WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:10.780 --> 00:00:13.080 No. Nope. 00:00:13.080 --> 00:00:15.730 Thank you kindly, Twilight, for helping me out. 00:00:15.730 --> 00:00:18.820 I couldn't find Apple Bloom anywhere and I've got shit to do today! 00:00:18.820 --> 00:00:21.320 Might as well, considering I'm stuck here! 00:00:21.320 --> 00:00:26.500 Maybe Celestia will cut my banishment short since I'm out here helping the mentally handicapped... 00:00:26.500 --> 00:00:30.370 Heh, yeah, that joke sure wasn't funny the first time you made it either. 00:00:30.370 --> 00:00:31.570 But, whatever... 00:00:31.570 --> 00:00:33.450 This has got to be worth at least a month... 00:00:33.450 --> 00:00:36.450 Well, I for one am grateful for the chance to help! 00:00:36.450 --> 00:00:39.340 Twilight never feeds me, this is the most I've eaten in forever! 00:00:39.370 --> 00:00:41.910 Yeah, I've been meaning to address that... 00:00:41.910 --> 00:00:43.670 Who gave you permission to eat? 00:00:43.670 --> 00:00:45.340 Glorious nourishment! 00:00:45.340 --> 00:00:46.630 Don't you dare- 00:00:46.630 --> 00:00:48.720 *Munching* 00:00:48.720 --> 00:00:50.020 You're gonna regret that. 00:00:50.020 --> 00:00:51.400 *Gulp* Worth it. 00:00:52.530 --> 00:00:53.200 *Burp* 00:00:55.640 --> 00:00:56.160 *Pop* 00:00:57.460 --> 00:01:00.480 Wow! My hard work's already paid off? 00:01:00.480 --> 00:01:02.080 *Ahem* 00:01:02.080 --> 00:01:03.640 “Hear-me! Hear-me! 00:01:03.640 --> 00:01:07.400 I, your grand royal highness, Empress Celestia of Equestria, 00:01:07.400 --> 00:01:12.410 formally extend an invitation to my most faithful and charming student, Twilight Sparkle, 00:01:12.410 --> 00:01:14.840 whose beauty is only surpassed...” 00:01:14.840 --> 00:01:16.520 Uh, yadda yadda yadda... 00:01:16.520 --> 00:01:18.710 “Mane's glorious luster”, okay? 00:01:18.710 --> 00:01:20.990 More of that... 00:01:20.990 --> 00:01:25.900 “Voluptuous lips dripping wet with her sweet"... Good god, it just keeps going on, doesn't it? 00:01:25.900 --> 00:01:27.620 Okay, here we go... 00:01:27.620 --> 00:01:31.060 Twilight, she's sending you tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala! 00:01:31.060 --> 00:01:32.630 -Yee-haw! -Score! 00:01:34.100 --> 00:02:06.540 *Theme song plays* 00:02:07.730 --> 00:02:08.980 *Burp* 00:02:08.980 --> 00:02:10.240 *Pop* 00:02:10.240 --> 00:02:13.110 Huh, looks like she was only able to send the first two... 00:02:13.110 --> 00:02:15.590 Spike, shut up! Can't you see? 00:02:15.590 --> 00:02:18.750 This is exactly what I need to make life around here interesting! 00:02:18.750 --> 00:02:21.480 I thought you said the Grand Galloping Gala sucked ass? 00:02:21.480 --> 00:02:23.710 It does! That's not the point! 00:02:23.710 --> 00:02:24.970 What are you planning? 00:02:24.970 --> 00:02:27.290 The rest of these hicks don't know that it's awful! 00:02:27.290 --> 00:02:29.600 They'd probably do anything for a ticket! 00:02:29.600 --> 00:02:32.180 But Celestia said that more tickets are on their way! 00:02:32.180 --> 00:02:34.440 And how are they going to know that? 00:02:34.440 --> 00:02:36.060 Applejack's right there! 00:02:36.060 --> 00:02:38.600 You really think we need to worry about that yokel? 00:02:38.600 --> 00:02:41.350 Hey, Apple Jackass! You listening?! 00:02:41.350 --> 00:02:44.200 Woo-hoo! Grand Galloping Gala! 00:02:44.200 --> 00:02:47.100 It's the best, it's gonna be great, I'm so excited! 00:02:47.100 --> 00:02:49.680 -This is gonna be one helluva day Spike! -Hell yeah! 00:02:49.680 --> 00:02:51.740 I bet y’all are gonna have a blast! 00:02:51.740 --> 00:02:55.080 You are taking Spike, aren't ya? Seeing as y’all only have two tickets... 00:02:55.080 --> 00:02:58.770 Spike? *Extended laughter* 00:02:58.770 --> 00:02:59.880 Fuck you. 00:02:59.880 --> 00:03:03.250 Why, AJ, that extra ticket could be yours! 00:03:03.250 --> 00:03:05.170 -You've just gotta earn it! -Earn it? 00:03:05.170 --> 00:03:08.450 Here's the question you gotta ask yourself, my hillbilly friend: 00:03:08.450 --> 00:03:11.420 “How will my presence at the Gala benefit Twilight?” 00:03:11.420 --> 00:03:13.430 Alright, umm... 00:03:13.430 --> 00:03:16.710 If y’all take me to the Gala, I could... 00:03:16.710 --> 00:03:18.440 Open up an apple stand, yeah! 00:03:18.440 --> 00:03:23.120 And then I'd... Sell a ton of our products to all the brain dead apple cultists that'll be attending! 00:03:23.120 --> 00:03:25.350 Why, I could even unveil our newest product, 00:03:25.350 --> 00:03:27.810 the “Insert Mandatory Apple Product Joke Here”! 00:03:27.810 --> 00:03:30.610 I'd make so much profit that I could fund your, uh... 00:03:31.460 --> 00:03:33.430 Crusade against Celestia? 00:03:33.430 --> 00:03:35.150 Applejack, I think this is the beginning- 00:03:35.150 --> 00:03:36.440 Look out below! 00:03:36.440 --> 00:03:37.620 *Crash* 00:03:38.400 --> 00:03:41.810 Are we talking about THE Grand Galloping Gala? 00:03:41.810 --> 00:03:46.580 Rainbow Dash, what in the hell are you doing hanging out on my property for free?! 00:03:46.580 --> 00:03:48.860 Do our guys need to have another talk with your guys? 00:03:48.860 --> 00:03:52.860 Gimme a break! I've got some crazy bitch that won't leave at my place! 00:03:52.860 --> 00:03:55.450 One night stand gone horribly wrong, don't ask... 00:03:55.450 --> 00:03:57.260 And I needed a place to sleep it off! 00:03:57.260 --> 00:04:02.100 Now, let's skip the BS and get straight to the part you've been waiting for, hot stuff! 00:04:02.100 --> 00:04:07.190 How am I, the great Rainbow Rodriguez Dash, going to help you out if you take me to the Gala? 00:04:07.190 --> 00:04:08.740 Rodriguez? 00:04:08.740 --> 00:04:10.230 Well, I'm glad you asked! 00:04:10.230 --> 00:04:13.260 The Wonderbolts perform at the Gala every year! 00:04:13.260 --> 00:04:15.810 I can see it now... 00:04:15.810 --> 00:04:18.210 Everyone will be watching the skies, 00:04:18.210 --> 00:04:21.450 their eyes fixed on those lost, leaderless bastards. 00:04:21.450 --> 00:04:24.910 But then, in would fly... Rainbow Dash! 00:04:25.820 --> 00:04:26.970 *Gasps* 00:04:28.200 --> 00:04:32.900 First, I would show them all just how much I don't even need those back stabbing asshats! 00:04:32.900 --> 00:04:34.260 *Cheering* 00:04:34.260 --> 00:04:40.030 Then I would pull off the single greatest dive bomb ever, to remind them all of what they're missing! 00:04:41.600 --> 00:04:44.190 And finally, to add insult to injury, 00:04:44.190 --> 00:04:50.080 I would flash the entire stadium, my finely toned body leaving the entire crowd in awe! 00:04:50.080 --> 00:04:52.450 *Cheering* 00:04:52.450 --> 00:04:55.140 The Wonderbolts would realize the terrible mistake they've made 00:04:55.140 --> 00:04:59.160 and demand that I retake my place as the rightful captain of the team! 00:04:59.160 --> 00:05:02.510 Alright, not hearing the part where this helps me yet. 00:05:02.510 --> 00:05:05.180 Oh trust me, it'll be well worth your while! 00:05:05.180 --> 00:05:09.240 I know how you feel about me, hun, and if you help me get back into the Wonderbolts, 00:05:09.240 --> 00:05:11.900 I will make all your fantasies a reality. 00:05:11.900 --> 00:05:15.860 *Chomp* Hey! You can't go promisin' sex to win the ticket! 00:05:15.860 --> 00:05:18.230 What about our duty? We swore an oath! 00:05:18.230 --> 00:05:20.950 It's not like I'm asking her out, geez! 00:05:20.950 --> 00:05:22.780 I'm just gonna fuck her. 00:05:22.780 --> 00:05:26.760 And by the way, I guess all of a sudden proming money isn't a violation? 00:05:26.760 --> 00:05:28.760 You don't think that's wrong!? 00:05:28.760 --> 00:05:30.250 What the hell are you two talking about? 00:05:30.250 --> 00:05:32.010 You know what else I don't think is wrong? 00:05:32.010 --> 00:05:33.660 Whippin' your fat ass! 00:05:35.110 --> 00:05:36.560 *Grunts* 00:05:36.560 --> 00:05:39.190 Hold it! Okay, deal's off! 00:05:39.190 --> 00:05:44.090 God, leave it to you numb nuts to take all the fun out of an amazing plan! 00:05:44.090 --> 00:05:47.080 I guess I shouldn't be mad at you idiots though. 00:05:47.080 --> 00:05:48.760 Really, I should have seen this coming... 00:05:48.760 --> 00:05:51.140 Now, c'mon Twilight, don't be so hasty! 00:05:51.140 --> 00:05:53.880 We'll be good! Just take your time to decide! 00:05:53.880 --> 00:05:55.550 I can make you a whole heap a money! 00:05:55.550 --> 00:05:58.770 Anything you want, baby, anything! 00:05:58.770 --> 00:06:02.780 Hmm, maybe I shouldn't throw this plan to the back burner just yet... 00:06:02.780 --> 00:06:05.220 *Stomach growl* 00:06:05.220 --> 00:06:07.900 Tell ya what, I'm gonna go grab a bite to eat 00:06:07.900 --> 00:06:11.280 and see if any of our other, uh... “friends”, 00:06:11.280 --> 00:06:14.000 can think of a better reason for me to take them. 00:06:14.000 --> 00:06:17.450 Once I'm done, I'll decide who to take. Sound good? 00:06:17.450 --> 00:06:18.640 Okay... 00:06:18.640 --> 00:06:20.970 -Hey, you know when you bit my tail? -Yeah? 00:06:20.970 --> 00:06:23.110 -That was kinda hot. -Shut up. 00:06:23.110 --> 00:06:25.670 I really don't see this ending well, Twilight... 00:06:25.670 --> 00:06:28.820 God, why does everything with you have to be so damn negative? 00:06:28.820 --> 00:06:30.030 And you wonder why I starve yo- 00:06:30.030 --> 00:06:31.470 Ho-ti-aueh! *Bam* 00:06:36.920 --> 00:06:40.320 Eww! Fish! These smell like fish! 00:06:40.760 --> 00:06:44.410 Wait! Not fish... *Sniff, sniff* 00:06:45.180 --> 00:06:48.100 Tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala!? 00:06:48.100 --> 00:06:53.600 It's the most God needing, debauchery filled, super fun, cringe inducing, exclusive party in all of Equestria! 00:06:53.600 --> 00:06:55.800 I've always always ALWAYS wanted to go! 00:06:55.800 --> 00:06:59.030 ♪ Oh the Grand Galloping Gala, I'll let God's words roam free! 00:06:59.030 --> 00:07:02.270 ♪ Oh the Grand Galloping Gala, they can't escape me! 00:07:02.270 --> 00:07:05.570 ♪ Hip hip hooray! Who'll set them free? 00:07:05.570 --> 00:07:08.170 ♪ Yes, Pinkie! 00:07:08.170 --> 00:07:11.620 I can't wait to dismantle their heathinistic structures and substitute my own! 00:07:11.620 --> 00:07:15.290 Just imagine everypony's joy after I've freed them from their over-exuberant gluttony 00:07:15.290 --> 00:07:16.960 and replaced it with the word of our lord! 00:07:16.960 --> 00:07:20.320 And here I thought you were incapable of forming a complete sentence. 00:07:21.840 --> 00:07:25.060 ♪ Oh the Grand Galloping Gala, we'll let God's word roam free! 00:07:25.060 --> 00:07:28.210 ♪ Oh the Grand Galloping Gala, who'll set them free? 00:07:28.210 --> 00:07:34.020 ♪ And I can guarantee that the non-believers won't get away from me! 00:07:34.630 --> 00:07:35.980 Whee! 00:07:35.980 --> 00:07:37.880 Oh, thank you, Twilight! 00:07:37.880 --> 00:07:40.070 You won't regret giving your extra ticket to me! 00:07:40.070 --> 00:07:41.980 How the hell do you know about that!? 00:07:41.980 --> 00:07:46.380 What? That you have two tickets to the Gala and you're sharing one with the pony that will do the most for you? 00:07:46.380 --> 00:07:48.290 -Yes! -Oh, well, 00:07:48.290 --> 00:07:53.380 you told Applejack and Dashie, Dashie told Fluttershy, Fluttershy told Rarity and Rarity told, like, 40 other ponies. 00:07:53.380 --> 00:07:56.060 Not possible! I JUST left those idiots! 00:07:56.060 --> 00:07:58.930 I know that smell, Fluttersh- 00:07:58.930 --> 00:08:00.880 The Gala? So it's true! 00:08:00.880 --> 00:08:03.640 Please tell me that you're not giving the ticket to Pinkie Pie! 00:08:03.640 --> 00:08:05.480 -Well... -Yes, yes, YES! 00:08:05.480 --> 00:08:08.950 Twilight's taking me to the Gala to spread the word of our savior! 00:08:08.950 --> 00:08:10.270 That's ridiculous! 00:08:10.270 --> 00:08:14.560 I don't even see how your old testament ramblings could have possibly gotten you in the running, 00:08:14.560 --> 00:08:16.280 much less made you the winner! 00:08:16.280 --> 00:08:18.440 How would religion even benefit her there!? 00:08:18.440 --> 00:08:19.710 How would it not? 00:08:19.710 --> 00:08:22.740 Twilight, you must reconsider! 00:08:22.740 --> 00:08:25.700 Only I can offer you what you truly desire! 00:08:25.700 --> 00:08:27.270 I can picture it now... 00:08:29.390 --> 00:08:33.650 Done up in my best erotic ensemble I would stroll into the throne room. 00:08:33.650 --> 00:08:36.820 Nopony would be able to keep their eyes off of me. 00:08:36.820 --> 00:08:38.960 Damn, Imma wreck dat ass! 00:08:40.060 --> 00:08:44.460 Ignoring the small fries, I would make my way straight to my true prey, 00:08:44.460 --> 00:08:46.220 the princess herself! 00:08:47.820 --> 00:08:50.230 She would be so taken with my beauty 00:08:50.230 --> 00:08:54.420 that she would demand that I be paired up with her gorgeous nephew so we could mate, 00:08:54.420 --> 00:08:59.300 hoping to ensure the single, most beautiful offspring in all the land! 00:09:02.280 --> 00:09:07.390 Of course there would probably be a courtship and a snooze fest of a wedding and such, 00:09:07.390 --> 00:09:10.160 but once all of the bullshit was out of the way, 00:09:10.160 --> 00:09:13.380 I would finally be in the perfect position... 00:09:13.380 --> 00:09:17.010 To off both the princess and the rest of the royal family! 00:09:17.010 --> 00:09:19.240 Don't you see, Twilight? 00:09:19.240 --> 00:09:23.560 I could work on the inside and take out the Queen before she even knew what hit her! 00:09:24.070 --> 00:09:29.260 Why do you insist on attacking her in plain sight, when I'm offering a way to slit the metaphorical throat 00:09:29.260 --> 00:09:33.400 of the royal family and come into power without anyone becoming the wiser? 00:09:33.400 --> 00:09:37.920 *Shudders* That's the most horrifying analogy I've ever heard... 00:09:37.920 --> 00:09:39.230 Go on. 00:09:39.230 --> 00:09:39.920 *Boing* 00:09:39.920 --> 00:09:40.870 Son of a bitch! 00:09:40.870 --> 00:09:41.680 *Boing* 00:09:43.180 --> 00:09:46.200 Angel, I said to follow Rarity's scent! 00:09:46.740 --> 00:09:48.160 What are... 00:09:48.160 --> 00:09:49.810 Tickets to the Gala? 00:09:49.810 --> 00:09:53.610 Uh, Pinkie, you are most definitely not getting the ticket! 00:09:53.610 --> 00:09:55.150 SAY WHAT!? 00:09:55.700 --> 00:09:58.200 Um, excuse me, Twilight, 00:09:58.200 --> 00:10:01.940 I really, really, really think I should get the ticket. 00:10:01.940 --> 00:10:06.160 You?! Sweetheart, I love you, but I'm getting that ticket! 00:10:06.160 --> 00:10:08.820 Looks like someone's forgetting her place. 00:10:09.400 --> 00:10:12.300 I know, I'll remind her when we get home. 00:10:12.300 --> 00:10:13.020 *Giggle* 00:10:13.020 --> 00:10:18.560 Moving on, there's a serious flaw with my disobedient marshmallow’s plan, Twilight. 00:10:18.560 --> 00:10:24.900 If you kill the empress without first getting Equestria's ponies on your side, then they'll just rise up against you. 00:10:24.900 --> 00:10:29.660 Being the master of botany that I am, with some help from your unicorn magic, 00:10:29.660 --> 00:10:32.610 I think I could breed a new species of plant. 00:10:32.610 --> 00:10:36.970 One who's scent would force any pony to respect and admire you. 00:10:36.970 --> 00:10:39.470 Ahhhh, fuck yeah. 00:10:39.470 --> 00:10:43.940 I could plant it all over the countryside and we could raise a devoted following. 00:10:43.940 --> 00:10:50.000 Or, if you prefer, I could use my way with animals to get all the fauna in Equestria on our side. 00:10:50.000 --> 00:10:55.930 They may not seem like much, but in large numbers, those pecking, clawing, biting death machines 00:10:55.930 --> 00:10:59.480 will quickly make us the most feared duo in all the land. 00:10:59.480 --> 00:11:02.950 Wow, Fluttershy... That's not a bad plan! 00:11:02.950 --> 00:11:04.180 Shut up, Twilight! 00:11:04.180 --> 00:11:05.900 Hey, don't tell me to... 00:11:05.900 --> 00:11:09.960 Whoa, Rainbow, anyone ever tell you you look like a super hero? 00:11:09.960 --> 00:11:13.720 Aw, no but... I mean, of course! I mean... Nevermind! 00:11:13.720 --> 00:11:17.240 Flattery aside, I can't let you give that ticket to Fluttershy! 00:11:17.240 --> 00:11:20.160 She's lying! She doesn't know a thing about gardening! 00:11:20.160 --> 00:11:22.070 And what's the deal with airline food?! 00:11:22.070 --> 00:11:24.640 Oh god, I'm trapped in an idiot sandwich... 00:11:24.640 --> 00:11:26.120 Don't listen to her, Twi! 00:11:26.120 --> 00:11:29.600 I happen to know that RD's just lying about her lying! 00:11:29.600 --> 00:11:32.040 -You're lying! -I'm Spartacus! 00:11:32.040 --> 00:11:38.800 *Ponies arguing* 00:11:38.800 --> 00:11:44.080 *Arguing continues* 00:11:44.080 --> 00:11:46.450 SHUT UP! 00:11:46.450 --> 00:11:49.960 ♪ I see you ridin' round town with the girl I... 00:11:50.000 --> 00:11:51.040 Oh. 00:11:51.040 --> 00:11:53.300 You all will have to try a lot harder than that! 00:11:53.300 --> 00:11:54.740 -But Twilight... -Eh! 00:11:54.740 --> 00:11:56.560 If you want the ticket, earn it! 00:11:56.560 --> 00:11:59.920 You can all try again later, one at a time! 00:12:00.800 --> 00:12:04.330 Uh, your incisive babbling is making me crazy! 00:12:04.330 --> 00:12:05.640 *Stomach growl* 00:12:05.640 --> 00:12:07.540 Not to mention hungry! 00:12:07.540 --> 00:12:09.200 Now go on, get! 00:12:09.200 --> 00:12:12.970 *Disappointment* 00:12:12.970 --> 00:12:16.020 Spike, you know I didn't mean you! 00:12:16.920 --> 00:12:18.200 Morons... 00:12:21.570 --> 00:12:24.500 Uh, Spike, what am I gonna do? 00:12:24.500 --> 00:12:30.540 I offered a simple enough task, but so far it's all just been fighting and hardly anyone's done anything for me. 00:12:30.540 --> 00:12:34.840 Applejack and Rainbow Dash, Pinkie and Fluttershy, Rarity... 00:12:34.840 --> 00:12:37.760 Oh, why are they making this so hard!? 00:12:37.760 --> 00:12:40.260 I tried to warn you that this would backfire! 00:12:40.260 --> 00:12:42.560 Besides, the Gala's months away! 00:12:42.560 --> 00:12:45.360 You didn't really think they'd serve you until then, did you? 00:12:46.100 --> 00:12:50.100 Oh, I don't even know why I bother talking to you. 00:12:50.100 --> 00:12:54.640 I thought that you'd at least be able to speak a little pony after all this time serving under me. 00:12:54.640 --> 00:12:56.930 Are you guys, like, ready? 00:12:56.930 --> 00:12:59.700 Yes, I would love a daffodil and daisy sandwich. 00:12:59.700 --> 00:13:00.940 Can I get a Pepsi? 00:13:00.940 --> 00:13:02.400 Coke okay? 00:13:02.400 --> 00:13:05.110 *Sigh* Yeah, whatever, just... 00:13:05.110 --> 00:13:06.610 Yeah, that's fine. 00:13:06.610 --> 00:13:08.620 This is the worst day! 00:13:08.620 --> 00:13:09.900 You're telling me. 00:13:09.900 --> 00:13:14.220 Coke is okay, but come on! Everywhere we go it's like they want me to be disappointed. 00:13:14.220 --> 00:13:15.330 Here's your shit. 00:13:15.330 --> 00:13:16.700 Kick ass! 00:13:16.700 --> 00:13:17.630 *Munching* 00:13:17.630 --> 00:13:18.800 *Galloping* 00:13:18.800 --> 00:13:20.680 Ha! Suck it losers! 00:13:20.680 --> 00:13:23.860 Yo, you guy's gonna eat in the rain or what? 00:13:23.860 --> 00:13:26.100 Yes, we will, my drop out friend. 00:13:26.100 --> 00:13:29.260 In case you haven't noticed, I've got my weather bitch on the job. 00:13:29.260 --> 00:13:32.020 Whatever, It's not my fuckin' problem. 00:13:32.020 --> 00:13:34.150 Yeah... Twilight, 00:13:34.150 --> 00:13:36.950 I'm happy to be your personal umbrella and everything, 00:13:36.950 --> 00:13:40.240 but I may have to split, like real, real soon! 00:13:40.240 --> 00:13:42.900 Rainbow Dash, don't you even think about it. 00:13:42.900 --> 00:13:47.240 Twilight, you know I don't want to do this, but I don't think I have a choice. 00:13:47.240 --> 00:13:50.320 You remember that one night stand that I mentioned earlier? Well, she- 00:13:50.320 --> 00:13:52.260 I'm going to stop you right there. 00:13:52.260 --> 00:13:54.040 Rainbow, if you ditch me now, 00:13:54.040 --> 00:13:57.580 and the rain drenches me and my food, so help me God, 00:13:57.580 --> 00:13:59.910 not only will I not give you the ticket, 00:13:59.910 --> 00:14:05.220 but I'll also beat the hell out of you, tie you up and leave you where nopony will ever EVER find you, 00:14:05.220 --> 00:14:08.200 and buy another ticket just to rip up and throw in your face! 00:14:08.200 --> 00:14:09.610 Do you understand!? 00:14:09.610 --> 00:14:11.820 -Twilight... -Rainbow... 00:14:11.820 --> 00:14:12.800 I'm sorry! 00:14:12.800 --> 00:14:15.100 -Don't you... -RAINBOW DASH! GET BACK HERE! 00:14:15.100 --> 00:14:17.470 -*Grunts* -YOU FUCKING WHORE, I'LL KILL YOU! 00:14:18.280 --> 00:14:20.500 Twilight! It's raining. 00:14:20.500 --> 00:14:21.540 Fuck you. 00:14:21.540 --> 00:14:23.160 Quick! To the Fashion Cave! 00:14:23.160 --> 00:14:24.880 *Transition!* 00:14:29.000 --> 00:14:31.500 Ha, two birds with one stone! 00:14:32.270 --> 00:14:33.460 *Ahem* 00:14:33.460 --> 00:14:35.270 *Laughs* 00:14:35.270 --> 00:14:38.060 Two birds with one stone! That's brilliant! 00:14:38.060 --> 00:14:40.140 Simply hilarious! 00:14:40.140 --> 00:14:44.980 Tell me darling, does someone write your material or are you just that comically gifted? 00:14:44.980 --> 00:14:46.630 I'm just that funny! 00:14:46.630 --> 00:14:50.520 It's a shame you don't have a gorgeous outfit to match your shining looks! 00:14:50.520 --> 00:14:53.000 You're right... It is a shame! 00:14:53.000 --> 00:14:57.990 I don't have any nice dresses that compliment my looks or my wonderful personality! 00:14:57.990 --> 00:15:01.940 Ah, yes, how could I have forgotten about that... 00:15:01.940 --> 00:15:06.160 You know what, I think I just may happen to have the perfect outfit for you! 00:15:06.160 --> 00:15:08.790 Well then what the hell are we standing around for? 00:15:08.790 --> 00:15:09.740 Bring it in! 00:15:09.740 --> 00:15:10.990 *Drill?* 00:15:10.990 --> 00:15:12.540 Oh, Rarity! 00:15:12.540 --> 00:15:15.000 -If you keep moving I'll have to tie you up. -Watch it! Please! 00:15:15.000 --> 00:15:17.770 -Almost done! -At least buy me dinner first. 00:15:19.380 --> 00:15:22.210 Oh my, you look stunning! 00:15:22.210 --> 00:15:23.690 I do, don't I? 00:15:23.690 --> 00:15:26.720 Hey, you should stick Spike into something really stupid! 00:15:26.720 --> 00:15:30.060 Um, okay... I guess, if that's what you want... 00:15:30.760 --> 00:15:33.130 Dude, get off me! The fuck are you doing!? 00:15:33.130 --> 00:15:34.900 -You are little, aren't you? -Quit it! 00:15:36.940 --> 00:15:38.200 Ah, gay! 00:15:38.200 --> 00:15:40.260 -*Laughs* -Yes, funny... 00:15:40.260 --> 00:15:43.050 Okay! Well, you guys have fun! 00:15:43.050 --> 00:15:46.550 I'm just gonna make sure nopony's broken into our home... Bye! 00:15:46.550 --> 00:15:49.040 Oh, don't you just look magnificent? 00:15:49.280 --> 00:15:55.020 Why, with just a little more sprucing up I bet I could get you good looking enough to hook you up with a castle guard 00:15:55.020 --> 00:16:00.210 or a chef or a nice stallion from the lowest branch of castle workers! 00:16:00.820 --> 00:16:01.740 What? 00:16:01.740 --> 00:16:05.580 Of course, I would have to put on your outfit's match first. 00:16:05.580 --> 00:16:08.380 Seeing as pony as perfect as I 00:16:08.380 --> 00:16:12.720 would also be wearing that dress is probably the only way they'd enjoy seeing you in it. 00:16:12.720 --> 00:16:15.660 You wanna run that by me again? 00:16:15.660 --> 00:16:17.860 I was just thinking out loud, is all! 00:16:17.860 --> 00:16:21.030 You see, Fluttershy made a good point earlier, 00:16:21.030 --> 00:16:23.300 but there is a way my plan could work 00:16:23.300 --> 00:16:26.580 and that's if you also hooked up with a member of the royal family, 00:16:26.580 --> 00:16:29.040 but seeing as how that could never work, 00:16:29.040 --> 00:16:32.480 I suppose we could settle for a lowly castle drone! 00:16:32.480 --> 00:16:37.270 And why would I not be able to get my own prince? 00:16:37.270 --> 00:16:39.050 Well, let's face it, my dear, 00:16:39.050 --> 00:16:42.890 I was stretching the truth a little bit when I first brought you in here. 00:16:43.220 --> 00:16:44.400 Uh-huh. 00:16:44.400 --> 00:16:49.630 I mean, sure you're pretty, but really you're just Earth Pony pretty, 00:16:49.630 --> 00:16:52.120 or Pegasus pretty, you know, 00:16:52.120 --> 00:16:55.680 not quite up to Unicorn standards. 00:16:55.940 --> 00:16:57.400 Okay... 00:16:57.400 --> 00:17:03.330 But, after seeing you in that dress I must say you look positively presentable! 00:17:03.330 --> 00:17:04.280 Right. 00:17:04.280 --> 00:17:06.710 So, I declare the plan back on! 00:17:06.710 --> 00:17:11.400 Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to hold on to my ticket until the day of the Gala. 00:17:11.400 --> 00:17:15.520 I want to know it's in safe, capable hooves, you understand. 00:17:15.810 --> 00:17:17.190 I understand. 00:17:17.190 --> 00:17:19.480 I understand perfectly fine. 00:17:19.480 --> 00:17:25.380 However, I think you may have misunderstood me earlier when I was telling you about the ticket. 00:17:25.380 --> 00:17:26.140 Oh? 00:17:26.140 --> 00:17:29.960 You see, I didn't really say that you could have the ticket. 00:17:29.960 --> 00:17:32.870 What I actually said was GO FUCK YOURSELF! 00:17:32.870 --> 00:17:34.040 But Twilight! 00:17:34.040 --> 00:17:36.430 Nope! Ticket's gone, you blew it! 00:17:36.430 --> 00:17:38.820 Whoo, did somepony say lunch!? 00:17:38.820 --> 00:17:39.520 No. 00:17:39.520 --> 00:17:42.550 I couldn't help but notice that y'all didn't get to finish your meal earlier! 00:17:42.550 --> 00:17:43.930 That's unsettling. 00:17:43.930 --> 00:17:46.680 Aw, c'mon, what's a little stalking between friends? 00:17:46.680 --> 00:17:49.260 Besides, look at all these tasty eats I got! 00:17:49.260 --> 00:17:50.590 How 'bout ya have a bite? 00:17:50.590 --> 00:17:53.730 While you're eatin' ya can think about all the money these here'll drum up at the Gala! 00:17:53.730 --> 00:17:55.160 Why, don't mind if I... 00:17:55.160 --> 00:17:56.280 *Evil giggle* 00:17:56.280 --> 00:17:57.290 What? 00:17:57.290 --> 00:17:58.300 Nothin'. 00:17:59.000 --> 00:18:00.780 Now go on, Twi, 00:18:00.780 --> 00:18:02.610 why don't y'all have a bite? 00:18:02.610 --> 00:18:04.110 *Stomach growl* 00:18:04.110 --> 00:18:07.410 I bet you'll find they're to die for! 00:18:07.410 --> 00:18:08.980 *Laughs* 00:18:09.290 --> 00:18:10.880 Apples... Poison... 00:18:10.880 --> 00:18:12.500 You're trying to kill me! 00:18:12.500 --> 00:18:14.740 Ye-NO! No! 00:18:15.400 --> 00:18:16.420 I'm not! 00:18:16.420 --> 00:18:20.320 You bitch! Well, you can kiss your chances of winning goodbye! 00:18:20.320 --> 00:18:23.300 And to think I was this close to giving you that ticket! 00:18:23.900 --> 00:18:25.220 Damn! 00:18:25.220 --> 00:18:26.200 Next time... 00:18:27.540 --> 00:18:29.940 Morons, all of them! 00:18:30.120 --> 00:18:33.180 I'm surrounded by god damn morons! 00:18:34.230 --> 00:18:39.380 ♪ Why give in? It's not enough, it never is. 00:18:39.380 --> 00:18:42.740 -Oh, lord. Fluttershy, go away. -♪ So I will go on until the end 00:18:42.740 --> 00:18:44.900 Oh, well, hello, Twilight, 00:18:44.900 --> 00:18:46.950 I didn't expect to see you here. 00:18:46.950 --> 00:18:48.250 In my house? 00:18:48.250 --> 00:18:51.680 Well, we haven't really established that yet, have we? 00:18:51.680 --> 00:18:54.600 Episode 1, Pinkie Pie, talking about library: 00:18:54.600 --> 00:18:57.140 “Anypony can use it for whatever they want.” 00:18:57.140 --> 00:18:59.190 Sounds pretty established to me. 00:18:59.190 --> 00:19:02.320 I know, I just wanted to make it clear to the viewers. 00:19:02.640 --> 00:19:04.900 We were just cleaning the library up for you. 00:19:04.900 --> 00:19:09.040 It looks exactly the same as when I left this morning, unless... 00:19:09.040 --> 00:19:10.260 What did you do? 00:19:10.260 --> 00:19:12.270 Um, well... 00:19:12.270 --> 00:19:16.800 Me and my animal friends stopped by so we could go over our master plan together, 00:19:16.800 --> 00:19:19.400 but then they kinda... 00:19:19.400 --> 00:19:22.300 Shit all over everything... 00:19:22.300 --> 00:19:25.670 But it's okay! We cleaned it up and Angel Bunny made you a salad! 00:19:25.670 --> 00:19:27.760 Get out! No ticket for you! 00:19:27.760 --> 00:19:29.740 You've got five minutes to leave! 00:19:29.740 --> 00:19:32.800 When I come back in, any animals I see I'm killing! 00:19:32.800 --> 00:19:34.930 Surprise! 00:19:35.930 --> 00:19:38.550 ♪ Twilight is my bestest friend whoopie, whoopie! 00:19:38.550 --> 00:19:39.130 Pinkie... 00:19:39.130 --> 00:19:41.810 ♪ Every other ponies pissed her off, but me, hee hee! 00:19:41.810 --> 00:19:42.360 Pinkie. 00:19:42.360 --> 00:19:44.780 ♪ So she'll have to give the ticket to me, to me! 00:19:44.780 --> 00:19:45.380 Pinkie! 00:19:45.380 --> 00:19:47.840 ♪ Heathen Gala ponies will see the light, they'll see! 00:19:47.840 --> 00:19:49.770 PINKIE! 00:19:51.490 --> 00:19:53.080 Yes, Twilight? 00:19:54.200 --> 00:19:56.680 Every other pony in Equestria could die 00:19:56.680 --> 00:19:59.670 and I still wouldn't give that extra ticket to you! 00:19:59.670 --> 00:20:01.100 Oh, well... 00:20:02.020 --> 00:20:03.900 CPE members, attack! 00:20:03.900 --> 00:20:08.670 *Mad pony noises* 00:20:08.670 --> 00:20:11.000 Twilight, they've blocked off all exits from the town! 00:20:11.000 --> 00:20:12.190 There's no escape! 00:20:12.490 --> 00:20:14.550 Then... We... 00:20:14.550 --> 00:20:18.280 Fight! ARGH! 00:20:18.280 --> 00:20:21.340 [*Okay, I give up, I CAN'T HEAR THEM*] 00:20:21.340 --> 00:20:24.440 [*Really, I can't understand any word they're saying!*] 00:20:24.440 --> 00:20:27.000 [*What is this text doing here, WHAT IS MY LIFE*] 00:20:28.060 --> 00:20:29.200 *Whoosh* 00:20:30.430 --> 00:20:33.140 D-did we beat them, are they dead? 00:20:33.140 --> 00:20:34.870 Not dead, but injured! 00:20:34.870 --> 00:20:37.640 And without their leader, not likely to attack us again. 00:20:37.640 --> 00:20:39.420 But still, lock the doors! 00:20:44.520 --> 00:20:45.440 Phew. 00:20:46.600 --> 00:20:48.060 Impossible! 00:20:48.060 --> 00:20:50.760 Pinkie, I watched you die at my horn! 00:20:52.050 --> 00:20:54.860 Wait, that's it! Brat mode activated! 00:20:55.330 --> 00:20:59.080 All I wanted was to do something nice for my friends, 00:20:59.080 --> 00:21:02.280 but I didn't have enough for all of you, so... 00:21:02.280 --> 00:21:06.790 So I thought whoever wants the ticket the most should get it, 00:21:06.790 --> 00:21:09.100 and it would be fair to everyone! 00:21:09.100 --> 00:21:12.060 But no! You guys screwed it up 00:21:12.060 --> 00:21:15.510 and you turned it into a competition of greed 00:21:15.510 --> 00:21:18.140 and- and greediness! 00:21:18.140 --> 00:21:23.710 And now nopony's happy and it's all my fault! 00:21:23.710 --> 00:21:26.020 Aw hell, Twilight, I'm sorry. 00:21:26.020 --> 00:21:28.380 Ah didn't mean to make y'all feel so bad... 00:21:28.380 --> 00:21:30.440 Ya know what? Piss on that ticket, 00:21:30.440 --> 00:21:32.270 Ah don't even want it no more! 00:21:32.870 --> 00:21:36.140 Well, I'm not going. Neither can Rarity. 00:21:36.590 --> 00:21:41.180 And me too! I probably shouldn't have had everypony attack you like that... 00:21:41.390 --> 00:21:43.890 Twilight, it was unfair of me to- 00:21:44.360 --> 00:21:45.860 Wait, what? Fuck! 00:21:45.860 --> 00:21:49.400 Yes! That means the ticket is mine, ha ha! 00:21:49.400 --> 00:21:52.580 ♪ Oh the Grand Galloping Gala, time to meet Dashie! 00:21:52.580 --> 00:21:55.860 ♪ Oh the Grand Galloping Gala, lickin' on Spitfire's p... 00:21:56.720 --> 00:21:58.680 What? Fuck you guys! 00:21:58.780 --> 00:22:01.980 You all gave up your chances to go, that doesn't mean I have to suffer! 00:22:02.600 --> 00:22:05.260 *sigh* Fine, whatever... 00:22:05.270 --> 00:22:08.680 If only there was some way for you to get 6 tickets instead of 2, 00:22:08.680 --> 00:22:13.890 we all would sure certainly forget all the bad things you did today and respect you even more for coming through for us. 00:22:13.890 --> 00:22:15.000 Ain't that right girls? 00:22:15.000 --> 00:22:16.110 *Agreement* 00:22:16.110 --> 00:22:18.040 Spike, take down a note. 00:22:18.040 --> 00:22:20.080 Dear Chancellor Celestia, 00:22:20.080 --> 00:22:24.070 who the hell do you think you are only sending us two tickets!? 00:22:24.070 --> 00:22:27.930 You think you can break apart the bonds of our friendship so easily? 00:22:27.930 --> 00:22:32.220 I demand that you send four additional tickets so that we can all go, 00:22:32.220 --> 00:22:34.880 and that you never EVER try this shit again! 00:22:34.880 --> 00:22:36.930 Love, Twilight Sparkle. 00:22:36.930 --> 00:22:39.020 Alright, Spike, let her have it! 00:22:42.100 --> 00:22:43.920 Do you really think that'll work? 00:22:43.920 --> 00:22:49.350 If I know Celestia's timing as well as I think I do and my calculations are correct, 00:22:49.350 --> 00:22:51.100 -...this shouldn't backfire. -What? 00:22:51.100 --> 00:22:52.310 -Nothing. -*Burp* 00:22:52.310 --> 00:22:53.510 Whoa, nelly! 00:22:54.700 --> 00:22:56.530 Oh, thank you, sweet, merciful God! 00:22:58.140 --> 00:23:01.660 As promised earlier today, here are the remaining four tickets. 00:23:02.560 --> 00:23:05.060 That's six tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala! 00:23:05.060 --> 00:23:05.670 *Gasp* 00:23:05.670 --> 00:23:08.810 Wait, did he say as promised earlier? 00:23:08.810 --> 00:23:10.770 Now we can all go! 00:23:10.770 --> 00:23:12.640 -*Cheering* -Stop ignoring me! 00:23:12.640 --> 00:23:15.960 I'm so happy I'm not sure what she said, nor do I care! 00:23:15.960 --> 00:23:18.530 We should go get hammered to celebrate! I'mma drink till I can't feel feelings! 00:23:18.530 --> 00:23:21.430 Careful, the town's still a desecrated mess from the battle! 00:23:21.720 --> 00:23:56.810 *Ending song plays*