*Flashback* Youtube has a problem. That I absolutely hate.
Which is Drama
I cant think of anything more stupid to waste your time on... [eerie echo]
At-a-ta-ta-ta-ta (Probably a Pokemon...)
No.
Couldn't have been more wrong.
I take it all back
I changed my mind, damnit!
What do people on YouTube want more than anything?
Creative, original content?
No, fuck that! They want views, damnit!
And I think you know where I'm going with this. What gets views more than anything?
Thats right...
Drama.
*Flashback* Youtube has a problem that I absolutely hate.
Which is drama[Echos]
How could I have been so wrong?
You know, I watched that video and it... disgustin'.
Now you've probably seen some drama going on from one Youtuber to another..
(Youtuber 1) "Hey I dont like your- I dont like you"
(Youtuber 2) "No... Oh... Oh I'm gonna roast ya"
And then they roast back, and then the views... the views just go back and forth
Like a tennis ball- *Gains crippling depression* Why a tennis ball?
The monster feeds itself.
Listen. Me. I.
Aren't gonna just start some pity drama on some other shitty YouTuber.
Anyone could fucking do that.
Okay? I'm going to start drama with EVERYONE!
All the YouTubers you like, fuck 'em!
I'm gonna make them feel so bad, so shitty, that they're gonna-they're gonna make a "The PewDiePie Rant" video!
Hopefully... And then FINALLY, I'll be relevant. Here we go.
Five *dramatic music-ish*
Four *more dramatic music*
Three *MORE dramatic music*
Two *even more dramatic music*
One *last dramatic music part thing*
[Victim #1] CinnamonToastKen...
Fat.
[Victim #2] Scarce...
Fat.
[Victim #3] Cry...
Probably fat...
I'm not gonna have any friends after this... *laughs*
[Victim #4] Jacksepticeye...
Irish cunt.
[Victim #5] RiceGum...
North Korean cunt.
[Victim #6] iDewbbbz...(IDubbbz)
25 and balding.
[Victim #7] KSI...
Triggered by anything.
[Victim #8] Ryanna[Rihanna] Vevo...
Ugly.
[Victims #9 & #10] Dan and Phil. Are they dating? No, we won't fucking tell you.
Fuck you, you'll never know.
[Victim #11] Edgar... Worst fucking dog.
[Victim #12] SeaNanners... I laugh at everything... *depressed SeaNanners* as long as it gives me views...
[Victim #13.. Hold on, same guy! Shit!] SeaNanners... I'll laugh at anything to hide that I'm unfunny.
[Victim #13] Shane Dawson...
Wishes he could come out twice.
[Victim #14] JacksFilms...
Gay vibes.
[Victim #15] Taylor Swift...
Ugly.
[Victim #16] FouseyTUBE...
Worst channel on YouTube. *laughs*
[Victim #17] SkyDoesMinecraft...
Definitely still enjoying Minecraft.
[Victim #18] DanTDM...
Definitely still enjoying Minecraft.
[Victim #19] KickThePJ...
Needs to be kicked!?
[Victim #20] Markiplier...
Cry baby.
[Victim #21] H3H3...
Too many chins.
[Victim #22] EgoRaptor...
Too many chins.
[Victim #23] Leafy...
Chin implants... think about it.
Oh, I could go all night son.
I could go all night.
[Victim #24] EmmaBlackery...
More like, "Emma-boo-hoo-my-life-is so-hard-ery"
[Victim #25] Dillon The Hacker...
Can't even fucking hack.
[Victim #26] RomanAtwood...
Quality content.
[Victim #27] JennaMarbles...
More like "I am ten times hotter in a lot of my profile pictures than I really am."
[Victim?? #28] KEEMSTAR!!!
He's a nice fellow. He's a nice ... fellow.
[Victim #29] Lilly Singh...(IISuperWomanII)
The definition of trying too hard.
[Victim #30] FilthyFrank...
I love him. *laughs*
[Victim #31] Philly D... (Philip DeFranco)
Oh yeah, I've been on YouTube longer than you, so you can fuck off.
[Victim #32] Toby Turner...
Drug issue.
[Victim #33] Marina Joyce...
Drug ... issue.
Who said that?!
[Victim #34] videogamedunkey...
Not... black.
[Victim #35] Zoella...
The worst content I've seen, but still ... doing pretty well. That's pretty good.
[Victim #36] Casey Neistat...
The only person on YouTube with a bigger nose than I have.
[Victim #37] "Hey I'm Boogie (boogie2988) and I wanna be everyones friend."
[Victim #38] FaZe Clan...
Almost as relevant as Call Of Duty.
[Victim #39] Syndicate... (TheSyndicateProject)
Made the slimiest move on Youtube that I've ever seen and somehow still making videos.
[Victim #40] Kwebbelkop...
Head almost big as ego.
[Victim #41] Hillary Clinton...
Dying.
[Victim #42] YouTube...
Dying.
PewDiePie, wish I was. *exits dramaticly*
Was that a good - was that a good exit?
I ... got 'em good didn't I?
I can't wait for all the drama. I can't wait for all the dr-views.
Oh boy. I roasted them hard.
I'm just gonna sit back here.
Don't forget to check out my Patreon, link is in the description.
Thank you so much for watching, leave a like because all the fans, are gonna hate on me now.
So I need you to leave a like to protect me and not just because I want more likes. Okay?