WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

00:00:04.009 --> 00:00:04.259
  

00:00:04.040 --> 00:00:04.290
 

00:00:04.060 --> 00:00:04.310
 

00:00:04.080 --> 00:00:04.330
 

00:00:04.089 --> 00:00:05.390
When I was a kid,

00:00:05.390 --> 00:00:08.580
I used to think that pork chops and karate chops

00:00:08.580 --> 00:00:09.459
were the same thing.

00:00:09.459 --> 00:00:11.969
I thought they were both pork chops.

00:00:11.969 --> 00:00:14.430
And because my grandmother thought it was cute

00:00:14.430 --> 00:00:15.170
 

00:00:15.170 --> 00:00:16.939
and because they were my favourite

00:00:16.939 --> 00:00:19.399
she let me keep doing it.

00:00:19.400 --> 00:00:21.490
Not really a big deal.

00:00:21.490 --> 00:00:22.110
One day,

00:00:22.110 --> 00:00:25.180
before I realized fat kids are not 
designed to climb trees

00:00:25.180 --> 00:00:26.720
I fell out of a tree

00:00:26.720 --> 00:00:29.130
and bruised the right side of my body

00:00:29.130 --> 00:00:31.640
I didn't want to tell my grandmother about it

00:00:31.640 --> 00:00:33.070
because I was scared I'd get in trouble

00:00:33.070 --> 00:00:34.609
for playing somewhere that I shouldn't have been.

00:00:34.609 --> 00:00:37.149
A few days later the gym teacher noticed the bruise

00:00:37.530 --> 00:00:39.780
and I got sent to the principal's office.

00:00:39.780 --> 00:00:41.979
From there I was sent to another small room

00:00:41.979 --> 00:00:43.589
with a really nice lady

00:00:43.589 --> 00:00:45.510
who asked me all kinds of questions

00:00:45.510 --> 00:00:47.129
about my life at home.

00:00:47.129 --> 00:00:49.229
I saw no reason to lie.

00:00:49.229 --> 00:00:50.609
As far as I was concerned

00:00:50.609 --> 00:00:51.839
life was pretty good

00:00:51.839 --> 00:00:53.519
I told her, "Whenever I'm sad

00:00:53.519 --> 00:00:56.000
my grandmother gives me karate chops."

00:00:56.001 --> 00:00:58.788
This led to a full scale investigation

00:00:58.789 --> 00:01:01.559
and I was removed from the house for three days...

00:01:02.629 --> 00:01:06.430
until they finally decided to ask 
how I got the bruises.

00:01:06.430 --> 00:01:09.870
News of this silly little story quickly spread
through the school

00:01:09.870 --> 00:01:12.180
and I earned my first nickname:

00:01:12.180 --> 00:01:14.200
Pork Chop.

00:01:14.201 --> 00:01:15.600
To this day...

00:01:15.601 --> 00:01:18.550
I hate pork chops.

00:01:19.550 --> 00:01:21.040
I'm not the only kid

00:01:21.040 --> 00:01:23.000
who grew up this way.

00:01:23.300 --> 00:01:25.320
Surrounded by people who used to say

00:01:25.320 --> 00:01:29.670
that rhyme... about sticks and stones

00:01:29.670 --> 00:01:31.510
As if broken bones

00:01:31.510 --> 00:01:33.160
hurt more than the names we got called,

00:01:33.160 --> 00:01:35.350
and we got called them all.

00:01:35.350 --> 00:01:37.560
So we grew up believing no one

00:01:37.560 --> 00:01:40.200
would ever fall in love with us.

00:01:40.200 --> 00:01:42.960
That we'd be lonely forever.

00:01:42.960 --> 00:01:45.190
That we'd never meet someone

00:01:45.190 --> 00:01:46.010
to make us feel like the sun

00:01:46.010 --> 00:01:48.030
was something they built for us

00:01:48.030 --> 00:01:49.610
in their tool shed.

00:01:49.610 --> 00:01:52.020
So broken heart strings bled the blues

00:01:52.020 --> 00:01:53.420
as we tried to empty ourselves

00:01:53.420 --> 00:01:55.190
so we would feel nothing.

00:01:55.190 --> 00:02:00.140
Don't tell me that hurts less than a broken bone.

00:02:00.140 --> 00:02:01.360
That an ingrown life

00:02:01.360 --> 00:02:02.920
is something surgeons can cut away

00:02:02.920 --> 00:02:06.100
That there's no way for it to metastasize

00:02:06.100 --> 00:02:06.949
It does.

00:02:06.950 --> 00:02:08.840
She was eight years old...

00:02:08.840 --> 00:02:11.280
Our first day of grade three

00:02:11.280 --> 00:02:12.780
when she got called "ugly."

00:02:12.780 --> 00:02:15.849
We both got moved to the back of the class

00:02:15.849 --> 00:02:17.959
so we would stop getting bombarded by spit balls

00:02:18.879 --> 00:02:21.519
But the school halls were a battleground

00:02:21.519 --> 00:02:24.249
where we found ourselves outnumbered
day after wretched day.

00:02:24.249 --> 00:02:25.900
We used to stay inside for recess

00:02:25.900 --> 00:02:27.219
because outside was worse.

00:02:28.219 --> 00:02:30.379
Outside we'd have to rehearse running away

00:02:30.379 --> 00:02:31.079
 

00:02:31.079 --> 00:02:34.159
or learn to stay still like statues giving
no clues that we were there.

00:02:34.159 --> 00:02:37.779
In grade five they taped a sign to her desk

00:02:38.239 --> 00:02:40.399
that read "Beware of Dog."

00:02:40.400 --> 00:02:41.829
To this day,

00:02:41.829 --> 00:02:44.749
despite a loving husband,

00:02:44.749 --> 00:02:46.519
She doesn't think she's beautiful

00:02:46.519 --> 00:02:48.680
because of a birthmark

00:02:48.680 --> 00:02:50.209
that takes up a little less than half of her face.

00:02:51.829 --> 00:02:53.930
Kids used to say she looks like a wrong answer

00:02:53.930 --> 00:02:55.340
that someone tried to erase

00:02:55.340 --> 00:02:56.579
but couldn't quite get the job done.

00:02:56.579 --> 00:02:59.319
And they'll never understand

00:02:59.319 --> 00:03:00.879
that she's raising two kids

00:03:00.879 --> 00:03:02.650
whose definition of beauty

00:03:02.650 --> 00:03:04.590
begins with the word "Mom."

00:03:04.590 --> 00:03:06.019
Because they see her heart

00:03:06.019 --> 00:03:07.450
before they see her skin.

00:03:07.450 --> 00:03:09.669
That she's only ever always been amazing.

00:03:11.290 --> 00:03:13.040
He was a broken branch

00:03:13.040 --> 00:03:15.340
grafted onto a different family tree.

00:03:15.340 --> 00:03:16.810
Adopted

00:03:16.810 --> 00:03:19.969
but not because his parents opted
for a different destiny.

00:03:19.969 --> 00:03:23.049
He was three when he became a mixed drink

00:03:23.049 --> 00:03:24.169
of one part left alone

00:03:24.169 --> 00:03:25.400
and two parts tragedy.

00:03:25.400 --> 00:03:28.150
Started therapy in 8th grade.

00:03:28.150 --> 00:03:30.779
Had a personality made up of tests and pills.

00:03:31.469 --> 00:03:33.659
Lived like the uphills were mountains

00:03:33.659 --> 00:03:35.120
and the downhills were cliffs.

00:03:35.120 --> 00:03:36.239
Four fifths suicidal,

00:03:36.239 --> 00:03:38.349
a tidal wave of anti-depressants,

00:03:38.349 --> 00:03:41.099
and an adolescence of being called "Popper."

00:03:41.099 --> 00:03:43.620
One part because of the pills

00:03:43.620 --> 00:03:46.669
and ninety nine parts because of the cruelty.

00:03:46.669 --> 00:03:48.859
He tried to kill himself in grade ten

00:03:48.859 --> 00:03:52.019
when a kid who could still go home to mom and dad

00:03:52.019 --> 00:03:54.500
had the audacity to tell him "get over it." 

00:03:54.501 --> 00:03:57.799
As if depression is something 
that can be remedied

00:03:57.799 --> 00:04:00.169
by any of the contents found in a first aid kit.

00:04:00.169 --> 00:04:01.549
To this day,

00:04:01.549 --> 00:04:04.059
he is a stick of TNT lit from both ends,

00:04:04.059 --> 00:04:06.219
could describe to you in detail the way

00:04:06.219 --> 00:04:07.249
the sky bends

00:04:07.249 --> 00:04:08.749
in the moments before it's about to fall

00:04:08.749 --> 00:04:11.249
and despite an army of friends

00:04:11.249 --> 00:04:12.879
who all call him an inspiration,

00:04:12.879 --> 00:04:15.120
he remains a conversation piece between people

00:04:15.659 --> 00:04:16.739
who can't understand

00:04:16.739 --> 00:04:18.940
sometimes becoming drug free

00:04:18.940 --> 00:04:21.070
has less to do with addiction

00:04:21.070 --> 00:04:24.000
and more to do with sanity.

00:04:24.001 --> 00:04:26.460
We weren't the only kids who grew up this way.

00:04:27.990 --> 00:04:29.440
To this day

00:04:29.440 --> 00:04:31.330
kids are still being called names.

00:04:31.330 --> 00:04:33.280
The classics were

00:04:33.280 --> 00:04:34.900
"Hey stupid"

00:04:34.900 --> 00:04:36.530
"Hey spaz"

00:04:36.530 --> 00:04:39.440
Seems like each school has an arsenal of names

00:04:39.440 --> 00:04:40.900
getting updated every year

00:04:40.900 --> 00:04:42.950
and if a kid breaks in a school

00:04:42.950 --> 00:04:45.130
and no one around chooses to hear

00:04:45.130 --> 00:04:46.230
do they make a sound?

00:04:46.230 --> 00:04:48.380
Are they just the background noise

00:04:48.380 --> 00:04:49.880
of a soundtrack stuck on repeat

00:04:49.900 --> 00:04:51.000
when people say things like

00:04:51.100 --> 00:04:52.500
"kids can be cruel"?

00:04:52.600 --> 00:04:55.130
Every school was a big top circus tent

00:04:55.330 --> 00:04:57.000
and the pecking order went

00:04:57.000 --> 00:04:58.700
from acrobats to lion tamers,

00:04:58.800 --> 00:04:59.660
from clowns to carnies.

00:04:59.660 --> 00:05:02.000
All of these were miles ahead of who we were.

00:05:02.000 --> 00:05:03.800
We were freaks.

00:05:03.800 --> 00:05:06.060
Lobster claw boys and bearded ladies

00:05:06.060 --> 00:05:07.150
Oddities

00:05:07.150 --> 00:05:10.400
Juggling depression and loneliness, 
playing Solitaire, spin the bottle,

00:05:10.400 --> 00:05:11.850
Trying to kiss the wounded parts of ourselves

00:05:11.860 --> 00:05:12.870
and heal.

00:05:13.300 --> 00:05:14.200
But at night,

00:05:14.201 --> 00:05:15.470
while the others slept

00:05:15.471 --> 00:05:17.600
We kept walking the tightrope.

00:05:17.610 --> 00:05:18.360
It was practice

00:05:18.361 --> 00:05:19.680
and yeah, some of us fell.

00:05:19.685 --> 00:05:21.550
But I want to tell them

00:05:21.551 --> 00:05:22.870
that all of this

00:05:22.871 --> 00:05:24.510
is just debris,

00:05:25.000 --> 00:05:27.810
leftover when we finally decide to smash

00:05:27.811 --> 00:05:29.240
all the things we thought we used to be.

00:05:13.868 --> 00:05:13.869
 

00:05:29.870 --> 00:05:32.300
And if you can't see anything beautiful about yourself,

00:05:32.400 --> 00:05:33.770
get a better mirror.

00:05:33.775 --> 00:05:35.870
Look a little closer.

00:05:35.970 --> 00:05:37.670
Stare a little longer.

00:05:37.680 --> 00:05:39.150
Because there's something inside you

00:05:39.150 --> 00:05:40.330
that made you keep trying

00:05:40.330 --> 00:05:41.810
despite everyone who told you to quit.

00:05:41.810 --> 00:05:44.210
You built a cast around your broken heart

00:05:44.210 --> 00:05:46.000
and signed it yourself.

00:05:46.001 --> 00:05:47.500
You signed it, "they were wrong."

00:05:47.550 --> 00:05:48.400
Because maybe you didn't belong to

00:05:48.401 --> 00:05:49.810
a group or clique.

00:05:50.360 --> 00:05:53.190
Maybe they decided to pick you last
for basketball or everything.

00:05:53.190 --> 00:05:55.569
Maybe you used to bring bruises and broken teeth

00:05:55.572 --> 00:05:57.520
to show and tell but never told

00:05:57.520 --> 00:05:58.940
because how can you hold your ground

00:05:58.940 --> 00:06:01.879
if everyone around you wants to bury you beneath it?

00:06:01.880 --> 00:06:03.800
You have to believe that they were wrong

00:06:05.400 --> 00:06:10.400
They have to be wrong.
Why else would we still be here?

00:06:11.400 --> 00:06:14.050
We grew up learning to cheer on the underdog

00:06:14.050 --> 00:06:17.000
because we see ourselves in them.

00:06:17.001 --> 00:06:20.260
We stem from a root planted in the belief

00:06:20.260 --> 00:06:23.200
That we are not what we were called

00:06:23.200 --> 00:06:26.310
We are not abandoned cars stalled out and sitting
empty on a highway.

00:06:26.310 --> 00:06:28.550
And if in some way we are,

00:06:28.550 --> 00:06:29.320
don't worry.

00:06:29.320 --> 00:06:31.740
We only got out to walk and get gas.

00:06:31.740 --> 00:06:34.450
We are graduating members from the class of

00:06:34.690 --> 00:06:36.400
"we made it."

00:06:37.000 --> 00:06:40.430
Not the faded echoes of voices crying out

00:06:40.430 --> 00:06:43.680
"names will never hurt me."

00:06:43.680 --> 00:06:45.430
Of course,

00:06:45.430 --> 00:06:49.330
they did.
But our lives will only ever always

00:06:49.330 --> 00:06:50.900
continue to be a balancing act

00:06:51.701 --> 00:06:53.240
that has less to do with pain...

00:06:55.040 --> 00:06:57.450
and more to do with beauty.