Literally my favorite song of the whole show. I don't even care that it was kind of long.

Jack: Rainbow Dash
Crutchie: Scootaloo
Race: Spike
Albert: Diamond Tiara
Specs: Rarity
Henry: Sweetie Belle
Finch: Pinkie Pie
Elmer: Silver Spoon
Buttons: Button Mash (Get it?)
Jo Jo: Snips
Romeo: Derpy
Mush: Babs
Sniper: Fluttershy
Nuns: Princesses

I'd like to specifically thank Cutie Mark Confidential because if it wasn't throwing newspapers out of its ears I probably wouldn't have bothered with this.