GREEN: So this is the moon.
Except for a couple of craters, it looks pretty much the same as the Earth.
RED: And there's nobody here.
Looks like it's gonna be up to you and me to build a nation.
GREEN: I'm not building anything like that with you! This is a strictly platonic relationship.
RED: That's not what I meant.
GREEN: It can be hard to tell with you sometimes.
I assumed you meant growing petri dish humans by combining our DNA.
RED: Oh.
Yeah, well... we could.
GREEN: There's no way I'm raising kids with you!
Besides, the school system in this neighborhood is just awful.
RED: Yeah.
And I hear there's this really mean bully that tells half the population their dreams are dead.
RED: The way I see it, either we get back to Earth, or we attract people to Red Base One.
GREEN: No one wants to live on the moon, Red!
There's no jobs and no tourist traps!
RED: Nuh uh! "Come see famous Crashed Rocket!"
"Visit the Crashed Rocket Gift Shop!"
GREEN: Who's gonna come to see a crashed rocket?
COSMONAUT: Hello! Is everykone doing okay?
I saw the rocket crash and thought I would come see.
RED: OHHHHH! In your face, Green!
Hey, you wanna buy a T-shirt?
*skeptical concerned Cosmonaut*
*outro tune*
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