:12.590 letters a little bit we rearranged 00:02:12.590 --> 00:02:16.410 essentially just rearrange what we're 00:02:16.410 --> 00:02:21.720 looking at here oh wow it's it's 00:02:21.720 --> 00:02:23.640 starting to look like something could it 00:02:23.640 --> 00:02:26.549 be a good publication my god let's add 00:02:26.549 --> 00:02:29.060 some coloring beautiful 00:02:29.060 --> 00:02:32.670 Dolan that will be fede bucks okay you 00:02:32.670 --> 00:02:36.180 can PayPal me who's chaos says fuck me 00:02:36.180 --> 00:02:37.920 up well this has already been 00:02:37.920 --> 00:02:39.959 photoshopped okay you clearly use some 00:02:39.959 --> 00:02:42.329 fucking filter to smooth out his skin 00:02:42.329 --> 00:02:45.060 what are you fucking I what can we do 00:02:45.060 --> 00:02:47.250 with this I don't fucking know I'm going 00:02:47.250 --> 00:02:52.350 to be honest here you look like shit I'm 00:02:52.350 --> 00:02:54.900 sorry you don't look great but 00:02:54.900 --> 00:02:57.690 there-there is the solution okay I have 00:02:57.690 --> 00:02:59.700 a problem with the fact that you're 00:02:59.700 --> 00:03:02.489 trying to steal my hair and but I will 00:03:02.489 --> 00:03:04.859 say you have a huge fucking nose and 00:03:04.859 --> 00:03:07.680 that you know represent as a fellow 00:03:07.680 --> 00:03:10.829 member of the big-ass nose community I 00:03:10.829 --> 00:03:13.799 appreciate you and I want to accentuate 00:03:13.799 --> 00:03:19.669 your best features why I can't submit by 00:03:19.669 --> 00:03:22.829 just lifting them up just a tiny bit we 00:03:22.829 --> 00:03:24.900 don't want you to look weird or bad or 00:03:24.900 --> 00:03:26.970 anything so let's just do that 00:03:26.970 --> 00:03:29.069 so let's describe that beautiful nose 00:03:29.069 --> 00:03:32.970 and let's get rid of you wow that is 00:03:32.970 --> 00:03:34.889 look Wow 00:03:34.889 --> 00:03:40.109 can you tell I'm good at Photoshop oh my 00:03:40.109 --> 00:03:42.739 god it looks so real 00:03:42.739 --> 00:03:46.650 can't you tell by the pixels yep I'm 00:03:46.650 --> 00:03:49.230 definitely not regretting spending time 00:03:49.230 --> 00:03:52.560 on this one I definitely think this was 00:03:52.560 --> 00:03:55.920 worth the effort make him happy 00:03:55.920 --> 00:03:59.910 who cries on camera what a goddamn loser 00:03:59.910 --> 00:04:03.510 I can't allow that to happen I will do 00:04:03.510 --> 00:04:07.280 it for free this should be easy 00:04:10.280 --> 00:04:14.260 oh fuck I fucked it up I fucked it up 00:04:14.260 --> 00:04:17.200 goddamnit I'm not cut out for this 00:04:17.200 --> 00:04:21.440 that's not just mean G make me into a 00:04:21.440 --> 00:04:24.860 dodge please notice me senpai it's my 00:04:24.860 --> 00:04:27.710 dream to be in one of your vids well 00:04:27.710 --> 00:04:29.870 your wish is my command as long as you 00:04:29.870 --> 00:04:31.640 pay pal I have a feeling she's gonna 00:04:31.640 --> 00:04:33.470 regret this I just found the perfect 00:04:33.470 --> 00:04:38.660 dodge the perfect I mean already I can't 00:04:38.660 --> 00:04:41.060 tell the difference alright let's start 00:04:41.060 --> 00:04:43.040 with the eyes make it make it nice and 00:04:43.040 --> 00:04:47.000 simple to be honest already you look ten 00:04:47.000 --> 00:04:50.440 times better Felix the plastic surgeon 00:04:50.440 --> 00:04:54.590 here to fulfill all your needs moving on 00:04:54.590 --> 00:04:56.900 to the note that looks great 00:04:56.900 --> 00:04:59.840 I love my lime thank you for asking yes 00:04:59.840 --> 00:05:02.000 I think we're getting somewhere next 00:05:02.000 --> 00:05:03.830 time it'd be really great if you could 00:05:03.830 --> 00:05:05.330 send me in like a little lower rest 00:05:05.330 --> 00:05:07.910 photo that would be really helpful thank 00:05:07.910 --> 00:05:09.350 you it looks like we're gonna have to 00:05:09.350 --> 00:05:12.730 give you a complete new set of teeth yes 00:05:12.730 --> 00:05:16.100 yes now just the ears I don't see your 00:05:16.100 --> 00:05:17.620 ear so I'm just gonna have to guess 00:05:17.620 --> 00:05:19.940 actually never mind there's a little ear 00:05:19.940 --> 00:05:21.470 tip that's all we got to work with 00:05:21.470 --> 00:05:25.729 that's all we were doing yeah yes proper 00:05:25.729 --> 00:05:29.510 dog ears wow look at that 00:05:29.510 --> 00:05:32.030 and you're really wearing a necklace so 00:05:32.030 --> 00:05:36.800 there there you go Oh oh my god Jesus 00:05:36.800 --> 00:05:37.400 Christ 00:05:37.400 --> 00:05:40.060 let's have a little look-see before 00:05:40.060 --> 00:05:43.970 after my god you look great honey 00:05:43.970 --> 00:05:47.540 not only 50 bucks thank you oh my god if 00:05:47.540 --> 00:05:49.160 this continues I might be able to 00:05:49.160 --> 00:05:51.650 support myself make me into a helicopter 00:05:51.650 --> 00:05:54.560 you know what I feel privileged to help 00:05:54.560 --> 00:05:57.710 you in your transition into an Apache 00:05:57.710 --> 00:06:00.650 helicopter you're so brave let's take 00:06:00.650 --> 00:06:02.930 your sorry don't mean to be rude but you 00:06:02.930 --> 00:06:05.210 have weird ass fingers disgusting but 00:06:05.210 --> 00:06:07.610 they will make you fly fucking like did 00:06:07.610 --> 00:06:09.350 you have to cover up your whole goddamn 00:06:09.350 --> 00:06:11.060 face Wow 00:06:11.060 --> 00:06:17.380 so brave okay what a grace is it yeah 00:06:17.380 --> 00:06:23.110 fucking dumb oh my god okay ah 00:06:23.110 --> 00:06:26.539 another satisfied customer 00:06:26.539 --> 00:06:29.539 Wow it feels great that I can make 00:06:29.539 --> 00:06:31.610 people feel good can you give me big 00:06:31.610 --> 00:06:35.089 muscular arms a poor soul in pain in 00:06:35.089 --> 00:06:38.839 need he doesn't have any arms it will be 00:06:38.839 --> 00:06:42.379 my honor my privilege and my duty you 00:06:42.379 --> 00:06:44.300 know some people say that using 00:06:44.300 --> 00:06:47.979 Photoshop generated arms is unethical 00:06:47.979 --> 00:06:51.939 dangerous can cause life's 00:06:51.939 --> 00:06:54.860 life-threatening disease no I say no 00:06:54.860 --> 00:06:58.009 there's nothing wrong with it there's 00:06:58.009 --> 00:07:01.939 nothing wrong with having arms and if 00:07:01.939 --> 00:07:03.979 you have a problem with having arms 00:07:03.979 --> 00:07:08.449 you've got a problem with me because I 00:07:08.449 --> 00:07:11.119 have arms what the fuck am I talking 00:07:11.119 --> 00:07:14.809 about dude you're gonna look so small we 00:07:14.809 --> 00:07:18.939 need to work out when you look this good 00:07:18.939 --> 00:07:23.169 when you look this good boy damn dog you 00:07:23.169 --> 00:07:27.559 go fuck them hoes up hit man you look 00:07:27.559 --> 00:07:29.360 fucking at a touch 00:07:29.360 --> 00:07:35.089 holy shit damn you look amazing another 00:07:35.089 --> 00:07:39.919 satisfied customer thank you give 00:07:39.919 --> 00:07:42.559 Gerrard his eyebrows back what happened 00:07:42.559 --> 00:07:45.289 to Gerard's eyebrows you know what not 00:07:45.289 --> 00:07:47.869 Mike not none of my business 00:07:47.869 --> 00:07:51.610 not a my Beza I've always wondered I 00:07:51.610 --> 00:07:54.349 know you think you've thought the same 00:07:54.349 --> 00:07:56.990 thing I've always wondered what would it 00:07:56.990 --> 00:08:01.550 be like to have ok meseta let's say it 00:08:01.550 --> 00:08:06.379 on three one two caterpillar eyebrows 00:08:06.379 --> 00:08:11.139 yes on point how high five 00:08:11.139 --> 00:08:15.949 caterpillar eyebrows is the new hippest 00:08:15.949 --> 00:08:18.229 trend that a lot of people don't know 00:08:18.229 --> 00:08:22.719 about I was a fan of caterpillar before 00:08:22.719 --> 00:08:25.839 caterpillars were cool okay alright 00:08:25.839 --> 00:08:27.159 alright 00:08:27.159 --> 00:08:30.529 caterpillars it's my thing it's what I 00:08:30.529 --> 00:08:32.680 define my identity around 00:08:32.680 --> 00:08:34.449 peddlers I've been thinking about this 00:08:34.449 --> 00:08:36.279 caterpillar thing for a long time 00:08:36.279 --> 00:08:38.139 and I want you to know Gerard if you 00:08:38.139 --> 00:08:40.809 actually want me to hit you up with some 00:08:40.809 --> 00:08:43.300 caterpillar eyebrows I can give you a 00:08:43.300 --> 00:08:46.389 discount just because I really like your 00:08:46.389 --> 00:08:49.059 music would you like some candy Peter a 00:08:49.059 --> 00:08:53.709 bee we came down there and come now you 00:08:53.709 --> 00:08:56.619 get to caterpillar for free you get one 00:08:56.619 --> 00:08:59.860 caterpillar is a friend that's Frank you 00:08:59.860 --> 00:09:01.990 get to print a caterpillar free while 00:09:01.990 --> 00:09:04.230 hillocks it looks good 00:09:04.230 --> 00:09:07.899 it looks really good it feels rewarding 00:09:07.899 --> 00:09:11.249 it's Edgar's turn to be in the middle 00:09:11.249 --> 00:09:13.480 thank you so cute 00:09:13.480 --> 00:09:16.660 Jesus guys chill it was pretty pie come 00:09:16.660 --> 00:09:18.550 on Wallace read you want fortify I swear 00:09:18.550 --> 00:09:23.009 I can tell you everything about the fuck 00:09:23.009 --> 00:09:28.470 fix this okay no problem 00:09:28.470 --> 00:09:30.069 you're welcome 00:09:30.069 --> 00:09:32.619 you're welcome that'll be another 50 00:09:32.619 --> 00:09:35.589 here's a classic example of how the fuck 00:09:35.589 --> 00:09:37.720 am I supposed to do that turn me into 00:09:37.720 --> 00:09:39.939 this pug okay well you're covering your 00:09:39.939 --> 00:09:41.949 whole guy do you have glasses and a 00:09:41.949 --> 00:09:44.740 fucking mug in your face how am I 00:09:44.740 --> 00:09:47.339 supposed to do that now just because you 00:09:47.339 --> 00:09:51.370 made such a dumb suggestion I'm going to 00:09:51.370 --> 00:09:54.429 turn this cup into the pod look what an 00:09:54.429 --> 00:09:57.339 amazing time that part of that mug has 00:09:57.339 --> 00:09:59.170 what the fuck am i doing 00:09:59.170 --> 00:10:01.269 god dammit the fucking on monetization 00:10:01.269 --> 00:10:03.459 man I don't know what to do I don't know 00:10:03.459 --> 00:10:06.279 what to do but now I know thanks to you 00:10:06.279 --> 00:10:09.309 guys and my amazing talent we can work 00:10:09.309 --> 00:10:10.300 this out together 00:10:10.300 --> 00:10:13.929 appreciate you and as always a little 00:10:13.929 --> 00:10:17.610 high came in without one