WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en-GB

00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:01.280
Clickbait videos...

00:00:01.500 --> 00:00:03.180
*dramatic march*

00:00:03.400 --> 00:00:05.400
*continuing dramatic march*

00:00:05.760 --> 00:00:07.600
It's plagued YouTube for years

00:00:07.820 --> 00:00:09.580
But you still click on them

00:00:09.780 --> 00:00:11.860
You won't stop clicking on them

00:00:12.280 --> 00:00:15.220
I have to clickbait just to stay relevant

00:00:15.220 --> 00:00:16.380
It's gone out of control-

00:00:16.860 --> 00:00:18.440
-And I'm here to fix it

00:00:18.440 --> 00:00:22.660
So I'm going to spoil clickbait videos, so you won't have to click on them.

00:00:22.700 --> 00:00:23.580
You're welcome.

00:00:23.580 --> 00:00:24.860
Yes it was painful,

00:00:24.860 --> 00:00:26.680
Yes I wanted to kill myself,

00:00:27.340 --> 00:00:28.100
But here we are

00:00:29.480 --> 00:00:30.360
Let's begin.

00:00:31.120 --> 00:00:33.620
I shaved my head, oh my god, Luke shaved his head.

00:00:34.140 --> 00:00:38.380
*razor noises*

00:00:38.940 --> 00:00:39.900
That his pubes?

00:00:40.000 --> 00:00:41.400
Luke: K- nah, I'm joking

00:00:41.400 --> 00:00:43.400
Luke: ITS JUST A MAGIC EFFECT *plot twist*

00:00:43.480 --> 00:00:45.960
Oh, it's just a magic effect, it's just a magic effect

00:00:46.220 --> 00:00:47.900
If the internet was real 2

00:00:48.620 --> 00:00:49.500
*click*

00:00:49.680 --> 00:00:50.600
*whirring noises*

00:00:50.660 --> 00:00:51.160
*fragment of a waltz*

00:00:51.460 --> 00:00:54.180
*fragments of people speaking*

00:00:54.420 --> 00:00:54.960
*its the waltz again*

00:00:55.100 --> 00:00:56.340
There's no boobs in the video

00:00:56.760 --> 00:00:58.440
If video games were real 3

00:00:59.140 --> 00:01:00.180
ZERO FORTY FOUR

00:01:00.580 --> 00:01:01.700
Food battle 2010

00:01:03.320 --> 00:01:04.200
FOUR O SEVEN

00:01:04.460 --> 00:01:06.020
*distant rock music*

00:01:06.300 --> 00:01:08.040
Worst twist ending ever

00:01:08.760 --> 00:01:09.900
ONE FORTY SIX

00:01:10.260 --> 00:01:11.540
My new girlfriend!

00:01:11.700 --> 00:01:12.660
question mark...

00:01:12.900 --> 00:01:13.400
Shane: hhEYY

00:01:13.580 --> 00:01:14.700
That's not his new girlfriend

00:01:14.700 --> 00:01:17.300
My new hot girl- it's not his new girlfriend

00:01:17.660 --> 00:01:21.020
Literally, question mark in title equals NOT TRUE

00:01:21.020 --> 00:01:21.920
Don't click on it

00:01:21.920 --> 00:01:23.980
Actually I pull that shit fucking all the time

00:01:24.160 --> 00:01:25.340
*snooooort*

00:01:25.340 --> 00:01:26.120
auhhhh

00:01:26.120 --> 00:01:28.920
Prankster got shot, hood prank gone wrong

00:01:29.720 --> 00:01:30.520
Almost dies

00:01:30.960 --> 00:01:32.960
*fragments of outside noises and voices*

00:01:33.440 --> 00:01:34.480
No one gets shot

00:01:34.720 --> 00:01:35.920
The death of Keemstar

00:01:36.120 --> 00:01:36.880
*dRAMATIC VIOLIN*

00:01:37.080 --> 00:01:38.320
Sadly Keemstar doesn't die

00:01:38.640 --> 00:01:39.840
Almost died today

00:01:40.080 --> 00:01:41.300
*running water noises*

00:01:41.560 --> 00:01:42.520
It was make-up

00:01:42.880 --> 00:01:44.160
Pewdiepie is dead!?!

00:01:44.540 --> 00:01:46.160
Pdp of the past: gUESS WHAT?!?!

00:01:46.300 --> 00:01:48.920
-C'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon

00:01:49.060 --> 00:01:50.340
God DAMN its make up too

00:01:50.880 --> 00:01:52.640
Your god damn make up trick

00:01:52.640 --> 00:01:54.240
Why did I keep falling for it

00:01:54.240 --> 00:01:54.740
F U C K

00:01:54.740 --> 00:01:56.960
It didn't even have a question mark in the title.

00:01:57.520 --> 00:01:58.240
Teddy rape

00:01:58.440 --> 00:01:59.520
Where's the rape KSI

00:02:00.360 --> 00:02:01.200
*dying noises*

00:02:01.200 --> 00:02:01.880
KSI: whOAH O SH-

00:02:02.100 --> 00:02:03.980
Why do you think I clicked on this video, KSI

00:02:03.980 --> 00:02:04.500
Where is it?

00:02:04.500 --> 00:02:05.700
KSI: mAKIN' FUN O MY FUCKING HAI-

00:02:05.700 --> 00:02:06.660
Where is it KSI

00:02:07.540 --> 00:02:08.820
Where the fuck is it

00:02:09.580 --> 00:02:10.080
*drops a base*

00:02:10.780 --> 00:02:11.860
I came here for the title man

00:02:12.200 --> 00:02:13.560
Is Pewdiepie Hitler?

00:02:13.640 --> 00:02:14.140
yes

00:02:14.400 --> 00:02:15.280
Are we dating?

00:02:15.280 --> 00:02:17.160
Scott: Maya says, "Are you guys dating or what-"

00:02:17.160 --> 00:02:18.660
Scott: "-Y'all been mad touchy lately." (the tweet is right there bro)

00:02:19.040 --> 00:02:20.480
Scott: We have been mad touchy lately

00:02:20.740 --> 00:02:22.260
Mitch: I think it was-its just been documented

00:02:22.440 --> 00:02:24.020
*EAR RAPE* ((WAKEMEUP))

00:02:24.200 --> 00:02:25.600
Scott: Snapchat's just exposing us

00:02:25.600 --> 00:02:26.100
*whoosh*

00:02:26.100 --> 00:02:26.640
Mitch: that was-

00:02:26.640 --> 00:02:27.140
*click*

00:02:27.140 --> 00:02:27.640
((BOI))

00:02:27.640 --> 00:02:28.200
((U DIDNT EVEN ANSWER))

00:02:28.280 --> 00:02:28.780
*arms fall to sides w a noise*

00:02:28.980 --> 00:02:29.620
Whuuuu

00:02:29.620 --> 00:02:30.360
*360mlgnoscope*

00:02:30.360 --> 00:02:31.920
Way to dodge the question!

00:02:32.060 --> 00:02:32.560
((jeez))

00:02:32.660 --> 00:02:33.160
*invisible table flip*

00:02:33.260 --> 00:02:33.760
*actual table flip*

00:02:34.020 --> 00:02:34.520
AH *PAIN*

00:02:34.720 --> 00:02:35.700
Are they dating!?

00:02:35.960 --> 00:02:37.020
I. NEED. TO. KNOW.

00:02:37.780 --> 00:02:39.100
I. NEED. ANSWERS.

00:02:39.980 --> 00:02:41.220
I guess some questions

00:02:41.220 --> 00:02:42.660
Will never be answered

00:02:43.080 --> 00:02:44.780
I got banged with a toothbrush

00:02:45.020 --> 00:02:46.740
Tana: hE fRICKEd ME....

00:02:47.240 --> 00:02:48.740
Tana: wITH A TOOTHBRUSH

00:02:48.940 --> 00:02:50.400
Why do i feel like I'm Leafy right now?

00:02:51.140 --> 00:02:52.080
What the fuck happened

00:02:52.300 --> 00:02:54.460
Bloopers gone wrong, gone sexual

00:02:54.720 --> 00:02:55.260
*boi this might be the one*

00:02:55.560 --> 00:02:56.120
THE FUCK

00:02:56.120 --> 00:02:56.620
*dramatic violin starts playing*

00:02:58.040 --> 00:02:58.760
WHERE IS IT

00:03:00.940 --> 00:03:01.660
WHERE IS IT

00:03:05.220 --> 00:03:05.720
((ear rape warning))

00:03:05.720 --> 00:03:06.600
WHERE IS IT

00:03:10.720 --> 00:03:11.680
SEE WHAT I MEAN

00:03:11.860 --> 00:03:13.140
THIS IS THE PROBLEM

00:03:13.680 --> 00:03:14.960
THIS IS AN EPIDEMIC

00:03:15.040 --> 00:03:15.540
*dramatic music ends*

00:03:15.540 --> 00:03:16.680
LOOK AT THAT DOGE

00:03:16.880 --> 00:03:18.920
Guys I found the cringiest kid ever

00:03:19.120 --> 00:03:20.980
Just kidding here's the cringiest one

00:03:20.980 --> 00:03:22.820
Just kidding this is the cringiest one

00:03:22.820 --> 00:03:25.400
I'm just fucking with you this is the cringiest one

00:03:25.640 --> 00:03:26.420
Ahhhhhhh

00:03:26.960 --> 00:03:28.380
No this is the cringiest kid

00:03:28.760 --> 00:03:30.760
Just kidding THIS is the cringiest kid

00:03:31.020 --> 00:03:31.520
No

00:03:31.520 --> 00:03:32.020
No no

00:03:32.020 --> 00:03:32.980
No no no no!

00:03:33.360 --> 00:03:34.520
THAT'S the cringiest kid

00:03:34.760 --> 00:03:36.080
Guys I'm not playing

00:03:36.080 --> 00:03:37.840
The next one will be the cringiest one

00:03:37.840 --> 00:03:38.340
I promise!

00:03:38.660 --> 00:03:39.700
The cringiest kid!

00:03:39.860 --> 00:03:41.400
The cringiest kid, guys!

00:03:41.920 --> 00:03:44.440
Leafy, I just wanna know who the cringiest kid is.

00:03:44.440 --> 00:03:46.720
Why are you busting my nuts like this?

00:03:46.880 --> 00:03:47.640
C'mon man

00:03:47.900 --> 00:03:48.400
Come on

00:03:48.620 --> 00:03:50.700
Tell me who the cringiest kid is, I need to know

00:03:50.960 --> 00:03:52.660
My friend died because of me

00:03:52.660 --> 00:03:53.420
Story time

00:03:53.680 --> 00:03:54.180
Ooh

00:03:54.180 --> 00:03:55.520
What a heartfelt story

00:03:55.520 --> 00:03:56.860
Better click on this one

00:03:57.160 --> 00:03:58.980
Kayla: I know this seems like a strange story u guys.

00:03:59.660 --> 00:04:00.160
Kayla: but...

00:04:00.560 --> 00:04:01.680
Kayla: This really did happened

00:04:02.020 --> 00:04:02.940
Kayla: Thousands of years ago

00:04:03.180 --> 00:04:05.000
Kayla: -IS is a story of easter

00:04:05.520 --> 00:04:06.840
Kayla: the REAL easter

00:04:07.100 --> 00:04:07.600
Kayla: and

00:04:07.820 --> 00:04:09.460
Kayla: the story of jesus christ

00:04:09.460 --> 00:04:09.960
She's talk-

00:04:09.960 --> 00:04:11.260
She's talking about Jesus!

00:04:11.260 --> 00:04:13.820
She was talking about her friend Jesus!

00:04:13.820 --> 00:04:15.620
Are you fucking kidding me?

00:04:15.620 --> 00:04:17.460
Bet JESUS wouldn't clickbait like this

00:04:17.640 --> 00:04:18.560
What would you do

00:04:18.920 --> 00:04:19.700
Extreme

00:04:20.600 --> 00:04:21.780
They're playing Surgeon Simulator

00:04:22.160 --> 00:04:24.420
They're playing Surgeon Simulator!

00:04:24.740 --> 00:04:26.180
"Alright, what should we name this video guys?"

00:04:26.180 --> 00:04:27.680
"We gotta come up with an title."

00:04:27.680 --> 00:04:30.200
"How about Surgeon Simulator, with Dad?"

00:04:30.340 --> 00:04:30.880
"Fokk u"

00:04:31.460 --> 00:04:33.400
"We're naming it, 'What would you do?'"

00:04:33.800 --> 00:04:34.580
"'ExtrEME"

00:04:34.840 --> 00:04:35.920
Don't believe FaZe plant

00:04:36.300 --> 00:04:36.800
bcuz

00:04:37.700 --> 00:04:38.920
"I can't believe this happened"

00:04:39.440 --> 00:04:40.560
"I can't believe this"

00:04:40.780 --> 00:04:41.760
"You won't believe this"

00:04:42.260 --> 00:04:43.700
"She doesn't believe me"

00:04:43.840 --> 00:04:44.960
"I can't believe"

00:04:45.160 --> 00:04:45.960
"... these kids"

00:04:46.400 --> 00:04:47.360
"Can you believe this"

00:04:47.480 --> 00:04:48.720
"I can't believe this"

00:04:48.920 --> 00:04:50.600
"I can't believe I fell!"

00:04:50.780 --> 00:04:52.000
"I can't bELIEVEIT!"

00:04:52.440 --> 00:04:54.340
"I cAN'T BELIEVE I FOUND THIS!!"

00:04:54.940 --> 00:04:56.820
"I CAN'T BELIEVE It..."

00:04:56.820 --> 00:04:58.360
"Can YOU believe this??"

00:04:58.620 --> 00:05:00.460
"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT."

00:05:00.880 --> 00:05:03.220
"*HE* CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!"

00:05:03.460 --> 00:05:05.600
"YOUNWONTBELIEVETHIS"

00:05:05.680 --> 00:05:08.380
Fucking Hell, it goes on- It goes on.

00:05:08.780 --> 00:05:09.820
And then finally....

00:05:10.240 --> 00:05:11.040
Finally...

00:05:11.360 --> 00:05:12.420
Saved the best for last

00:05:12.700 --> 00:05:13.560
Good ol' keem(star)

00:05:13.860 --> 00:05:16.600
*dramatic news music intro*

00:05:17.220 --> 00:05:19.240
Literally, if you see "Pewdiepie" in the title

00:05:20.000 --> 00:05:21.660
Don't, don't bother, alright?

00:05:22.180 --> 00:05:22.680
Just-

00:05:23.300 --> 00:05:24.640
Jesus Christ, man

00:05:24.960 --> 00:05:26.680
Why do I feel like keem molested me?

00:05:26.900 --> 00:05:28.600
How 'bout you run that story for a title?

00:05:28.780 --> 00:05:29.720
Ehhhhhhhhhh

00:05:29.720 --> 00:05:30.380
Alright

00:05:31.480 --> 00:05:32.320
Clickbaiting

00:05:32.980 --> 00:05:33.980
Almost everyone does it

00:05:34.480 --> 00:05:35.640
If you don't do it,

00:05:36.140 --> 00:05:37.160
You're not gonna get views

00:05:37.160 --> 00:05:39.480
I can spend days on a video

00:05:39.600 --> 00:05:43.040
And, it will get less views than a video that shit out

00:05:43.040 --> 00:05:45.300
For ten minutes, that has a better title

00:05:45.300 --> 00:05:46.760
YouTube is *really* unfair-

00:05:47.260 --> 00:05:48.540
-in that's regard

00:05:48.540 --> 00:05:50.440
And what it leads to, is good content

00:05:50.440 --> 00:05:51.900
Sometimes getting buried

00:05:52.320 --> 00:05:52.820
Uhh

00:05:53.020 --> 00:05:54.680
By clickable content

00:05:54.680 --> 00:05:57.820
And this is the problem that is bigger than YouTube

00:05:57.820 --> 00:06:00.180
It- it goes into news media

00:06:00.180 --> 00:06:01.820
And media being biased to-

00:06:02.400 --> 00:06:04.640
I don't mean to get it, that's a whole other level!

00:06:04.640 --> 00:06:05.480
But on YouTube,

00:06:06.060 --> 00:06:08.880
Is it a problem, and how do we solve it?

00:06:09.060 --> 00:06:09.860
We spoil it.

00:06:09.860 --> 00:06:10.940
One video at a time.

00:06:11.180 --> 00:06:13.680
This has been absolutely fucking awful for me

00:06:13.680 --> 00:06:15.040
So I hope you enjoyed this video!

00:06:15.040 --> 00:06:17.160
If you did, go ahead and leave a like!

00:06:17.160 --> 00:06:18.660
That way I'll get more likes

00:06:18.660 --> 00:06:21.260
And, I'll have to put less clickbaited titles

00:06:21.260 --> 00:06:22.300
'Ppreciate ya!

00:06:22.300 --> 00:06:23.240
And as always,

00:06:23.240 --> 00:06:24.260
Stay awesome, bros! *Brofist*

00:06:27.960 --> 00:06:29.620
aW THIS IS THE DONKEY KONG SOUNDTRACK

00:06:29.720 --> 00:06:30.220
FUCK YEAH

00:06:30.300 --> 00:06:31.420
THE GODZILLA DANCE

00:06:31.500 --> 00:06:32.560
I LOVE THIS SHIT

00:06:32.940 --> 00:06:34.340
I FUCKING LIVE FOR THE GODZILLA DANCE

00:06:34.560 --> 00:06:35.060
OH YES

00:06:35.060 --> 00:06:35.740
OHHH YEAHH

00:06:36.140 --> 00:06:36.660
((pewds ur not following the screen pewds))

00:06:36.840 --> 00:06:37.340
((pewds pls))

00:06:37.660 --> 00:06:38.160
((pewds))

00:06:39.120 --> 00:06:39.620
((maybe its because i can't be this happy))

00:06:40.740 --> 00:06:41.920
THIS IS MY FAVORITE JAM

