[Twilight]: Here we are
[Cadence]: Seegaaaa!
Seegaaaaa!
[Cadence]: Sonic team! [Luna]: Boo!
[Twilight]: Yeah! [Luna]: I'm booing this entire thing.
[Cadence]: Inconsistent team [Twilight]: no...
Boo!
[Cadence]: Ooooohh, yeah!
[Twilight]: The sickest video!
I can't believe we're doing this...
Do you remember this song?
This was the video that I had to watch every time
I popped the game in
[Cadence]: Oh God...
I got so hyped back in the day
[Cadence]: I wanted to believe! [Luna]: Every time you went to bed.
♪ Crush 40 - I Am... All of Me ♪
♪ I see no, hear no evil ♪
♪ Black writing on the walls! ♪
Oh god...
♪ Unleash a million faces ♪
what you doing?
♪ and one by one they fall ♪
Aah-
♪ Black-hearted evil ♪
♪ Brave-hearted hero ♪
♪ I ♪
♪ yeah! ♪
♪ I am ♪
♪ Go ahead and try to see through me ♪
♪ do it if you can ♪
♪ one step forward two steps back ♪
♪ AH! ♪
♪ one step forward two steps back ♪
♪ do it ♪
♪ DO IT ♪
[Cadence]: Press start!
[Twilight]: yea [Cadence]: Yeah!
[Cadence]: Gunshots! [Twilight]: That gunshot!
Yo! That gunshot menu, son!
[Twilight]: Was it seven or 12 endings?
[Cadence]: 12 endings...
[Cadence]: I believe there were 12 [Luna]: Whyyyy?
How could there be that much story?
Because there's variations between neutral, evil, and good!
Like chaotic?
[Cadence]: You choose your path!
Sorry, not chaotic...
Chaotixxxxxx
[Cadence]: Chaotix! [Twilight]: Chaotix! Exactly.
[Luna]: Did you see that trailer where it showed all the shitty friends walking behind Sonic?
yeah!
They showed the fucking gator?
Vector the Crocodile?
[Luna]: Yeah, he’s actually pretty cool… [Twilight]: He’s sick!
[Cadence]: So, all of his memories are in the text in the back there
[Twilight]: I believe so, yeah
[Cadence]: Shadow, please make everyone happy
[Twilight]: Do you know what you are born for?
You can escape from your…
[Cadence]: You are with Sonic
[Luna]: I can’t read that [Twilight]: I can’t read it...
[Cadence]: Yeah, I can’t [Twilight]: I can’t read it!
[Cadence]: But it's his past [Twilight]: Let’s go!
it's Maria!
[Luna]: Oh god! Fuck this game already!
[Twilight]: No! It's important for reasons.
[Luna]: When you put sonic in the real world
you automatically become shit...
[Black Doom]: Find the Seven Chaos Emeralds...
FIND THE BU-BULLSHIT!
Oh! A new original plot, I love it!
[Luna]: This is the most stock villain voice ever
[Luna]: it’s Doctor Claw [Cadence]: And he doesn’t do anything besides
follow Shadow around and talk to him!
[Luna]: Well, he’s got all this religious imagery all over him
[Luna]: like it’s crazy [Cadence]: that’s just bling, man!
[Twilight]: ...also, he reminds me of Lilith from Eva
[Lilith]: Do not fail me!
Shadow...
peep this ice around my neck.
Hahahaha
[Twilight]: Look at this, like, 2005 FMV that looks fantastic!
It’s impressive, It’s impressive.
Yea, but there’s FMVs from Final Fantasy 10 that looked better.
Blitzball!
[Luna]: and that was like 2001! [Twilight]: sure, sure
Ah... every dot is an ending.
[Twilight]: yeah! [Luna]: Jesus! Fuck!
Hahahahahaha
[Cadence]: Here we go!
[Cadence]: Here we go, buddy, here we go! [Luna]: I don't even know...
WHAT TYPE OF GAME IS THIS!? I STILL DON’T KNOW!
This is a text adventure.
It’s Shadow the Hedgehog
[Cadence]: you can do whatever! [Twilight]: Unprecedented levels of freedom!
[Luna]: Ok, so Shadow doesn’t actually-
[Twilight]: Gun, I need a GUN!
[Twilight]: I’m weak without a gun! [Cadence]: Hurry up! [Luna]: Oh my god!
[Twilight]: Hey Shadow, thumbs up! [Luna]: What the fuck?
[Sonic]: Yeah, smash them up!
Hey not bad
Alright!
I don’t even get it, I though they were rivals.
[Luna]: cuz I'm so confused by the way, everything is setup
its like, do you kill everything, or you just go?
[Cadence]: Well, that's the deal [Twilight]: you can do whatever
you, you can choose!
So, if you kill all the humans...
then you are now on the evil side
and you can change that at any time.
[Shadow]: Finally, I got all the chaos emeralds!
Shadow...
What are you going to do with them?
With the power of these emeralds
I am going to destroy this damn planet!
This is who I am!
heheheh...
mwuhahahahahaha!!!
huh, but if you- if you don't do a good or bad ending
you get the neutral one.
Finally, I got all the Chaos Emeralds!
Hey, not bad!
Wow! You're pretty tough!
Nice job, Shadow!
Self Destruct Sequence Activated
Damn it!
This is seriously bad, Shadow!
We have to get out of here!
Alright! You ready to do this? Come On!
Very well, let's do this!
Chaos Control!
Oh shit!
uhm...
fuck!
[Luna]: It's probably the most unsatisfying ending... [Cadence]: It is.
[Twilight]: Exactly, so you have to spend time-
Oh, yeah!
[Cadence]: Chaos Control!
Chaos...
Control!!!!
[Luna]: Did you beat the game? [Cadence]: Just blast through the game.
[Twilight]: I beat the level! [luna]: Yeah! You beat the game!
[Twilight]: Yeah! [Cadence]: You did it!
*Singing the Level Complete Jingle*
[Luna]: That doesn't make any sense...
So this is the... huh...
The good side faction, the Army.
[Cadence]: Yes
[Luna]: Yeah, they stand for the "G", the "Good Side". [TV]: "The black aliens have hit six major cities around the world"
[Twilight]: The BLACK ALIENS!
HA!
[Cadence]: Well...
[Iizuka]: Bringing their guns to the planet!
You know what? N-not enough black people like Sonic!
Right, and Shadow the Black Hedgehog
with his pistol grip pump on his lap at all times...
He really needs a big golden chain with a Shadow logo
Shooting right for the Urban Youth!
So the first piece of promotional art for this game
was Shadow holding a fucking Glock
[Luna]: And then everyone lost their shit
[Cadence]: they lost their minds, yeah, absolutely!
And then you saw him driving in a Cadillac and you're like:
"He's in a fucking low rider now? What!?"
Lie cheat and steal
That's the Shadow way.
That is the Shadow way!
haha!
Shadow, use your double jumps to go hit all the player haters!
Gain Respect Points Shadow!
[Luna]: Ha, yeah, Respect Points!
Fuck Green Hill Zone!
...aaaaaaa
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Tiny was supposed to drop a package for us in,
in Casino Zone!
He's trying to make off with the dough!
[Cadence]: If there had to be a "Hustlers Zone", on Mobius
[Twilight]: It be casino night zone. [Cadence]: It would be fucking Casino Zone!
And, and Shadow is like: “I am, who I am and who I say I am.”
[Cadence]: hahahaha!
Whatever this means - I mean it.
I AM WHO I SAY I AM!
♪ N.W.A. - Fuck Tha Police ♪
Never let a po get away with murder!
Gunshots! Gunshots!
MUUUURDAAAAAA!
This just in
Shadow is shit!
hey, Shadow!
I gotta ask you something
[Cadence]: And now you get some of these chuckle fucks coming to talk to you
[Luna]: yeah, seriously...
[Cadence]: And you really wanna be on the evil side! [Twilight]: Charmie is-
Charmie is great tho.
[Twilight]: he...
[Luna]: is he?
[Twilight]: He symbolizes the sonic fanbase
Shadow! You’re so cool!
AAAAAAAAAAAAA
UH
Charmie!
Waaaaa!
*evil laughter*
[???]: Weaklings like him are of no consequence.
The strong will always vanquish the weak
you have only your own frailty to blame.
Oh man, we’re done for! I just know it!
[Shadow]: hmph
Are you ready to admit your own foolishness?
[Infinite]: Come now, Shadow
I've only become what I am because of you!
Very well...
Let's do this!
Are you doing a thing?
[Twilight]: I-I am! [Luna]: Are you just fooling around?
Look at this aerial rave!
[Luna]: It just looks like you’re bouncing off each other like a bunch of assholes
[Twilight]: look at this shit! Can you hear me sweating?
[Luna]: No?
[Cadence]: It’s so sick! It’s loud!
[Luna]: You not even damaging them!
Aerial Rave is the right word, though.
This is what Blast Processing has brought us!
high times.
[Twilight]: Look at that!
[Luna]: You fucking Processing...
stop being so
BLAST!
OOOOOOHHH
OOHH HOHOHO
AHAHAHAHA
The good old Game Cube crash!
Well...
Ah...
So that's the look at Shadow I guess...
That's the look at shadow!
I am all
that I am all
I AM!!!!
I'm glad I'm not here
So we can talk about all the...
creepy sonic fan art I have on my hard drive.
Right click, Save as...
Creepy fan art of Rouge getting it from all angles I bet
Creepy religious fan art
like literally both ends of the spectrum
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
From the most like, adult to the most innocent.
Just Rouge doing all these religious leaders!
Haha, oh Jesus!
What!?
What is even happening!?