*An offkey version of the MLP theme*
*A foreboding theme, heavy emphasis on the low notes*
*Repeating angelic chanting + NAS theme*
*Chanting becomes more punctuated and spread out*
*Chanting begins to shift offkey*
*Drums and cymbal with bass, indicating a factory*
*A very dark and sinster theme*
*Shifts to a postive and upbeat theme*
Hello, Twilight.
Oh my gosh, Rarity thank God you're here. I am so bored! I have cleaned and polished the magic table three times today.
Oh, really? You do that? I thought it was magically self-cleaning.
It's a mysterious and Arcane magical artifact; aside from detecting small amounts of emotional stress anywhere in the world, nobody knows what it does.
Oh that reminds me. Do you think we should keep eating breakfast on it, like we have been?
I dunno.
You don't think the Magic seeps into the pancakes, do you?
Well, you guys comin' over for breakfast is pretty much my entire social life!
It's like, I-It's like you can you know it's, it's probably fine.
Hmm.
Well, you know when I was bored,
I once played connect the dots with the bumps on my ceiling. Oh, but I know something you can do.
Twilight, can you collect taxes?
Taxes?
Yeah, you know, when ponies give you money, because you're the princess?
Oh.
Oh, I have a history book about this.
*magic noises*
Once upon a time,
legends say that, long ago, there was such a thing, called "taxes".
On Celestuary 24th, the legal plan was uttered forth. That ponies paid the princess on the basis of their legal worth.
A pony was appointed,
but the plan became disjointed when he couldn't get a penny, 'cause he couldn't count past 20.
The problem was abated with a warble and a garble,
when the pony they'd related choked to death upon a marble.
Sweetie nearly died from that, but I was there to slap her back.
I guess that's good, but try to focus, here the story comes to locus.
A new collector comes to town. Got his numbers written down.
Sees himself from door to door, ponies ask him what it's for.
For the princess, he replies. Ponies say they'd rather die. Slammed the door upon his face.
He declares they'll find their place! To the courts he drags them all, entire town will take the fall.
Ponies lose the legal battle. They don't know their lawyer prattle.
But one thing they had was pitch, and the mind to pitch a fit.
Throw some torches in the mix, and things are looking down a bit.
Upon the stake, collector hoisted, where his pants were bluntly moistened.
Dragged him out to center square, where they deigned to set him there.
Light your fire, say a prayer.
All gods watching anywhere, let this burning sate your needs. Forget about these taxing deeds.
All our leaders, here and now, those in future reading how, how we set this fool aflame, can we really take the blame ?
Simple creatures, one and all. Only one should take the fall.
Remember now, this thing we do, and we can say there wasn't two.
That collector was the last of all collectors in the past,
here, within the story penned about his gruesome, gory end.
Now this book no longer waxes 'bout the tale of pony taxes.
I love books so much.
Yeah, yeah, we know you do. That's why we bought that self-help book, to help you get over this. Did it work?
I-I-I didn't really read it...
We are just practically throwing money away on you!
I don't have a problem!
I-I'm sure y-you could probably write a friendship BOOK about the problems you don't have with books.
But speaking of friendship, do you suppose that you could collect taxes for a friendship reason?
Well, I suppose I am the friendship princess, so I have to say yes, or otherwise,
I'm just objectively admitting that the only thing I do as princess is make a great toy!
Oh my god, that's adorable! I love it!
Yeah, the griffins have been making 'em.
Well- Well, their kids have been...
for, like, affordable pricing...
Okay, well I have an affordable, multi-step plan for the tax money.
This looks really ambitious.
I mean, because you're gonna have a really tough time explaining what you're trying to do, with just these drawings.
I plan to open as many boutiques as I can count.
There's only three here - that's how many you are already own.
Oh.
Well, I got bored of drawing.
Lately, I've been feeling really bored about living.
You think that's normal? I feel like it kinda' came up on me gradually.
I dunno, Twilight. You're, like, at the top.
Try to strive for something better than princess, maybe?
The point is, I'm gonna' need a lot of money.
How much money are you gonna' need, exactly?
How high can you count?
Well, I can count to 100.
That much! 100!
But, recently, I've been studying a new, theoretical number, called the Twi-hundred.
Oh- heh. Oh, that's what I thought you said bef-.That's how much I need.
A Twi-hundred is when you count to 100, 100 times.
Isn't that just 100?
Nooo.
But you said you count to 100, 100 times, so don't you just get to 100 every time?
*magic noises*
Okay, you see these marbles?
*gasp* Is this a Twi-hundred marbles? There's so many...
No, no, no, no. This is, like, 30 marbles.
Oh yeah, no, I-I knew that. That's still a lot of marbles, though.
I have a theory that all numbers are just smaller parts of other numbers.
*slap*
I'm sorry, I thought you were gonna' try to swallow that. Just reflex.
Just, watch this.
*magic splitting sounds*
Why did you break your marble, Twilight?! I'm not gonna' buy you another one!
Okay, I'm j-. I'm sorry, I scold Sweetie Belle so often, I'm jus- I-I... Go ahead.
How many marbles is this?
It's- It's one broken marble.
No! It's two!
You can't just change one into two, Twilight! Otherwise, cats and dogs are gonna get gay-married!
But, Rarity! We could collect Twi-hundred taxes, and- and there might even be more than Twi-Hundred taxes inside that Twi-Hundred!
*gasp*
Wait, could we really?
Oh, uh... I got a little excited. It's all theoretical.
What- what if I told you I might be wrong?
I am incredibly excited right now, and I would be extremely let-down!
If you had to estimate exactly how let-down... Like, how let-down do you think we're talking?
I will inhale a marble, just to spite you!
Okay! That's- that's kind of what I thought, sooo, that's our conflict for today.
Let's figure out how to collect taxes.
So, you'll do it?
Well, I mean,
This is why ponies become rulers, right? To help their friends get things they wouldn't have access to without their royal power?
I mean. If that's not pure, wholesome friendship, I don't know what else to call it.
*techno music*