WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

00:00:14.720 --> 00:00:21.460
I was driving on the freeway in the fast lane
With a rabid wolverine in my underwear

00:00:21.460 --> 00:00:24.640
When suddenly a guy behind me in the back
seat

00:00:24.640 --> 00:00:27.040
Popped right up and cupped his hands across
my eyes

00:00:27.320 --> 00:00:30.200
I guessed, "Is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Louie?"

00:00:30.200 --> 00:00:32.480
"Is it Bob or Joe or Walter?"

00:00:32.480 --> 00:00:35.280
"Could it be Bill or Jim or Ed or Bernie or
Steve?"

00:00:35.280 --> 00:00:39.520
I probably would have kept on guessing
But about that time we crashed into the truck

00:00:39.640 --> 00:00:42.760
And as I'm laying bleeding there on the asphalt

00:00:42.840 --> 00:00:47.800
Finally I recognize the face of my hibachi dealer

00:00:47.800 --> 00:00:51.480
Who takes off his prosthetic lips and tells me

00:00:51.480 --> 00:00:57.520
Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long

00:00:57.680 --> 00:01:03.480
And everything you thought was just so
Important doesn't matter

00:01:03.480 --> 00:01:10.000
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along

00:01:10.120 --> 00:01:16.040
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong

00:01:16.320 --> 00:01:20.160
I was walkin' to the kitchen for some Golden
Grahams

00:01:20.160 --> 00:01:24.000
When I accidentally stepped into an alternate
dimension

00:01:24.000 --> 00:01:26.990
And soon I was abducted by some aliens from
space

00:01:27.000 --> 00:01:28.719
Who kinda looked like Jamie Farr

00:01:28.720 --> 00:01:32.560
They sucked out my internal organs
And they took some polaroids

00:01:32.560 --> 00:01:36.440
And said I was a darn good sport
And as a way of saying thank you

00:01:36.480 --> 00:01:40.640
They offered to transport me back to
Any point in history that I would care to

00:01:40.640 --> 00:01:41.400
go

00:01:41.400 --> 00:01:44.480
And so I had them send me back to last Thursday
night

00:01:44.480 --> 00:01:49.560
So I could pay my phone bill on time
Just then the floating disembodied head of

00:01:49.560 --> 00:01:52.880
Colonel Sanders started yelling

00:01:52.880 --> 00:01:59.240
Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long

00:01:59.360 --> 00:02:04.960
And everything you thought was just so
Important doesn't matter

00:02:04.960 --> 00:02:11.400
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along

00:02:11.680 --> 00:02:17.600
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong

00:02:54.880 --> 00:02:58.440
I was just about to mail a letter to my evil
twin

00:02:58.440 --> 00:03:03.840
When I got a nasty papercut
And, well, to make a long story short

00:03:03.840 --> 00:03:06.160
It got infected and I died

00:03:06.200 --> 00:03:11.000
So now I'm up in heaven with St. Peter
By the pearly gates

00:03:11.000 --> 00:03:15.760
And it's obvious he doesn't like
The Nehru jacket that I'm wearing

00:03:15.760 --> 00:03:19.040
He tells me that they've got a dress code

00:03:19.040 --> 00:03:25.400
Well, he lets me into heaven anyway
But I get the room next to the noisy ice machine

00:03:25.400 --> 00:03:31.280
For all eternity
And every day he runs by screaming

00:03:31.320 --> 00:03:37.720
Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long

00:03:37.880 --> 00:03:42.040
And everything you used to think was so important
Doesn't really matter anymore

00:03:42.040 --> 00:03:43.920
Because the simple fact remains that

00:03:43.920 --> 00:03:50.320
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along

00:03:50.400 --> 00:03:55.240
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong

00:03:56.120 --> 00:03:58.760
Everything you know is wrong