WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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Sexy vegan : The reason I got "sexy vegan" tattooed on my face and my chest......

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because both are great things.

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I want people to know who I am instantly just looking at me.

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*pewds enters* hold- hold- hold on

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By that logic, you might as well tattoo "insane person" on your face!

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cause THAT'S what you ARE.

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(clap 2x)

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*expected him to say meme review*

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(amirite?)

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Hello everybody, my name is *brrrrrr*

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and today we are going to talk about the best YouTuber of all time.

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No, I am not talking about me.
I am talking about...

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Sexy.

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Vegan.

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*cue dramatic music*

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(GAZE UPON THAT FACE!!!)

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He's got the blue hair,

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SV:
Blue eyebrows because blue is my favorite color.

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My mom, she doesn't like the face tattoos, they look-

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P: He's got the face tattoos

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SV: My mom, she doesn't like the face tattoos

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because I look like a weirdo

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(you ARE a WEIRDO!)

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P: He's ready to go!

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SV: The reason I got "sexy vegan" tattooed on my face and my chest

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is because both are

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*yea boi* great things and I want people to know

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*is this some superhero movie?* who I am instantly, just looking at me

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These tears right here are for the suffering of

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*looks like he's high AF*  the over 70 billion animals

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that are (what??) so smart (??) they cannot move??

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yes it is

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*music*

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*music*

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*brad and brad #2 are really good at editing*

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P: First of all, that's the worst, most asymmetric star I have ever seen

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It looks like a 5 year old could do a better job.

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Did he do these tattoos himself?

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Like-

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SV: Star is super star that I am going to achieve and for pleasure.

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AND it's for PLEASURE (eyebrow wiggle)
*pewds laughs about sexy vegan*

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It's the star that

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I am going to achieve

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AND for PLEASURE

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SV: My mom, she doesn't like the

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Face tattoos, I looked like a weirdo (you are, you dummy)

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WHAT!
*spagett intensifies*

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*pewds snickers*

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How  d a r e  your mom say that

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and, may I say, you look Fantastic in blue, I'm rocking blue as well

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It's the best colour to wear,

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Clearly,

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Finally,

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Someone is strong enough

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To speak out on these issues, stupid moms.

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(Mocking) Don't let me dance

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naked on the street!

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SV: They make movie stars,

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like Tom Cruise, but now with the face tattoos,

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I'm more distinct.

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I'm gonna be myself

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and people have to like me for me

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and that's all there is to it

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(Dramatic) I'm NOT gonna CONFORM!

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*more sexy nakey dance*

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P: Oh, my God, he is LITERALLY me

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Ahehehahaha

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An exaggeration of all and my entire being ahahah

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Dr. Phil: Well, Raquel says her older brother Sexy

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has been banned for life from YouTube
and Craigslist, (uh oh)

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thinks he's on par with God-

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P: Wait *gibberish* is Dr. Phil
talking about me right now or what's

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happening? This is-

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Okay, so, Sexy Vegan has
a YouTube channel, apparently, uh, you upload

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one video on YouTube and you
qua- qual- qualify as a- as a YouTuber (TM)

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SV: I got sooo fuckin' angry earlier

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'Cause I was uh- I was in Fronthide (?) for a little bit

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but it wasn't really going so-

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*CLICKS TONGUE*

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P: Hey, guys, welcome to my new

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uh, update vlog, just uh,

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got SOOO anGRY earliER!

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*CLICKS TONGUE* CLEARLY, we have a lot to learn from Sexy Vegan

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on how to do YouTube properly.

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The stylistic choice of filming it in the
wrong aspect ratio...

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People just don't do

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these bold moves anymore! He's not
conforming, guys, this is it, this is a

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quintessential YouTuber (TM) of all time.

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Dr. Phil: There's even tattooed his face-

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P: How are we not, talking, about, the eyebrows

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Ohhhhhhhhhhh, nooooooooooo

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Odd Sister: For the record, I don't call my brother"Sexy," I call him "SV."

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P: Wait.

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*long pause*

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What is "SV?"

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SIMPLY, a term for sandy vagina

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DAMN, she's a savage

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Becky: Last year, my
brother looked like this handsome guy

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but when I've seen his recent
transformation-

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P: He transformed from a dog!

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Susan: I described my brother as lazy,
unmotivated, crazy

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(Law & Order boom) He is a danger to the public.

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P: Damn.... That edit really makes it so intense

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(Law & Order boom) Have you guys heard of PewDiePie? He is a danger to all the ethnicities

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Rebecca: My mother has two rules for my brother:

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don't get arrested,

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don't do drugs (kids)...

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He can't seem to follow either of them.

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P: I feel like everyone
knows some person like this to some

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extent, just this kid that was WAY too
spoiled as a child and just problematic

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and no one really wanted to deal with it, so just kept giving him whatever he

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wants, and then it's just turned into this monster. It's wonderful.

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I love this; I live for this.

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Sooo Sexy Vegan or Hans de Bartolo also wrote a

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book, uh, called- before his transformation-
called "The Adventures of Fargo Lefty"

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"Meet Fargo Lefty! Fargo is a handsome, young, vegan writer in his mid-20's who

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comes from a wealthy family and lives in his own home his dad bought him.

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Fargo has some very cool vegan friends. One is a rich drug-" Honestly I kind of want to read this.

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SV: My name is Sexy Vegan, got my
name legally changed to Sexy Vegan.

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"Hans" no longer fits me.

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P: I think it's a really good move to change your name to Sexy Vegan

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and especially tattooing it on
your face ESPECIALLY if you haven't

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already in the past three years change
identity three or four times from Hans

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DeBartolo to vegan Hans to sexy vegan
Justin Beiber Charlie Sheen project yeah

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so you can follow his whole
transformation online it's all there and

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it's there was the saddest thing I've
ever seen and also hilarious but also

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hilarious
so I once was down to 1.3 percent body

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fat

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when I go out everyone stares at me
because I wear a speedo esque outfit and

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I'm exotic like a Lamborghini SV
I love walking around my speedos because

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putting clothes on is like putting a tarp
over a Lamborghini which makes no sense

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"and I get $#*! for that all the time" it just
doesn't make sense that people don't

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want to see my naked body because why
wouldn't people see in Lamborghini my

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logic is 100% flawless and I just get $#*! for that all the time

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when I go into a grocery store [..] followed
around by the security which is so

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annoying
what is this lines I've watched a lot of

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his videos he speaks so differently here
that all the time it's like the

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producers are just saying like hey can
you sound more angry wearing my speedo

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security will come up and they'll say
sir you have to dress more and I'll be

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like "well a hot chick could wear this
outfit"

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S- Sorry. Excuse me, sorry, sexy vegan..

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your logic is always flawless
and I don't mean to impose,

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but I don't think women can go around wearing that.
That's what a Normie would say

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Finally we have someone brave like sexy vegan
that isn't afraid to talk about

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controversial topics like sexism and
then how it just doesn't unfavored women

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and unfavored menace we're okay why
can't girls go around topless with their

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nipples X boats and guys can't it's
total black shit so I get kicked out of

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so many stores I've been arrested 15
times 15 I can make it on my talents I

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have several YouTube videos I've been
kicked off a YouTube channel I got

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terminated for over sexual strikes he's
you're wondering what kind of diet this

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man is on he made a video and it's the
most repulsive thing is like these fake

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fish patties with vegenaise on it and
to be fair vegenaise

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this is actually really good all right
don't not get unless you try it but man

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he's really good tastes just as good as
damn and I actually agree with him yeah

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all he eats is crispy chicken and
fishless fillets and he doesn't even

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cook them he microwaved them why do I
care about if someone else is done the

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main problem is my mom she does not
believe in me she's very pessimistic

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right you get the point six of vegan
it's have a problem with his mom and his

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family he goes to dr. Phil and finally
he appears in dr. Phil and this is the

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result the beautiful vegan Messiah it's
a song I didn't say was who knows it I

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was just like my dad okay ten luxury
cars my dad told me I had the same name

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as him until I legally changed it my mom
did not bail me out gentlemen she knew I

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was innocent

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what is he saying I call it it's not a
song my dad I have the same name s he

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had ten cars and my mom did not bail me
out of jail

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I'm liberating over 70 billion pigs and
cages so small that cannot move for

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years okay I work my mom's a sociopathic
piece of I have the high score in

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hot-or-not history I got a nine point
nine out of ten after 327 women rated me

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let's see your channel hundred that's a
lot of wind town you ugly piece up okay

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stop Hey Hey look at me what do they do
it's working a dr. Phil I got a nine

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point nine ten up to 327 women rated me
likes your talent what kind of town do

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you have come out here and use that kind
of language in front of my audience an

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audience I apologize that is childish
and immature behavior and yes you do no

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don't let the door hit you in the ass I
didn't realize doctor such a gangster so

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then a gay couple months later he
returns to apologize to dr. Phil for his

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crimes
of twerking on stage my parents are dr.

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Phil was a total disaster a lost a lost
opportunity the way I behaved was wrong

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my mom's a sociopathic piece of my
biggest regret is yelling at dr. Phil

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you look at me yeah I agree
if I had those face tattoos my biggest

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regret would also be yelling at dr. Phil
definitely that would I totally

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understand how that is your biggest
regret 100% and not your face tattoos

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you only a dr. Phil that's like a
hundred times worse okay so I'm glad we

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got that out of the way cuz I was
worried he wasn't gonna acknowledge it I

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hated seeing myself you helped my mom I
mean

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my mom I disrespect everyone I was I was
I was I said a different strokes for

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different folks one of my songs inspired
by dr. feels different strokes for

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different folks different strokes for
different folks he said on the show and

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stuff oh really
what an originalist song what he he

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really used to me isn't he just steals
everything

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the answer is everyone's different do
what you do as long as you're not

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harming anyone animals and insects - I'm
really sorry

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what's the pastime nice for you to
forgive me an Emmy bag we'll have a seat

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thank you sir
I'm glad to have you back so you we

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don't need to see the rest you kind of
get the idea

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dr filiz like well if you care about
animals I love animals so that means you

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know that bad of a guy and that kind of
heart has got to be a good guy at the

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core beside you know you guys should
check out sexy vegan YouTube channel he

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definitely needs more subscribers
because I feel like he's ego is just not

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big enough that he could really benefit
from some more social media following I

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think that could definitely be the best
thing for him right now and not getting

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some actual psychiatric help from
experts like dr. Phil for example anyway

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that's it for me leave a like if you
enjoyed this video and remember to be

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vegan and sexy like me what the fuck's
out outro Jesus

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I'm done with this pass to make the
Edgar