WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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Well kids, the animatronic band is on the fritz again...

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*electric bzzrt*

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So please put your hands together for Red!
The minimum wage worker and the dead inside band!

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This next song is dedicated to working in retail.

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[first part of the outro tune]

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[A fairly upbeat country-esqe song, just Red's guitar playing]

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Ding a ling ding as you walk their floor. 
"Greetings" says the man at the front of the store.

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A bright blue vest says he's personnel.
And you just stepped in wage slave hell.

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We all smile here cause we're trained to lie!
And when there's a sale make you notified!

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There's cantalope, and potpourri!

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But we also tend to peddle in broken dreams.

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I've got a dozen bills, no hope to pay.
For medicine! And my student days.

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If that weren't bad things are getting worse!
An angry fat lady with a giant purse!

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She walks to the desk with steel in her eyes
and a fistful of coupons that are all expired!

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She huffs and puffs, and she makes such a fuss!
That the day becomes a circus cause she's frickin nuts!

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She'll come back tomorrow like she always will.
To grill us poor souls for the previous bill!

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And the day after that, like she always does.
The guys at the store call her "Sissy Fuss".

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Corporate came by, said morale ain't high.
So we got an hour training in suicide!

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How to spot when someone isn't doing well.
Which we all need to know in wage slave hell.

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Gary start smoking for the extra breaks.
Which is why we never see him when packing crates!

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I might worry more about the health of a man.
But dying from your cancer's the retirement plan.

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I laced up my boots and I shook their hands.
And agreed that I would help them push all these brands!

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That was the moment of my personal knell.

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As I took a position in wage slave hell...

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[background music from the song continues to play]