WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en-GB 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.000 I am the first one to have ever played this game before. 00:00:03.180 --> 00:00:04.500 You are in great luck. 00:00:04.800 --> 00:00:07.460 This game is gonna be so f*cking good. 00:00:07.460 --> 00:00:09.160 You can tell just by looking at it. 00:00:09.160 --> 00:00:09.660 Oh 00:00:09.840 --> 00:00:10.340 My 00:00:10.620 --> 00:00:11.180 F*cking 00:00:11.260 --> 00:00:11.760 God. 00:00:11.760 --> 00:00:13.740 I am so excited to play this game. 00:00:13.740 --> 00:00:19.720 I'm sure that everyone who played this game is playing it because they think it's a really good game and not because they gonna get a lot of clicks on YouTube 00:00:19.720 --> 00:00:24.140 because of the title of the game and you tell me right now that that is not a copy of me. 00:00:24.140 --> 00:00:26.680 They're using my likeness for this f*cking shit! 00:00:26.680 --> 00:00:29.740 How did they even get away with using "YouTubers" in the title?! 00:00:29.740 --> 00:00:31.420 Why are they blurring the gameplay?! 00:00:31.420 --> 00:00:33.700 What is it, some fucking porn he's looking at?! 00:00:33.920 --> 00:00:35.320 New game PLEASE! 00:00:35.540 --> 00:00:37.140 "Finally I've made it..." 00:00:37.220 --> 00:00:39.380 "I'm the most popular YouTuber." 00:00:39.480 --> 00:00:41.400 THIS GAME IS PLAGIARIZING! 00:00:41.540 --> 00:00:43.360 It's been a long hard trip 00:00:43.800 --> 00:00:44.300 No it- 00:00:44.980 --> 00:00:47.200 I just uploaded some videos and people watched it. 00:00:47.620 --> 00:00:48.560 It's not that big of a deal... 00:00:48.600 --> 00:00:49.960 Alright! Well let's create Pewdiepie... 00:00:52.680 --> 00:00:53.260 Now that's... 00:00:53.260 --> 00:00:55.900 I don't have to change anything, just need to change the eye colour. 00:00:55.900 --> 00:00:57.360 And I have a beard now so... 00:00:57.360 --> 00:00:58.400 Personality... 00:00:58.680 --> 00:00:59.240 Well... 00:00:59.380 --> 00:01:00.020 That one? 00:01:00.280 --> 00:01:01.080 That one..? 00:01:01.080 --> 00:01:02.100 No, not that one... 00:01:02.560 --> 00:01:05.520 Aaand that one... And that one, and that one. 00:01:05.520 --> 00:01:07.120 'Kay, we're gonna do a gameplay video. 00:01:11.460 --> 00:01:12.900 What the f*ck is this? 00:01:12.900 --> 00:01:14.680 Alright, what should we call the video? 00:01:14.780 --> 00:01:15.880 Big ass booty... 00:01:16.540 --> 00:01:17.780 Sex tape... 00:01:18.120 --> 00:01:18.980 Pewdiepie 00:01:18.980 --> 00:01:20.960 Okay, there we are making the gameplay 00:01:20.960 --> 00:01:21.960 What am I doing..? 00:01:22.760 --> 00:01:24.520 I'm choosing reactions... 00:01:24.520 --> 00:01:25.020 Okay... 00:01:26.100 --> 00:01:27.400 "Unfunny comment." 00:01:27.460 --> 00:01:28.240 *chuckles* 00:01:28.240 --> 00:01:33.020 (awkward silence) 00:01:33.020 --> 00:01:34.700 F*ck you game. *chuckles* 00:01:34.700 --> 00:01:36.140 What are you trying to tell me here? 00:01:36.140 --> 00:01:37.540 Alright, so we have to edit the video... 00:01:37.680 --> 00:01:38.180 Okay... 00:01:38.580 --> 00:01:40.140 Let's add some colouring and- 00:01:40.140 --> 00:01:42.300 Add a funny title there... 00:01:42.820 --> 00:01:44.340 Oh boy, this is gonna be a great video. 00:01:44.600 --> 00:01:45.320 "Acting"? 00:01:45.320 --> 00:01:46.880 What are you telling me here?! 00:01:46.880 --> 00:01:48.480 This is the life of a YouTuber right here. 00:01:49.340 --> 00:01:50.820 It's pretty much it in a nutshell... 00:01:51.080 --> 00:01:54.420 Ok, we can sellout... Accept an order for at least- 00:01:55.000 --> 00:01:55.500 Okay. 00:01:56.200 --> 00:01:59.020 Sellout is definitely a huge part of being a YouTuber. 00:01:59.140 --> 00:02:01.200 We're gonna play giant soccer... 00:02:02.300 --> 00:02:02.960 Start a video 00:02:02.960 --> 00:02:04.360 We're gonna do a gameplay. 00:02:04.360 --> 00:02:06.160 God, this game is boring me to death... 00:02:06.160 --> 00:02:06.760 Go make the video! 00:02:06.760 --> 00:02:08.020 What am I doing to the game?! 00:02:08.900 --> 00:02:09.960 F*cking kissing it?! 00:02:10.260 --> 00:02:13.000 Come on game, please, I need the views. 00:02:13.260 --> 00:02:15.400 No one's covered "Gorilla Soccer 2" yet! 00:02:15.540 --> 00:02:16.980 This is gonna be a great one. 00:02:17.260 --> 00:02:18.480 This is gonna be the winner! 00:02:18.500 --> 00:02:23.980 Insane gorilla takes bath of Brofist with me. 00:02:24.320 --> 00:02:25.060 Okay, that's it. 00:02:25.060 --> 00:02:27.300 Ayy, we got six subscribers! 24 views! 00:02:27.880 --> 00:02:28.380 MUM! 00:02:28.820 --> 00:02:30.380 Get the f*ck out, mum! 00:02:30.420 --> 00:02:31.780 I'm busy staring at my closet! 00:02:32.440 --> 00:02:34.760 School called me and you've missed a lot of classes. 00:02:35.540 --> 00:02:36.440 F*ck you, mum! 00:02:36.440 --> 00:02:38.640 I'm gonna be a YouTuber one day, Mum! *with a sassy voice kinda* 00:02:38.940 --> 00:02:40.200 We can look at the comments. 00:02:40.580 --> 00:02:42.400 "I loved watching this gameplay!" 00:02:43.020 --> 00:02:47.380 "I can't believe that a self-proclaimed YouTuber is this bad at editing." 00:02:47.380 --> 00:02:50.220 "Take some classes for the sake of your own users." 00:02:50.220 --> 00:02:52.220 *inhales sharply* ALLYSON, YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT! 00:02:52.220 --> 00:02:53.280 F*CK YOU! 00:02:53.400 --> 00:02:55.400 What are you wearing? You look like trash! 00:02:55.760 --> 00:02:57.100 "League of Giants." 00:02:57.780 --> 00:02:58.280 Done. 00:02:58.340 --> 00:03:00.340 Okay, another title. Another title... 00:03:00.780 --> 00:03:01.900 How do you do titles? 00:03:01.900 --> 00:03:04.300 Oh, I get it! You just put PewDiePie in there! 00:03:04.300 --> 00:03:05.240 Got it! 00:03:05.620 --> 00:03:07.360 *sarcastically* This will surely get a lot of views. 00:03:07.520 --> 00:03:09.200 Make an unfunny comment. 00:03:10.140 --> 00:03:10.640 Boom. 00:03:11.480 --> 00:03:12.760 Look, I'm JackSepticEye! 00:03:12.760 --> 00:03:13.400 Got 00:03:13.400 --> 00:03:15.480 Why haven't made any money yet? 00:03:15.480 --> 00:03:17.520 I've been doing YouTube for years. 00:03:17.520 --> 00:03:18.820 Where is that f*cking money? 00:03:19.380 --> 00:03:21.140 Okay. So now time is passing. 00:03:21.800 --> 00:03:23.160 We made two dollars! 00:03:23.160 --> 00:03:25.060 F*ck yeah, we made two dollars! 00:03:25.060 --> 00:03:26.320 Look how impressed I am.. 00:03:26.960 --> 00:03:29.040 This game really is realistic. 00:03:29.080 --> 00:03:30.680 What the f*ck am I doing? 00:03:30.680 --> 00:03:32.920 Just walking in to stare at the corner? 00:03:33.160 --> 00:03:35.380 At least more fun than doing this sh*t... 00:03:35.880 --> 00:03:39.660 C'mon Pewdiepie! Come out of there! You gotta make another video, dude! 00:03:40.140 --> 00:03:42.660 Come on, Poodiepie, you gotta make another video! 00:03:42.660 --> 00:03:45.960 Like every f*cking day, come on, man! 00:03:46.420 --> 00:03:47.760 Come on, buddy... 00:03:47.960 --> 00:03:53.040 Oh that's it! I know you need that money! You f*cking greedy little b*tch... 00:03:53.860 --> 00:03:54.760 *strange laugh* 00:03:55.480 --> 00:03:57.280 Oh, look at him forcing a smile... 00:03:58.060 --> 00:04:00.760 Yeah, let's make a "Happy expression", there you go! 00:04:01.460 --> 00:04:03.620 Those idiots!... They bought it. 00:04:03.620 --> 00:04:06.380 Another "Happy expression", oh my God! 00:04:06.380 --> 00:04:08.700 *pulls happy expression* 00:04:08.700 --> 00:04:10.880 Let's force out a "Funny comment". 00:04:11.580 --> 00:04:12.500 Nailed it. 00:04:12.500 --> 00:04:13.900 Okay, we've got some comments. 00:04:13.900 --> 00:04:18.660 "If you don't know how to record videos properly, you shouldn't be a YouTuber. That's how it is. Buh-bye." 00:04:20.440 --> 00:04:21.460 F*ck you. 00:04:21.460 --> 00:04:23.460 Got forty likes on that b*tch. 00:04:23.460 --> 00:04:26.040 UH, forty likes on that motherf*cker. 00:04:26.040 --> 00:04:26.740 42? 00:04:26.740 --> 00:04:28.140 F*ck you! 00:04:28.140 --> 00:04:29.000 DISLIKE!? 00:04:29.000 --> 00:04:30.360 WHO DISLIKED THAT SHIT?! 00:04:30.360 --> 00:04:32.000 Mum! Mum was that you again? 00:04:32.000 --> 00:04:33.840 I hate you mum. 00:04:33.840 --> 00:04:35.180 You don't understand me. 00:04:35.180 --> 00:04:37.000 I got more views than you mum, shut up! 00:04:37.000 --> 00:04:39.020 Oh, there's our new game. Okay. 00:04:39.020 --> 00:04:41.020 Okay, we're playing this horror game. 00:04:41.020 --> 00:04:42.840 Let's... let's give a murderous look. 00:04:42.840 --> 00:04:43.640 That always works. 00:04:43.640 --> 00:04:46.080 *nightmares* 00:04:46.080 --> 00:04:47.800 That's a classic Pewdiepie seller, right there. 00:04:47.800 --> 00:04:49.240 *more nightmares* 00:04:49.240 --> 00:04:51.240 Oh, okay, let's make an off-topic comment. 00:04:51.240 --> 00:04:53.420 I got a haircut today, what do you guys think? 00:04:53.420 --> 00:04:55.020 Is it... uh... 00:04:55.020 --> 00:04:57.020 Is it good? Do you guys like it? 00:04:57.020 --> 00:05:00.500 The self-realisation of what a piece of sh*t you are while playing this game. 00:05:00.500 --> 00:05:02.200 Alright, we can promote this video - 00:05:02.200 --> 00:05:04.120 Okay, we can self-advertise. 00:05:04.120 --> 00:05:06.120 Alright, let's... let's do that. 00:05:06.120 --> 00:05:07.680 Hi guys, 00:05:07.680 --> 00:05:09.680 Uh, no no no, you gotta trick 'em. 00:05:09.680 --> 00:05:11.680 You gotta trick 'em like it' s an actual comment. 00:05:11.680 --> 00:05:14.980 Great video, really watched all of it, honestly. 00:05:14.980 --> 00:05:16.260 BTW! 00:05:16.260 --> 00:05:22.220 Check out my channel and subscribe, please need more subs. 00:05:22.220 --> 00:05:25.120 Thank you very much. 00:05:26.220 --> 00:05:26.720 Boom! 00:05:27.280 --> 00:05:29.280 Man, YouTube life is easy! 00:05:29.280 --> 00:05:31.280 This is some straight up bullsh*t. 00:05:31.280 --> 00:05:32.920 "You're losing subscribers." 00:05:32.920 --> 00:05:33.660 OH GOD! 00:05:33.660 --> 00:05:35.660 RED ALERT! RED ALERT! WHAT DO WE DO!? 00:05:35.660 --> 00:05:36.820 WE'RE LOSING SUBS! 00:05:36.820 --> 00:05:37.540 Oh God! 00:05:37.540 --> 00:05:39.000 Uh, make a new video! Make a new video fast! 00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:40.300 We gotta make a new video fast! 00:05:40.300 --> 00:05:42.300 Whatever we got! Whatever- broken words, got it 00:05:42.300 --> 00:05:44.600 I'll make another video! I'll make 50 videos! 00:05:44.600 --> 00:05:47.100 I don't give a sh*t! Just crank that sh*t out! 00:05:47.100 --> 00:05:52.060 HERE YOU GO YOU UNGRATEFUL SON-OF-A-BITCHES 00:05:52.060 --> 00:05:55.780 Alright, okay, alright, hello? Wait, let's do a... a singing comment 00:05:55.780 --> 00:05:58.540 ♪ Oh- mmm, what you say-ay ♪ 00:05:58.540 --> 00:06:00.540 ♪ mmm, that you only meant well ♪ 00:06:00.540 --> 00:06:01.040 *beautiful singing Poods* 00:06:01.040 --> 00:06:02.520 Let's do a professional comment! 00:06:02.520 --> 00:06:05.440 Oh wow! The graphics in this game looks very cool! 00:06:05.440 --> 00:06:08.160 The 1080p resolution is just... 00:06:08.160 --> 00:06:08.880 WOW! 00:06:08.880 --> 00:06:10.880 Man, I'm so good at making videos. 00:06:10.880 --> 00:06:12.020 This sh*t does itself. 00:06:12.020 --> 00:06:14.400 Let's uh... This is how you edit. 00:06:14.400 --> 00:06:16.020 WHERE'S MY NEXT PAY-CHECK?! 00:06:16.020 --> 00:06:17.340 THANK YOU VERY MUCH 00:06:17.340 --> 00:06:21.000 Where's the option to randomly yell at the... (hah) ...at the camera. 00:06:21.900 --> 00:06:22.760 AAARRGH 00:06:22.760 --> 00:06:24.760 Where's the option to be fake scared? 00:06:24.760 --> 00:06:27.760 WTF?! This guy's not gonna go anywhere. 00:06:27.760 --> 00:06:29.760 This guy's clearly an amateur! 00:06:29.760 --> 00:06:31.760 Okay, we can decorate our desk. 00:06:31.760 --> 00:06:33.440 Uuuum 00:06:33.440 --> 00:06:35.440 Yeah, what can we do? um? 00:06:36.740 --> 00:06:38.340 Buy the cheapest thing. What's that? 00:06:38.340 --> 00:06:40.260 A lava lamp, that's pretty cool. 00:06:40.260 --> 00:06:42.160 Oh shit! We failed our grades. 00:06:42.160 --> 00:06:44.160 Mum is gonna be so pissed. 00:06:45.080 --> 00:06:47.080 Once she's done staring at the- OH MY GOD! 00:06:47.080 --> 00:06:48.400 She teleported. 00:06:48.400 --> 00:06:49.080 *that's magical mum powers for ya* 00:06:49.080 --> 00:06:50.640 What is she doing? 00:06:50.640 --> 00:06:51.480 NO MUM! 00:06:51.480 --> 00:06:53.220 NOoO! NOoO! 00:06:53.220 --> 00:06:53.960 MUM! 00:06:53.960 --> 00:06:55.120 What're you doing?! 00:06:55.120 --> 00:06:57.120 I'm gonna lose so many subscribers MUM! 00:06:57.120 --> 00:06:58.560 NO! 00:06:58.560 --> 00:07:01.240 Does my Mum even know that that's not the actual computer? 00:07:01.240 --> 00:07:01.740 Aha 00:07:01.740 --> 00:07:03.000 What a dumb b*tch. 00:07:03.000 --> 00:07:06.500 Oh God, We gotta make a new video fast before we lose any more subscribers. 00:07:07.960 --> 00:07:12.200 100/1 Flawless Gameplay 00:07:12.200 --> 00:07:13.040 *seems legit* 00:07:13.040 --> 00:07:15.040 Let's add some copyrighted music! 00:07:15.040 --> 00:07:16.980 *maniacal evil laugh* 00:07:16.980 --> 00:07:18.980 I would NEVER do that sh*t. 00:07:18.980 --> 00:07:20.480 That's unethical man. 00:07:20.480 --> 00:07:22.480 Oh boy this is gonna be a looong video. 00:07:22.480 --> 00:07:26.020 If the video is more than 10 minutes we're gonna make double Adcents. 00:07:26.020 --> 00:07:26.780 Come on! 00:07:26.780 --> 00:07:29.120 Drag out the outro! Make the outro longer! 00:07:29.120 --> 00:07:31.300 Make the outro another 50 minutes. 00:07:32.840 --> 00:07:34.840 Oh my God, the video quality is off the roof. 00:07:36.140 --> 00:07:38.140 I'm up there now with the big YouTubers. 00:07:39.040 --> 00:07:45.320 *reading speech bubble* 00:07:45.320 --> 00:07:47.320 Free game? Absolutely. 00:07:47.320 --> 00:07:50.420 100 likes? BOOM! That's a new record. 00:07:50.420 --> 00:07:53.460 F*ck yeah! I'm the best YouTuber in the world! 00:07:53.460 --> 00:07:55.940 Oh, I got a new game: Horrifying Sewers. 00:07:55.940 --> 00:07:57.940 No-one has ever played Horrifying Sewers. 00:07:57.940 --> 00:08:01.740 This is the new horror game that is gonna bring my channel to new levels. 00:08:01.740 --> 00:08:08.000 We gotta upload it fast! F*ck the quality! F*ck the content! It's gotta go up fast! 00:08:08.000 --> 00:08:16.920 SCARIEST GAME EVER SCARED OF HOLY SHIT DIED *correction* PEED A LITTLE 00:08:17.880 --> 00:08:19.180 Bam! That's a title. 00:08:19.180 --> 00:08:21.180 Alright, we're gonna start of with some copyrighted music. 00:08:21.180 --> 00:08:24.440 Get it all like um... a... a... get- f*ck! 00:08:24.440 --> 00:08:25.340 Okay, murderous look! 00:08:25.340 --> 00:08:26.360 *even MORE nightmares* 00:08:26.360 --> 00:08:27.580 Dayum! Nailed it. 00:08:27.580 --> 00:08:29.060 Okay, we gotta make a serious comment. 00:08:29.060 --> 00:08:31.060 Wow this game looks really cool! 00:08:31.060 --> 00:08:32.720 I'm so into this. 00:08:32.720 --> 00:08:34.720 Alright, let's pretend we're happy playing it. 00:08:34.720 --> 00:08:35.800 Uh no, f*ck that let's... 00:08:35.800 --> 00:08:36.840 MAKE A MURDEROUS LOOK! 00:08:36.840 --> 00:08:38.360 *goddamnit Poods* 00:08:38.360 --> 00:08:39.600 Works every time! 00:08:39.600 --> 00:08:42.220 Those fangirls are going craaazy. 00:08:42.220 --> 00:08:46.120 This is my greatest video, this is my best video I've ever made. 00:08:46.120 --> 00:08:47.540 I'm so proud. 00:08:47.540 --> 00:08:49.540 Awww sh*t, we got a copyright strike. 00:08:49.540 --> 00:08:50.980 Not this sh*t again. 00:08:50.980 --> 00:08:52.980 I don't wanna deal with this bulllsh*t. 00:08:52.980 --> 00:08:56.520 Look at how sad I am, look at how sad YouTube has made me. 00:08:56.520 --> 00:08:59.100 I'm a sad, sad man. 00:08:59.100 --> 00:09:01.100 This is the truth behind YouTube. 00:09:01.100 --> 00:09:05.040 We're all depressed, why would anyone want to become a YouTuber? 00:09:05.040 --> 00:09:09.420 For the fame? For the money? For the Mum yelling at you? 00:09:09.420 --> 00:09:10.920 Look at me! 00:09:10.920 --> 00:09:12.000 *sad Poods* 00:09:12.000 --> 00:09:13.600 Look at where I am... 00:09:13.600 --> 00:09:15.600 Look at my sh*tty content. 00:09:15.600 --> 00:09:17.100 Was it worth it? 00:09:18.240 --> 00:09:19.260 I don't know. 00:09:19.260 --> 00:09:21.260 I've gotten so many views... 00:09:21.260 --> 00:09:24.920 But at the same time I'm Pewdiepie. 00:09:25.320 --> 00:09:27.320 You know what I mean? 00:09:27.320 --> 00:09:28.840 I feel dirty. 00:09:28.840 --> 00:09:30.960 I used to be so young and innocent. 00:09:30.960 --> 00:09:32.540 Look at me! 00:09:32.540 --> 00:09:33.840 Now look at me now! 00:09:33.840 --> 00:09:35.840 You don't wanna be a YouTuber. 00:09:35.840 --> 00:09:37.840 Get a real job. *very serious laughter* 00:09:37.840 --> 00:09:39.840 I don't wanna do this sh*t anymore. 00:09:39.840 --> 00:09:41.440 I quit! 00:09:41.440 --> 00:09:42.440 I can't quit! 00:09:42.440 --> 00:09:43.260 How do I quit?! 00:09:43.260 --> 00:09:45.820 I'm deleting this game and I'm deleting my channel. 00:09:45.820 --> 00:09:48.480 I- dirty! I'm dirty and disgusting! 00:09:49.200 --> 00:09:49.760 *sad breathing noises* 00:09:49.760 --> 00:09:52.560 I can't do this sh*t anymore, I'm out! 00:09:53.020 --> 00:09:53.680 F*ck you! 00:09:54.260 --> 00:09:55.060 F*ck everyone. 00:09:55.900 --> 00:09:58.420 *cries of genuine sadness* 00:09:58.420 --> 00:09:59.200 Uuuugh 00:09:59.780 --> 00:10:01.780 I'm going back to selling hotdogs. 00:10:01.940 --> 00:10:03.820 Now you know how it works, 00:10:03.820 --> 00:10:07.260 No, but for real, this game wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. 00:10:07.260 --> 00:10:10.340 I dunno if it's my type of game, but it was fun to check out. 00:10:10.340 --> 00:10:16.300 Leave a like if you enjoyed watching and, uh, now you know all my secrets... so I guess I really should just quit. 00:10:16.300 --> 00:10:19.600 I think all YouTubers can agree on that... 00:10:19.600 --> 00:10:22.800 It's a lotta work, it's really stressful. 00:10:22.800 --> 00:10:24.800 But we do it because we love it. 00:10:24.800 --> 00:10:29.640 A lot of people seem to see YouTube as a way to get famous or to get money. 00:10:29.640 --> 00:10:31.640 Just make videos because you enjoy making them. 00:10:32.980 --> 00:10:35.980 That's my number 1 tip from number 1 hypocrite. 00:10:36.380 --> 00:10:38.380 See you later my little clit. 00:10:38.380 --> 00:10:39.000 Sorry! 00:10:39.000 --> 00:10:39.540 Okay! 00:10:39.540 --> 00:10:41.540 Stay awesome bros. *brofist*