Okay, say Dash became a Wonderbolt cadet, and we learn not to underestimate her.
That's ludicrous Twilight, how'd she pass the exam?
Uh, say... she's a savant; she learns by not paying attention.
She never pays attention, she'd know everything!
We need to try to keep our lies straight on these friendship reports or Celestia's gonna give us skin cancer.
I don't wanna go bald Twilight!
You're already bald.
I'm worried my fin's gonna fall off!
Just take a simple premise and flesh it out.
Maybe could you write about somethin' that you did today?
All I did today was spend hours making origami out of string cheese wrappers and shooting down your report ideas.
[sputters] You said it was friendship origami!
Well I lied.
I knew it!
I was gonna call you out but I didn't wanna look stupid for not knowing what "friendship origami" was.
Never mind that, it's all in the past now.
And it looks like we've got no other choice. We've gotta go outside for inspiration.
Hey AJ, you in here? I brought your friendship origami.
What the heck is friendship origami?
Don't be stupid AJ, everyone knows what friendship origami is. What are you doin'?
Poopin'
That's gross, why would you tell me that?
Well I'm the element of honesty so the first thing I thought of was the truth.
What're y'all doin' in my room?
We're gonna make more friendship origami!
I missed out on the first batch.
I'm sorry Dash; the origami was just a clever ruse.
I've brought you here to send you to the moon.
Oh.
Oh darn.
Well that's not good.
Are you still gonna cook me spaghetti?
The spaghetti was a lie too.
I'm afraid you've turned completely evil.
Hwe- Wyua-
When?
We all have our sins, Dash.
Ooh gosh, I thought nobody knew about those.
And once you're on the moon I'll begin to regret the terrible decision that lead me here and BOOM!
Friendship report!
Okay!
And now we wait for the guilt to set in.
Did y'all just seriously send Dash to the moon?
Are you still pooping?
Hurry up!
Dash!
What the heck!
Where's that spaghetti?
You don't get spaghetti! You were supposed to be gone until I felt bad.
Did you not immediately feel bad after sending me to the moon?
Gosh I would.
No! I felt relieved.
You know I get social anxiety; talking to ponies stresses me out!
Ya see Dash, this is how you know you've turned evil: you're not thinkin' of your friends.
Aah, shoot. Okay. Alright alright send me back!
What the heck? Luna didn't come back from the moon for a thousand years.
Maybe it depends on how much magic you put into the banishment.
What is goin' on out there? Is Dash on the moon or not?
Why are ya doin' this in my room?
Are you sure you don't feel bad?
We all have our sins Dash and if I dwelled on them we'd never get ahead.
Because you said to come back when you felt bad and here I am!
This isn't working.
Maybe you just don't believe in your heart that Dash deserves to be punished.
No, I mean,
abusing the power is starting to feel fun!
I told ya this would happen.
You know if I could send things to the moon there wouldn't be any dirty dishes around the house.
We might not have any dishes at all for that matter.
Plan B it is then.
Hey!
AJ!
I'd be out of the bathroom a lot faster if I didn't have a dang audience!
Who all's out there? I hear Twilight n' Spike,
Dash is on the moon...
Do you disapprove of me sending Dash to the moon?
I am tryin' to poop why are ya facin' me with moral conundrums?
Do you disapprove or not?
Oh my God, of course I don't approve!
As soon as I get out of here I got a lotta questions AND I might just kick your ass!
Perfect!
Spike, take a letter!
Sometimes your friends know best, and you should consult with them before taking rash action.
So...
you think she'll buy it or...
I don't see why we had to go through this if you foresaw the obvious result.
*urp*
"Find someone to write less insipid reports."
Dash!
How would you like some spaghetti?
D'aaaw, I missed you too bud!
Okay, so
Let's do one, where,
Luna dreams up an evil monster that wants to destroy Equestria.
I thought, like, Isn't she reformed or somethin?
Uh.
She makes monster to remind her to feel guilty about when she was Nightmare Moon.
*groan*
If it exists to make Luna feel guilty about being Nightmare Moon, why does it attack Ponyville?
It feeds on sins!
Cause we all have those...
Twi: No that just sounds like Luna's trying to destroy Equestria
Dash: Ok, uh..
Alright, what if we have one where we do like a race with like pine derby racecars,
and...
I go too fast and then AJ goes too slow,
and we crash!
Twi: What's a racecar?
Dash: And the moral, is that, you should always meet halfway except during a race cause then it's just a car accident.
AJ: Sugar how do we crash if I'm going too slow and your goin too fast?
Won't you just be ahead of me?
Dash: No cause, the track is built like one of those, uh hot wheels, cars...
AJ: The ones where y-you go around in a figure 8.
You mean the ones that're built for crashin?
Dash: Yeah those are friggin awesome!
Twi: I don't think that's going to work...
Dash: Ok! H-how about, what if we do one where, uh t-the kids get their cutie marks...
an-and ha-for havin cutie marks.
Twi: How does that work? That some kinda paradoxical...
Dash: Well! I-its-a a they-they get them for understanding what cutiemarks are for!
Twi: They're, for, exactly what's printed on your butt.
Dash: A-nd thats... but... th-thats, then they realise their cutiemarks aren't very good!
AJ: Well now that idea's just depressin.
Dash: I-no-wuh-ok so then... uh...
like, a griffin comes, to, ponyville because she wants a cutie mark but she can't have them!
Twi: That sounds like your trying to salvage a bad idea.
Dash: Look they have to get their cutie marks in something!
AJ: Yeah probly like, engineerin or somethin, that's like a later in life type of cutie mark and a good one too.
Dash: Well-I-don'-we don't have time to wait for them to grow-o-ok...
How bout, Rarity opens a boutique in Canterlot-
Twi: Retail space in Canterlot main street costs 2,000 bits per square foot.
Dash: What?!
Twi: Yeah, Rarity's not going to be able to afford to open a boutique in Canterlot, ever, don't tell her that, it'll make her mad.
Dash: Ok.. Uh.. How bout this:
A magic eating monster gets loose and it goes to Canterlot to suck up all the magic
and it eats the alicorns-
Twi: Celestia lays out a series of traps that are triggered if the magical wards sealing them is broken
which does happen because the magical monster eats magic.
Yeah, there's a monster in Tartarus named Tirek that does exactly that, it eats magic...
And, uh, Celestia's had him in prison down there for centuries.
She's got this planned out for ages.
Dash: Aw man really?
Twi: Yeah how dumb would she have to be to not have a plan for a creature that's been in prison for centuries
and she's the one who imprisoned it.
Dash: I thought you would just, like abdicate the throne.
My story was going to involve her giving you all the magic and then you were gonna fight Tirek.
Twi: Let's, just, steer away from telling Celestia stories about times she was defeated by things.
Dash: Ok, let's say that we, met a changeling,
and we found out that they don't actually have to eat love and if they don't eat love
they turn into bug princes!
AJ: H-how come they ate love in the first place then?
Dash: *breath*
Caaaaaaaause... theeeey're... evil queeeeen....
made them all eat love, and thaaat,
wh-uhhhh...
Twi: Why would she make them eat love?
If she wanted to be more powerful then she would become a bug prince right?
Dash: Y-eah yeah I guess that one doesn't make a lot of sense
Ok! Uhm...
What if a magical alicorn baby is born in a far away land and-
Twi: Alright, that's enough. I'm goin outside for a while.