TWILIGHT: This is a waste of time.
APPLEJACK: Maaaan...
TWILIGHT: You know, communists announced religion is the opiate of the masses,
but Foal Chomsky argued that sports have taken their place as the prime social numbing agent.
Although, if you ask me, sometimes it's politics and they were both stupid, but this is STILL a waste of time.
APPLEJACK: Twilight...!
TWILIGHT: Wait, 'sports has'? 'Sports... sports have'?
It's a singular concept: 'sports has—'
APPLEJACK: Oh, for Pete's... Twilight! It's a singular concept: 'sports has—'
Foal Chomsky can chomp a corncob!
Nobody here is forgettin' their ills or their financial situation
when the nacho chips cost a dang fortune!
TWILIGHT: Everypony here is forgetting about important stuff right now.
APPLEJACK: Well, fine, but that's not exclusively why they're here
and the ponies who're forgettin' important stuff can afford the beer.
What this is, is friends havin' a good time...
...havin' FUN.
You could probably write about this to Celestia if the work makes more sense to you.
PINKIE: No! Yes.
We write in the journal now: the book of anecdotes and secrets for defeating villains!
APPLEJACK: Oh, right.
Oh, is that what we're doin' now? I thought we had a magic table.
Ah, I dunno. I-i-it barely even matters anymore.
FLUTTERSHY: ...I still write in the book...
...uh, just this morning, I—
TWILIGHT: Heyheyheyhey! ...uh, just this morning, I—
That player's wearing a Mysterious Mare-Do-Well outfit.
I thought we consigned all of those to a cleansing fire!
RAINBOW: Oh, that's Best Pony!
She's kinda like a luchador... like, her identity is a mystery, so she could be anybody.
Kids love that stuff.
TWILIGHT: But why Mare-Do-Well?
APPLEJACK: Well, I reckon on account of all of our world-savin' adventures and stuff,
she could be any of the Elements of Harmony in particular since we all took turns wearing it...
...'cept for... y'know...
RAINBOW: Yeah, Rarity didn't wear it!
FLUTTERSHY: I-I'm up here watching the game, so I guess I'm probably not best pony...
TWILIGHT: Yeah, and the apes are up here, too.
Why are so many hoofball players creatures without hooves?
That one keeps staring...
[muffled techno beat] RARITY: He's looking right at YOU, Dash.
Seems somebody is interested in a little 'contact sport'.
YOU should go down there.
RAINBOW: Oh, man... I was not expecting to play hoofball today! D'you think somepony got sick?
RARITY: Heh... well, he does look like he could use a little bit of...
[techno beat gets louder] RARITY: Heh... well, he does look like he could use a little bit of...
[techno beat gets louder] RARITY: Heh... well, he does look like he could use a little bit of... 'attention'. ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
RAINBOW: Geez... okay, I better go, then.
Cheer for me, guys!
TWILIGHT: This will end poorly.
They're definitely not inviting Dash to play.
Five bits says she breaks something and gets all five of us booted out of here before kickoff.
APPLEJACK: SIX of us, Twi! God...
TWILIGHT: ...six bits? We might as well bet ten! Who bets multiples of three?
PINKIE: Everypony, QUIET! Yes!
IT BEGINS. (ò ω ó)
RAINBOW [over intercom]: Okay, so... you guys want lewd?
[echoing] I guess I can do that... do that... do that...
[synth instrumental]
♪ Oh, baby... ♫
♪ Oh, baby... oh, baby... ♫
♪ Oh, baby... oh, baby... oh, baby... ♫
♪ Oh, baby... oh, baby... oh, baby... oh, baby ♫
♪ Oh, baby... ♫
♪ Oh, baby... oh, baby... ♫
♪ Oh, baby... oh, baby... oh, baby... ♫
♪ Oh, baby... oh, baby... oh, baby... oh, baby ♫
♪ Oh, baby... ♫
♪ Oh, baby... oh, baby... ♫
♪ Oh, baby... oh, baby... oh, baby... ♫
♪ Oh, baby... oh, baby... oh, baby... oh, baby ♫
♪ Oh, baby... ♫
♪ Oh, baby... oh, baby... ♫
♪ Oh, baby... oh, baby... oh, baby... ♫
♪ Oh, baby... oh, baby... oh, baby... oh, baby ♫