WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:01.380 --> 00:00:04.860 I'm fairly certain social media is making us all retarded. (yas)(it Iz) 00:00:04.860 --> 00:00:07.860 You should reclassify Facebook to what it is: to wat 00:00:07.860 --> 00:00:10.000 an anti-social network. 00:00:10.000 --> 00:00:11.500 ? 00:00:11.500 --> 00:00:14.000 (wierd music plays and...) 00:00:14.000 --> 00:00:18.000 Let's get social. (scaryyyyyyy) 00:00:18.000 --> 00:00:19.000 Social! (not) 00:00:19.000 --> 00:00:22.200 And yesterday Twetter went full retard. 00:00:22.500 --> 00:00:24.580 I have joined ISIS, guys. 00:00:24.580 --> 00:00:26.580 (dramatic music plays as he will try) 00:00:27.560 --> 00:00:31.220 I didn't think it was that big a deal, but a lot of people seem to think so. 00:00:31.220 --> 00:00:36.480 Different news outlets posted about this, and you might be wondering why. 00:00:36.480 --> 00:00:38.420 Why did PewDiePie join ISIS? (idk) 00:00:38.420 --> 00:00:39.920 How could he do that? (upside down) 00:00:40.220 --> 00:00:44.120 I thought he was just a YouTuber from Sweden, how could he do this? 00:00:44.120 --> 00:00:46.060 How can he betray us like this? 00:00:46.080 --> 00:00:48.700 If u see dis, ur cool 00:00:48.760 --> 00:00:49.740 *chair knocks against mic* 00:00:49.740 --> 00:00:51.580 Well let me explain, damn it. 00:00:51.580 --> 00:00:54.300 Let's start from the beginning, you know verified on Twitter? 00:00:54.340 --> 00:00:57.380 That little blue checkmark that people have? 00:00:57.500 --> 00:01:01.340 Which people seem to use as some form of status symbol now. 00:01:01.340 --> 00:01:04.060 You got the blue checkmark, you're fucking cool. 00:01:04.200 --> 00:01:04.960 Alright? 00:01:04.960 --> 00:01:08.200 People write shit about it in their bio being like "It's not a big deal". 00:01:08.220 --> 00:01:10.920 I'm verified but I dont really know why *giggle* 00:01:10.920 --> 00:01:14.420 I know why I'm fucking *laugh* I'm the fucking coolest bitch ever. 00:01:14.420 --> 00:01:15.480 Social! 00:01:15.480 --> 00:01:18.420 Oh this verified tick-mark? Pfft, not a big deal. 00:01:18.420 --> 00:01:21.420 If you're wondering why I'm verified, I don't know. 00:01:21.420 --> 00:01:22.460 I don't really know. 00:01:22.660 --> 00:01:24.580 I'm honestly like, "what did I do?" 00:01:24.580 --> 00:01:26.960 That tick doesnt mean that I'm important. 00:01:26.960 --> 00:01:28.360 Yes it fucking does. 00:01:28.360 --> 00:01:30.100 It just means 00:01:30.100 --> 00:01:31.000 I'm me. 00:01:32.600 --> 00:01:35.200 Now, why do people want this checkmark? I don't know. 00:01:35.200 --> 00:01:41.500 If anyone with a blue checkmark interact [sic] with you in anyway possible you get a notification on your phone. 00:01:41.500 --> 00:01:43.740 So let's say, Taylor Swift. 00:01:44.420 --> 00:01:47.000 Tweets at me, I'll get a notification about it. 00:01:47.080 --> 00:01:48.360 Now, a lot of people do it- 00:01:48.360 --> 00:01:52.740 What they do is they'll just start following you, hoping that you will follow back. 00:01:53.100 --> 00:01:54.520 If you follow more people, 00:01:54.520 --> 00:01:59.500 It basically means that you get recommened to be followed by other people. 00:01:59.500 --> 00:02:02.000 Twitter has this "who to follow" suggestions. 00:02:02.000 --> 00:02:05.400 If you follow a lot of people, you are likely to show up. 00:02:05.400 --> 00:02:07.000 I'll show you some experts. 00:02:07.300 --> 00:02:09.000 We have Melissa Joan Hart. 00:02:09.000 --> 00:02:11.000 Remember "Sabrina, The Teenage Witch"? 00:02:11.000 --> 00:02:13.000 She follows two hundred thousand people. 00:02:13.300 --> 00:02:15.000 She follows me for some reason. 00:02:15.000 --> 00:02:16.500 I am sure she is a big fan. 00:02:16.500 --> 00:02:18.500 Two hundred fucking thousand times 00:02:18.500 --> 00:02:19.700 she clicked "Follow". 00:02:19.820 --> 00:02:21.000 Oh, it get [sic] worse. 00:02:21.000 --> 00:02:22.000 "Bart Baker"... 00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:25.000 Five hundred and seventy thousand follower. [sic] 00:02:25.000 --> 00:02:26.400 You are following five... 00:02:26.400 --> 00:02:29.000 You are following almost more people than follows you. 00:02:29.360 --> 00:02:30.500 What the fuck? 00:02:30.500 --> 00:02:34.000 You have someone hired, like a little sweatshop person 00:02:34.000 --> 00:02:36.000 who just click [sic] follow for you? 00:02:36.000 --> 00:02:37.000 I don't understand. 00:02:37.000 --> 00:02:40.300 Okay, you know what? Fine. You know, it's not hurting anyone. I don't care. 00:02:40.500 --> 00:02:42.500 The one thing that I think is a little funny 00:02:42.500 --> 00:02:44.500 is like when you follow 00:02:44.500 --> 00:02:46.500 four hundred and fifty one thousand people, 00:02:46.500 --> 00:02:48.000 you're a YouTuber, 00:02:48.000 --> 00:02:50.500 but you're making your business to make sure 00:02:50.500 --> 00:02:52.500 that you don't follow PewDiePie. 00:02:52.500 --> 00:02:53.300 *giggles* 00:02:53.300 --> 00:02:55.600 You know I'm gonna follow a half a million people but PewDiePie... 00:02:55.600 --> 00:02:57.000 fuck that guy, 00:02:57.000 --> 00:02:59.000 NOT GONNA FOLLOW THAT GUY 00:02:59.000 --> 00:03:00.080 Okay, this video is getting side tracked, 00:03:00.080 --> 00:03:01.540 let me get back to my point. 00:03:01.540 --> 00:03:04.220 I think we can all agree that this is just fucking annoying. 00:03:04.220 --> 00:03:05.220 Well it gets worse. 00:03:05.260 --> 00:03:07.120 There is people that will follow you, 00:03:07.140 --> 00:03:09.140 and then they will unfollow you, 00:03:09.140 --> 00:03:10.520 and then they will follow you again 00:03:10.520 --> 00:03:11.900 and then they'll unfollow you 00:03:11.900 --> 00:03:13.180 and then they'll follow you again 00:03:13.180 --> 00:03:14.560 so you keep getting notifications. 00:03:14.560 --> 00:03:16.180 They hope that you will notice you [sic] 00:03:16.180 --> 00:03:17.020 and follow back 00:03:17.020 --> 00:03:17.520 well guess not [sic] 00:03:17.560 --> 00:03:19.320 NO I SEE THE NOTIFICATIONS 00:03:19.320 --> 00:03:20.500 I'M NOT GONNA FOLLOW BACK! 00:03:20.720 --> 00:03:22.020 WHY IS THIS A THING? 00:03:22.540 --> 00:03:23.780 I don't know how this started, 00:03:24.280 --> 00:03:25.400 but people... 00:03:26.300 --> 00:03:27.020 basically 00:03:27.760 --> 00:03:29.440 I'll see this in my notifications: 00:03:29.920 --> 00:03:31.760 "Emii liked a tweet you were mentioned". [sic] 00:03:31.920 --> 00:03:33.520 I'm like oh okay that's cool. 00:03:33.540 --> 00:03:35.220 Oh, so she liked a fan post. 00:03:35.280 --> 00:03:36.800 SHE DOESN'T EVEN FOLLOW ME! 00:03:37.840 --> 00:03:40.400 Why the fuck would you like a fan tweet? 00:03:40.400 --> 00:03:40.920 Why would you do... 00:03:40.920 --> 00:03:41.540 YOU'RE BLOCKED 00:03:41.540 --> 00:03:42.120 Okay? 00:03:42.120 --> 00:03:45.720 Now, with verification process being just fucking annoying 00:03:45.960 --> 00:03:48.040 I decided to unverify myself. 00:03:48.440 --> 00:03:50.080 Yes, it is possible. 00:03:50.420 --> 00:03:52.160 Now I did this yesterday as a joke. 00:03:52.160 --> 00:03:54.880 It was really funny cause you can see a lot of people joined in. 00:03:55.640 --> 00:03:57.320 I added the globe instead 00:03:57.320 --> 00:03:58.240 and that's my new, 00:03:58.240 --> 00:03:59.640 that's the real notification 00:03:59.640 --> 00:04:00.360 fron now on 00:04:00.360 --> 00:04:02.260 But then, America woke up... 00:04:02.340 --> 00:04:04.340 *laughs* 00:04:04.340 --> 00:04:05.760 That's when shit got stupid. 00:04:05.760 --> 00:04:06.840 So this fake, 00:04:06.840 --> 00:04:07.980 obviously fake, 00:04:07.980 --> 00:04:08.880 website 00:04:09.100 --> 00:04:10.460 called Sky Neeews. 00:04:10.680 --> 00:04:13.160 Which ironically enough is not verified as well... 00:04:13.160 --> 00:04:14.100 So everyone was wondering: 00:04:14.100 --> 00:04:16.120 ''Why the fuck did he unverify himself?" 00:04:16.120 --> 00:04:18.060 Everyone who didn't understand the joke. 00:04:18.520 --> 00:04:20.860 And wanting a reason so badly 00:04:20.860 --> 00:04:22.240 they would believe anything. 00:04:22.240 --> 00:04:23.240 So Sky News posted: 00:04:23.240 --> 00:04:26.960 "Popular Youtuber PewDiePie unverified due to suspected relations with ISIS". 00:04:26.960 --> 00:04:28.020 Seems legit, right? 00:04:28.020 --> 00:04:28.840 You click on the news story- 00:04:28.840 --> 00:04:29.340 Oh 00:04:29.380 --> 00:04:30.660 It just goes to... 00:04:31.160 --> 00:04:32.760 It just goes to a random article. 00:04:32.960 --> 00:04:33.760 That's great 00:04:33.760 --> 00:04:34.340 That would- 00:04:34.340 --> 00:04:34.840 That woul- 00:04:34.840 --> 00:04:37.340 That would have taken anyone like, what, half a second? 00:04:37.340 --> 00:04:39.100 So people started believing this, 00:04:39.140 --> 00:04:40.340 that I joined ISIS. 00:04:40.340 --> 00:04:41.060 What the fuck 00:04:41.060 --> 00:04:41.980 are you doing? 00:04:41.980 --> 00:04:42.520 Sorsha: Seriously 00:04:42.520 --> 00:04:44.080 Both: What the fuck are you doing? 00:04:44.380 --> 00:04:45.680 And ironically enough, 00:04:45.800 --> 00:04:46.680 this Sky News 00:04:46.900 --> 00:04:47.400 uh, f- 00:04:47.400 --> 00:04:48.280 Is obviously a fake 00:04:48.440 --> 00:04:49.800 and it's not verified, 00:04:49.820 --> 00:04:50.320 so 00:04:50.320 --> 00:04:51.580 it really proves the point 00:04:51.580 --> 00:04:53.140 how verified really 00:04:53.140 --> 00:04:54.480 makes all the difference. 00:04:54.480 --> 00:04:55.360 It's really a- 00:04:55.360 --> 00:04:56.380 effective system *ironic tone* 00:04:56.380 --> 00:04:59.340 to distinguish the fake accounts from the real ones. 00:04:59.520 --> 00:05:01.300 Cause clearly no one belie- 00:05:01.300 --> 00:05:01.800 *laughs* 00:05:01.800 --> 00:05:03.960 No one- everyone saw that this was not verified 00:05:03.960 --> 00:05:05.640 and they thought to themself: 00:05:05.640 --> 00:05:07.020 "Wow that is not verified, 00:05:07.020 --> 00:05:09.440 this article about PewDiePie joining ISIS, 00:05:09.440 --> 00:05:12.440 that just can't be real because it's not a verified account 00:05:12.440 --> 00:05:15.040 and I can see that because it doesn't have the verified tick mark!" 00:05:15.440 --> 00:05:17.380 Clearly it doesn't even fucking work. 00:05:17.580 --> 00:05:19.980 Seeing how stupid this was I tweeted a joke saying: 00:05:19.980 --> 00:05:23.060 "Me and Jack joined ISIS, which is why we both got unverified". 00:05:23.060 --> 00:05:24.280 And uh, 00:05:24.280 --> 00:05:25.860 everyone just started freaking out. 00:05:25.860 --> 00:05:26.840 So dumb. 00:05:26.860 --> 00:05:27.820 Why am I here? 00:05:28.180 --> 00:05:29.880 Mashable posted about it, 00:05:30.460 --> 00:05:31.480 people are freaking out. 00:05:31.480 --> 00:05:34.720 They even reached out to Jack who had literally nothing to do with it. 00:05:34.720 --> 00:05:38.100 "Could you comment about this story about PewDiePie joining ISIS?" 00:05:38.100 --> 00:05:40.060 Man, being a journalist must really be... 00:05:41.040 --> 00:05:42.240 a fulfilling work. [sic] 00:05:42.240 --> 00:05:44.080 I think we can summarise this entire video 00:05:44.080 --> 00:05:46.240 as in, does this shit fucking matter? 00:05:46.240 --> 00:05:47.780 Absolutely not. 00:05:47.920 --> 00:05:48.420 Now, 00:05:48.420 --> 00:05:51.160 I invite you to join and be Globified 00:05:51.160 --> 00:05:52.160 as I like to call it. 00:05:52.160 --> 00:05:54.500 Which, by the way, is way fucking cooler 00:05:54.500 --> 00:05:55.400 than verified, 00:05:55.400 --> 00:05:56.480 thank you very much. 00:05:56.640 --> 00:05:59.540 I don't know why I got Globified or who I am honestly, 00:05:59.540 --> 00:06:00.860 I still don't know... 00:06:00.860 --> 00:06:02.760 Guys, my Globified tick... 00:06:03.800 --> 00:06:05.280 It doesn't mean I'm important. 00:06:05.300 --> 00:06:06.740 It just means I'm me. 00:06:06.740 --> 00:06:09.440 Now I invite you to become Globified as well. 00:06:09.440 --> 00:06:12.760 Really what the Globe means is my ranking in ISIS. 00:06:12.940 --> 00:06:14.340 You start off with the Globe 00:06:14.340 --> 00:06:17.020 and then you, you potentially move up to the blue flower-thing, 00:06:17.020 --> 00:06:18.340 and if you're real lucky, 00:06:18.340 --> 00:06:20.560 you can have... the popcorn.