WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.500 *Pewds Intro* (RIP Headphone Users) 00:00:05.420 --> 00:00:05.500 Why... is PewdiePie... the DUMBEST YouTuber... 00:00:05.500 --> 00:00:10.420 Why? is PewdiePie the DUMBEST YOUTUBER? X2 00:00:10.420 --> 00:00:13.120 WHY is Pewdiepie(triggered) 00:00:13.120 --> 00:00:15.400 the DUMBEST YouTuber?! 00:00:15.720 --> 00:00:19.440 WHY is he the dumbest YouTuber??? WHY?? 00:00:19.440 --> 00:00:22.080 I demand an answer. Oh wait! There's a video. 00:00:22.080 --> 00:00:26.320 There, it's right there. Speaking the truth, one video at a time. 00:00:26.320 --> 00:00:28.220 Hey how's it going bros, my name is [vomit sound] 00:00:28.220 --> 00:00:30.660 Wait, you just can't sample one of my videos as your fuckin' intro. 00:00:30.660 --> 00:00:32.120 Thank you very much. 00:00:32.120 --> 00:00:33.420 Thank you very much. 00:00:33.420 --> 00:00:36.120 What if I did that to one of your other videos. 00:00:36.440 --> 00:00:39.520 [Poods]: Oh Jesus Christ... [Sorscha]: But seriously guys, don't wear yoga pants unless you-- 00:00:39.560 --> 00:00:42.100 Someone is trying hard f-fucking hell.. 00:00:42.240 --> 00:00:45.000 [Sorscha]: ...wanna be slut. Like, yoga pants are so slutty. 00:00:45.000 --> 00:00:46.000 It's so slutty 00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:46.100 00:00:46.100 --> 00:00:46.500 [Repeats] So slutty 00:00:46.500 --> 00:00:46.660 ... 00:00:46.660 --> 00:00:47.340 [Louder] So slutty. 00:00:47.340 --> 00:00:48.240 SO SLUTTY. 00:00:48.340 --> 00:00:50.340 [Filtered voice] ...to wear pants that ACTUALLY fit. 00:00:50.340 --> 00:00:51.520 So HEDAAAN 00:00:51.520 --> 00:00:54.620 Okay, this person is insane, let's see what she has to say. 00:00:54.820 --> 00:00:56.960 [Sped up intro music] 00:00:56.960 --> 00:01:02.560 [Sorsha]: Pewdiepie is the most subscribed to YouTube channel with 37 million subscriber-- 00:01:02.560 --> 00:01:08.240 [Sigh] Forty-- Forty six. But this was made in 2015-- I'll give you a pass. 00:01:08.280 --> 00:01:12.080 [Sorsha]: What is he doing with those 37 million subscribers? 00:01:12.080 --> 00:01:18.120 [Sorsha, disgusted]: What is he DOING with those [slowed down] 37 million subscribers... 00:01:18.320 --> 00:01:20.520 What is she looking at when she says that?(umm booties?) 00:01:20.560 --> 00:01:28.980 [Sorsha the female onsion] What is he doing with those-- [ ! ],[Gunshots] [Metal Gear Solid Alert Theme] 00:01:28.980 --> 00:01:31.800 Camera's right here! You gotta-- What are you looking? Don't- 00:01:31.800 --> 00:01:34.420 [Sorsha]: So slutty. [ ! ] [Metal Gear Solid Alert Theme] 00:01:34.420 --> 00:01:34.460 Is this a video? This is a video! What the fuck?! 00:01:34.460 --> 00:01:39.260 Is this a video? This is a video! The fuck? (How to make money on youtube) 00:01:39.260 --> 00:01:40.060 What the fuck? 00:01:41.080 --> 00:01:43.520 She-- Oh my god. 00:01:44.000 --> 00:01:50.820 [Laughing] Oooh my God! This was done recently! Someone discovered the watch time thing. 00:01:50.900 --> 00:01:53.860 [Laughing] Oh my God! 00:01:54.060 --> 00:01:58.180 [Inhales] Ohh this makes everything so much better; I should've done more research. 00:01:58.180 --> 00:02:08.120 The video ends.. at 7:41, but she wanted to get it more than 10 minutes 00:02:08.120 --> 00:02:12.720 so she could have an extra ad in there... So she just added the thumbnail. 00:02:12.720 --> 00:02:16.080 Brilliant! I'm not even talking about the vide-- I need to watch the video, I'm sorry. 00:02:16.140 --> 00:02:18.240 [Sorsha the vegan almighty lord] What in the fuck is he doing? 00:02:18.240 --> 00:02:19.140 [Pewds] What am I doing? 00:02:19.140 --> 00:02:22.940 [Sorsha] Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that PewDiePie can make a living off off playing videogames. 00:02:22.940 --> 00:02:25.320 You just answered your own question. Ya dumb bit-- 00:02:25.320 --> 00:02:27.080 [ ! ] [Metal Gear Solid Alert Theme] 00:02:27.080 --> 00:02:30.560 [Sorsha] As great as it is to have an income from playing videogames, 00:02:30.560 --> 00:02:33.140 [Sorsha, who really should shut up at this point] And to have the most subscribed YouTube channel on YouTube, 00:02:33.140 --> 00:02:34.780 [Sorsha] What good is it for? 00:02:34.780 --> 00:02:36.140 [Sorsha, echoing] What good is it for? 00:02:36.140 --> 00:02:36.860 What? 00:02:36.860 --> 00:02:42.160 [Sorsha] Why not influence people to stop exploiting, torturing, raping and slaughtering innocent beings for food!? 00:02:42.180 --> 00:02:43.200 Wait, raping? 00:02:43.240 --> 00:02:43.740 [Sorsha] Raping 00:02:43.740 --> 00:02:44.940 Wait, wait, rapin--? 00:02:44.940 --> 00:02:45.440 [Sorsha] Raping 00:02:45.460 --> 00:02:46.180 Did she say raping? 00:02:46.180 --> 00:02:46.680 [Sorsha] Raping 00:02:46.680 --> 00:02:47.200 For food? 00:02:47.200 --> 00:02:47.700 [Sorsha] Raping 00:02:47.700 --> 00:02:49.140 Raping animals for food? 00:02:49.140 --> 00:02:51.840 [Sorsha] Raping and slaughtering innocent beings [Loud noise] 00:02:51.840 --> 00:02:53.180 What the f-- [scrambling for words] 00:02:53.180 --> 00:02:56.200 [Sorsha]: If PewDiePie were to go vegan, he'd have a meaningful message. 00:02:56.200 --> 00:02:59.440 If I went vegan, I would have a meaningful message. 00:02:59.440 --> 00:02:59.700 Are all vegans part of some cult or something? Like what's happening? What about all the charity that I do? 00:02:59.700 --> 00:03:04.740 Are all vegans part of some cult or something? Like what's happening? What about all the charity that I do? 00:03:05.400 --> 00:03:11.220 We raised over a million dollars towards many different charities, is that not a meaningful message enough? 00:03:11.220 --> 00:03:14.020 Or does animals only matter? I'm just confused. 00:03:14.140 --> 00:03:17.520 [Sorsha] An additional few million subscribers? Doesn't mean shit. 00:03:17.520 --> 00:03:23.880 If you're not a vegan, whatever the fuck you've accomplished, it don't matter for shit! 00:03:23.880 --> 00:03:30.760 This is, like, why no one will take vegans seriously; 'cause one bat shit crazy person comes out and says stuff like this 00:03:30.760 --> 00:03:33.280 And everyone else just gets discredited. 00:03:33.280 --> 00:03:36.900 [Sorsha]: If you don't have a core message that's making a positive impact on the planet, 00:03:36.900 --> 00:03:38.420 [Sorsha]: What the fuck are you doing? 00:03:38.420 --> 00:03:39.580 Yeah what the fuck am I doing? 00:03:39.640 --> 00:03:41.120 [Sorsha]: What the fuck are you doing? 00:03:41.120 --> 00:03:47.560 God dammit, what the fuck am I doing, raising money, millions of dollars for charity! What the fuck am I DOING?! 00:03:47.560 --> 00:03:49.140 [Sorsha]: What the fuck are you doing? 00:03:49.140 --> 00:03:51.140 I'm not a vegan! [Thuds] 00:03:52.000 --> 00:03:54.700 God damnit! I'm not a vegan! 00:03:54.880 --> 00:03:58.540 [Sorsha]: If you don't have a core message that's making a positive impact on the planet, 00:03:58.540 --> 00:04:01.500 [Sorsha, repeatedly and loudly] What the fuck are you doing? 00:04:01.740 --> 00:04:04.900 [Sigh] Entertaining millions of people... for years? 00:04:04.900 --> 00:04:07.640 [Sorsha, laughing]: Seriously, what the fuck are you doing? 00:04:07.740 --> 00:04:11.200 [Imitating] Seriously, what the fuck are you doing? 00:04:11.240 --> 00:04:12.040 [Sorsha] Seriously-- 00:04:12.200 --> 00:04:14.700 [Stuttering] S-Seriously.. 00:04:14.700 --> 00:04:15.200 [Sorsha] Seriously-- 00:04:15.320 --> 00:04:17.720 [Exaggeratedly] What the fuck are you doing? 00:04:17.720 --> 00:04:19.400 [Sorsha] What the fuck are you doing? 00:04:19.660 --> 00:04:21.780 [Mocking] Why aren't you vegan like me, man? 00:04:21.840 --> 00:04:24.180 [Sorsha] Seriously, what the fuck are you doing? 00:04:24.240 --> 00:04:26.120 [Mocking] Why aren't you vegan, like I am? 00:04:26.120 --> 00:04:26.820 [Sorsha] Seriously 00:04:26.840 --> 00:04:27.820 [Mocking] I'm a vegan! 00:04:27.820 --> 00:04:28.520 [Sorsha] Seriously (zoom at the boobies) 00:04:28.540 --> 00:04:34.860 [Mocking] Alright? I am, at LEAST, twenty percent better than you fuckin' piece of shi-- 00:04:34.860 --> 00:04:37.600 How can you eat meat, you fucking dirty-- 00:04:37.600 --> 00:04:38.560 [Sorsha, overlapping] "So slutty" "Seriously" 00:04:38.560 --> 00:04:42.480 Even cows' milk-- I fucking spit that shit in your fuck-- 00:04:42.480 --> 00:04:44.540 [Mocking] How can you NOT be a vegan, man? 00:04:44.540 --> 00:04:46.320 [Sorsha] What the f*ck are you doing? 00:04:46.340 --> 00:04:49.440 [Mocking] How can you not see how blind you are? 00:04:49.440 --> 00:04:55.940 [Growing more upset] How can you not fucking understand what a piece of fucking lowlife piece of shit you are? 00:04:55.940 --> 00:04:57.880 [Sorsha] Seriously, what the fuck are you doing? 00:04:58.000 --> 00:05:06.320 [Angsty piano] I don't have a core message.. [Sorsha speaking in the background] 00:05:06.320 --> 00:05:09.240 I don't know my core message, but I'm pretty sure what hers is 00:05:09.240 --> 00:05:12.060 Being a cu-- [Random Metal Gear Solid music again] 00:05:12.060 --> 00:05:15.680 For my core message, I need to show as much of my skin as possible. 00:05:15.680 --> 00:05:17.040 And wear yoga pants. 00:05:17.040 --> 00:05:22.260 [Sorsha] "So slutty" "Seriously what the fuck are you doing, go get a core message and make a positive impact on the planet 00:05:22.260 --> 00:05:27.040 She's insane! She's insane. I'm scared! She will murder me. 00:05:27.040 --> 00:05:30.820 [Sorsha] Go do it; carb the fuck up, harden the fuck up, and go get a core message-- 00:05:30.820 --> 00:05:31.420 What!? 00:05:31.420 --> 00:05:35.080 [Sorsha] That's making positive impact on the planet, go do it right NOW. (Like you deleting your channel?) 00:05:35.080 --> 00:05:36.680 [Muffled laughter] 00:05:36.720 --> 00:05:40.860 [Sorsha] Go, go! Stop watching this video, and go do it. Go do it! Go find a core message (Says the smart-ass, *Ba Dum Tss!, get it?, k, i gonna jump from the window now) 00:05:40.860 --> 00:05:44.340 That's making a positive impact on the planet. Go do it, noowww. (K, but give me your number first) 00:05:44.340 --> 00:05:46.860 Go now, you should be gone, why aren't you gone right now? 00:05:46.860 --> 00:05:51.500 Go do something positive to the planet, like, go vegan maybe? I don't know. (Because you know the secrets of the entire world and universe?) 00:05:51.520 --> 00:05:56.460 [Progressively less intelligible] It's not like going vegan isn't positive or anything like that, watch-- 00:05:56.560 --> 00:06:05.560 No. Go vegan and save the planet. [Claps] Go vegan. [Claps] 00:06:05.880 --> 00:06:08.780 Be nice to animals. [Claps] 00:06:08.920 --> 00:06:12.000 Treat people like shit. [Claps] 00:06:12.200 --> 00:06:16.280 I'm tw-- I'm twen--- I'm twenty percent better than you. [Claps] 00:06:16.840 --> 00:06:27.820 [Intense music] My name is Sorsha and I have.. nothing to define me as a human being. 00:06:28.000 --> 00:06:30.860 I have no actual personality... [chuckles] 00:06:31.160 --> 00:06:36.760 Or... anything that makes me stands out from the crowd, and [chuckles] 00:06:36.760 --> 00:06:40.920 I can't stand that fact about myself, 00:06:40.980 --> 00:06:45.360 so I've decided to... label myself as something 00:06:45.360 --> 00:06:48.440 [choking up] in an attempt to make me feel more valued. 00:06:48.440 --> 00:06:52.840 And, to make me feel superior over other people, 00:06:52.840 --> 00:06:57.520 I am telling them what a piece of fucking shit they are 00:06:57.520 --> 00:07:04.240 for not being up here with me, the superior being who has [laughs] 00:07:04.240 --> 00:07:08.960 levitated towards a higher being, and I... 00:07:08.960 --> 00:07:10.960 FUCKING HATE THE WORLD. [snorts] 00:07:11.200 --> 00:07:12.640 [Sorsha]: Carp the FUCK up! 00:07:12.640 --> 00:07:13.920 Oh my god- 00:07:13.920 --> 00:07:15.700 [Sorsha] Do it now. 00:07:15.700 --> 00:07:18.000 [Outro music] 00:07:18.140 --> 00:07:23.980 I love how she discovered that 10-minute mark thing. This is--this is making me so happy. 00:07:23.980 --> 00:07:26.380 This is what you did, YouTube. [laughs] 00:07:26.380 --> 00:07:30.660 This is the kinda shit that happens when people understand how the algorithm work. 00:07:30.740 --> 00:07:38.560 I like how she tells me to find my own core message, but really she's just telling me that I'm not a vegan and that I'm a piece of shit. [Laughs] 00:07:38.660 --> 00:07:42.440 Thank you very much for helping me find my core message. 00:07:42.440 --> 00:07:49.920 I will now go on and tell Michael, who's in the other room, what a piece of shit HE is, for not finding HIS core message. 00:07:49.960 --> 00:07:54.980 Now I would really appreciate that my 47 million subscribers-- first, you turn vegan, 00:07:54.980 --> 00:08:00.600 and then you find the person next to you , and you tell them that "you're a piece of shit who hasn't found their core message" 00:08:00.600 --> 00:08:04.660 Despite any kind of accomplishment or abilities that they may have, 00:08:04.660 --> 00:08:09.900 if they haven't found their core message, tell them that they need to fuckin' die. [Laughs] 00:08:09.900 --> 00:08:11.900 Tell them they need to find it 00:08:11.900 --> 00:08:13.900 or otherwise they're a piece of fucking shit 00:08:13.900 --> 00:08:15.900 and you are ten times better than them 00:08:15.900 --> 00:08:17.900 And also let's sample 00:08:17.900 --> 00:08:19.900 her yoga pants one more time 00:08:19.900 --> 00:08:21.900 Because she did that to me (so slutty) 00:08:21.900 --> 00:08:23.900 Thank you very much this has been a pleasure. 00:08:23.900 --> 00:08:25.900 Leave a like if you enjoyed. 00:08:25.900 --> 00:08:27.900 Ah, I'll do the brofist. I'll go out 00:08:27.900 --> 00:08:29.900 We'll add the thumbnail, that's how we do this 00:08:29.900 --> 00:08:31.900 *kiss hand* Thank you bros for watching. And as always, 00:08:31.900 --> 00:08:33.900 Stay awesome bros. 00:08:33.900 --> 00:08:35.900 00:08:35.900 --> 00:08:37.900 Wow, great. I knew he'd do this (Don't complain. This gives us time to write subtitles that should be marked as spam but aren't) 00:08:42.300 --> 00:08:44.140 So yeah, ***** here, (censoring username because shame on your self promotion) 00:08:44.140 --> 00:08:46.460 This Thumbnail is really exciting 00:08:46.460 --> 00:08:48.860 I mean, lets inspect this Thumbnail 00:08:48.860 --> 00:08:50.060 Lets begin! 00:08:50.060 --> 00:08:53.740 On the left side we see a feggit 00:08:53.740 --> 00:09:00.360 And on the other side (Hello it me) we see a Unknown Creature named "my mother" 00:09:00.360 --> 00:09:01.180 kewrjfaklsejhflksjdflkjfl 00:09:01.180 --> 00:09:02.740 Tiddy >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 00:09:02.760 --> 00:09:03.960 ( . Y . ) 00:09:03.980 --> 00:09:06.020 Oh hey free subtitle open. HI MOM HI DAD HI FRIEND 00:09:12.900 --> 00:09:30.160 get memed 00:09:30.160 --> 00:09:33.460 Wher is ur cor messig Wat's a voice messegeeee 00:09:33.460 --> 00:09:36.020 In all my years i've never seen such a lack of core message 00:09:36.020 --> 00:09:38.580 Why are still watching? Go. 00:09:38.600 --> 00:09:41.060 GO NOW! FIND YOU CORE MESSAGE! 00:09:41.060 --> 00:09:43.800 ( . Y . ) 00:09:43.800 --> 00:09:46.500 That counts for something 00:09:46.640 --> 00:09:49.180 Ugh I think I ate a bad omelette 00:09:49.180 --> 00:09:51.780 My core message is coming out 00:09:51.780 --> 00:09:54.360 * 00:09:54.360 --> 00:09:56.360 00:09:56.360 --> 00:09:58.360 Are we gonna 00:09:58.440 --> 00:10:00.360 disregard the fact that 00:10:00.360 --> 00:10:01.800 SHE IS SHOWING HER SHOULDERS (OH NO ANYTHING BUT THE SHOULDERS) 00:10:01.800 --> 00:10:04.260 We ARE GONNa have th ERECTIONS 00:10:04.260 --> 00:10:04.760 Shrek meme 420