[The following television program is sponsored by:]
YEAH! IT'S BATTLEFIELD!
YEAH, BATTLEFIELD 3!
BATTLEFIELD 3!
MODERN
MODERN WAR BATTLES
FIVE
It's Persona
I never played any of those –
You never played any of the Personas?
No.
They've had like four now and there's a shit ton of spin-offs and shit.
Why didn't you play them?
Because–
You got like a snowman that calls you a hoe
Because I haven't completed my Japanese lessons yet and–
Yeah, that's really fun. They localized that shit.
All right, let's do it!
Hello, my dear, my name is Kenpachi Ramasama.
Kenpachi Ramasama! Why didn't you do your math homework?
Oh, I'm sorry my toast wouldn't cook and then I had to become a Sailor Scout
Ronin warriors!
Finally! Awesome! Who loves starting Japanese games seeing half naked–
YEAH BATTLE, BATTLEFIELD WARFARE!
["We will arrive at the Yasokami terminal in a few minutes"]
So this is the whole game.
Figures.
It's the whole thing, it's just train simulator with magic and robots.
"Hey, over here!" Mysterious man asks for your attention.
"I'm your mother's younger brother and that about sums it up."
'That's me!' He's not your uncle–
He's your mother's younger brother, so I'm your younger uncle.
"Come on Nanako, introduce yourself to your cousin."
"What are you so shy for?"
"Ow!"
Man, whenever my sister was mad at my dad, she slapped him right in his asshole.
Here's our gas station! Soak it in! We got gas, we got toothbrushes, we got people pumpin' gas for you!
Do you need me to hold your skirt little girl while you go to the bathroom?
Maybe your cousin can help you.
"I know! Geez!"
'geez, motherfucker!'
"Are you taking a trip?"
No. None your business.
Get the fuck out of my face, wash my car.
Yeah! Time at last!
Hey, do you collect Yu-Gi-Oh! cards?
This game's taking a dark turn real quick.
Nanako seems uncomfortable
What?!
I didn't do that!
[Junes jingle plays]
Try to watch TV now!
Try watching now. Yeah, check it out.
You just shaking your ass in front of that little girl trying to watch TV?
Look at my swagger look at my swagger
Yo, you think you can handle this?
Now you've got it
Stop that
Kenpachi Ramasama up in the cluuub!
I love you Kenpachi Ramasama!
I really want to watch the next week's episode of common writer climax Star Force Wonder Brigade, but actually go to bed
I heard that one has a guy that's like a giant bee.
You'd better BEEware! Blaghhhgegguugughgguh
[BOOOOOOOM]
"You're starting school today right?"
NO, I'M NOT! Don't mention it to me. Shut up!
I was planning to just sit around on my futon and get super high! Don't tell your dad though...
Don't be a narc.
Why you bein' such a narc, Nanako? You like, Nanako the narc face!
What the fuck?
Ahaha!
Oh, Yosuke!
Yosuke!
Look at this fuckin' spaz!
See ya later, fucker!
I ain't gonna associate myself with you, first day a' school!
YEAH!
Oh can't, can't wait.
New life at this new school!
"Huh? You look dead today."
Probably cuz he hit his jank, and it was man stank.
What!
"Alright cumdumpsters, shut your damn stupid mouths!"
"I don't wanna walk into this classroom and get hit with a shower of fetuses from your unwanted pregnancies."
"Here's my shitlist, starting from the top:"
Mikoto Kusanagi
Simon the Driller
Okay, do we be mean or nice to this girl?
Girls like it when you're mean!
That's right!
Sorry
I don't even know that you exist therefore you want me.
Kenpachi Ramasama, how can you be so flippant and so desirable?
"I'm really sorry it was an accident!"
"What the?! I can't believe this, it's completely cracked!"
"I think mine's cracked, too"
I hope your nuts are dead.
Oh man. And once again...
Let's just leave him alone!
See you later, fucker!
"You're Yuki right? You wanna go hang out somewhere?"
"I'm not going."
"Fine!"
What a mature way to react to a girl turning you down.
[Mockingly] 'Fine! Whatever!'
'I'll just leave and become a boss character in five months.'
'See ya, fuckers.'
You're saying "see ya fuckers" a lot. It's a really versatile phrase. It kinda is.
"What did he want from me?"
He wanted your sweet gam gams
"... school district. Police officers have been dispatched–"
holy shit, quick, eat the drugs
Wait what? dead body? huh?
There's something over there!
Aw, what is it?
Don't worry man
It's a friendly bear!
Are you serious?
How is that a bear?
It's your friend!
Oh God. Mysterious bear–?
No, you know what dude, just turn this off.
No, I don't want to! It's getting really silly. No, it's really good!
What evidence is there that this is getting any better?!
Because it's– it– look! It's so interesting!
So where do I save to? Which slot?
Anywhere, anywhere with no data.
Uh
Why do you have... what?
It's 131 hours.
Why do you have that?
Because I played 131 hours of Persona 4, this game's awesome.
Oh.
It's the fucking shit.
I have everything max'd out in that game, top level––
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DO–?!
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DO––!!!
"Are you okay?"
[K.O.!]