WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: zh-TW

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黑暗靈魂！

00:00:01.440 --> 00:00:05.040
IGN攻略說一無所有者是最強的職業

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我才不信這會有多自虐，我偏要玩

00:00:11.240 --> 00:00:12.880
"在遙遠的古文明..."

00:00:12.880 --> 00:00:14.880
誰鳥你啊，這是角色扮演耶

00:00:15.160 --> 00:00:16.040
劇情不重要

00:00:16.320 --> 00:00:18.320
動作場面才是精髓

00:00:18.520 --> 00:00:19.960
讓我們開始吧

00:00:21.220 --> 00:00:24.460
噁，那啥 - 矮額！
那是我嗎？！

00:00:24.460 --> 00:00:27.880
我是饒舌歌手的話
我就叫MC HotDog了

00:00:27.880 --> 00:00:30.040
我的角色怎麼了？

00:00:30.040 --> 00:00:32.600
遊戲還沒開始前我就死的差不多了

00:00:33.580 --> 00:00:36.720
喔，那是遊戲裡的第一個敵人

00:00:36.720 --> 00:00:38.720
巴拉巴拉巴拉巴拉

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（你的決定是？）
好

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巴拉巴拉巴拉巴拉

00:00:43.480 --> 00:00:45.980
閉嘴啦！天吶

00:00:45.980 --> 00:00:47.680
這傢伙一直靠北！

00:00:47.680 --> 00:00:49.680
一擊必殺

00:00:49.680 --> 00:00:51.680
這遊戲太簡單啦，小子們

00:00:51.680 --> 00:00:54.360
想擊敗我就拿更困難的遊戲來

00:00:54.360 --> 00:00:55.180
就是這麼一回事

00:00:55.180 --> 00:00:57.180
傳火祭祀場？

00:00:58.160 --> 00:00:59.960
"噁，來者何人？"

00:00:59.960 --> 00:01:00.980
巴拉巴拉巴拉巴拉

00:01:00.980 --> 00:01:01.880
"來者何人？"

00:01:01.880 --> 00:01:03.880
"來者 - "
你個賤人！

00:01:03.880 --> 00:01:05.100
喔不...

00:01:05.100 --> 00:01:06.880
（"你為什麼要逼我呢？"）

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IGN騙我

00:01:08.560 --> 00:01:09.800
最強的職業是...那個...

00:01:10.040 --> 00:01:11.560
...護甲鍛造師（戰士）

00:01:13.640 --> 00:01:14.140
糟糕

00:01:15.300 --> 00:01:15.800
幹！

00:01:16.280 --> 00:01:17.220
他一直追著我跑

00:01:17.340 --> 00:01:18.080
都不累的耶

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啥？

00:01:20.560 --> 00:01:22.020
該死的，他還活著

00:01:23.340 --> 00:01:24.740
來了喔

00:01:25.760 --> 00:01:27.760
守護我，吾王啊

00:01:30.300 --> 00:01:32.300
掰啦！你這死屁孩

00:01:34.500 --> 00:01:35.820
你可以看到他被炒了

00:01:35.960 --> 00:01:37.540
大部分人沒辦法跳過這裡

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我可不一樣

00:01:43.760 --> 00:01:45.760
看來我被炒了

00:01:45.800 --> 00:01:47.080
整個遊戲就這裡最好玩

00:01:47.360 --> 00:01:49.100
殺光那些桌子

00:01:49.840 --> 00:01:52.200
（巨石強森招牌語）
"The Rock is Cooking..."

00:01:52.200 --> 00:01:55.500
快開門啊，天吶

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他走不出來！

00:01:57.820 --> 00:01:59.820
他連自己的門都出不來

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你這白癡！

00:02:01.960 --> 00:02:03.540
你這死屁孩！

00:02:04.120 --> 00:02:06.000
連自己的門都出不來

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丟不丟臉啊！

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兄弟

00:02:10.660 --> 00:02:12.360
這遊戲一點也不難

00:02:12.360 --> 00:02:13.900
根本是給小孩玩的，我 -

00:02:14.020 --> 00:02:14.880
看看這個

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他連自己的門都走不出 -

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牛頭的惡魔是很強的頭目

00:02:21.680 --> 00:02:22.440
非常 - 喔

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幹你的咧

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（劍魂）
"傳說永不消逝"

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一擊必殺！

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就跟平常一樣兄弟們

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應該讓我來寫IGN攻略

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無法裝備？
誰稀罕

00:02:39.320 --> 00:02:40.840
兩滴傷害？

00:02:42.800 --> 00:02:44.300
逮到你啦

00:02:44.300 --> 00:02:46.300
我的天啊！

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為什麼殘害我的眼睛

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就差一點...

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就差一點...

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就差一點...

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快好了...

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牠 - 靠

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山羊頭的惡魔

00:03:02.620 --> 00:03:05.320
可能是惡魔靈魂中最難纏的頭目

00:03:05.720 --> 00:03:07.900
除非你像我一樣給他一擊必 -

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你牛肉宰得如何了？

00:03:11.240 --> 00:03:14.900
看我屠宰這傢伙

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懂我說的吧

00:03:15.820 --> 00:03:17.820
你在牢籠裡幹嘛？

00:03:17.820 --> 00:03:19.520
正在召喚靈體...

00:03:20.460 --> 00:03:23.800
你已經召喚將近三小時了

00:03:24.460 --> 00:03:24.960
我只是要 -

00:03:25.200 --> 00:03:26.220
召喚赫克林啊！

00:03:26.320 --> 00:03:28.320
召喚歐巴馬！

00:03:28.500 --> 00:03:30.800
召喚克林頓！丘巴卡！

00:03:30.800 --> 00:03:31.680
我才不稀罕！

00:03:31.760 --> 00:03:36.260
你從星際大戰首部曲
剛出來就在召喚了

00:03:37.240 --> 00:03:39.240
- 從石器時代就在召喚！

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算了，我自己來

00:03:41.660 --> 00:03:45.540
我我我 - 我自己來

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我自個兒來

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*神鬼奇航主題曲*
暫停一下，等等

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我得對我的武器使用＂黄金松脂＂

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就能把貪食魔龍一擊必殺

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就那麼簡單

00:04:01.580 --> 00:04:04.540
這遊戲本來就該這麼暗

00:04:05.460 --> 00:04:06.540
出發吧

00:04:07.040 --> 00:04:09.000
好像有人在追我

00:04:09.440 --> 00:04:11.040
我什麼屁都看不到 -

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蝴蝶？！

00:04:12.240 --> 00:04:15.080
當我是小女孩嗎？

00:04:15.500 --> 00:04:17.220
還是玩些真男人的遊戲

00:04:17.220 --> 00:04:20.360
像是大魔界村，這遊戲真的有難度

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而且非常有挑戰性 - 個屁！

00:04:22.440 --> 00:04:24.080
回去玩黑暗靈魂

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這邊我要召喚一個玩家來幫忙

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三小？
成功了！

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跟我走，夥伴

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噁！天啊！

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矮額！

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噁心！

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喔不！

00:04:39.420 --> 00:04:41.620
我怎麼可能打得贏岩漿人

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除非他繼續把手放在這裡

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喝 - 啥？

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嗄？

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我真的給他一擊必殺耶

00:04:52.900 --> 00:04:54.240
這遊戲做壞了

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不用在意我，我只是顆蛋

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等我媽媽來接我 -

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牠上當了，各位

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白癡 - 我才不是蛋！
哈哈哈！

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你現在是巫師了

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這裡是我打第一個頭目的地方

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然後我現在要到底下
打他的兄弟，離群的惡魔 -

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他把我一擊必殺耶！

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"外頭在下雨 - "

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你想幹嘛？小兔兔

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臭婊子！

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糟糕，抓包囉

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喔 -

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*印第安納瓊斯主題曲*

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"我們把狗取名叫印第安納 - "

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*薩爾達傳說BGM*

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啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！！

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幹你媽！

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喔 - 我惹他發飆了

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哈哈，來找你爸！

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貪婪銀蛇戒指

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終於

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被我拿到手了

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哇...

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給我的？！

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喔...

00:06:19.560 --> 00:06:20.800
喔...不

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我的天啊

00:06:22.700 --> 00:06:24.700
我連站都站不起來

00:06:24.700 --> 00:06:26.700
讓我補血，讓我補個血 - 好吧

00:06:27.020 --> 00:06:29.020
站起來，站起來，站起來 -

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小笨狗！

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訣竅是，你得鑽進牠底下

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直接滾進去，就像這樣 -

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吃我屌啦！

00:06:38.260 --> 00:06:40.260
逮到你啦！好戲上場囉

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砍牠腳！

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噢噢，牠掰咖了

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哭哭喔

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是不是有人欺負你啊 -

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踹共啊廢物！死媽拉基狗！
我恨死你了啦！

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我恨你！爽啦！