WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:03.200 --> 00:00:04.600 TWILIGHT: This is a waste of time. 00:00:04.600 --> 00:00:05.300 APPLEJACK: Maaaan... 00:00:05.300 --> 00:00:08.200 TWILIGHT: You know, communists announced religion is the opiate of the masses, 00:00:08.200 --> 00:00:12.600 but Foal Chomsky argued that sports have taken their place as the prime social numbing agent. 00:00:12.600 --> 00:00:16.600 Although, if you ask me, sometimes it's politics and they were both stupid, but this is STILL a waste of time. 00:00:16.600 --> 00:00:17.600 APPLEJACK: Twilight...! 00:00:17.600 --> 00:00:20.700 TWILIGHT: Wait, 'sports has'? 'Sports... sports have'? 00:00:20.700 --> 00:00:21.200 It's a singular concept: 'sports has—' 00:00:21.200 --> 00:00:23.000 APPLEJACK: Oh, for Pete's... Twilight! It's a singular concept: 'sports has—' 00:00:23.000 --> 00:00:25.000 Foal Chomsky can chomp a corncob! 00:00:25.000 --> 00:00:28.100 Nobody here is forgettin' their ills or their financial situation 00:00:28.100 --> 00:00:30.100 when the nacho chips cost a dang fortune! 00:00:31.269 --> 00:00:34.000 TWILIGHT: Everypony here is forgetting about important stuff right now. 00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:36.400 APPLEJACK: Well, fine, but that's not exclusively why they're here 00:00:36.400 --> 00:00:39.300 and the ponies who're forgettin' important stuff can afford the beer. 00:00:39.300 --> 00:00:41.900 What this is, is friends havin' a good time... 00:00:41.900 --> 00:00:43.300 ...havin' FUN. 00:00:43.300 --> 00:00:46.700 You could probably write about this to Celestia if the work makes more sense to you. 00:00:46.700 --> 00:00:47.600 PINKIE: No! Yes. 00:00:47.600 --> 00:00:51.600 We write in the journal now: the book of anecdotes and secrets for defeating villains! 00:00:51.600 --> 00:00:52.600 APPLEJACK: Oh, right. 00:00:52.600 --> 00:00:55.600 Oh, is that what we're doin' now? I thought we had a magic table. 00:00:55.600 --> 00:00:58.000 Ah, I dunno. I-i-it barely even matters anymore. 00:00:58.000 --> 00:00:59.900 FLUTTERSHY: ...I still write in the book... 00:00:59.900 --> 00:01:00.800 ...uh, just this morning, I— 00:01:00.800 --> 00:01:01.400 TWILIGHT: Heyheyheyhey! ...uh, just this morning, I— 00:01:01.400 --> 00:01:04.400 That player's wearing a Mysterious Mare-Do-Well outfit. 00:01:04.400 --> 00:01:06.900 I thought we consigned all of those to a cleansing fire! 00:01:06.900 --> 00:01:08.100 RAINBOW: Oh, that's Best Pony! 00:01:08.100 --> 00:01:13.000 She's kinda like a luchador... like, her identity is a mystery, so she could be anybody. 00:01:13.300 --> 00:01:14.300 Kids love that stuff. 00:01:14.300 --> 00:01:15.700 TWILIGHT: But why Mare-Do-Well? 00:01:15.700 --> 00:01:18.400 APPLEJACK: Well, I reckon on account of all of our world-savin' adventures and stuff, 00:01:18.400 --> 00:01:22.200 she could be any of the Elements of Harmony in particular since we all took turns wearing it... 00:01:22.500 --> 00:01:24.000 ...'cept for... y'know... 00:01:24.000 --> 00:01:25.500 RAINBOW: Yeah, Rarity didn't wear it! 00:01:25.500 --> 00:01:30.000 FLUTTERSHY: I-I'm up here watching the game, so I guess I'm probably not best pony... 00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:31.300 TWILIGHT: Yeah, and the apes are up here, too. 00:01:31.800 --> 00:01:34.700 Why are so many hoofball players creatures without hooves? 00:01:34.700 --> 00:01:35.700 That one keeps staring... 00:01:35.700 --> 00:01:37.800 [muffled techno beat] RARITY: He's looking right at YOU, Dash. 00:01:37.800 --> 00:01:41.300 Seems somebody is interested in a little 'contact sport'. 00:01:41.300 --> 00:01:42.900 YOU should go down there. 00:01:43.300 --> 00:01:47.700 RAINBOW: Oh, man... I was not expecting to play hoofball today! D'you think somepony got sick? 00:01:47.700 --> 00:01:48.200 RARITY: Heh... well, he does look like he could use a little bit of... 00:01:48.200 --> 00:01:50.800 [techno beat gets louder] RARITY: Heh... well, he does look like he could use a little bit of... 00:01:50.800 --> 00:01:52.000 [techno beat gets louder] RARITY: Heh... well, he does look like he could use a little bit of... 'attention'. ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°) 00:01:52.200 --> 00:01:54.500 RAINBOW: Geez... okay, I better go, then. 00:01:54.500 --> 00:01:55.400 Cheer for me, guys! 00:01:56.300 --> 00:01:57.200 TWILIGHT: This will end poorly. 00:01:57.800 --> 00:01:59.600 They're definitely not inviting Dash to play. 00:02:00.100 --> 00:02:03.800 Five bits says she breaks something and gets all five of us booted out of here before kickoff. 00:02:03.800 --> 00:02:05.300 APPLEJACK: SIX of us, Twi! God... 00:02:05.300 --> 00:02:08.900 TWILIGHT: ...six bits? We might as well bet ten! Who bets multiples of three? 00:02:08.900 --> 00:02:11.000 PINKIE: Everypony, QUIET! Yes! 00:02:11.000 --> 00:02:12.200 IT BEGINS. (ò ω ó) 00:02:12.500 --> 00:02:14.600 RAINBOW [over intercom]: Okay, so... you guys want lewd? 00:02:14.600 --> 00:02:15.900 [echoing] I guess I can do that... do that... do that... 00:02:15.900 --> 00:02:19.700 [synth instrumental] 00:02:30.700 --> 00:02:31.600 ♪ Oh, baby... ♫ 00:02:31.600 --> 00:02:32.500 ♪ Oh, baby... oh, baby... ♫ 00:02:32.500 --> 00:02:33.400 ♪ Oh, baby... oh, baby... oh, baby... ♫ 00:02:33.400 --> 00:02:34.200 ♪ Oh, baby... oh, baby... oh, baby... oh, baby ♫ 00:02:34.400 --> 00:02:35.300 ♪ Oh, baby... ♫ 00:02:35.300 --> 00:02:36.200 ♪ Oh, baby... oh, baby... ♫ 00:02:36.200 --> 00:02:37.100 ♪ Oh, baby... oh, baby... oh, baby... ♫ 00:02:37.100 --> 00:02:37.900 ♪ Oh, baby... oh, baby... oh, baby... oh, baby ♫ 00:02:38.100 --> 00:02:39.000 ♪ Oh, baby... ♫ 00:02:39.000 --> 00:02:39.900 ♪ Oh, baby... oh, baby... ♫ 00:02:39.900 --> 00:02:40.800 ♪ Oh, baby... oh, baby... oh, baby... ♫ 00:02:40.800 --> 00:02:41.600 ♪ Oh, baby... oh, baby... oh, baby... oh, baby ♫ 00:02:41.800 --> 00:02:42.700 ♪ Oh, baby... ♫ 00:02:42.700 --> 00:02:43.600 ♪ Oh, baby... oh, baby... ♫ 00:02:43.600 --> 00:02:44.500 ♪ Oh, baby... oh, baby... oh, baby... ♫ 00:02:44.500 --> 00:02:45.300 ♪ Oh, baby... oh, baby... oh, baby... oh, baby ♫