WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: zh-Hant

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[輪胎摩擦聲]

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♪ ♪

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[電話鈴聲]

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嘎! 叭! 蛤!? 什麼?　喔!

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偵察兵　是我　寶琳
情報箱到手了嗎?

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喔　是啊

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沒人看見你們?

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呃　基本上沒人瞧見

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偵察兵我人在現場　別唬我

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其實說來好笑...

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寶琳小姐您好!
我們殺光了全部敵人並取得了情報箱!

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並非全部　火箭兵　你們漏了七位目擊者

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[槍聲]

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六位

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寶琳: 聽著　你們只管保護好情報箱就好了　明白嗎?

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祝你們週末愉快

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寶琳小姐再見! 我要下車了!

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掰掰　就這樣吧

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寶琳小姐　等等!
在妳掛斷之前　呃...

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[偵察兵結巴中]

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偵察兵?　你說話呀?

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妳這個週末應該是很忙對不?

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你提起這件事說來正巧　嗯...

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看來我似乎整個週末都會忙著處理屍體

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這樣你才不會被抓去坐牢

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那好－好啊　看來我倆都剛好要忙

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[警車聲]

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喔! 我得走了

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大家都有很多忙事兒... 要忙

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間諜: 又在和撥號音約會嗎?

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去死吧間諜!

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嘿　看看這些東西　二位知識份子在幹些啥？

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接的好

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對　聽著　呃... 我們用傳送裝置進行了一些實驗

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我想你們都該來看看

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[傳送裝置音效]

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偵察兵: 哇! 它能傳送麵包!

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那真是呃... 重大發現
爆破兵啤酒買回來了沒?

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哇! 那他媽的是什麼?!

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腫瘤

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大家都明白這意味著什麼吧?

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火箭兵: 啊啊啊!

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我們再也不能傳送麵包了!

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工程師: 不! 不... 不全然是如此的　火箭兵

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你能盡情地傳送麵包

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你們大家都聽著

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若有任何事你們會想在翹...

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臨終之前完成的話
現在會是一個絕佳的時機

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間諜: 我們大概還剩多久時間?

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我看看　假設大家每天傳送六次

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乘以四年
除以我們不是麵包　嗯

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三天　是的　我們都...

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只剩三天可活!

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嘩嘩嘩嘩嘩嘩嘩哇!! 哇哈哈哈! 哈!

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啥?

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間諜: 這是個桶子

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我的天哪

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不單如此

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不會吧

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裡頭有大家臨終前的遺願

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偵查兵　你收集了大家的願望了嗎?

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那當然!

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非常好　各位　將你的生命時鐘對時

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[嗶]

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我們還有七十小時能活
對一般人而言　時間僅剩不多

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但我們並非一般人

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我們是傭兵　我們擁有一般人所沒有的
資源和決心意志

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讓我們把握僅存的時間!

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時間可不等人　諸位　開始吧

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第一個願望是偵查兵的　他...

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畫了一張　我被車撞的圖

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而且我似乎散發著某種東西

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那些是臭氣
因為他太臭了所以車子才撞他

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我看得出來　接下來你畫了我和...

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和艾菲爾鐵塔從事性行為

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然後換艾菲爾鐵塔　和我進行性行為

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我和鐵塔完事後放鬆的樣子

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[唇語: 完事後?]

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我在哭泣　而艾菲爾鐵塔開始散發臭氣

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除了偵查兵之外
還有人在桶裡投入願望單嗎?!

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偵查兵: 經典之作　[竊笑]

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真是棒透了　根本在浪費我的時間

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你沒有讀我的！

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[嘆氣] 上面是否寫著　你想要這個水桶?

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是的!

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我們地獄裡再相會!

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[倒抽氣]

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[敲門聲]

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走開

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嘿　你有空嗎

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喔　偵查兵　請...
去 [消音] 你自己吧

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對　哈哈　你真幽默　總之我...

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[大叫]

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等一下　等一... 哎唷!
別這樣　間諜

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我拿我的腦袋當作門擋
就是要來和你道歉的

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有屁快放

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就是... 我其實有寫下一個遺願

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我其實... 想要和寶琳小姐約一次會

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你? 你的把妹技巧爛透了

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什麼? 喔不不不　間諜　看看這個

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這裡　和這裡
間諜你看這全套組合

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嘿　我追女孩子可是頗有心得

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瞧我們都有桶炸雞
要直接來嗎?

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嗯　好吧

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但是間諜　你對女人卻是攻無不克

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你知道的　那種比較典雅的女人
聞起來很香又識字的那種

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而且眼鏡永遠都戴不正的那一型　你知道嗎

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就是不會對我這種男人有興趣的那一型

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那你認為為何會如此?

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間諜別這樣　我不曉得　

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看來我們到死都永遠不會明白　再會

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等等　等等啊　 [嘆氣]

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好吧　間諜
接下的談話將永遠不會離開這房間　[嘆氣]

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你比我厲害　好嗎?
我真的需要你的幫助

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好吧　但我有個條件

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[麥克風回音]

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剛才的話　你重覆一次

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勾引我

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你?

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勾引我

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什麼　我才不要...

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勾引我!

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好好好　好的

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你好啊　可人兒
我這有一桶炸雞...

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我不是你平常勾搭的那種炸雞妹!

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我是個女人　我喜歡的男人
既危險又神秘

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要成為我的愛人　就得要會爭取!
勾引我!

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♪ ♪

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間諜: 最後一個問題
你晚上七點約了吃晚餐

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你該幾點到

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七點鐘　上午
先勘查餐廳　並調查所有職員的身家背景

00:08:08.760 --> 00:08:10.804
我能信任廚子嗎? 
若不能　就把他作了

00:08:10.943 --> 00:08:14.455
毀屍滅跡後再用自己人替代他
全部要在 4 點 30 分前完成

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你準備好了

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真的嗎?

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假的　你剛說全部都是瘋話
而我們的時間所剩不多

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恭喜你　你簡直糟糕透頂

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喔　我失敗了是嗎?

00:08:29.295 --> 00:08:29.861
是的

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是嗎?

00:08:30.874 --> 00:08:31.351
是的

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是嗎?

00:08:32.054 --> 00:08:33.063
偵察兵　講重點

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重點就是我不需要你的幫忙!
我自己能夠安排妥當

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你自己?

00:08:37.995 --> 00:08:39.979
是的　風流大少　我自己來

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你大可將你他奶奶的失敗
捲起來自己吞...

00:08:43.837 --> 00:08:45.175
喔好　我得走了

00:08:46.207 --> 00:08:47.159
但還是去你奶奶的

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[警報聲]

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你們準備好了嗎?

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準備好了!

00:09:11.332 --> 00:09:11.990
喔

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[吼]

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[驚叫]

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糟糕了

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[警報聲]

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妳準備好了　上吧
[深呼吸]

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啊啊啊!

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寶琳小姐嗎　真是個意外的驚喜

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他們偷走了情報箱
別擔心　我們能搞定它

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我們能神鬼不覺的奪回來
管理員她不會發現的

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妳看起來... 看起來...

00:09:45.984 --> 00:09:47.435
嗯...

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爆破兵: 喝醉了!

00:09:48.411 --> 00:09:50.327
火箭兵: 圓滾滾! 軟趴趴! 不... 圓滾滾!
爆破兵: 霧煞煞!

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真迷人

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寶琳: 對啦　你也是

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等等　情報箱仍好端端的在那
偵察兵你...

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你是要開舞會嗎?

00:09:59.423 --> 00:10:02.723
是阿　喔不　其實也是啦　不過但是
好吧其實是這樣的

00:10:02.913 --> 00:10:06.994
大夥兒! 好消息!　只有麵包會得腫瘤

00:10:07.029 --> 00:10:10.881
而且似乎不是腫瘤
它像是某種有自我意識的美人痣

00:10:10.915 --> 00:10:14.804
只在全麥的環境才會擴散

00:10:14.907 --> 00:10:15.928
你看這個

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看它多討厭我啊

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[笑]

00:10:21.480 --> 00:10:25.686
所以看來我們沒事了
只要大家不傳送麵包就行了

00:10:26.142 --> 00:10:26.853
問題

00:10:26.933 --> 00:10:28.531
什麼問題　火箭兵?

00:10:28.791 --> 00:10:30.084
我傳送了麵包

00:10:30.209 --> 00:10:30.833
什麼?

00:10:31.172 --> 00:10:31.910
你叫我這麼作的

00:10:32.318 --> 00:10:33.995
多少?

00:10:34.379 --> 00:10:36.703
我這三天除了傳送麵包之外
都沒做別的事

00:10:36.763 --> 00:10:39.379
什麼?! 你把它們傳送到哪去了?!

00:10:39.459 --> 00:10:42.067
[地震]

00:10:42.528 --> 00:10:47.791
偵察兵　我一年只有一天的休假
而你把它浪費在...

00:10:48.925 --> 00:10:51.167
這上面!　再見

00:10:51.213 --> 00:10:55.098
先等等! 先等等!
我們何不邊用餐邊討論?

00:10:55.189 --> 00:10:56.293
[吼]

00:10:56.327 --> 00:10:57.711
那是什麼鬼東西?!

00:11:20.418 --> 00:11:21.654
寶琳小姐　快走!

00:11:25.326 --> 00:11:26.346
就是現在　醫生!

00:12:06.572 --> 00:12:08.238
我認為進展得很順利不是嗎?

00:12:09.599 --> 00:12:10.619
快去吧

00:12:10.861 --> 00:12:14.138
寶琳小姐　真是對不起

00:12:14.194 --> 00:12:17.155
老天　偵察兵　何必?
你只是按了一個永遠不該按的按鈕罷了

00:12:17.168 --> 00:12:19.049
你知道一個情報箱裡存放著...

00:12:19.077 --> 00:12:20.169
喔! 喔! 快給我你的手錶!

00:12:20.285 --> 00:12:23.030
對啊　就是這個
一切都是從這玩意開始的

00:12:23.382 --> 00:12:24.584
等等...

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[大叫]

00:12:26.826 --> 00:12:30.344
哈哈哈! 我傳送了麵包!

00:12:37.232 --> 00:12:39.528
所以說整個故事的重點是
我喜歡妳　然後...

00:12:39.528 --> 00:12:40.526
妳現在其實應該要坐下來比較好

00:12:40.591 --> 00:12:43.379
你們快關上防爆門!

00:12:44.987 --> 00:12:47.198
寶琳小姐
在我的最後這幾個小時當中　我只想...

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[吼]

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快一點!

00:12:50.839 --> 00:12:52.142
呃　算了!

00:12:52.188 --> 00:12:53.050
寶琳: 快跑!

00:12:54.596 --> 00:12:55.435
喔天哪!

00:13:26.073 --> 00:13:28.579
[大叫]

00:13:37.850 --> 00:13:39.301
啊啊啊!

00:13:40.068 --> 00:13:43.409
[呻吟] 寶琳小姐　妳還好嗎?

00:13:44.101 --> 00:13:45.780
我脖子以下沒有知覺了

00:13:45.893 --> 00:13:46.415
喔天啊

00:13:46.913 --> 00:13:49.615
不等等　我現在有感覺了　噢好痛...

00:13:49.695 --> 00:13:53.109
老天!　我真的很抱歉　這完全...

00:13:53.210 --> 00:13:56.886
真是有趣極了!

00:13:56.977 --> 00:13:57.736
妳不生氣?

00:13:57.826 --> 00:14:00.564
我氣炸了! 天啊
你按了情報箱的警報並...

00:14:00.610 --> 00:14:03.172
莫名其妙地要辦個舞會
但是後來有這個怪物然後...

00:14:03.229 --> 00:14:04.790
我們對牠開槍　然後作了顆炸彈
然後我想我的腿是斷了

00:14:04.790 --> 00:14:05.447
我們可以再來一次嗎?

00:14:05.493 --> 00:14:06.378
喔　好啊

00:14:06.854 --> 00:14:09.291
等等　我們不能　我快死了

00:14:09.588 --> 00:14:10.393
啊? 什麼?

00:14:10.472 --> 00:14:14.135
好消息! 我們不會死!
我們將長生不老!

00:14:14.910 --> 00:14:18.742
我並沒有那麼說!
我只說我們沒有長腫瘤

00:14:19.088 --> 00:14:20.051
喔　謝天謝地

00:14:21.787 --> 00:14:24.463
那好啊　寶琳小姐　就這麼約定了

00:14:24.633 --> 00:14:27.169
不過這是我今年唯一一次的休假

00:14:27.204 --> 00:14:27.567
喔

00:14:27.657 --> 00:14:29.785
不過我有些案子
你應該可以跟著一塊兒來

00:14:31.210 --> 00:14:35.138
寶琳: 明天我要打磨掉一堆屍體的指紋

00:14:35.207 --> 00:14:35.955
偵察兵: 呃　不了

00:14:36.024 --> 00:14:38.155
寶琳: 我有一箱頭顱的牙齒需要拔掉　或許你能幫忙

00:14:38.265 --> 00:14:38.787
偵察兵: 那也不用了

00:14:39.285 --> 00:14:43.764
還是禮拜五我得去作掉一個
亂按情報箱警報的傢伙　然後... 哦

00:14:44.932 --> 00:14:46.135
你是當事人　本來就該在場