{"upload_date": "20160815", "creator": null, "height": 1080, "like_count": 139, "duration": 184, "fulltitle": "\u2763 ~\u043d\u03c3\u03c9 \u03b9 \u0192\u0454\u0454\u2113 \u2113\u03b1\u0442\u0454\u2113\u0443~ \u2763 II \u300c\u03b7\u03b9g\u043d\u0442\u00a2\u03c3\u044f\u0454\u300d", "playlist_index": 2, "view_count": 1308, "playlist": "Uploads from \u03c1\u03b9\u03b7\u043a\u0454\u0455 \u0454\u03b9\u03b7\u043d\u03c3\u044f\u03b7TM", "title": "\u2763 ~\u043d\u03c3\u03c9 \u03b9 \u0192\u0454\u0454\u2113 \u2113\u03b1\u0442\u0454\u2113\u0443~ \u2763 II \u300c\u03b7\u03b9g\u043d\u0442\u00a2\u03c3\u044f\u0454\u300d", "_filename": "/home/zizzydizzymc/archive/youtube/\u03c1\u03b9\u03b7\u043a\u0454\u0455_\u0454\u03b9\u03b7\u043d\u03c3\u044f\u03b7_UCBARaGauLJXlvnObKmKTD4w/~_~_II_g-TM-20160815-youtube-1920x1080-8TuqllxhK2I.mp4", "tags": ["nightcore", "boyinaband", "biab", "im not dead", "pinkes einhorn", "dont stay in school", "spectrum", "love dust", "self hate", "depression", "help"], "is_live": null, "id": "8TuqllxhK2I", "dislike_count": 7, "average_rating": 4.80821895599, "abr": 128, "uploader_url": "http://www.youtube.com/user/AngelSoulAMV", "categories": ["Entertainment"], "fps": 30, "stretched_ratio": null, "age_limit": 0, "annotations": null, "webpage_url_basename": "8TuqllxhK2I", "acodec": "mp4a.40.2", "display_id": "8TuqllxhK2I", "automatic_captions": {}, "description": "\u10e6 *\ud83d\udc9d\u300c\u03c3\u03c1\u0454\u03b7 \u043c\u0454 \u0192\u03c3\u044f \u00a2\u03c5\u03c1\u00a2\u03b1\u043a\u0454\u0455 \u03b1\u03b7\u2202 \u00a2\u03c3\u03c3\u043a\u03b9\u0454\u0455\u300d\ud83d\udc9d* \u10e6\n\n\u2765\u00a2\u03c3\u043c\u043c\u0454\u03b7\u0442:\nHello guys~\nI came on the idea to do this song after I got an panic attack this morning...\nSo yeah this describes how I feel lately pretty well.... I feel like I would be dead inside. Like you can clearly see that I dont upload that often anymore cause I dont really have any creativity and people are copying me anyways and get congrats for this shit so why even bother right. Eventho I have to say... I met many people here. I met people which are nice, kind and always there for you. But I also met some bitches, especially I met persons who spread rumors that I would bully them. Just to make this clear if I dont like someone and dont want to be in contact with someone I  dont give any fucks about that person. They told me I'm \u201eagressiv\u201c and \u201eannoying\u201c and I blocked them cauz I have other problems then hearing your shit about me. That NOT bullying. I got bullied when I was younger too why should I want that other people go through the same hell.? I want to be honest with you guys. I feel not that good for a long time, I put so much pressure on me, I always want to be perfect but mostly I fuck up so hard. I never wanted to be like this. I never wanted to be so unstable. I felt good for a while now but all this shit in my head starts again, it feels like a big storm I cant stop. Something in me wants to fight against me so hard. I cant explain how it feels to have all those emotions at once. It feels like I feel everything and nothing at the same time. Its a really weird feeling. I want to get everything done so badly but I feel like I disappoint everyone. I see myself that I act really weird, I dont know what I want. I dont want to be alone but at the same time I press everyone away who wants to be with me and wants to help me... but when my friends ignore me or not write me cauz of what ever reasons and then blaming me for EVERYTHING hurts me.  Im pretty sensitiv and I get scared easily. I dont leave the house without a good reason. Whatever someone says can shatter everything in me. It really scary how I can be a hyper happy maniac in the first minute and then switching to an depressed person.  I have no motivation and no inspirisation to do any videos... without any pressure I cant do anything. I know I can be an asshole sometimes but if u get to know me I can be really nice I promise... I really dont know what I can say anymore \u2026 My head is empty but full with stuff at the same time... I feel alone eventho I know I'm not. I know that I'm good at some kinds of editing. But I just dont feel like I'm not good enough. I want to grow over myself. I want to be better. I want to learn more.\n\nI know I'm not the only person with those problems.. I just want to let  everyone in this situation know that you are not alone. I want you to stay strong. Everyone of you. You all are unique. You all look and feel different but believe me not everything is bad. We just need to find the good things in our lifes, this is one of the things I learned from Vicky. I want you all to stand brave. Stand tall. Be yourself. We will go through this rain. Thing about the rainbow which is after every rainy day. You are on this earth for a reason. Stay strong.\u2665\n\nAnd I hope its okey if I only upload videos when I can cause I want to take care of myself first, I think I have to go through this alone and I want to take care of me. The only one who was with me the whole times, forgives me, dot judges me and is still lovely to me even when I get upset at her and beeing an asshole to her is Vicky and I'm so so fucking grateful for this..\u2665\n\nI dont want people feeling sorry for me. I made this for the people who feel the same, so they can see that they are not alone.\u2665\n\n\n\nI know some text is cut out. It took 2 hours to render I i dont have the time and nerves to render it again. -.-\n-----------------------------\n\n\u10e6 *II \u03c9\u03b1\u03b7\u03b7\u03b1 \u2113\u0454\u03b1\u044f\u03b7 \u043c\u03c3\u044f\u0454? II* \u10e6\n\n\u2765\u03c1\u03b1\u044f\u0442 \u0192\u03c3\u044f-\n\u2765\u03c1\u03b1\u044f\u0442: -\n\u2765\u043c\u03c5\u0455\u03b9\u00a2 I'm not dead\n\u2765\u03b1\u044f\u0442\u03b9\u0455\u0442: Boyinaband\n\n\u2765\u03c1\u044f\u03c3g\u044f\u03b1\u043c\u043c \u03c5\u0455\u0454\u2202: \u0455\u03c3\u03b7\u0443 \u03bd\u0454g\u03b1\u0455 \u03c1\u044f\u03c3 13.0\n\n-----------------------------\n\n\u10e6 *II \u0443\u03c3\u03c5 \u00a2\u03b1\u03b7 \u03b1\u2202\u2202 \u043c\u0454 \u043d\u0454\u044f\u0454: II* \u10e6\n\n\u2765\u03b9\u03b7\u0455\u0442\u0454\u044fg\u03b1\u043c: always-be-a-pink-unicorn \u300c\u03b1\u00a2\u0442\u03b9\u03bd\u0454 \u03b1\u0192\u300d\n\u2765\u0442\u03c9\u03b9\u0442\u0442\u0454\u044f: x_lastunicorn_x\n\u2765\u0455\u03b7\u03b1\u03c1\u00a2\u043d\u03b1\u0442: xpink-unicornx \u300c\u03b1\u00a2\u0442\u03b9\u03bd\u0454 \u03b1\u0192\u300d\n\n\u2765\u043c\u03c3\u03bd\u03b9\u0454\u0455\u0442\u03b1\u044f\u03c1\u2113\u03b1\u03b7\u0454\u0442 \u300cg\u0454\u044f\u043c\u03b1\u03b7 \u0455\u0454\u044f\u03bd\u0454\u044f\u300d:\n#Lisa##16\n#finishmex3\n\u2665-Lisa\u2665.\n!! Asking Alexandria !!\n\n\u2765\u043c\u03c3\u03bd\u03b9\u0454\u0455\u0442\u03b1\u044f\u03c1\u2113\u03b1\u03b7\u0454\u0442 \u300c\u03c5\u043a \u0455\u0454\u044f\u03bd\u0454\u044f\u300d:\n#Lisa##16\n\n\u2765\u0192\u03b1\u00a2\u0454\u0432\u03c3\u03c3\u043a:\nhttps://www.facebook.com/profile.php?\n\n\u2765\u2202\u0454\u03bd\u03b9\u03b1\u03b7\u0442\u03b1\u044f\u0442: \u300c\u03b1\u00a2\u0442\u03b9\u03bd\u0454 \u03b1\u0192\u300d\nhttp://xxpinkeseinhornxx.deviantart.com/\n\n\u2765\u03c3\u2202\u03b7\u03c3\u043a\u2113\u03b1\u0455\u0455\u03b7\u03b9\u043a\u03b9: \u300c\u03b9 \u2202\u03c3\u03b7\u0442 \u0455\u03c1\u044f\u0454\u03b1\u043a \u044f\u03c5\u0455\u0455\u03b9\u03b1\u03b7 \u0442\u043d\u03c3\u300d\nhttps://ok.ru/profile.t.pinkeseinhorn\n\n\u2765\u00a2\u03c3\u00a2\u03c3\u03c1\u03c1\u03b1 \u03c1\u2113\u03b1\u0443:\npinkes Einhorn\u2122\n-----------------------------\n\nCopyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for 'fair use' for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. 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