WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:07.020 --> 00:00:08.020 [Twilight]: Here we are 00:00:08.120 --> 00:00:09.140 [Cadence]: Seegaaaa! 00:00:09.140 --> 00:00:10.420 Seegaaaaa! 00:00:10.520 --> 00:00:11.880 [Cadence]: Sonic team! [Luna]: Boo! 00:00:11.960 --> 00:00:13.540 [Twilight]: Yeah! [Luna]: I'm booing this entire thing. 00:00:13.540 --> 00:00:14.720 [Cadence]: Inconsistent team [Twilight]: no... 00:00:14.720 --> 00:00:15.920 Boo! 00:00:16.160 --> 00:00:17.480 [Cadence]: Ooooohh, yeah! 00:00:17.480 --> 00:00:18.720 [Twilight]: The sickest video! 00:00:18.900 --> 00:00:20.540 I can't believe we're doing this... 00:00:20.540 --> 00:00:21.640 Do you remember this song? 00:00:21.640 --> 00:00:24.260 This was the video that I had to watch every time 00:00:24.260 --> 00:00:25.440 I popped the game in 00:00:25.440 --> 00:00:26.180 [Cadence]: Oh God... 00:00:26.180 --> 00:00:27.620 I got so hyped back in the day 00:00:27.620 --> 00:00:29.080 [Cadence]: I wanted to believe! [Luna]: Every time you went to bed. 00:00:29.780 --> 00:00:32.060 ♪ Crush 40 - I Am... All of Me ♪ 00:00:38.000 --> 00:00:40.460 ♪ I see no, hear no evil ♪ 00:00:40.740 --> 00:00:42.580 ♪ Black writing on the walls! ♪ 00:00:42.580 --> 00:00:43.080 Oh god... 00:00:43.080 --> 00:00:45.120 ♪ Unleash a million faces ♪ 00:00:45.120 --> 00:00:45.660 what you doing? 00:00:45.660 --> 00:00:47.620 ♪ and one by one they fall ♪ 00:00:47.620 --> 00:00:48.120 Aah- 00:00:48.120 --> 00:00:50.060 ♪ Black-hearted evil ♪ 00:00:50.440 --> 00:00:52.560 ♪ Brave-hearted hero ♪ 00:00:52.860 --> 00:00:53.900 ♪ I ♪ 00:00:54.080 --> 00:00:54.900 ♪ yeah! ♪ 00:00:55.340 --> 00:00:56.860 ♪ I am ♪ 00:00:57.160 --> 00:00:59.420 ♪ Go ahead and try to see through me ♪ 00:00:59.520 --> 00:01:01.280 ♪ do it if you can ♪ 00:01:01.820 --> 00:01:03.820 ♪ one step forward two steps back ♪ 00:01:03.820 --> 00:01:04.680 ♪ AH! ♪ 00:01:04.680 --> 00:01:06.800 ♪ one step forward two steps back ♪ 00:01:07.160 --> 00:01:07.660 ♪ do it ♪ 00:01:07.800 --> 00:01:08.300 ♪ do it ♪ 00:01:08.400 --> 00:01:08.900 ♪ do it ♪ 00:01:08.940 --> 00:01:09.640 ♪ DO IT ♪ 00:01:09.640 --> 00:01:10.400 [Cadence]: Press start! 00:01:10.400 --> 00:01:11.520 [Twilight]: yea [Cadence]: Yeah! 00:01:11.520 --> 00:01:12.620 [Cadence]: Gunshots! [Twilight]: That gunshot! 00:01:12.660 --> 00:01:14.600 Yo! That gunshot menu, son! 00:01:14.600 --> 00:01:15.880 [Twilight]: Was it seven or 12 endings? 00:01:15.880 --> 00:01:16.960 [Cadence]: 12 endings... 00:01:16.960 --> 00:01:18.560 [Cadence]: I believe there were 12 [Luna]: Whyyyy? 00:01:18.560 --> 00:01:20.300 How could there be that much story? 00:01:20.300 --> 00:01:23.360 Because there's variations between neutral, evil, and good! 00:01:23.460 --> 00:01:24.500 Like chaotic? 00:01:24.500 --> 00:01:25.680 [Cadence]: You choose your path! 00:01:26.080 --> 00:01:27.160 Sorry, not chaotic... 00:01:27.160 --> 00:01:28.320 Chaotixxxxxx 00:01:28.320 --> 00:01:29.920 [Cadence]: Chaotix! [Twilight]: Chaotix! Exactly. 00:01:30.080 --> 00:01:33.020 [Luna]: Did you see that trailer where it showed all the shitty friends walking behind Sonic? 00:01:33.020 --> 00:01:33.800 yeah! 00:01:33.800 --> 00:01:35.600 They showed the fucking gator? 00:01:35.720 --> 00:01:37.240 Vector the Crocodile? 00:01:37.300 --> 00:01:38.860 [Luna]: Yeah, he’s actually pretty cool… [Twilight]: He’s sick! 00:01:38.860 --> 00:01:40.780 [Cadence]: So, all of his memories are in the text in the back there 00:01:40.800 --> 00:01:42.080 [Twilight]: I believe so, yeah 00:01:42.080 --> 00:01:43.560 [Cadence]: Shadow, please make everyone happy 00:01:43.560 --> 00:01:45.400 [Twilight]: Do you know what you are born for? 00:01:45.400 --> 00:01:46.740 You can escape from your… 00:01:46.920 --> 00:01:48.300 [Cadence]: You are with Sonic 00:01:48.360 --> 00:01:49.760 [Luna]: I can’t read that [Twilight]: I can’t read it... 00:01:49.760 --> 00:01:50.800 [Cadence]: Yeah, I can’t [Twilight]: I can’t read it! 00:01:50.800 --> 00:01:51.780 [Cadence]: But it's his past [Twilight]: Let’s go! 00:01:51.780 --> 00:01:52.860 it's Maria! 00:01:52.980 --> 00:01:55.080 [Luna]: Oh god! Fuck this game already! 00:01:55.080 --> 00:01:57.100 [Twilight]: No! It's important for reasons. 00:01:57.100 --> 00:01:59.060 [Luna]: When you put sonic in the real world 00:01:59.060 --> 00:02:00.680 you automatically become shit... 00:02:01.320 --> 00:02:03.200 [Black Doom]: Find the Seven Chaos Emeralds... 00:02:03.520 --> 00:02:05.380 FIND THE BU-BULLSHIT! 00:02:05.380 --> 00:02:07.040 Oh! A new original plot, I love it! 00:02:07.040 --> 00:02:09.420 [Luna]: This is the most stock villain voice ever 00:02:09.420 --> 00:02:12.000 [Luna]: it’s Doctor Claw [Cadence]: And he doesn’t do anything besides 00:02:12.100 --> 00:02:14.260 follow Shadow around and talk to him! 00:02:14.340 --> 00:02:16.700 [Luna]: Well, he’s got all this religious imagery all over him 00:02:16.700 --> 00:02:18.380 [Luna]: like it’s crazy [Cadence]: that’s just bling, man! 00:02:18.380 --> 00:02:20.680 [Twilight]: ...also, he reminds me of Lilith from Eva 00:02:20.980 --> 00:02:22.540 [Lilith]: Do not fail me! 00:02:22.540 --> 00:02:24.000 Shadow... 00:02:24.000 --> 00:02:26.000 peep this ice around my neck. 00:02:26.000 --> 00:02:26.960 Hahahaha 00:02:26.980 --> 00:02:29.220 [Twilight]: Look at this, like, 2005 FMV that looks fantastic! 00:02:29.220 --> 00:02:30.720 It’s impressive, It’s impressive. 00:02:30.720 --> 00:02:33.220 Yea, but there’s FMVs from Final Fantasy 10 that looked better. 00:02:34.440 --> 00:02:35.340 Blitzball! 00:02:35.420 --> 00:02:37.280 [Luna]: and that was like 2001! [Twilight]: sure, sure 00:02:37.280 --> 00:02:39.220 Ah... every dot is an ending. 00:02:39.280 --> 00:02:40.400 [Twilight]: yeah! [Luna]: Jesus! Fuck! 00:02:40.400 --> 00:02:41.620 Hahahahahaha 00:02:41.800 --> 00:02:43.020 [Cadence]: Here we go! 00:02:43.020 --> 00:02:44.660 [Cadence]: Here we go, buddy, here we go! [Luna]: I don't even know... 00:02:44.660 --> 00:02:47.260 WHAT TYPE OF GAME IS THIS!? I STILL DON’T KNOW! 00:02:47.420 --> 00:02:48.540 This is a text adventure. 00:02:48.540 --> 00:02:49.620 It’s Shadow the Hedgehog 00:02:49.620 --> 00:02:51.100 [Cadence]: you can do whatever! [Twilight]: Unprecedented levels of freedom! 00:02:51.100 --> 00:02:52.280 [Luna]: Ok, so Shadow doesn’t actually- 00:02:52.280 --> 00:02:53.400 [Twilight]: Gun, I need a GUN! 00:02:53.400 --> 00:02:55.100 [Twilight]: I’m weak without a gun! [Cadence]: Hurry up! [Luna]: Oh my god! 00:02:55.100 --> 00:02:57.100 [Twilight]: Hey Shadow, thumbs up! [Luna]: What the fuck? 00:02:57.100 --> 00:02:59.100 [Sonic]: Yeah, smash them up! 00:02:59.100 --> 00:03:00.140 Hey not bad 00:03:00.140 --> 00:03:01.100 Alright! 00:03:01.100 --> 00:03:03.600 I don’t even get it, I though they were rivals. 00:03:04.000 --> 00:03:06.180 [Luna]: cuz I'm so confused by the way, everything is setup 00:03:06.180 --> 00:03:07.960 its like, do you kill everything, or you just go? 00:03:07.960 --> 00:03:09.200 [Cadence]: Well, that's the deal [Twilight]: you can do whatever 00:03:09.320 --> 00:03:10.860 you, you can choose! 00:03:10.860 --> 00:03:12.480 So, if you kill all the humans... 00:03:12.480 --> 00:03:14.260 then you are now on the evil side 00:03:14.260 --> 00:03:15.860 and you can change that at any time. 00:03:16.220 --> 00:03:18.220 [Shadow]: Finally, I got all the chaos emeralds! 00:03:19.740 --> 00:03:20.560 Shadow... 00:03:21.100 --> 00:03:22.000 What are you going to do with them? 00:03:22.300 --> 00:03:23.480 With the power of these emeralds 00:03:23.480 --> 00:03:25.060 I am going to destroy this damn planet! 00:03:25.500 --> 00:03:26.660 This is who I am! 00:03:26.680 --> 00:03:27.420 heheheh... 00:03:27.500 --> 00:03:28.600 mwuhahahahahaha!!! 00:03:28.980 --> 00:03:31.600 huh, but if you- if you don't do a good or bad ending 00:03:31.700 --> 00:03:32.780 you get the neutral one. 00:03:33.720 --> 00:03:35.820 Finally, I got all the Chaos Emeralds! 00:03:35.820 --> 00:03:36.780 Hey, not bad! 00:03:36.780 --> 00:03:37.980 Wow! You're pretty tough! 00:03:38.400 --> 00:03:39.420 Nice job, Shadow! 00:03:40.360 --> 00:03:42.440 Self Destruct Sequence Activated 00:03:43.640 --> 00:03:44.380 Damn it! 00:03:44.580 --> 00:03:45.680 This is seriously bad, Shadow! 00:03:45.740 --> 00:03:46.780 We have to get out of here! 00:03:47.240 --> 00:03:48.780 Alright! You ready to do this? Come On! 00:03:49.440 --> 00:03:50.800 Very well, let's do this! 00:03:54.460 --> 00:03:56.120 Chaos Control! 00:03:57.620 --> 00:03:58.320 Oh shit! 00:04:03.680 --> 00:04:04.180 uhm... 00:04:05.100 --> 00:04:05.600 fuck! 00:04:06.180 --> 00:04:08.360 [Luna]: It's probably the most unsatisfying ending... [Cadence]: It is. 00:04:08.360 --> 00:04:09.980 [Twilight]: Exactly, so you have to spend time- 00:04:09.980 --> 00:04:10.740 Oh, yeah! 00:04:10.740 --> 00:04:11.460 [Cadence]: Chaos Control! 00:04:11.640 --> 00:04:12.400 Chaos... 00:04:12.540 --> 00:04:13.540 Control!!!! 00:04:31.360 --> 00:04:32.880 [Luna]: Did you beat the game? [Cadence]: Just blast through the game. 00:04:32.880 --> 00:04:34.280 [Twilight]: I beat the level! [luna]: Yeah! You beat the game! 00:04:34.280 --> 00:04:35.340 [Twilight]: Yeah! [Cadence]: You did it! 00:04:35.340 --> 00:04:36.680 *Singing the Level Complete Jingle* 00:04:36.740 --> 00:04:38.300 [Luna]: That doesn't make any sense... 00:04:41.700 --> 00:04:43.140 So this is the... huh... 00:04:43.140 --> 00:04:45.000 The good side faction, the Army. 00:04:45.000 --> 00:04:45.500 [Cadence]: Yes 00:04:45.500 --> 00:04:47.520 [Luna]: Yeah, they stand for the "G", the "Good Side". [TV]: "The black aliens have hit six major cities around the world" 00:04:47.520 --> 00:04:49.000 [Twilight]: The BLACK ALIENS! 00:04:49.440 --> 00:04:50.060 HA! 00:04:50.600 --> 00:04:51.240 [Cadence]: Well... 00:04:51.520 --> 00:04:53.420 [Iizuka]: Bringing their guns to the planet! 00:04:53.420 --> 00:04:56.520 You know what? N-not enough black people like Sonic! 00:04:56.740 --> 00:04:58.420 Right, and Shadow the Black Hedgehog 00:04:58.420 --> 00:05:00.720 with his pistol grip pump on his lap at all times... 00:05:01.160 --> 00:05:04.820 He really needs a big golden chain with a Shadow logo 00:05:04.820 --> 00:05:07.020 Shooting right for the Urban Youth! 00:05:07.820 --> 00:05:10.000 So the first piece of promotional art for this game 00:05:10.000 --> 00:05:12.180 was Shadow holding a fucking Glock 00:05:12.180 --> 00:05:14.040 [Luna]: And then everyone lost their shit 00:05:14.040 --> 00:05:16.160 [Cadence]: they lost their minds, yeah, absolutely! 00:05:16.360 --> 00:05:18.560 And then you saw him driving in a Cadillac and you're like: 00:05:18.840 --> 00:05:21.020 "He's in a fucking low rider now? What!?" 00:05:21.440 --> 00:05:22.320 Lie cheat and steal 00:05:22.460 --> 00:05:23.460 That's the Shadow way. 00:05:23.620 --> 00:05:24.860 That is the Shadow way! 00:05:24.860 --> 00:05:25.560 haha! 00:05:26.000 --> 00:05:30.420 Shadow, use your double jumps to go hit all the player haters! 00:05:30.880 --> 00:05:32.880 Gain Respect Points Shadow! 00:05:33.040 --> 00:05:34.800 [Luna]: Ha, yeah, Respect Points! 00:05:35.520 --> 00:05:37.520 Fuck Green Hill Zone! 00:05:46.240 --> 00:05:46.860 ...aaaaaaa 00:05:47.040 --> 00:05:47.780 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 00:05:47.920 --> 00:05:50.460 Tiny was supposed to drop a package for us in, 00:05:50.660 --> 00:05:52.980 in Casino Zone! 00:05:52.980 --> 00:05:55.180 He's trying to make off with the dough! 00:05:59.500 --> 00:06:01.760 [Cadence]: If there had to be a "Hustlers Zone", on Mobius 00:06:01.760 --> 00:06:03.620 [Twilight]: It be casino night zone. [Cadence]: It would be fucking Casino Zone! 00:06:09.900 --> 00:06:13.540 And, and Shadow is like: “I am, who I am and who I say I am.” 00:06:13.640 --> 00:06:14.540 [Cadence]: hahahaha! 00:06:14.660 --> 00:06:16.660 Whatever this means - I mean it. 00:06:23.500 --> 00:06:25.580 I AM WHO I SAY I AM! 00:06:25.920 --> 00:06:27.920 ♪ N.W.A. - Fuck Tha Police ♪ 00:06:29.200 --> 00:06:31.200 Never let a po get away with murder! 00:06:31.720 --> 00:06:32.880 Gunshots! Gunshots! 00:06:32.880 --> 00:06:34.880 MUUUURDAAAAAA! 00:06:36.380 --> 00:06:37.440 This just in 00:06:37.440 --> 00:06:39.200 Shadow is shit! 00:06:42.660 --> 00:06:44.020 hey, Shadow! 00:06:44.400 --> 00:06:45.760 I gotta ask you something 00:06:46.140 --> 00:06:48.740 [Cadence]: And now you get some of these chuckle fucks coming to talk to you 00:06:48.740 --> 00:06:50.020 [Luna]: yeah, seriously... 00:06:50.020 --> 00:06:52.040 [Cadence]: And you really wanna be on the evil side! [Twilight]: Charmie is- 00:06:52.360 --> 00:06:54.000 Charmie is great tho. 00:06:54.060 --> 00:06:54.640 [Twilight]: he... 00:06:54.640 --> 00:06:55.140 [Luna]: is he? 00:06:55.260 --> 00:06:57.260 [Twilight]: He symbolizes the sonic fanbase 00:06:57.660 --> 00:07:00.020 Shadow! You’re so cool! 00:07:00.320 --> 00:07:02.400 AAAAAAAAAAAAA 00:07:02.760 --> 00:07:03.260 UH 00:07:05.360 --> 00:07:06.080 Charmie! 00:07:06.200 --> 00:07:07.080 Waaaaa! 00:07:07.780 --> 00:07:10.120 *evil laughter* 00:07:10.960 --> 00:07:13.700 [???]: Weaklings like him are of no consequence. 00:07:14.960 --> 00:07:18.140 The strong will always vanquish the weak 00:07:18.400 --> 00:07:21.140 you have only your own frailty to blame. 00:07:22.200 --> 00:07:25.220 Oh man, we’re done for! I just know it! 00:07:25.780 --> 00:07:26.400 [Shadow]: hmph 00:07:27.160 --> 00:07:30.080 Are you ready to admit your own foolishness? 00:07:30.420 --> 00:07:32.189 [Infinite]: Come now, Shadow 00:07:32.189 --> 00:07:35.980 I've only become what I am because of you! 00:07:36.360 --> 00:07:37.660 Very well... 00:07:37.920 --> 00:07:39.220 Let's do this! 00:07:45.900 --> 00:07:47.680 Are you doing a thing? 00:07:47.680 --> 00:07:49.280 [Twilight]: I-I am! [Luna]: Are you just fooling around? 00:07:49.280 --> 00:07:50.360 Look at this aerial rave! 00:07:50.380 --> 00:07:52.260 [Luna]: It just looks like you’re bouncing off each other like a bunch of assholes 00:07:52.320 --> 00:07:54.460 [Twilight]: look at this shit! Can you hear me sweating? 00:07:54.460 --> 00:07:55.120 [Luna]: No? 00:07:55.120 --> 00:07:56.460 [Cadence]: It’s so sick! It’s loud! 00:07:56.700 --> 00:07:57.960 [Luna]: You not even damaging them! 00:07:57.960 --> 00:07:59.600 Aerial Rave is the right word, though. 00:07:59.620 --> 00:08:01.300 This is what Blast Processing has brought us! 00:08:01.300 --> 00:08:02.080 high times. 00:08:02.140 --> 00:08:03.000 [Twilight]: Look at that! 00:08:03.080 --> 00:08:04.720 [Luna]: You fucking Processing... 00:08:04.800 --> 00:08:06.120 stop being so 00:08:06.120 --> 00:08:07.340 BLAST! 00:08:10.560 --> 00:08:12.560 OOOOOOHHH 00:08:12.560 --> 00:08:14.180 OOHH HOHOHO 00:08:14.180 --> 00:08:15.640 AHAHAHAHA 00:08:15.640 --> 00:08:17.640 The good old Game Cube crash! 00:08:17.740 --> 00:08:18.480 Well... 00:08:18.480 --> 00:08:19.040 Ah... 00:08:19.040 --> 00:08:20.880 So that's the look at Shadow I guess... 00:08:20.960 --> 00:08:21.780 That's the look at shadow! 00:08:21.780 --> 00:08:22.340 I am all 00:08:22.420 --> 00:08:23.500 that I am all 00:08:23.580 --> 00:08:25.020 I AM!!!! 00:08:51.040 --> 00:08:52.600 I'm glad I'm not here 00:08:52.600 --> 00:08:53.920 So we can talk about all the... 00:08:53.920 --> 00:08:56.720 creepy sonic fan art I have on my hard drive. 00:08:56.720 --> 00:08:58.700 Right click, Save as... 00:08:58.700 --> 00:09:02.940 Creepy fan art of Rouge getting it from all angles I bet 00:09:02.940 --> 00:09:04.800 Creepy religious fan art 00:09:04.800 --> 00:09:06.700 like literally both ends of the spectrum 00:09:06.700 --> 00:09:08.540 Yeah, yeah, yeah! 00:09:08.540 --> 00:09:11.160 From the most like, adult to the most innocent. 00:09:11.420 --> 00:09:14.120 Just Rouge doing all these religious leaders! 00:09:14.580 --> 00:09:15.500 Haha, oh Jesus! 00:09:15.540 --> 00:09:16.300 What!? 00:09:16.580 --> 00:09:18.120 What is even happening!?