WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: zh-TW

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*咳嗽*

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你還在那裡幹嘛?

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Youtube,那狗娘養的

00:00:11.920 --> 00:00:17.080
他們拿走我所有的錢 *咳嗽*

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它們剝奪我所有的影片,
如你所見  藉由這個背景

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我住在...

00:00:25.710 --> 00:00:27.900
我住在貧民窟了

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我只能吃Edgar的狗糧,沒錯

00:00:30.780 --> 00:00:34.160
我,我做了些爛投資
好嗎,我 我

00:00:34.170 --> 00:00:35.820
我想著這樣能解決

00:00:35.820 --> 00:00:38.100
誰知道老鼠在水面下活不了?

00:00:38.100 --> 00:00:40.220
好吧,也許我-

00:00:40.220 --> 00:00:41.860
...也許我該料到那會發生
靠腰,我為什麼會

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將我所有錢投資在那隻老鼠---那隻水面下的老鼠? *咳嗽*

00:00:45.580 --> 00:00:46.140
痲瘋病

00:00:46.140 --> 00:00:49.520
我現在得了痲瘋病了

00:00:49.520 --> 00:00:52.020
我得找個新工作 你難道不懂

00:00:52.020 --> 00:00:54.719
這情況的嚴重性嗎?  你幹嘛

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看著我,哼?

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不,我還沒陷那麼深。  我只要

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找另一份工作

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哪種工作我比較拿手? 我有哪些才華?

00:01:06.780 --> 00:01:10.840
做為一個YouTuber? *笑*

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(這是一個笑話啦因為YouTubers沒有才華)

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Photoshop,沒錯

00:01:16.700 --> 00:01:18.620
Ainsley.  *Bing!*

00:01:22.940 --> 00:01:26.940
讓我們看看推特,人們想要我

00:01:26.940 --> 00:01:29.100
將DaddyOFive P成健康快樂的

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美國人家庭 
嗯那簡直不可能

00:01:31.360 --> 00:01:31.860
 

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不要搞笑了,Dan Bull

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Cinnamon ToastKen-
"未來的YouTube" 在這兒

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在奶頭上放大

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*戲劇性音樂*

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想知道未來的YouTube

00:01:45.780 --> 00:01:47.579
只要去熱門標籤

00:01:47.579 --> 00:01:49.109
看看在那屎上有什麼癌症之類的

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我們有Roman Atwood, Vox, iJustine 
和WhatsUpMoms.

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"將華爾街時報P成好的刊物"

00:01:57.440 --> 00:01:59.520
好的  那應該夠簡單了

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我接受你的挑戰

00:02:01.560 --> 00:02:04.200
好的,我們這裡有華爾街時報的logo

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讓我們,呃,做點

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一些讓它好轉的調整   讓字小一些

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改變,本質上的改變,

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我們正看著的這個

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呃喔       哇嗚

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這看起來開始像某種東西了

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這可能變成好的刊物嗎?
老天

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讓我們上點色   漂亮!

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呃,Dolan,那樣50元,行嗎?

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你可以 PayPal我喔 *眨眼*

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WhosChaos說"把我搞砸吧"

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恩,這已經被P過了,好吧

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你顯然用了些靠北的濾鏡...去磨你的皮

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你是在幹...

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好吧,我們可以怎麼做?

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我要誠實一點

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你看起來像屎

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我很抱歉   你看起來不棒

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但...有解決的方法好嗎

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我有個問題

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你在偷打我頭髮的主意對吧

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但我會說

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你有個超他媽大的鼻子

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做為一個

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大屁鼻協會的成員,我欣賞你  然後我想

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加強你最好的面貌

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就是把它提高然後弄小一點

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我們不希望你看起來很奇怪或糟糕什麼的

00:03:26.140 --> 00:03:26.960
所以我們就那樣做吧

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所以讓我們抓起那美麗的鼻子

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讓我們擺脫你

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哇喔  那看起來─

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哇你可以說我很會p? 喔買尬

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看起來好真實

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你不能藉由像素說明?

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對的,我絕對不後悔

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花時間在這個上

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我覺得這努力超級值得

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讓他開心
誰會在鏡頭前哭

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真是個天殺的魯蛇
我不允許這發生

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我會免費做這個
這應該很簡單

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喔幹!我搞砸了
我他媽搞砸了

00:04:14.540 --> 00:04:17.200
真是天殺的
把這卡掉啊

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*笑*

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jasmine g:"把我變成狗拜託"

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"注意到我吧前輩  出現在你的影片裡是我的夢想"

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嗯,你的希望就是對我的命令,只要你PayPal

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我有種感覺她會後悔這個的

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我找到一隻完美的狗  超完美的

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我的意思是我不能講出差異了

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好了,我們先動眼睛

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讓它,讓它很棒又簡單

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老實說,妳已經看起來好看十倍了

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這滿足了你所有需求

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接下來是鼻子   那看起來好讚

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我愛我的生活
謝謝你這麼要求

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好的,我覺得我們到某個地方了

00:05:02.000 --> 00:05:06.440
下次,如果你可以寄給我像是小一點的照片那就太棒了

00:05:06.440 --> 00:05:07.900
那會很有幫助,謝謝你

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看來我們必須給你

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完整的一副新牙

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好   現在只剩耳朵

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我沒看到你的耳朵

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我只能猜了

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事實上,不要緊,這裡有一點小耳朵

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那就是我們要處理的  那就是我們要做的

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正確的狗耳朵

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哇喔 看看那個

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然後你也戴了項鍊了

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所以,這是你要的

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喔買尬 基督啊

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讓我們看看   -之前

00:05:41.020 --> 00:05:42.000
之後!!!

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我的老天,妳看起來超棒,寶貝!
那就50元了 謝謝  喔買尬

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如果這持續下去  我可能

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支撐我自己了

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"把我變成一台直升機"
你知道嗎

00:05:52.720 --> 00:05:55.900
能幫到你我覺得很榮幸

00:05:55.900 --> 00:05:59.920
把你變成一台阿帕契直升機
你真勇敢

00:05:59.920 --> 00:06:01.640
就拿你的

00:06:01.640 --> 00:06:04.920
抱歉,不是故意沒禮貌但 你有奇怪的手指  噁爆了

00:06:04.920 --> 00:06:07.080
但他們會讓你飛起來

00:06:07.080 --> 00:06:09.020
幹,你有必要遮住

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你整個天殺的臉嗎?

00:06:10.700 --> 00:06:16.780
哇嗚  真是勇敢  OK多棒的一個 *笑*

00:06:16.780 --> 00:06:22.340
天殺的,笨到靠北     喔買尬  OK呃...

00:06:22.340 --> 00:06:26.520
*拍手*  又一位滿意的客戶

00:06:27.380 --> 00:06:28.460
哇嗚

00:06:28.460 --> 00:06:30.920
讓人們更好感覺真不錯

00:06:30.920 --> 00:06:33.480
"你能給我一雙有大肌肉的手臂嗎?"

00:06:33.480 --> 00:06:36.600
一個可憐的靈魂很痛苦,很需要

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他沒有手臂

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那會成為我的光榮  我的榮幸

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你知道,有些人說

00:06:44.020 --> 00:06:46.980
用Photoshop P上一般手臂

00:06:47.060 --> 00:06:50.740
是不道德的   是危險的

00:06:50.740 --> 00:06:54.140
會造成生命,生命威脅的疾病

00:06:54.140 --> 00:06:56.080
不  我說不

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擁有手臂才沒有錯

00:07:01.660 --> 00:07:04.380
而且如果你對於擁有手臂有成見

00:07:04.380 --> 00:07:08.160
你就是和我有成見

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因為我有手臂

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我他媽在講什麼?

00:07:14.800 --> 00:07:17.180
誰還需要運動

00:07:17.180 --> 00:07:23.520
你看起來這麼棒啊男孩  天殺的

00:07:23.520 --> 00:07:27.080
你可以幹爆婊子們了!!!

00:07:27.080 --> 00:07:30.480
幹,老兄,你看起來超他媽緊的啦

00:07:30.480 --> 00:07:32.960
天啊靠,耶,你看起來超讚

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又一個滿意的客戶!

00:07:38.560 --> 00:07:39.960
感恩你

00:07:39.960 --> 00:07:42.360
"將 Gerard的眉毛還給他"

00:07:42.360 --> 00:07:44.800
Gerard的眉毛出啥問題啦?

00:07:44.800 --> 00:07:47.020
你知道嗎   這不

00:07:47.020 --> 00:07:49.960
不干我的事  不干我的事好嗎

00:07:50.400 --> 00:07:52.160
我一直很困惑

00:07:52.280 --> 00:07:53.780
我知道你在想─

00:07:53.780 --> 00:07:55.540
你想到了同一件事

00:07:55.540 --> 00:07:56.980
我一直很困惑啊

00:07:56.980 --> 00:08:00.620
如果那樣的話會怎樣

00:08:00.620 --> 00:08:03.620
好吧,我們就說出來吧,倒數3秒

00:08:03.620 --> 00:08:04.900
1,2

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毛毛蟲眉毛

00:08:06.860 --> 00:08:09.220
沒錯  正中紅心

00:08:09.220 --> 00:08:11.140
耶,擊掌啦

00:08:11.140 --> 00:08:14.580
毛毛蟲眉毛

00:08:14.580 --> 00:08:17.380
就是新時尚的趨勢

00:08:17.380 --> 00:08:19.160
還超多人不知道的勒

00:08:19.160 --> 00:08:22.280
我以前很怕毛毛蟲

00:08:22.720 --> 00:08:25.600
其實毛毛蟲很酷啦,好嗎

00:08:25.600 --> 00:08:27.159
好的,好的

00:08:27.160 --> 00:08:30.240
毛毛蟲是我的東西

00:08:30.240 --> 00:08:33.200
這就是確信我身分的,毛毛蟲

00:08:33.200 --> 00:08:34.440
我有想過這個

00:08:34.449 --> 00:08:36.279
毛毛蟲很久了

00:08:36.280 --> 00:08:38.020
而我想讓你知道,Gerard,

00:08:38.020 --> 00:08:40.800
如果你確實要我  替你

00:08:40.800 --> 00:08:42.620
弄上一些毛毛蟲眉毛

00:08:42.620 --> 00:08:44.940
我可以給你一點折扣

00:08:44.940 --> 00:08:47.420
因為我很喜歡你的音樂

00:08:47.420 --> 00:08:53.180
想來點毛毛蟲眉毛嗎?     我們完成了

00:08:53.180 --> 00:08:54.580
然後你也得到了

00:08:54.580 --> 00:08:57.900
兩隻免費的毛毛蟲

00:08:57.900 --> 00:09:01.980
你得到了一個朋友,你得到一位朋友,毛毛蟲朋友

00:09:01.990 --> 00:09:04.230
哇,他看起來─

00:09:04.230 --> 00:09:07.540
他看起來真的很棒

00:09:07.540 --> 00:09:08.700
那看起來就像被賞賜

00:09:08.700 --> 00:09:10.700
"輪到Edgar在中間了"

00:09:10.700 --> 00:09:11.920
*笑*

00:09:11.920 --> 00:09:14.120
牠好可愛

00:09:14.120 --> 00:09:16.660
老天啊,大夥,冷靜點那是pewdiepie呀

00:09:16.660 --> 00:09:18.550
拜託,華爾街周刊,你想要的是PooDiePie,我保證

00:09:18.550 --> 00:09:21.640
我可以和你說關於他的每件事

00:09:21.640 --> 00:09:23.480
*笑*三小啊

00:09:23.480 --> 00:09:25.980
"修好他"....恩

00:09:25.980 --> 00:09:27.060
好喔沒問題

00:09:29.320 --> 00:09:30.060
不客氣啦

00:09:30.060 --> 00:09:31.620
不用客氣

00:09:31.620 --> 00:09:32.900
那又是50元了

00:09:32.900 --> 00:09:34.900
這是個經典的例子去...

00:09:35.220 --> 00:09:37.240
我他媽該怎麼做啊?

00:09:37.240 --> 00:09:39.180
"把我變成這隻巴哥犬"

00:09:39.180 --> 00:09:41.940
好,嗯你把你整個遮住了   天殺的─你還有眼鏡

00:09:41.940 --> 00:09:44.460
還有個靠北的杯子在你臉上

00:09:44.460 --> 00:09:46.540
我該怎麼做?

00:09:46.540 --> 00:09:51.120
現在因為你做了那麼蠢的事

00:09:51.120 --> 00:09:54.260
我要把這個杯子變成巴哥犬

00:09:54.260 --> 00:09:57.339
看看那巴哥犬的快樂時光

00:09:57.340 --> 00:09:59.520
那個杯子有...   我到底在衝啥...

00:09:59.520 --> 00:10:00.940
天殺的

00:10:00.940 --> 00:10:02.620
那他媽的剝奪啊,老兄

00:10:02.620 --> 00:10:06.280
我不曉得怎麼做   但現在知道了

00:10:06.280 --> 00:10:08.940
謝謝你們大家,和我驚人的才華

00:10:08.940 --> 00:10:10.700
我們可以一同度過難關

00:10:10.700 --> 00:10:11.960
感謝你

00:10:11.960 --> 00:10:14.540
和往常一樣
一個小小的─

00:10:14.540 --> 00:10:15.760
哈 換成這個