WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.180 Dear Crunchyroll: 00:00:01.400 --> 00:00:04.600 Stop fucking around, and just give me god damn anime! 00:00:04.700 --> 00:00:09.100 Why do I have to look at football players and a bunch of white-ass normie E-list wannabe actors 00:00:09.200 --> 00:00:13.020 talking about Attack on fucking Titan every time I click on your website? 00:00:13.160 --> 00:00:16.440 Why does the money which you make such a big deal out of going to the anime industry 00:00:16.540 --> 00:00:20.500 seem to be getting funnelled into a convention and an American animation production 00:00:20.600 --> 00:00:25.720 so blatantly pandering to Western trends that to even consider it anime-inspired is kind of a laugh? 00:00:25.840 --> 00:00:28.960 I know literally everyone and their grandma has pointed this out already by the way, 00:00:29.040 --> 00:00:31.260 but bragging about having a “diverse staff”, 00:00:31.380 --> 00:00:36.040 and then also about having writer’s room entirely composed of similar-looking white women 00:00:36.160 --> 00:00:38.060 makes the opposite of sense. 00:00:38.180 --> 00:00:39.560 But more importantly than any of that, 00:00:39.660 --> 00:00:44.060 how in the flying fuck is it possible that your video player still uses Flash?? 00:00:44.160 --> 00:00:46.920 FLASH IS LITERALLY SHUTTING DOWN. 00:00:47.000 --> 00:00:52.000 The other day someone sent me a plugin that transforms the Crunchyroll player to work on HTML5, 00:00:52.100 --> 00:00:54.500 and it’s so much more functional as to be laughable. 00:00:54.600 --> 00:00:59.240 It loads faster and more consistently, seeking is way easier, and most importantly, 00:00:59.380 --> 00:01:02.180 you can rewind to the 0:00 mark! 00:01:02.300 --> 00:01:05.100 DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN’T FUCKING DO THAT BY DEFAULT?? 00:01:05.200 --> 00:01:10.300 Yet Crunchyroll’s brilliant video player will remember your place in an episode literally FOREVER-- 00:01:10.400 --> 00:01:13.800 so if you watched a show five years ago and skipped the ending theme 00:01:13.900 --> 00:01:16.520 after the first few episodes because you were marathoning it, 00:01:16.640 --> 00:01:20.020 then when you come back to rewatch it, the video auto-plays at the ED, 00:01:20.120 --> 00:01:22.080 and you can’t fucking put it back at the beginning 00:01:22.160 --> 00:01:26.900 because YOU CAN’T GODDAMN CLICK ON THE 0:00 MARK AND THERE IS NO RESTART BUTTON!! 00:01:27.080 --> 00:01:31.340 Not to mention when you DO watch the episode all the way through, it autoplays the next one-- 00:01:31.440 --> 00:01:34.180 but if you have it fullscreened, then there’s no way to escape 00:01:34.280 --> 00:01:36.920 during the needless five-second episode transition-- 00:01:37.000 --> 00:01:40.100 meaning that even if you wanted to click on the next episode manually 00:01:40.200 --> 00:01:42.600 so that you aren’t waiting in silence for five seconds-- 00:01:42.700 --> 00:01:46.860 or just to get off the episode page before the next episode starts because you’re done watching-- 00:01:46.960 --> 00:01:48.100 YOU'RE TRAPPED!! 00:01:48.200 --> 00:01:52.040 There’s a stupid ass watermark at the top of the screen every single time you start up an episode 00:01:52.100 --> 00:01:54.400 reminding you that this stream is exclusive for you, 00:01:54.500 --> 00:01:57.100 and a glitch where if you pause the video for long enough, 00:01:57.200 --> 00:02:00.100 it won’t play again unless you reload the page. 00:02:00.200 --> 00:02:04.560 The translations are all cranked out so fast that they’re full of typos and minor inaccuracies 00:02:04.600 --> 00:02:08.100 which wouldn’t be so bad if someone went back through and corrected them, 00:02:08.200 --> 00:02:09.440 but they never do-- 00:02:09.440 --> 00:02:13.860 the same spelling errors can still be found on episodes uploaded half a decade ago. 00:02:13.960 --> 00:02:18.220 Not to mention, because of their pants-shitting cowardice on getting into copyright drama, 00:02:18.300 --> 00:02:22.720 they made Jojo basically unwatchable by changing all the musical reference character names 00:02:22.800 --> 00:02:24.480 --one of my favorite things about the series-- 00:02:24.560 --> 00:02:26.320 into random made-up bullshit; 00:02:26.400 --> 00:02:31.160 even though you can literally HEAR THE CHARACTERS SAYING THE CORRECT NAMES IN THE AUDIO. 00:02:31.300 --> 00:02:35.320 This year, Crunchyroll Expo is featuring Bardock Obama as a guest-- 00:02:35.400 --> 00:02:39.940 a twitter meme lord who leads large-scale harassment campaigns against people he doesn’t like. 00:02:40.000 --> 00:02:40.880 Such as me! 00:02:40.980 --> 00:02:44.000 Who got attacked for the standpoint of defending loli fanservice-- 00:02:44.100 --> 00:02:45.600 something he is adamantly against, 00:02:45.700 --> 00:02:49.300 in spite of constantly pimping his sponsorships with sites like Crunchyroll 00:02:49.400 --> 00:02:53.060 which itself hosts anime like FUCKING EROMANGA-SENSEI. 00:02:53.160 --> 00:02:55.240 If you think it’s okay for Crunchyroll to host a guest 00:02:55.340 --> 00:02:58.500 who incited his fanbase to send death-threats and pedophilia accusations 00:02:58.600 --> 00:03:00.300 at my twitter en masse for days on end 00:03:00.400 --> 00:03:03.840 on the basis of supporting a type of media which they themselves propagate, 00:03:03.940 --> 00:03:05.960 then by all means, keep giving them your money. 00:03:06.060 --> 00:03:07.360 Oh, but Digibro! 00:03:07.460 --> 00:03:09.840 Don’t you care about supporting the industry?? 00:03:09.940 --> 00:03:11.440 Frankly, no. 00:03:11.540 --> 00:03:16.720 I don’t really care about propping up the bad habits of idiotic corporations as they slowly eat themselves, 00:03:16.800 --> 00:03:22.500 nor am I so utterly delusional as to think that giving 7 dollars a month to an American company 00:03:22.600 --> 00:03:25.300 so they can split it among the thirty or so production committees 00:03:25.400 --> 00:03:27.280 of all the different shows I might watch in a month 00:03:27.400 --> 00:03:30.600 --after taking a cut for themselves to produce Tumblr: The Anime-- 00:03:30.700 --> 00:03:33.000 is going to service the industry in any way. 00:03:33.100 --> 00:03:35.860 Let half of these fuckers fold and see if they don’t start rushing 00:03:35.940 --> 00:03:39.580 to find a more consumer-friendly monetization paradigm in a matter of days. 00:03:39.700 --> 00:03:43.280 Fuck Crunchyroll, and fuck their preachy narrative about how much they’re doing for the industry. 00:03:43.400 --> 00:03:47.140 If the industry wants our support, they can find a way to give us a product worth supporting. 00:03:47.240 --> 00:03:48.960 If they can’t do that, then fuck ‘em. 00:03:49.220 --> 00:03:51.380 AAAnyways-- 00:03:51.500 --> 00:03:55.040 support me on Patreon, so I can be a guy, 00:03:55.220 --> 00:03:57.040 and I'll see you tomorrow.