[Rarity] You know, it really feels like we don't see much of the mayor these days.
[Twilight] I know right, but don't worry
Just today. I sent my star pupil --
[Rarity] Your only pupil --
[Twilight] -- my only pupil
Starlight Glimmer on a very important coffee delivery friendship mission to the mayor's office
and by the time we get there the mayor should already be alert and happy to see us!
[Trixie] Oh my god Starlight, why did you do that?!
[Starlight] Why did you put a marble in her coffee?
[Trixie] I thought it was a mint, why did you twist her head off?
[Starlight] Who puts mints in coffee, Trixie?
[Trixie] WHY?
[Starlight] I was trying to do the Heimlich --
[Trixie] Th- that's not how-
[Starlight] -- and I made an honest mistake.
[Trixie] The Heimlich does not involve the neck or spine!
[Starlight] Maybe she's okay.
[Trixie] Do you see the X's on her eyes?
[Starlight] Those could be pluses.
[Trixie] That means she's dead!
[Starlight] It could mean she's drunk.
[Trixie] She is not drunk!
[Starlight] We don't know that yet.
[Trixie] We have to bury the body.
Starlight, you need to use your mind magic to make everyone forget that there ever was a Mayor Mare.
[Starlight] I'm not supposed to use my magic like that.
[Trixie] You're not supposed to murder ponies!
[Starlight] Twilight will forgive me...
[Trixie] For murder?!
[Starlight] Ya! One time I killed the whole planet and she forgave me for that
[Trixie] Really?
[Starlight] Yeah, this boy I knew back when I was a kid, moved because he had to change schools and that justified everything.
[Trixie] Man, that-- seriously?! My mom beat me till I ran away and that-- I never killed anyone.
[Starlight] Well you should try it, it's cathartic.
[Trixie] It's stressful! Twilight forgave you for that? She's never forgiven me for anything.
[Starlight] Well, we did undo all those murders, so no lasting harm was done, and you could argue I didn't know I was killing everyone.
[Trixie] Can you undo this?
[Starlight] Uhh...
[Trixie] Can you?
[Starlight] Uhh... Definitionally, maybe... but we need to go to the Crystal Empire for the Crystal Heart.
It's a big source of life magic, you know.
[Trixie] Sure, yeah, the crystal, whatever. Look, okay
I'm gonna stash the body in my cart. You make everyone forget about Mayor Mare, so they don't ask any questions.
We'll go to the crystal thing and then we'll get this undone and it'll be just like all the other murders that you've done.
[Starlight] Well not like the whole other murders...
[Twilight] Starlight!
[Trixie] *screaming*
[Twilight] And Trixie.
[Trixie] Man, I hated that desk, wow!
Just crap, crap desk.
[Twilight] Always a pleasure.
[Starlight] Hello Twilight.
[Twilight] Hey there star pupil.
[Starlight] Only pupil.
[Twilight] Yes.
[Starlight] What brings you to this completely empty room except for those of us standing here --
[Trixie] -- alive.
[Starlight] Alive.
[Twilight] I'm here to speak to... um...
Uh...
The um... the pony that... the-- she runs the town...
[Starlight] Oh!
Oh...
That would be you!
[Twilight] Me?
[Starlight] Right? Because you're a princess and you have a castle and that means you're in charge.
[Twilight] Really? Oh my god!
This is... this is like that dream where I enrolled in a class and then forgot about it, and it's the final exam day.
[Starlight] Yeah, you're probably destined for an F on this job.
[Trixie] Starlight!
Do something!
[Starlight] Okay...
So uh... what exactly did you think your princess job meant you did?
[Twilight] Well... well just this year alone
I've rescued at least 15 friendships and-- and most of them weren't even long-distance
[Starlight] Yeah, if it seems like you're not doing a lot of work, well uh...
I don't want to sound too rude
But what you do is kind of stupid
Mending all these social fences
Isn't worth your time expenses
Royalty is so much broader
Than the feelings in back waters
Your true role as arbitrator
And that scope is so much greater
All disputes about the land
Should thus be settled by your hand
Should foreign fools make violent claims
It falls to you to make containment
If I may so interject, there lies a certain line of work that states that you have full intention to respect the needs of those mentioned
The document states that no free pony shall be taken to her imprisoned or be deprived of his holdings, liberties...
... or any otherwise destroyed, until we pass upon him the judgment of his peers
Or basically if you think we killed someone you gotta prove it
Because you don't know we've killed a pony
What if such a charge were phony?
Plus the gallows have to hang
It wouldn't share a shred[?] of blame
This is nothing but conjecture
For the sake of student lecture
Don't go with your suspicions
All I'm saying is be judicious
[Twilight] I don't know if I really learned anything from your song, Starlight.
[Starlight] Well. I'm just the student not the teacher.
Anyway, good luck and good bye!