WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:03.860 --> 00:00:08.280 Okay, say Dash became a Wonderbolt cadet, and we learn not to underestimate her. 00:00:08.360 --> 00:00:10.820 That's ludicrous Twilight, how'd she pass the exam? 00:00:10.820 --> 00:00:14.660 Uh, say... she's a savant; she learns by not paying attention. 00:00:14.660 --> 00:00:17.440 She never pays attention, she'd know everything! 00:00:17.440 --> 00:00:22.200 We need to try to keep our lies straight on these friendship reports or Celestia's gonna give us skin cancer. 00:00:22.420 --> 00:00:24.080 I don't wanna go bald Twilight! 00:00:24.240 --> 00:00:25.680 You're already bald. 00:00:25.680 --> 00:00:27.700 I'm worried my fin's gonna fall off! 00:00:27.700 --> 00:00:29.940 Just take a simple premise and flesh it out. 00:00:29.940 --> 00:00:32.420 Maybe could you write about somethin' that you did today? 00:00:32.420 --> 00:00:37.680 All I did today was spend hours making origami out of string cheese wrappers and shooting down your report ideas. 00:00:37.680 --> 00:00:40.640 [sputters] You said it was friendship origami! 00:00:40.940 --> 00:00:41.700 Well I lied. 00:00:41.700 --> 00:00:42.760 I knew it! 00:00:42.760 --> 00:00:47.380 I was gonna call you out but I didn't wanna look stupid for not knowing what "friendship origami" was. 00:00:47.380 --> 00:00:49.160 Never mind that, it's all in the past now. 00:00:49.420 --> 00:00:53.680 And it looks like we've got no other choice. We've gotta go outside for inspiration. 00:00:55.900 --> 00:00:59.220 Hey AJ, you in here? I brought your friendship origami. 00:00:59.220 --> 00:01:01.280 What the heck is friendship origami? 00:01:01.280 --> 00:01:04.880 Don't be stupid AJ, everyone knows what friendship origami is. What are you doin'? 00:01:05.280 --> 00:01:05.840 Poopin' 00:01:06.020 --> 00:01:07.400 That's gross, why would you tell me that? 00:01:07.400 --> 00:01:10.780 Well I'm the element of honesty so the first thing I thought of was the truth. 00:01:10.780 --> 00:01:12.120 What're y'all doin' in my room? 00:01:12.120 --> 00:01:13.940 We're gonna make more friendship origami! 00:01:13.940 --> 00:01:15.240 I missed out on the first batch. 00:01:15.240 --> 00:01:18.400 I'm sorry Dash; the origami was just a clever ruse. 00:01:18.400 --> 00:01:20.340 I've brought you here to send you to the moon. 00:01:20.520 --> 00:01:21.020 Oh. 00:01:21.340 --> 00:01:21.900 Oh darn. 00:01:21.900 --> 00:01:22.840 Well that's not good. 00:01:22.840 --> 00:01:24.400 Are you still gonna cook me spaghetti? 00:01:24.400 --> 00:01:25.800 The spaghetti was a lie too. 00:01:25.800 --> 00:01:27.320 I'm afraid you've turned completely evil. 00:01:27.320 --> 00:01:29.060 Hwe- Wyua- 00:01:29.060 --> 00:01:29.900 When? 00:01:29.900 --> 00:01:31.360 We all have our sins, Dash. 00:01:31.360 --> 00:01:33.660 Ooh gosh, I thought nobody knew about those. 00:01:33.660 --> 00:01:37.960 And once you're on the moon I'll begin to regret the terrible decision that lead me here and BOOM! 00:01:37.960 --> 00:01:39.100 Friendship report! 00:01:41.220 --> 00:01:41.720 Okay! 00:01:41.720 --> 00:01:43.720 And now we wait for the guilt to set in. 00:01:43.720 --> 00:01:45.720 Did y'all just seriously send Dash to the moon? 00:01:45.720 --> 00:01:47.100 Are you still pooping? 00:01:47.240 --> 00:01:47.880 Hurry up! 00:01:48.940 --> 00:01:49.440 Dash! 00:01:49.440 --> 00:01:50.320 What the heck! 00:01:50.320 --> 00:01:51.500 Where's that spaghetti? 00:01:51.500 --> 00:01:55.680 You don't get spaghetti! You were supposed to be gone until I felt bad. 00:01:55.680 --> 00:01:58.980 Did you not immediately feel bad after sending me to the moon? 00:01:58.980 --> 00:01:59.780 Gosh I would. 00:01:59.800 --> 00:02:01.360 No! I felt relieved. 00:02:01.360 --> 00:02:04.680 You know I get social anxiety; talking to ponies stresses me out! 00:02:04.680 --> 00:02:08.320 Ya see Dash, this is how you know you've turned evil: you're not thinkin' of your friends. 00:02:08.460 --> 00:02:11.660 Aah, shoot. Okay. Alright alright send me back! 00:02:11.660 --> 00:02:15.640 What the heck? Luna didn't come back from the moon for a thousand years. 00:02:15.640 --> 00:02:18.400 Maybe it depends on how much magic you put into the banishment. 00:02:18.400 --> 00:02:21.300 What is goin' on out there? Is Dash on the moon or not? 00:02:21.300 --> 00:02:22.880 Why are ya doin' this in my room? 00:02:24.280 --> 00:02:26.520 Are you sure you don't feel bad? 00:02:26.520 --> 00:02:29.620 We all have our sins Dash and if I dwelled on them we'd never get ahead. 00:02:29.620 --> 00:02:32.440 Because you said to come back when you felt bad and here I am! 00:02:33.840 --> 00:02:35.200 This isn't working. 00:02:35.200 --> 00:02:38.200 Maybe you just don't believe in your heart that Dash deserves to be punished. 00:02:38.280 --> 00:02:39.340 No, I mean, 00:02:39.340 --> 00:02:41.240 abusing the power is starting to feel fun! 00:02:41.240 --> 00:02:42.700 I told ya this would happen. 00:02:42.700 --> 00:02:46.660 You know if I could send things to the moon there wouldn't be any dirty dishes around the house. 00:02:46.660 --> 00:02:48.640 We might not have any dishes at all for that matter. 00:02:48.640 --> 00:02:49.600 Plan B it is then. 00:02:49.820 --> 00:02:50.320 Hey! 00:02:50.540 --> 00:02:51.040 AJ! 00:02:51.040 --> 00:02:54.320 I'd be out of the bathroom a lot faster if I didn't have a dang audience! 00:02:54.320 --> 00:02:56.680 Who all's out there? I hear Twilight n' Spike, 00:02:56.680 --> 00:02:57.380 Dash is on the moon... 00:02:57.380 --> 00:03:00.260 Do you disapprove of me sending Dash to the moon? 00:03:00.260 --> 00:03:03.880 I am tryin' to poop why are ya facin' me with moral conundrums? 00:03:03.880 --> 00:03:05.880 Do you disapprove or not? 00:03:05.900 --> 00:03:08.460 Oh my God, of course I don't approve! 00:03:08.460 --> 00:03:12.360 As soon as I get out of here I got a lotta questions AND I might just kick your ass! 00:03:12.360 --> 00:03:13.000 Perfect! 00:03:13.000 --> 00:03:14.200 Spike, take a letter! 00:03:14.200 --> 00:03:19.160 Sometimes your friends know best, and you should consult with them before taking rash action. 00:03:20.400 --> 00:03:20.900 So... 00:03:20.900 --> 00:03:22.460 you think she'll buy it or... 00:03:22.460 --> 00:03:26.040 I don't see why we had to go through this if you foresaw the obvious result. 00:03:26.180 --> 00:03:26.680 *urp* 00:03:27.780 --> 00:03:30.900 "Find someone to write less insipid reports." 00:03:32.480 --> 00:03:33.180 Dash! 00:03:33.740 --> 00:03:35.260 How would you like some spaghetti? 00:03:35.500 --> 00:03:37.420 D'aaaw, I missed you too bud! 00:03:38.200 --> 00:03:39.340 Okay, so 00:03:39.340 --> 00:03:40.860 Let's do one, where, 00:03:40.860 --> 00:03:44.040 Luna dreams up an evil monster that wants to destroy Equestria. 00:03:44.040 --> 00:03:46.480 I thought, like, Isn't she reformed or somethin? 00:03:46.580 --> 00:03:47.080 Uh. 00:03:47.080 --> 00:03:51.060 She makes monster to remind her to feel guilty about when she was Nightmare Moon. 00:03:51.060 --> 00:03:51.560 *groan* 00:03:51.560 --> 00:03:55.740 If it exists to make Luna feel guilty about being Nightmare Moon, why does it attack Ponyville? 00:03:55.900 --> 00:03:57.260 It feeds on sins! 00:03:57.640 --> 00:03:58.800 Cause we all have those... 00:03:59.440 --> 00:04:02.020 Twi: No that just sounds like Luna's trying to destroy Equestria 00:04:02.220 --> 00:04:02.820 Dash: Ok, uh.. 00:04:03.060 --> 00:04:06.960 Alright, what if we have one where we do like a race with like pine derby racecars, 00:04:07.140 --> 00:04:07.640 and... 00:04:07.680 --> 00:04:10.140 I go too fast and then AJ goes too slow, 00:04:10.140 --> 00:04:11.060 and we crash! 00:04:11.340 --> 00:04:11.940 Twi: What's a racecar? 00:04:11.940 --> 00:04:17.280 Dash: And the moral, is that, you should always meet halfway except during a race cause then it's just a car accident. 00:04:17.280 --> 00:04:20.580 AJ: Sugar how do we crash if I'm going too slow and your goin too fast? 00:04:20.580 --> 00:04:21.560 Won't you just be ahead of me? 00:04:21.560 --> 00:04:25.000 Dash: No cause, the track is built like one of those, uh hot wheels, cars... 00:04:25.000 --> 00:04:26.740 AJ: The ones where y-you go around in a figure 8. 00:04:26.740 --> 00:04:28.620 You mean the ones that're built for crashin? 00:04:28.620 --> 00:04:29.780 Dash: Yeah those are friggin awesome! 00:04:29.780 --> 00:04:30.680 Twi: I don't think that's going to work... 00:04:30.680 --> 00:04:34.840 Dash: Ok! H-how about, what if we do one where, uh t-the kids get their cutie marks... 00:04:35.300 --> 00:04:37.120 an-and ha-for havin cutie marks. 00:04:37.280 --> 00:04:39.080 Twi: How does that work? That some kinda paradoxical... 00:04:39.080 --> 00:04:43.100 Dash: Well! I-its-a a they-they get them for understanding what cutiemarks are for! 00:04:43.380 --> 00:04:45.780 Twi: They're, for, exactly what's printed on your butt. 00:04:45.780 --> 00:04:49.580 Dash: A-nd thats... but... th-thats, then they realise their cutiemarks aren't very good! 00:04:49.820 --> 00:04:51.500 AJ: Well now that idea's just depressin. 00:04:51.500 --> 00:04:52.680 Dash: I-no-wuh-ok so then... uh... 00:04:52.680 --> 00:04:57.080 like, a griffin comes, to, ponyville because she wants a cutie mark but she can't have them! 00:04:57.080 --> 00:04:59.360 Twi: That sounds like your trying to salvage a bad idea. 00:04:59.360 --> 00:05:01.620 Dash: Look they have to get their cutie marks in something! 00:05:01.620 --> 00:05:06.040 AJ: Yeah probly like, engineerin or somethin, that's like a later in life type of cutie mark and a good one too. 00:05:06.040 --> 00:05:08.240 Dash: Well-I-don'-we don't have time to wait for them to grow-o-ok... 00:05:08.460 --> 00:05:10.560 How bout, Rarity opens a boutique in Canterlot- 00:05:10.560 --> 00:05:15.500 Twi: Retail space in Canterlot main street costs 2,000 bits per square foot. 00:05:15.980 --> 00:05:16.580 Dash: What?! 00:05:16.780 --> 00:05:22.020 Twi: Yeah, Rarity's not going to be able to afford to open a boutique in Canterlot, ever, don't tell her that, it'll make her mad. 00:05:22.020 --> 00:05:23.780 Dash: Ok.. Uh.. How bout this: 00:05:23.780 --> 00:05:28.300 A magic eating monster gets loose and it goes to Canterlot to suck up all the magic 00:05:28.300 --> 00:05:28.960 and it eats the alicorns- 00:05:28.960 --> 00:05:34.060 Twi: Celestia lays out a series of traps that are triggered if the magical wards sealing them is broken 00:05:34.060 --> 00:05:36.820 which does happen because the magical monster eats magic. 00:05:37.200 --> 00:05:41.740 Yeah, there's a monster in Tartarus named Tirek that does exactly that, it eats magic... 00:05:42.100 --> 00:05:44.800 And, uh, Celestia's had him in prison down there for centuries. 00:05:44.800 --> 00:05:46.800 She's got this planned out for ages. 00:05:47.000 --> 00:05:48.140 Dash: Aw man really? 00:05:48.140 --> 00:05:52.280 Twi: Yeah how dumb would she have to be to not have a plan for a creature that's been in prison for centuries 00:05:52.280 --> 00:05:53.680 and she's the one who imprisoned it. 00:05:54.040 --> 00:05:56.420 Dash: I thought you would just, like abdicate the throne. 00:05:56.660 --> 00:06:00.420 My story was going to involve her giving you all the magic and then you were gonna fight Tirek. 00:06:00.740 --> 00:06:05.140 Twi: Let's, just, steer away from telling Celestia stories about times she was defeated by things. 00:06:05.300 --> 00:06:07.680 Dash: Ok, let's say that we, met a changeling, 00:06:07.880 --> 00:06:11.320 and we found out that they don't actually have to eat love and if they don't eat love 00:06:11.620 --> 00:06:13.220 they turn into bug princes! 00:06:13.220 --> 00:06:15.280 AJ: H-how come they ate love in the first place then? 00:06:15.480 --> 00:06:16.160 Dash: *breath* 00:06:16.160 --> 00:06:20.260 Caaaaaaaause... theeeey're... evil queeeeen.... 00:06:20.520 --> 00:06:23.120 made them all eat love, and thaaat, 00:06:23.440 --> 00:06:24.440 wh-uhhhh... 00:06:24.760 --> 00:06:26.040 Twi: Why would she make them eat love? 00:06:26.200 --> 00:06:29.540 If she wanted to be more powerful then she would become a bug prince right? 00:06:29.540 --> 00:06:31.960 Dash: Y-eah yeah I guess that one doesn't make a lot of sense 00:06:31.960 --> 00:06:32.900 Ok! Uhm... 00:06:33.480 --> 00:06:36.760 What if a magical alicorn baby is born in a far away land and- 00:06:36.760 --> 00:06:40.040 Twi: Alright, that's enough. I'm goin outside for a while.