WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.200
*satanic groans* Ugghghg I- I know what you're thinking

00:00:02.200 --> 00:00:03.640
And shu- shush shussh

00:00:04.160 --> 00:00:05.280
Just shh sh shhsh

00:00:05.560 --> 00:00:08.680
This is exactly what I wanna do with my life, ok?

00:00:09.280 --> 00:00:11.280
This is exactly what I wanna do

00:00:11.280 --> 00:00:12.900
No, no, nO, NO

00:00:12.920 --> 00:00:14.640
I haven't run out of ideas [sure]

00:00:14.640 --> 00:00:18.380
I got plenty ideas in the backlog of videos to make, ok?

00:00:18.540 --> 00:00:21.780
It's a long compiled list of ideas

00:00:21.940 --> 00:00:23.860
And I'm saving them *weird sniff laugh*

00:00:23.860 --> 00:00:25.460
So tod-*weird cough laugh*-ay

00:00:25.460 --> 00:00:26.800
So-bu-uh [u ok]

00:00:26.800 --> 00:00:29.000
So today *war flashback [jk]*

00:00:29.360 --> 00:00:31.360
We're gonna play dating games

00:00:31.620 --> 00:00:35.380
*dating music*

00:00:35.660 --> 00:00:36.560
*shouts* DATING GAMES [jEsus chrishfsdjn]

00:00:37.200 --> 00:00:39.600
I know how much you love them, so much

00:00:39.600 --> 00:00:41.860
How much? How m- how m- how m- how much?

00:00:43.260 --> 00:00:48.060
Oh, oh, well aren't you in luck cause the first one... is really good, ok?

00:00:48.380 --> 00:00:52.460
So many of you guys have suggested this- this game

00:00:52.460 --> 00:00:55.820
It's called- let's see if I can record my screen...

00:00:55.820 --> 00:00:56.900
How do I- *jingle plays from phone*

00:00:56.900 --> 00:00:59.200
Record my screen on a phone

00:00:59.400 --> 00:01:01.820
*unending silence*

00:01:01.820 --> 00:01:03.820
pewds sinking into existential despair

00:01:03.840 --> 00:01:04.560
[help him]

00:01:05.780 --> 00:01:06.980
*another jingle*

00:01:09.020 --> 00:01:10.000
Ok Google

00:01:10.140 --> 00:01:10.640
[salvation at last]

00:01:10.840 --> 00:01:12.260
How do I record my scree-

00:01:12.320 --> 00:01:14.180
My Horse.. Prince!

00:01:14.580 --> 00:01:16.180
*happy music*

00:01:17.460 --> 00:01:18.520
*horror*

00:01:21.860 --> 00:01:22.820
*phone calls*

00:01:22.900 --> 00:01:24.500
Is the horse calling me? [yes pewds]

00:01:28.900 --> 00:01:29.700
Hello?

00:01:29.700 --> 00:01:33.280
ooooOOOOOOOOOoooooohhhhhh

00:01:33.500 --> 00:01:35.240
So in this game- oh my god

00:01:35.640 --> 00:01:36.840
He's just doing it

00:01:36.920 --> 00:01:40.680
You click and he gets- "I kind of want some now"

00:01:41.560 --> 00:01:43.940
And she's not talking about the carrots, am I right? [quality comedy]

00:01:44.720 --> 00:01:48.540
*country music*

00:01:48.960 --> 00:01:50.800
Ok we're out of energy now

00:01:51.220 --> 00:01:52.900
Did he just poop one out? [what is life]

00:01:53.200 --> 00:01:55.260
Ok, so let's talk to him

00:01:55.560 --> 00:01:57.060
"Do you like ranches?"

00:02:02.560 --> 00:02:05.260
*deep contemplation*

00:02:07.340 --> 00:02:08.220
I do

00:02:08.360 --> 00:02:09.080
*man horse prince excitedly twitches*

00:02:09.300 --> 00:02:10.900
*laughs*

00:02:11.360 --> 00:02:13.840
Excellent! Ye-es!!

00:02:14.200 --> 00:02:18.160
Ohh, what a relief that we both like ranches

00:02:18.160 --> 00:02:19.920
We're like a perfect match

00:02:19.920 --> 00:02:23.280
Hey, let's talk to him again... "What do you think of carrots?"

00:02:25.420 --> 00:02:27.420
*more deep contemplation*

00:02:31.780 --> 00:02:36.980
You know... that... self realization of what the fuck you're doing with your life?

00:02:37.440 --> 00:02:42.840
It hits you harder than anything when you see yourself in the black... the black mirror

00:02:43.680 --> 00:02:46.720
While playing a game and it loads...

00:02:47.160 --> 00:02:47.840
I wanna die.

00:02:47.840 --> 00:02:48.340
[same]

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Oh we leveled up!

00:02:50.240 --> 00:02:54.120
My god... "Your bond has grown stronger."

00:02:54.380 --> 00:02:58.820
"He sure did eat a whole lot today." "He eats like a horse."

00:02:59.880 --> 00:03:00.680
*rly*

00:03:01.140 --> 00:03:06.060
Ohh... my... fucking god

00:03:06.560 --> 00:03:09.480
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat is that

00:03:09.480 --> 00:03:12.480
He's just keep going, huh [what] *laughs*

00:03:12.860 --> 00:03:14.280
*wheeze*

00:03:14.640 --> 00:03:16.480
THUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUD

00:03:16.480 --> 00:03:18.640
"Hey, slow down there, buddy!"

00:03:19.000 --> 00:03:19.920
"Eeek!"

00:03:20.620 --> 00:03:21.840
THUD- ooh

00:03:22.380 --> 00:03:25.060
That's a good move, I'll remember that one for Marzia

00:03:25.060 --> 00:03:26.180
Hey- Hey Marzia!

00:03:26.600 --> 00:03:29.060
*high pitched voice* What is it Pewdiepie?

00:03:29.060 --> 00:03:32.460
THUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUDTHU-

00:03:32.460 --> 00:03:33.440
*high pitched voice* eeee

00:03:33.780 --> 00:03:34.700
...I'm sorry Marzia

00:03:34.700 --> 00:03:38.300
OHH MYYY FUCKING GOD

00:03:38.800 --> 00:03:41.520
My... pants are wet now, great, thank you

00:03:43.420 --> 00:03:44.940
*gruff voice* "Hey..."

00:03:45.440 --> 00:03:48.860
*high pitched voice* "Ehh? What's happening"

00:03:50.200 --> 00:03:53.000
"Is this that thing you see in the movies?"

00:03:53.000 --> 00:03:53.980
*gruff voice* "So...*gulp*"

00:03:59.340 --> 00:04:01.160
*laughs*

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*gruff voice* "Will you be my owner?"

00:04:03.320 --> 00:04:04.860
*high pitched voice* Eee, ok

00:04:05.880 --> 00:04:08.980
*high pitched voice* "What??? I didn't even hesitate"

00:04:09.640 --> 00:04:15.080
*gruff voice* "great... Great. Looking forward to working with you owner!"

00:04:15.320 --> 00:04:16.700
Ohh my god

00:04:17.320 --> 00:04:18.200
What?!

00:04:21.860 --> 00:04:22.680
Why?

00:04:23.040 --> 00:04:24.300
Why...

00:04:24.920 --> 00:04:26.400
I don't understand

00:04:26.660 --> 00:04:28.980
I'll never play that game again [uh huh]

00:04:29.220 --> 00:04:30.020
Stupid game

00:04:30.300 --> 00:04:33.960
Okay, moving on to the next dating game

00:04:33.960 --> 00:04:38.420
I know what you're thinking; "Ooh that was a good video Pewds!" Oh it ain't over yet baby

00:04:38.420 --> 00:04:41.960
We got more- we got- I got dating games for days

00:04:41.960 --> 00:04:44.760
Now this is one I've been playing for a very long time

00:04:44.760 --> 00:04:47.460
I've sunken about five hundred hours into this game

00:04:47.500 --> 00:04:49.580
It's called You've Been Caught

00:04:50.560 --> 00:04:54.920
That's a lie, it's call- *laughs* It's called Emma Cheating Liam

00:04:55.220 --> 00:04:59.980
So... Emma loves Liam, but she's dating this other guy [:O]

00:05:00.100 --> 00:05:06.120
Ok, so we gotta love him... like this... love him real fuckin' hard

00:05:06.240 --> 00:05:07.280
Oh he's looking

00:05:07.280 --> 00:05:07.780
Next one

00:05:08.480 --> 00:05:11.560
Oh my god, that is not very subtle, is it?

00:05:11.820 --> 00:05:12.760
*laughs*

00:05:13.400 --> 00:05:14.980
Oh he's super pissed

00:05:15.400 --> 00:05:17.880
Why is she crying? Bitch. Sorry

00:05:17.880 --> 00:05:19.920
What is this game teaching kids?!

00:05:19.920 --> 00:05:23.060
*gruff voice* "Eyy what are you guys making up- making out or some shit?"

00:05:23.060 --> 00:05:26.020
*high pitched voice* "No I'm just playing make up [what] *weird tongue noises* bloblobloblobblbobloblbob

00:05:26.580 --> 00:05:28.040
*sucking noises*

00:05:28.320 --> 00:05:29.680
*choking*

00:05:29.680 --> 00:05:34.220
Poor guy... poor guy- Love is in the air everyone

00:05:34.420 --> 00:05:36.260
Love is in the air *punches desk*

00:05:36.460 --> 00:05:39.420
I am lov- oh my god... what that was it?

00:05:41.900 --> 00:05:43.340
Tha- okay, that was it

00:05:43.340 --> 00:05:44.700
And he's crying in the back

00:05:44.840 --> 00:05:49.000
Listen, I know you're lonely, I know you don't have a friend

00:05:49.120 --> 00:05:52.620
I'll- I'll help you, just follow these games

00:05:53.800 --> 00:05:58.160
Ooohh, this one has a funky tune, I li- I like this one a lot

00:05:58.300 --> 00:05:59.980
Catch your chance!

00:06:00.220 --> 00:06:02.980
Okay well how about we start with the first date!

00:06:03.560 --> 00:06:05.240
First date, excellent

00:06:05.240 --> 00:06:07.300
3, 2, 1...

00:06:07.580 --> 00:06:09.920
Catch your chance

00:06:11.160 --> 00:06:12.600
... What is happening

00:06:12.600 --> 00:06:14.080
Am I controlling this? Oh, I am

00:06:14.080 --> 00:06:15.480
Ok, how [gee I wonder]

00:06:15.600 --> 00:06:16.680
Ok, I-

00:06:19.640 --> 00:06:20.580
I- *laughs

00:06:20.980 --> 00:06:23.020
smooth move- *laughs*

00:06:23.480 --> 00:06:27.940
*laughing* Ok, I'm controlling this arm

00:06:28.340 --> 00:06:32.200
Oh, look at this guy, Mr. Cool, Mr. Smooth over here

00:06:32.360 --> 00:06:35.020
Tryna get around this lady in the cinema

00:06:35.140 --> 00:06:38.960
Alright, we got the stars, now let's move in for the shoulder touch

00:06:39.200 --> 00:06:42.340
Ohhh my god, fuck yeah!

00:06:43.020 --> 00:06:43.900
Hell yeah!

00:06:44.040 --> 00:06:45.420
Hell yeah

00:06:45.620 --> 00:06:48.740
Now if I was only as smooth as Mr Slippy over here

00:06:48.740 --> 00:06:51.160
Alright, scratch that itch is the next one

00:06:51.300 --> 00:06:55.420
Okay, alright, this might be difficult, but I'll do my best

00:06:55.500 --> 00:07:00.620
Alright, I wish his- I'm curious if his other parts are the same like this

00:07:00.720 --> 00:07:02.980
I can only imagine

00:07:03.160 --> 00:07:03.660
[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

00:07:03.680 --> 00:07:05.080
*intense action music*

00:07:06.940 --> 00:07:08.380
Oh

00:07:10.700 --> 00:07:11.880
*more intense music*

00:07:14.720 --> 00:07:15.660
*even more intense music*

00:07:19.960 --> 00:07:20.460
[really tryna hit that 10 min mark huh]

00:07:21.940 --> 00:07:24.180
Am I actually suppose to- oh my god

00:07:26.260 --> 00:07:31.680
You lose? Well, that's in the, uh, the eye of the owner, you know what I mean?

00:07:34.080 --> 00:07:35.280
*suffering look*

00:07:37.920 --> 00:07:40.700
I am twenty seven year old. *laughs*

00:07:40.700 --> 00:07:45.580
You know, she's pretty hot for Slippy, so we gotta make- we gotta make sure we do this right

00:07:45.580 --> 00:07:47.220
There we go, thanks for moving your feet, honey

00:07:49.020 --> 00:07:52.380
Oh, probably under my feet as well, okay, got it

00:07:52.420 --> 00:07:53.140
Then what?

00:07:53.140 --> 00:07:55.140
What the- how long is my arm?

00:07:55.140 --> 00:07:57.440
*laughs* I'm gonna itch myself

00:07:57.700 --> 00:07:59.380
Ah, that's brilliant

00:07:59.380 --> 00:08:02.920
This is how I do it too, it's- it's a normal standard procedure

00:08:02.920 --> 00:08:04.560
Here we go, don't fuck this up

00:08:05.800 --> 00:08:07.320
Aw, that- *laughs*

00:08:08.940 --> 00:08:12.080
She's like, "what the fuck is wrong with him"

00:08:12.340 --> 00:08:15.020
I- I actually unironically itched myself!

00:08:15.020 --> 00:08:15.900
Jesus christ

00:08:15.900 --> 00:08:17.680
Okay, we have two more levels

00:08:17.680 --> 00:08:20.040
We gotta impress mom, that's fine

00:08:20.060 --> 00:08:21.580
Impress her mom

00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:23.880
Well, this should be easy

00:08:23.880 --> 00:08:27.200
The music really helps with- oh god she is not impressed, is she

00:08:27.200 --> 00:08:28.720
What is she, Marge Simpson?

00:08:28.720 --> 00:08:31.260
Oh that's a... bird

00:08:31.800 --> 00:08:34.260
Now let's swooze in baby! [what]

00:08:34.420 --> 00:08:35.940
How you doin', girl?

00:08:36.080 --> 00:08:37.360
That's real smooth

00:08:37.360 --> 00:08:39.000
That's real fuckin' smooth

00:08:39.000 --> 00:08:41.400
If I only played this game when I was a kid

00:08:41.400 --> 00:08:44.100
Oh, let me tell you, things would be different

00:08:44.100 --> 00:08:46.140
Tongue tied, what the fuck is that

00:08:47.400 --> 00:08:48.360
Tongue tied...

00:08:49.100 --> 00:08:50.880
*sexy music*

00:08:54.160 --> 00:08:55.720
*"are you fucking kidding me" look*

00:08:57.000 --> 00:08:57.500
No

00:08:58.660 --> 00:09:02.440
Oh... my... god.

00:09:03.140 --> 00:09:03.640
Oh

00:09:04.520 --> 00:09:06.520
Her vagina better be- oh my god

00:09:06.520 --> 00:09:08.360
Oh my god- uh, no

00:09:08.920 --> 00:09:10.620
I don't know about this

00:09:11.480 --> 00:09:14.220
Ah, this is some weird hentai shit, man

00:09:14.220 --> 00:09:14.720
[he would know]

00:09:15.420 --> 00:09:17.040
*laughs*

00:09:18.420 --> 00:09:18.920
*clap*

00:09:19.080 --> 00:09:22.520
Ohh, what a beautiful ending

00:09:22.520 --> 00:09:24.060
*continues laughing*

00:09:25.380 --> 00:09:27.220
I know what you're thinking

00:09:27.460 --> 00:09:29.540
And I'm thinking the same thing

00:09:30.680 --> 00:09:31.660
On 3?

00:09:32.720 --> 00:09:33.800
Best fuckin gam- *cuts off*

00:09:37.300 --> 00:09:40.260
*playing man horse boyfriend monster game*

00:09:40.800 --> 00:09:42.320
Sh- cgh- shut up

00:09:44.840 --> 00:09:48.720
Naruto dating sim? *laughs*

00:09:48.920 --> 00:09:50.320
*song begins*

00:09:50.320 --> 00:09:51.800
*begins singing along*

00:09:54.020 --> 00:09:54.820
[idk]

00:09:59.980 --> 00:10:01.500
*another song begins*

00:10:01.500 --> 00:10:03.160
*starts singing to that too*

00:10:04.600 --> 00:10:07.200
*unintelligible screaming*

00:10:07.640 --> 00:10:09.520
Ohhhhhh my-

00:10:10.940 --> 00:10:14.060
*while stripping* What do you think of Naruto?

00:10:18.960 --> 00:10:21.200
I prefer not to think of Naruto

00:10:21.940 --> 00:10:22.880
Okay.

00:10:23.280 --> 00:10:24.160
Is that Cry?!

00:10:24.160 --> 00:10:24.660
*compilation of Cry gasping* [i think]

00:10:24.660 --> 00:10:25.740
[lmao]

00:10:25.740 --> 00:10:27.440
I swear that's fucking Cry

00:10:27.440 --> 00:10:29.640
Female character: "Let's go talk somewhere more... private"

00:10:30.420 --> 00:10:31.560
Male character: "Okay"

00:10:31.880 --> 00:10:33.160
Space to get closer

00:10:36.400 --> 00:10:37.440
*demon noises*

00:10:37.900 --> 00:10:39.020
Oh my god

00:10:40.520 --> 00:10:41.840
Oh my god

00:10:42.680 --> 00:10:43.800
Oh my god

00:10:44.680 --> 00:10:46.740
Oh. My. God. *laughs*

00:10:48.860 --> 00:10:50.360
She has herpes

00:10:50.360 --> 00:10:51.480
Tap space to run!

00:10:51.620 --> 00:10:53.220
*furiously taps space*

00:10:56.300 --> 00:10:57.380
*yells*

00:10:58.840 --> 00:11:01.160
AHH- RUN WITH THE ARROW KE- FUUCK

00:11:01.160 --> 00:11:02.820
SH-YOU- You have herpes

00:11:03.060 --> 00:11:03.840
Shit

00:11:04.120 --> 00:11:05.260
Up to jump

00:11:05.980 --> 00:11:07.420
Why am I playing this?

00:11:08.020 --> 00:11:09.920
I don't know how to deal with this

00:11:12.960 --> 00:11:16.580
Okay.. You are dead *laughs*

00:11:16.960 --> 00:11:18.780
Ah- for fuck's sake

00:11:19.960 --> 00:11:21.520
*playing horse boyfriend game*

00:11:22.940 --> 00:11:23.440
[why]

00:11:24.460 --> 00:11:26.780
I can't stop playing this fucking game

00:11:26.780 --> 00:11:31.320
Well, I think we learned a lot here today and the lesson is to.. watch another video! [smooth]

00:11:31.320 --> 00:11:32.460
Of Pewdiepie

00:11:32.640 --> 00:11:34.380
And leave a like if you enjoyed

00:11:34.380 --> 00:11:37.120
Thank you guys so much for watching, and I'll see you bros in- uh- hu- uh- [stroke?]

00:11:37.120 --> 00:11:41.040
Good luck with your dating endeavours, and I'll see you in the next one

00:11:41.040 --> 00:11:45.040
As always, stay awesome bros

00:11:45.720 --> 00:11:50.440
You know, let me just take this time to say that I would date you if you weren't so ugly