WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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“Hello everypony, Snogwritts here!”

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“I recently just finished reading, “Patience”
By Seventh Heaven, and I do have a lot of

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thoughts about this fic.”

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“So, without further a do, let’s get right
to it.”

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“Okay so let’s start with the lovely couple
of this fic, Vinyl and Octavia”

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“The fic starts off with Vinyl being in
a hospital room with Octavia.

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The grey mare went into a coma that day, and
Vinyl is very worried about her.”

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“Wait a minute, Vinyl!?

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That same mare that caused my head trauma?!

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Oooooh I swear that mare better had paid my
hospital bill.”

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“Octavia, I got the bow you wanted, Octavia?...”

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“Huh, what’s this?”

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“Warning, Beware of loud music”

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“Huh?”

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!

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“That music was SO LOUD I couldn’t hear.

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My local doctor didn’t believe the cause,
but, those sound waves hit my head hard.

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Sigh* I swear mares are as dangerous as stallions…”

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“Speaking of which, this story has a very
unique approach when it comes to it’s plot

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line.

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Vinyl makes flashbacks while also going to
back to the present.

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A great addition to the story to tell a bit
about his characters, so, regards to the author

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for that.”

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“Although, the relationship itself does
not have a conflict.

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Now don’t get me wrong here, there is a
conflict in this story, Octavia in a coma

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and Vinyls struggles to go through it, but
the relationship itself didn’t.

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I’m talking about the flashback scenes on
how they met and how they started a relationship.

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It doesn’t make sense that only knowing
Vinyl for a few weeks can she automatically

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fall in love with her.

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Octavia can’t just fall in love with Vinyl
so easily if she just met him a few weeks

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ago, especially if there's no problems that
can arise in the relationship itself.

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Without a conflict, there wouldn’t be much
of a natural way of them getting together,

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instead, they instantly found happiness together
because of, one kiss.

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In other words, it just felt forced than natural.”

00:02:10.189 --> 00:02:15.879
“Both characters don’t seem to have much
depth in them on their feelings for each other.

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I find myself scratching my head on the relationship
itself.

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I suggest the author to go in more detail
of the flashbacks and the relationship.”

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“The story itself does have some figurative
language that can bring depth into this story,

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but not enough to bring this story to it’s
dedicated genre “Sadmance” as the author

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calls it.”

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“Overall, I think the story was ok, but
it wasn’t great.”

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“So I’m going to give this fanfic, 2 quills
out of 5.”

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“Thanks for watching fellow viewer, be sure
to share the video and leave a like if you

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liked it.”

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“And, if you haven’t already, subscribe
for reviews like this one every Sunday.”

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“Alright, that’s it for me, this is Snogwritts,
signing out.”

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Thanks for watching!