WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en-GB 00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:02.280 OOH I KN--I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING! 00:00:02.320 --> 00:00:04.600 AND SHUSH SHUSH SHUSH, JUST SHUSHUSH 00:00:05.180 --> 00:00:08.140 This is exactly what I wanna do with my life, okay. 00:00:08.560 --> 00:00:10.800 This is exactly what I wanna do. 00:00:11.300 --> 00:00:12.180 NO, NO, NO, NO... 00:00:12.560 --> 00:00:14.320 I haven't run out of ideas. 00:00:14.560 --> 00:00:18.560 I got PLENTY o' ideas, in the backlog of videos to make, okay? 00:00:19.000 --> 00:00:21.620 It's a long, compiled list, of ideas. 00:00:21.820 --> 00:00:23.340 And I'm saving them... 00:00:24.340 --> 00:00:25.140 So today... 00:00:26.280 --> 00:00:27.080 So today... 00:00:27.920 --> 00:00:30.640 We are.. we're gonna play: Dating Games! 00:00:35.360 --> 00:00:36.160 DATING GAMES! 00:00:36.600 --> 00:00:37.580 I know how much you love them. 00:00:37.720 --> 00:00:38.340 So much 00:00:38.500 --> 00:00:39.000 How much? 00:00:39.520 --> 00:00:40.020 How mu 00:00:40.080 --> 00:00:40.640 How mu 00:00:40.640 --> 00:00:41.140 How mu 00:00:41.220 --> 00:00:41.720 How much? 00:00:41.880 --> 00:00:42.560 Oh.. 00:00:42.900 --> 00:00:43.400 Oh 00:00:43.920 --> 00:00:44.520 Well aren't you in luck... 00:00:44.640 --> 00:00:45.460 'Cause the first one... 00:00:46.680 --> 00:00:47.300 Is really good. 00:00:47.640 --> 00:00:52.340 Okay, so many of you guys, have suggested this... this game. 00:00:52.620 --> 00:00:53.320 It's called... 00:00:53.980 --> 00:00:55.820 see if I can record my screen. 00:00:55.820 --> 00:00:56.320 How do I...? 00:00:56.960 --> 00:00:57.840 How do I record my screen on the phone 00:01:09.160 --> 00:01:12.520 Okay, Google. How do I record my scr- 00:01:12.520 --> 00:01:14.580 MY HORSE PRINCE 00:01:22.520 --> 00:01:24.120 Is the horse calling me? 00:01:24.340 --> 00:01:25.300 *ring* *ring* 00:01:28.640 --> 00:01:29.140 Hello? 00:01:29.460 --> 00:01:33.120 OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH 00:01:33.560 --> 00:01:35.240 So in this game, oh my god. sub op SepLopesCardozo 00:01:35.740 --> 00:01:36.400 He's just doing it.. 00:01:37.420 --> 00:01:38.600 You click, and he gets.. 00:01:39.080 --> 00:01:40.500 "I kind of want some now" 00:01:41.420 --> 00:01:43.200 And she's not talking about the carrots 00:01:43.400 --> 00:01:43.900 AMIRITE 00:01:44.400 --> 00:01:48.960 (smoooooooth music plays) 00:01:49.120 --> 00:01:51.040 Okay we're out of energy now. 00:01:51.220 --> 00:01:52.820 Did he just poop one out? 00:01:53.580 --> 00:01:55.260 Okay, so let's talk to him. 00:01:55.840 --> 00:01:57.200 "Do you like ranches?" 00:02:07.420 --> 00:02:07.920 "I do!" 00:02:09.220 --> 00:02:10.600 *wheeze* 00:02:11.560 --> 00:02:12.480 Excellent! 00:02:12.560 --> 00:02:13.860 YESSSSS! 00:02:14.420 --> 00:02:15.840 Oh, what a relief! 00:02:16.280 --> 00:02:18.040 that we both like ranches. 00:02:18.060 --> 00:02:19.900 We're like a perfect match! 00:02:19.900 --> 00:02:21.120 Hey, let's talk to him again. 00:02:21.400 --> 00:02:23.220 "What do you think of carrots?" 00:02:31.840 --> 00:02:37.680 Y'know.. That...self-realisation of what the fuck you're doing in your life.. 00:02:37.680 --> 00:02:42.780 It hits you harder than anything, when you see yourself in the black, the black mirror... 00:02:43.040 --> 00:02:47.180 While playing a game and it loads. 00:02:47.180 --> 00:02:48.240 I WANNA DIE 00:02:48.240 --> 00:02:49.460 OH HE LEVELED UP!!! 00:02:49.960 --> 00:02:51.060 My god. 00:02:52.220 --> 00:02:54.220 "Your bond has grown stronger." 00:02:54.220 --> 00:02:56.620 "He sure did eat a whole lot today" 00:02:56.960 --> 00:02:58.560 "He eats like a horse.." 00:03:01.160 --> 00:03:05.820 OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD. 00:03:06.580 --> 00:03:09.840 WHAAAAAAAT IS THAT? 00:03:10.040 --> 00:03:12.360 He's just keep going, huh? PSSSHHH. [sic] 00:03:12.920 --> 00:03:14.140 MMMMMMMM 00:03:14.500 --> 00:03:16.480 THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD 00:03:16.480 --> 00:03:18.280 "Hey, slow down there, buddy!" 00:03:18.940 --> 00:03:19.800 "EEEK!" 00:03:20.500 --> 00:03:21.000 "THUD" 00:03:21.100 --> 00:03:21.600 Ooooh 00:03:22.620 --> 00:03:25.160 That's a good move; I'll remember that one for Marzia. 00:03:25.340 --> 00:03:26.760 HEY, HEY MARZIA 00:03:26.940 --> 00:03:29.160 (Pewds Imitating Marzia) "What is it Pudipiiii?" 00:03:29.880 --> 00:03:31.780 THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD THUD 00:03:32.360 --> 00:03:33.520 (Pewds Imitating Marzia) Eeeeh! 00:03:33.520 --> 00:03:34.520 I'm sorry, Marzia... 00:03:34.800 --> 00:03:38.640 OH MY FUCKING GOOODDDD! 00:03:38.840 --> 00:03:41.260 Mah pants are wet now, great, thank you. 00:03:44.260 --> 00:03:44.760 "Hey" 00:03:45.920 --> 00:03:46.720 "EEE (HUH)" 00:03:47.560 --> 00:03:49.000 "Whats happening?!" 00:03:49.620 --> 00:03:52.420 "Is this the thing you see in the movies?!" 00:03:52.940 --> 00:03:53.440 "SO" 00:03:55.320 --> 00:03:56.440 (PEWDS GULPING) 00:03:59.280 --> 00:04:01.040 Heh, Ahahahaha! 00:04:01.600 --> 00:04:03.500 "Will you be my owner?" 00:04:03.720 --> 00:04:04.840 "EEE, OKI" 00:04:04.840 --> 00:04:05.340 *WHEEZE* 00:04:07.060 --> 00:04:09.220 "What?? I didn´t even hesitate" 00:04:09.760 --> 00:04:10.260 Great! 00:04:11.220 --> 00:04:11.720 GREAT 00:04:12.340 --> 00:04:15.220 "Looking forward working with you owner" [sic] 00:04:15.540 --> 00:04:16.640 oh my god... 00:04:17.460 --> 00:04:18.260 What?! 00:04:22.140 --> 00:04:22.860 why?? 00:04:23.420 --> 00:04:23.920 why... 00:04:24.940 --> 00:04:26.380 I don't understand... 00:04:26.760 --> 00:04:28.480 *throws phone* I'll never play that game again. 00:04:28.800 --> 00:04:29.840 Stupid game 00:04:30.760 --> 00:04:33.480 Okay, moving on, to the next dating game. 00:04:33.900 --> 00:04:34.840 I know what you're thinking. 00:04:34.840 --> 00:04:36.920 "OH THAT WAS A GOOD VIDEO PEWDS" 00:04:36.920 --> 00:04:38.220 OH, IT AIN'T OVER YET, BABY 00:04:38.900 --> 00:04:41.620 We got more, we got-- I got dating games, FOR DAYS! 00:04:41.620 --> 00:04:44.660 Now this is one, that I've been playing for a very long time. 00:04:44.660 --> 00:04:47.540 I've sunken about 500 hours into this game... 00:04:47.540 --> 00:04:49.740 It's called "You've been caught!" 00:04:50.220 --> 00:04:54.700 That's a lie, it's called (laugh), it's called "Emma cheating Liam" 00:04:55.460 --> 00:04:59.900 So Emma loves Liam, but she's dating this other guy. 00:05:00.420 --> 00:05:02.900 Okay, so we gotta love him, like this. 00:05:04.600 --> 00:05:06.360 Love 'im real FUCKIN' hard 00:05:06.360 --> 00:05:07.260 Oh he's lookin' 00:05:07.280 --> 00:05:11.220 Next one... OH MY GOD, that is not very subtle, is it? 00:05:12.140 --> 00:05:14.420 (laugh) Oh, he's super pissed. 00:05:15.580 --> 00:05:17.260 Why is she crying, bitch? 00:05:17.520 --> 00:05:18.020 Sorry 00:05:18.040 --> 00:05:19.740 What is this game teaching kids? 00:05:19.880 --> 00:05:22.920 (Pewds imitating other guy) "Ayy, what are you guys makin' up-- or makin' out or some shit? 00:05:22.920 --> 00:05:24.240 (Pewds imitating Emma) "No, I'm just playing makeup" 00:05:24.240 --> 00:05:25.980 AAAABLBLLBLBLBLBLBLLBBLL 00:05:26.100 --> 00:05:29.460 *Pewds slurping very moistly and gagging* 00:05:29.740 --> 00:05:30.840 Poor guy... Poor guy 00:05:31.300 --> 00:05:35.980 Love is in the air, everyone! Love is in the air! 00:05:36.720 --> 00:05:37.840 I am lov-- OH MY GOD 00:05:38.440 --> 00:05:39.880 What, that was it...? 00:05:41.900 --> 00:05:43.100 Th-- Okay, that was it. 00:05:43.100 --> 00:05:44.700 And he's crying in the back... 00:05:44.920 --> 00:05:49.000 Listen, I know you're lonely, I know you don't have a... friend. 00:05:49.060 --> 00:05:52.260 I'll-- I'll help you, just follow these games! 00:05:53.960 --> 00:05:57.560 Ohhhh, this one has a funky tune, I li-- I like this one a lot 00:05:58.400 --> 00:05:59.920 "Catch your chance!" 00:06:00.460 --> 00:06:03.280 Ok, well, how about we start with the first date! 00:06:03.820 --> 00:06:09.440 "First date", excellent, "3, 2, 1. Catch your chance." 00:06:10.860 --> 00:06:13.660 What is happening? Am I controlling this? 00:06:13.660 --> 00:06:15.060 Oh, I am! Okay, how? 00:06:15.720 --> 00:06:16.920 Okay I-- 00:06:19.560 --> 00:06:24.920 I, (laughs), Smooth mov--! (laughs) 00:06:24.920 --> 00:06:27.980 (laughing) Okay, I'm controlling this 00:06:28.260 --> 00:06:31.620 Oh, look at this guy, Mr. Cool, Mr. Smooth over here! 00:06:32.280 --> 00:06:35.080 Tryna get around this lady, in the cinema! 00:06:35.360 --> 00:06:38.240 Alright, we got the stars, now let's move in for the shoulder touch. 00:06:39.140 --> 00:06:44.920 Oh my god! Fuck yeah, (wheeze laugh) Hell yeah! 00:06:45.640 --> 00:06:48.760 Now, if I was only as smooth as Mr. Slippy over here. 00:06:48.760 --> 00:06:51.200 Alright, "Scratch that itch" is the next one. 00:06:51.200 --> 00:06:55.040 Okay, alright, this might be difficult, but I'll do my best! 00:06:55.840 --> 00:07:00.880 Alright, I wish his-- I'm curious if his other parts are the same like this. [sic] 00:07:00.960 --> 00:07:02.960 I can only... imagine 00:07:12.080 --> 00:07:13.580 (swooping sounds) 00:07:20.200 --> 00:07:20.700 Oh! 00:07:21.120 --> 00:07:25.360 Am I actually supposed to-- Oh my god. 00:07:26.580 --> 00:07:27.140 "You lose"? 00:07:27.140 --> 00:07:31.700 Well, that's in the e-- the eye of the owner [sic, beholder], you know what I mean? 00:07:38.500 --> 00:07:40.900 I am 27 years old... (laugh) 00:07:40.900 --> 00:07:44.960 You know, she's pretty hot for Slippy, so we gotta ma-- we gotta make sure we do this right. 00:07:44.960 --> 00:07:47.360 There we go, thanks for moving your feet, honey. 00:07:49.100 --> 00:07:52.300 Oh, probably under my feet as well, okay got it. 00:07:52.580 --> 00:07:59.200 Then what? What the-- How long is my arm? (laughing) I'm gonna itch myself. Oh that's brilliant! 00:07:59.700 --> 00:08:03.020 This is how I do it, too. It's-- it's a normal, standard procedure. 00:08:03.020 --> 00:08:05.120 Here we go, don't fuck this up. 00:08:06.000 --> 00:08:12.220 Ohh, that (laughs). She's like "What the fuck is wrong wi--?" (trails off) 00:08:12.340 --> 00:08:15.540 I-- I actually unironically itched myself. J-Jesus Christ. 00:08:16.020 --> 00:08:21.420 Okay, we have two more levels, we gotta "impress mom", that's fine. "Impress HER mom". 00:08:22.260 --> 00:08:23.940 Well, this should be easy. 00:08:23.940 --> 00:08:28.740 The music really helps with-- Oh god, she's not impressed, is she? What is she, Marge Simpson? 00:08:29.200 --> 00:08:31.220 Oh that's a... bird. 00:08:31.800 --> 00:08:35.540 Now let's swooze in, baby! How you doin', girl? 00:08:35.620 --> 00:08:41.420 That's real smooth, that's real fuckin' smooth! If I only played this game when I was a kid. [sic] 00:08:41.660 --> 00:08:44.240 Oh, lemme tell ya, things would be different! 00:08:44.240 --> 00:08:46.320 "Tongue tied", what the fuck is that? 00:08:47.360 --> 00:08:48.480 Tongue tied... 00:08:48.840 --> 00:08:56.640 (smooth music) 00:08:57.040 --> 00:08:57.880 No... 00:08:58.060 --> 00:09:07.440 Oh. My. God. Oh, her vagina better b-- oh my god, oh my god! 00:09:07.440 --> 00:09:18.820 I-- No-- I don't know about this. Ahh, this is some weird hentai shit, man. (laughs) 00:09:19.080 --> 00:09:29.520 Oh, what a beautiful ending! (laughs) I know what you're thinking, and I'm thinkin' the same thing. 00:09:29.960 --> 00:09:34.280 On 3... BEST FUCKING G-- 00:09:41.440 --> 00:09:42.160 SH- SHUT UP 00:09:42.260 --> 00:09:44.480 (trumpet tune) 00:09:44.920 --> 00:09:49.120 (laughing) Naruto dating sim 00:09:49.120 --> 00:09:58.320 (sings in Japanese, along to the song) 00:10:00.680 --> 00:10:03.820 LALALALALALA 00:10:03.820 --> 00:10:07.160 (screaming) 00:10:07.640 --> 00:10:09.520 Ohhhh m--, 00:10:12.060 --> 00:10:14.060 (sexy voice) "What do you think of Naruto?" 00:10:18.600 --> 00:10:22.720 "I prefer not to think of Naruto." Okay. 00:10:22.940 --> 00:10:27.500 'S that Cry? I swear that's fuckin' Cry! 00:10:27.500 --> 00:10:29.840 (in-game, woman) Let's go talk somewhere more... private 00:10:30.460 --> 00:10:31.340 (in-game, man) Okay 00:10:31.340 --> 00:10:33.020 "Space to get closer" 00:10:34.320 --> 00:10:37.920 (creepy music) 00:10:38.020 --> 00:10:46.420 oh my god (4x) 00:10:46.420 --> 00:10:48.420 (laughs) 00:10:48.620 --> 00:10:59.000 She has herpes! "TAP SPACE TO RUN!" (tapping) OHHH AHHH 00:10:59.060 --> 00:11:03.160 AHHHH, "RUN WITH THE ARROW KE--" FUCK, shyu-- you have herpes 00:11:03.160 --> 00:11:03.660 Shiiit... 00:11:03.840 --> 00:11:05.680 "Up to jump." 00:11:05.680 --> 00:11:07.400 Why am I playing this? 00:11:07.400 --> 00:11:09.480 I don't know how to deal with this. 00:11:09.740 --> 00:11:17.300 (mumbling something) Ok-- you're dead. (laughs) 00:11:17.300 --> 00:11:18.400 For fuck's sake. 00:11:24.320 --> 00:11:26.820 I can't stop playing this fucking game. 00:11:26.820 --> 00:11:29.860 Well, I think we learned a lot here today, and the lesson is to-- 00:11:29.860 --> 00:11:33.820 WATCH ANOTHER VIDEO, of Pewdiepie and leave a like if you enjoyed. 00:11:33.820 --> 00:11:35.780 Thank you guys so much for watching, and I'll see you bros 00:11:35.780 --> 00:11:40.880 in-- uhh, ho-- good luck with your dating endeavours, and I'll see you, in the next one. 00:11:40.900 --> 00:11:44.480 As always: stay awesome, bros 00:11:45.480 --> 00:11:46.580 Y'know.... 00:11:46.580 --> 00:11:49.480 Lemme just take this time to say that I would date you... 00:11:49.480 --> 00:11:51.480 ...if you weren't so ugl--