WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:01.200 --> 00:00:07.080 Ladies and Gentlemen, Introducing LilDeuceDeuce 00:00:07.080 --> 00:00:07.860 Here we go! 00:00:07.860 --> 00:00:09.440 Better step back, I'm the king of the ring 00:00:09.440 --> 00:00:11.100 Because I fuck more hos than Charlie Sheen 00:00:11.100 --> 00:00:13.200 And I snort more blow than Charlie Sheen 00:00:13.200 --> 00:00:15.220 Till my nose all bloody like Charlie Sheen 00:00:15.220 --> 00:00:16.780 My real name's Carlos Estevez 00:00:16.780 --> 00:00:18.820 And my brother is Emilio Estevez 00:00:18.820 --> 00:00:20.600 He played the coach of the Mighty Ducks 00:00:20.600 --> 00:00:22.520 He was a hard ass lawyer, didn't give a fuck 00:00:22.520 --> 00:00:24.100 But the five-O caught him driving drunk 00:00:24.100 --> 00:00:25.940 And made him coach a team who really stunk 00:00:25.940 --> 00:00:27.920 It was a part of his community service 00:00:27.920 --> 00:00:29.800 But all this hockey shit made him nervous 00:00:29.800 --> 00:00:31.720 Coach Bombay played as a kid 00:00:31.720 --> 00:00:33.500 But he missed the shot and lost the championship 00:00:33.500 --> 00:00:35.280 Now years later, he's the coach of the Ducks 00:00:35.280 --> 00:00:37.560 And he's got a bunch of kids who fuckin' suck 00:00:37.560 --> 00:00:40.900 Except for Charlie Conway, he was pretty deece 00:00:40.900 --> 00:00:44.460 He grew up to play Pacey on that show Dawson's Creek 00:00:44.460 --> 00:00:46.520 I don't wanna wait for our lives to be over 00:00:46.530 --> 00:00:48.470 I want to know right now, what will it be 00:00:48.470 --> 00:00:50.120 I don't wanna wait for our lives to be over 00:00:50.120 --> 00:00:52.080 Will it be yes or it will be sorry? 00:00:52.080 --> 00:00:53.920 Pacey helped Coach defeat the demons 00:00:53.920 --> 00:00:55.840 They won the game, they couldn't believe it 00:00:55.840 --> 00:00:57.520 Muthafuckin ducks in a flying V 00:00:57.520 --> 00:00:59.480 Celebrating flawless victory 00:00:59.480 --> 00:01:01.180 You know the Ducks always got my back 00:01:01.180 --> 00:01:03.200 So you better watch out for the quack attack 00:01:03.200 --> 00:01:06.860 Quack, quack, quack, quack! 00:01:06.860 --> 00:01:08.740 Everyday people say to Emilio 00:01:08.740 --> 00:01:10.540 What's up Coach, what's the dealio? 00:01:10.540 --> 00:01:12.060 The real deal is don't fuck with da Creek 00:01:12.060 --> 00:01:14.100 Cuz Pacey fuck you up wit a triple deke 00:01:14.100 --> 00:01:16.080 Everyday people say to Emilio 00:01:16.080 --> 00:01:17.860 What's up Coach, what's the dealio? 00:01:17.860 --> 00:01:19.340 The real deal is don't fuck with da Ducks 00:01:19.340 --> 00:01:21.780 Cuz we will fuck you up wit da knuckle puck 00:01:21.780 --> 00:01:23.120 Fuck this shit, it's time to move on 00:01:23.120 --> 00:01:25.340 To the Glorious Gloria Estefan 00:01:25.340 --> 00:01:26.780 Reppin Charlie S. so loud and proud 00:01:26.780 --> 00:01:29.120 Cuz she puts Mo Sheen in the Miami Sound Machine 00:01:29.120 --> 00:01:30.800 Come on , shake your body baby, do the conga 00:01:30.800 --> 00:01:32.860 I know you can't control yourself any longer 00:01:32.860 --> 00:01:34.760 Come on , shake your body baby, do the conga 00:01:34.760 --> 00:01:36.300 I know you can't control yourself any longer 00:01:36.310 --> 00:01:38.310 She married a man named Emilio 00:01:38.310 --> 00:01:40.040 True story, you can Wikipedia it bro 00:01:40.040 --> 00:01:41.740 She married Emilio Estefan 00:01:41.740 --> 00:01:43.660 Kinda sounds like Emilio Estevez 00:01:43.660 --> 00:01:45.440 D2, we're back again 00:01:45.440 --> 00:01:47.140 With a little bit of help from a few of my friends 00:01:47.140 --> 00:01:49.180 Russ Tyler's got a shot that's fucked 00:01:49.180 --> 00:01:51.140 A little trick shot called the knuckle puck 00:01:51.140 --> 00:01:52.780 You might see Russ and say what the hell? 00:01:52.780 --> 00:01:54.800 Is that the token black guy from SNL? 00:01:54.800 --> 00:01:56.640 Garret Morris? No! 00:01:56.640 --> 00:01:58.640 Finesse Mitchell? Who da fuck? 00:01:58.640 --> 00:02:00.320 Chris Rock? You must jokin 00:02:00.320 --> 00:02:02.020 Dude was funny, he was hardly token 00:02:02.020 --> 00:02:03.960 Kenan Thompson, that's the guy 00:02:03.960 --> 00:02:05.920 Now raise your hands to the sky and sing 00:02:05.920 --> 00:02:07.640 Everyday people say to Emilio 00:02:07.640 --> 00:02:09.600 Now put your hands down and shut the fuck up! 00:02:09.600 --> 00:02:11.020 What's up coach what's the dealio? 00:02:11.020 --> 00:02:12.341 I said shut the fuck up! 00:02:12.341 --> 00:02:16.100 D3: I gotta admit I don't think I bothered to watch that shit 00:02:16.100 --> 00:02:17.820 All the kids looked old as fuck 00:02:17.820 --> 00:02:19.800 Like they shouldn't give a shit about the Mighty Ducks 00:02:19.800 --> 00:02:23.220 I think I sold rocks to Joshua Jackson 00:02:23.230 --> 00:02:27.100 So if you saw D3 you should ask for your money back, son 00:02:27.100 --> 00:02:28.840 If you wanna stay mighty then you got to go back 00:02:28.840 --> 00:02:30.860 To the first two movies for the quack attack 00:02:30.860 --> 00:02:36.680 Quack, quack, quack, quack quaaack! 00:02:37.760 --> 00:02:39.280 That's how we do! 00:02:39.280 --> 00:02:41.740 Don't fuck with the creek! 00:02:41.740 --> 00:02:45.860 Where my Katie Holmies at motherfucker? 00:02:49.140 --> 00:02:50.860 Everyday people say to Emilio 00:02:50.860 --> 00:02:52.940 What's up Coach, what's the dealio? 00:02:52.950 --> 00:02:54.450 The real deal is don't fuck with da Creek 00:02:54.450 --> 00:02:56.540 Cuz Pacey fuck you up wit a triple deke 00:02:56.540 --> 00:02:58.400 Everyday people say to Emilio 00:02:58.400 --> 00:03:00.180 What's up Coach, what's the dealio? 00:03:00.180 --> 00:03:01.720 The real deal is don't fuck with da Ducks 00:03:01.720 --> 00:03:04.180 Cuz we will fuck you up wit da knuckle puck 00:03:04.180 --> 00:03:09.580 Mighty Ducks, motherfucker!