WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:02.840 --> 00:00:04.660 NARRATOR (Rainbow Dash): Rainbow Dash Presents... 00:00:04.900 --> 00:00:06.260 My Little Dashie. 00:00:12.640 --> 00:00:14.820 Harry Wayne lived his life like any normal monkey - 00:00:14.820 --> 00:00:17.220 one day at a time, experiencing one event after the next. 00:00:17.540 --> 00:00:20.660 ...or maybe every event all at once depending on how you think about it. 00:00:20.780 --> 00:00:23.040 But he just thinks he's experiencing one event at a time, 00:00:23.480 --> 00:00:24.420 or y'know... 00:00:24.740 --> 00:00:28.500 Anyway... no time travel or anything for the most part, except for forwards, 00:00:28.500 --> 00:00:30.580 which is kind of too bad, 'cause that would be fun. 00:00:30.580 --> 00:00:33.920 But fun is not something that Harry is really *good* at having. 00:00:34.080 --> 00:00:37.640 He's more good at being angry at the city and vigilant against its shortcomings. 00:00:37.640 --> 00:00:39.700 It's become a routine since the death of his parents, 00:00:39.700 --> 00:00:41.760 and he spends each night traveling the streets, 00:00:41.780 --> 00:00:44.500 ridding it of the wrongs that caused those deaths in the first place. 00:00:44.740 --> 00:00:47.680 He spends a lot of time staring at a *pretty* supercomputer, 00:00:47.680 --> 00:00:49.780 mostly super 'cause of sentimental reasons, 00:00:49.780 --> 00:00:51.480 and it's friggin' bad for his eyes. 00:00:51.480 --> 00:00:53.120 And so his routine remained, 00:00:53.180 --> 00:00:55.800 until one day when hanging an innocent man on the light pole 00:00:55.800 --> 00:00:58.140 for a crime he *could* have committed but actually didn't, 00:00:58.280 --> 00:00:59.860 Harry Wayne spotted a box, 00:00:59.860 --> 00:01:01.740 and that box would change his life forever. 00:01:04.880 --> 00:01:08.000 HARRY: Who on earth leaves trash just layin' around in the street? 00:01:08.000 --> 00:01:10.380 I swear people only think of themselves. 00:01:11.300 --> 00:01:15.840 Well, I guess it's up to *me* to deal with yet another one of the city's... 00:01:15.840 --> 00:01:16.340 [Gasps] 00:01:16.660 --> 00:01:17.780 NARRATOR: It's frigging Rainbow Dash! 00:01:17.780 --> 00:01:21.040 Not just Rainbow Dash but *baby* Rainbow Dash! 00:01:21.040 --> 00:01:25.200 The cutest, most potential filled, most stark naked kind of Rainbow Dash there is! 00:01:25.520 --> 00:01:29.500 Harry's dried and crusty heart cannot help but melt into a crusty soup. 00:01:29.500 --> 00:01:30.920 She's so adorable! 00:01:31.000 --> 00:01:32.060 HARRY: Ohhh! 00:01:32.560 --> 00:01:35.340 Now who on earth would throw away a perfectly good magic pony? 00:01:35.540 --> 00:01:39.040 NARRATOR: Harry immediately does what just about anybody would do in this kind of situation- 00:01:39.040 --> 00:01:41.040 he stuffs me down his shirt and runs off. 00:01:41.840 --> 00:01:45.660 Uh, now contrary to what most ponies think, being a bat is very expensive. 00:01:46.020 --> 00:01:48.860 So even though Harry has paid off all the debts on his bat-car, 00:01:48.860 --> 00:01:50.440 and his bat-lube, 00:01:50.440 --> 00:01:51.760 and his bat-'puter, 00:01:51.760 --> 00:01:54.500 that stuff costs millions, which was all of his inheritance, 00:01:54.500 --> 00:01:56.400 so he doesn't have money for a bat-house. 00:01:56.400 --> 00:01:58.880 Just a normal house in a really bad part of town. 00:01:58.880 --> 00:02:00.500 So that's where he takes baby me. 00:02:00.780 --> 00:02:03.440 In fact Harry Wayne actually has no real income at all, 00:02:03.440 --> 00:02:06.020 so everything except his bat-stuff is pretty rundown, 00:02:06.020 --> 00:02:09.820 and the bat car is gonna be on cinder blocks until he can bum a few hundred dollars off someone. 00:02:10.240 --> 00:02:14.560 As we enter the house Harry stops to rub his little monkey fingers all over a picture of his parents. 00:02:14.780 --> 00:02:15.960 HARRY: Hello mom and dad. 00:02:16.040 --> 00:02:17.620 NARRATOR: They're, um, dead. 00:02:17.620 --> 00:02:21.380 They died fighting a horrible Lord-wizard-spirochetes something or other. 00:02:21.820 --> 00:02:23.600 So, um, when that awkwardness is over 00:02:23.600 --> 00:02:25.960 he dumps little me on the floor and lets me get to exploring, 00:02:25.960 --> 00:02:27.960 in the assumption that I'll be pretty darn cute. 00:02:28.080 --> 00:02:29.540 Of course this house is pretty cold, 00:02:29.540 --> 00:02:30.860 so the first thing I do is pee. 00:02:30.860 --> 00:02:32.620 It's kind of like the main thing that babies do. 00:02:32.620 --> 00:02:34.280 After that he feeds me carrots, 00:02:34.280 --> 00:02:37.220 which I'm just old enough for, and it makes us instant friends. 00:02:37.500 --> 00:02:40.560 My parents would have flipped out if they'd known I'd gotten a whole carrot at this age. 00:02:40.560 --> 00:02:41.400 They'd all be like, 00:02:41.400 --> 00:02:43.980 "eat your mushed alfalfa, it's good for you!" 00:02:43.980 --> 00:02:45.000 But not Harry Wayne! 00:02:45.000 --> 00:02:46.940 HARRY: Well, I dunno what horses eat, 00:02:46.940 --> 00:02:49.640 but, you're a *magical* horse so I'm sure it'll work out. 00:02:49.980 --> 00:02:52.980 Oh and by the way, the heater hasn't worked since my father died. 00:02:53.460 --> 00:02:55.100 You're gonna be so happy here! 00:02:55.100 --> 00:02:56.730 NARRATOR: And there I stay for months. 00:02:56.730 --> 00:02:59.400 I learned to talk pretty quickly, but I never get to go outside, 00:02:59.400 --> 00:03:02.080 and I think it's *seriously* stunting my emotional growth, 00:03:02.080 --> 00:03:05.700 because I just *destroy everything* in my youthful rebellion. 00:03:05.800 --> 00:03:08.440 [Crashing, thumping footsteps, glass breaks] 00:03:08.460 --> 00:03:10.660 HARRY: Dash? What are you doing up there? 00:03:10.940 --> 00:03:12.200 DASH: I am playing. 00:03:12.460 --> 00:03:14.780 HARRY: Playing what? It's too noisy. 00:03:14.780 --> 00:03:17.000 DASH: I am playing run. I'm running. 00:03:17.000 --> 00:03:18.760 HARRY: Well no more playing 'run', 00:03:19.120 --> 00:03:21.020 you can play 'sit' instead. 00:03:21.140 --> 00:03:23.400 DASH: Awwww! I *hate* sit! 00:03:23.400 --> 00:03:26.600 HARRY: 'Sit' is a nice game. You love 'sit'! 00:03:26.600 --> 00:03:27.100 [Dash begins bawling] 00:03:27.100 --> 00:03:29.740 Kids today don't have enough imagination. 00:03:29.740 --> 00:03:34.640 What are you gonna do with basic cable, the internet or Xbox that you can't do... 00:03:34.640 --> 00:03:36.740 Dash [still bawling]: I never even go outside! 00:03:36.740 --> 00:03:38.400 HARRY: Big girls don't cry Dashie. 00:03:38.460 --> 00:03:40.480 [Dash continues bawling and sobbing] 00:03:40.600 --> 00:03:42.360 Big girls don't cry. 00:03:42.360 --> 00:03:44.680 [Dash continues sobbing hysterically] 00:03:44.680 --> 00:03:45.340 Hey... 00:03:45.340 --> 00:03:47.780 [Dash's sobbing continues unabated] 00:03:47.780 --> 00:03:50.560 Hey, hey Dashie, look! Look! I have a sugar-cube! 00:03:51.240 --> 00:03:54.120 If you play 'sit', you'll get a sugar-cube. 00:03:54.120 --> 00:03:55.000 [Sobbing abruptly ceases] 00:03:55.500 --> 00:03:56.020 DASH: Oh. 00:03:56.440 --> 00:03:58.860 Ok, yes, gimme, gimme the cube. 00:03:58.920 --> 00:04:00.140 HARRY: Do you like 'sit'? 00:04:00.140 --> 00:04:00.740 DASH: Yes. 00:04:00.740 --> 00:04:02.500 HARRY: Do you like 'sit'? 00:04:02.500 --> 00:04:03.680 DASH: Yes, I like the cube! 00:04:03.680 --> 00:04:06.060 HARRY: Lemme hear you say you like 'sit'. 00:04:06.060 --> 00:04:07.540 DASH: OK! I love it! I love sit! 00:04:07.540 --> 00:04:09.060 Now give the sugar-cube! 00:04:10.380 --> 00:04:11.760 HARRY: So precious... 00:04:12.040 --> 00:04:16.960 Now you be good, daddy has to go to wizard school, and he'll be back for dinner. 00:04:17.260 --> 00:04:20.540 And whatever you do, *don't go outside*. 00:04:21.660 --> 00:04:25.460 DASH: [Cackles] Ain't no rule can withstand Rainbow Dash! 00:04:27.960 --> 00:04:31.080 GIRL'S VOICE: "Hey Barbara, where you done get them nice shoes girl?" 00:04:31.080 --> 00:04:32.960 "They match y'all's pink earrings." 00:04:32.960 --> 00:04:36.620 [Girl's voice deepens] "Oh, hey Sven, I done got these at the rich monkey store 00:04:36.620 --> 00:04:38.800 where they sell one underwear at a time." 00:04:39.000 --> 00:04:40.060 DASH: H-Hello? 00:04:40.060 --> 00:04:40.820 GIRL: Hello? 00:04:40.840 --> 00:04:42.960 DASH: Hi, my name is Rainbow Dash. 00:04:43.160 --> 00:04:45.960 I'm breaking the rules. Don't tell anybody. 00:04:46.180 --> 00:04:48.380 GIRL: Oh my gosh! Is you a magical pony?! 00:04:48.480 --> 00:04:50.200 DASH: No. I think just regular. 00:04:50.200 --> 00:04:52.660 GIRL: Regular? But you're talking and blue! 00:04:52.660 --> 00:04:55.280 That's not regular, you've got to be magical! 00:04:55.340 --> 00:04:57.080 DASH: Ye-OK! That's awesome! 00:04:57.160 --> 00:04:59.840 I didn't know other ponies, so I couldn't compare. 00:04:59.960 --> 00:05:01.540 GIRL: My name is LaFonda. 00:05:01.540 --> 00:05:03.340 LaFonda Diller Onyapafunda. 00:05:03.340 --> 00:05:04.860 But y'all can call me LaFonda. 00:05:04.860 --> 00:05:06.780 Ok! My first wish, is to be a princess. 00:05:06.780 --> 00:05:09.360 DASH: Oh that's a good wish. I wish that too. 00:05:09.360 --> 00:05:11.020 LAFONDA: I thought you granted wishes. 00:05:11.020 --> 00:05:12.780 DASH: Oh, um... oh... 00:05:12.780 --> 00:05:14.220 I don't know how to do *that*. 00:05:14.380 --> 00:05:15.160 LAFONDA: Well, how come? 00:05:15.160 --> 00:05:17.200 You lost from a leprechaun village or somethin'? 00:05:17.200 --> 00:05:19.520 DASH: [chuckles] No, I live here. 00:05:19.720 --> 00:05:21.820 LAFONDA: Ok, well, do y'all wanna play Barbaras with me? 00:05:21.820 --> 00:05:22.360 DASH: Sure! 00:05:22.360 --> 00:05:24.800 LAFONDA: Ok then, you be Barbara and I'll be Sven. 00:05:25.160 --> 00:05:28.060 "Wow girl, them sure is some sexy shoes!" 00:05:28.060 --> 00:05:30.400 "They make you look damn fine sexy girl!" 00:05:30.400 --> 00:05:32.500 DASH: "Oh, oh gosh..." 00:05:32.500 --> 00:05:35.860 "I don't know what that means for sure, but thank you so much!" 00:05:36.060 --> 00:05:37.880 LAFONDA: Wow. Y'all played Barbaras before? 00:05:37.880 --> 00:05:39.100 You're pretty good at it. 00:05:39.100 --> 00:05:40.710 DASH: This is my first time, thank you! 00:05:40.710 --> 00:05:43.160 I don't know why my dad won't let me go outside, 00:05:43.160 --> 00:05:44.850 I'm having a really nice time. 00:05:44.850 --> 00:05:46.020 LAFONDA: I don't have no dad. 00:05:46.020 --> 00:05:47.660 My mama says she don't need no man. 00:05:48.680 --> 00:05:51.080 Hey, y'all's a pony. You want some sugar-cubes? 00:05:51.180 --> 00:05:53.970 DASH: Seriously?! I always want sugar-cubes! 00:05:53.970 --> 00:05:54.620 You have some?! 00:05:54.620 --> 00:05:57.120 Oh my gosh! Being outside is like the best thing ever! 00:05:57.160 --> 00:05:58.020 LAFONDA: Here y'all do. 00:05:58.020 --> 00:06:00.360 DASH: Oh my gosh! Thank you! 00:06:00.360 --> 00:06:03.100 [Frantic eating] 00:06:03.180 --> 00:06:07.240 [Speaking with mouth full] This is so amazing! You're my favorite monkey ever! 00:06:08.440 --> 00:06:10.700 LAFONDA: What are y'all doing? I don't want this. 00:06:10.710 --> 00:06:12.820 DASH: Are you kidding? I have to give you something in return! 00:06:13.220 --> 00:06:13.720 [Door closes] 00:06:14.580 --> 00:06:17.660 Uh-oh! oh, oh no! My dad came home! 00:06:19.420 --> 00:06:19.920 [Squeak] 00:06:20.360 --> 00:06:22.920 NARRATOR: Right then I realized that if I went through that door, 00:06:22.920 --> 00:06:25.640 my monkey dad would see me and know for sure I broke the rules. 00:06:26.400 --> 00:06:29.460 HARRY: Wow, it sure is lucky I left this book sittin' here. 00:06:29.480 --> 00:06:31.880 Otherwise I'd've had to search the whole house! 00:06:31.980 --> 00:06:33.000 [Thump, door closes] 00:06:33.840 --> 00:06:36.280 Rainbow Dash! Were you outside?! 00:06:36.580 --> 00:06:37.800 DASH: Um... 00:06:38.740 --> 00:06:41.500 I broke the rules, I am a *rebel*! 00:06:41.820 --> 00:06:43.840 HARRY: Sweetheart, it is very important that you... 00:06:43.840 --> 00:06:45.360 DASH: I don't have any scruples! 00:06:45.360 --> 00:06:48.000 HARRY: Listen to me Dashie, you can't go outside, 00:06:48.000 --> 00:06:50.740 because if you do, the government will find you, 00:06:50.740 --> 00:06:52.700 and then they'll cut you into pieces. 00:06:53.700 --> 00:06:56.240 DASH: Oh no! Why would they do that?! 00:06:56.240 --> 00:06:59.000 HARRY: I don't know. It's just what the government does, 00:06:59.000 --> 00:07:01.920 they find some rare one-of-a-kind animal, 00:07:01.920 --> 00:07:04.340 and then they just cut it up into pieces for science. 00:07:04.460 --> 00:07:06.100 DASH: Even if I ask them not to? 00:07:06.100 --> 00:07:08.220 HARRY: *Especially* if you ask 'em not to! 00:07:08.220 --> 00:07:10.080 That'll just make 'em angry. 00:07:10.260 --> 00:07:12.060 Trust me little Dashie, 00:07:12.060 --> 00:07:15.400 there is no better place for you than here, with me. 00:07:16.120 --> 00:07:19.120 But if you want, tomorrow I can stuff you down my shirt, 00:07:19.120 --> 00:07:20.220 and we can go to the park! 00:07:20.280 --> 00:07:20.780 DASH: 'Kay. 00:07:20.840 --> 00:07:22.260 HARRY: That's a good girl! 00:07:22.640 --> 00:07:23.900 Would you like a sugar cube? 00:07:23.900 --> 00:07:25.160 DASH: [Mumbling] I still don't und... 00:07:25.160 --> 00:07:26.780 Ah! Would I?! Yes! Please. 00:07:26.780 --> 00:07:28.400 NARRATOR: And so life continued, 00:07:28.400 --> 00:07:32.000 with me falling into a terrible and boring routine with no real aspirations. 00:07:32.000 --> 00:07:36.120 the only link between me and the outside world and sanity was LaFonda. 00:07:36.440 --> 00:07:38.240 HARRY: We're so lucky we found each other. 00:07:38.460 --> 00:07:41.800 I haven't been this happy since before my parents died! 00:07:41.800 --> 00:07:43.020 DASH: I'm being squished! 00:07:43.020 --> 00:07:44.840 Can I please have my own room? 00:07:44.920 --> 00:07:46.220 HARRY: You're not ready yet. 00:07:46.220 --> 00:07:48.520 NARRATOR: Day after day on a diet of nothing but carrots, 00:07:48.520 --> 00:07:51.160 sugar-cubes, and whatever else LaFonda would feed me, 00:07:51.160 --> 00:07:52.740 just hanging around, fighting the power, 00:07:52.740 --> 00:07:55.080 and then getting the power explained to me again. 00:07:55.260 --> 00:07:59.280 The only breaks were the weekly colic episodes that turned hours into years. 00:07:59.300 --> 00:08:03.280 But worst of all was when my dad decided that I liked NASCAR on DVD, 00:08:03.280 --> 00:08:05.920 'cause I really obviously liked the *idea* of racing, 00:08:05.920 --> 00:08:10.760 it looked like a lot of fun to *ride* in a race car 'cause they go so fast. 00:08:10.760 --> 00:08:14.740 But sitting around just *watching* race cars go in circles for hours, 00:08:14.740 --> 00:08:18.860 and having my monkey dad skip past the accidents was *way boring*. 00:08:18.860 --> 00:08:21.860 When I turned old enough monkey dad decided I was ready for a job, 00:08:21.860 --> 00:08:23.360 which is super lame. 00:08:23.370 --> 00:08:24.780 Of course I couldn't have a *real* job, 00:08:24.780 --> 00:08:27.640 because I'm a pony and the pony dissection labs and all, 00:08:27.640 --> 00:08:29.860 but every time I mow I got a dad dollar, 00:08:29.860 --> 00:08:32.980 which I could turn into the dad store for cookies and stuff. 00:08:32.980 --> 00:08:35.440 So pretty soon I just mowed the lawn to death. 00:08:35.440 --> 00:08:37.660 But then finally came the fateful day. 00:08:37.660 --> 00:08:39.660 Left home alone and with nothing else to do, 00:08:39.680 --> 00:08:42.660 I finished reading the phone book and decided to try reading receipts instead. 00:08:42.660 --> 00:08:44.420 it took me a little while to realize it, 00:08:44.420 --> 00:08:46.660 but dad dollars had *major* inflation! 00:08:46.660 --> 00:08:49.700 One dad dollar bought me stuff that cost like, 30 cents or less! 00:08:49.700 --> 00:08:51.660 It was friggin' ridiculous! 00:08:52.160 --> 00:08:53.500 DASH: How long? 00:08:53.500 --> 00:08:54.960 LAFONDA: How long what? 00:08:54.960 --> 00:08:58.420 DASH: How long has *pocket lint* had low market value?! 00:08:58.880 --> 00:09:01.920 I've been mis-investing my entire future! 00:09:02.300 --> 00:09:04.120 LAFONDA: I don't know... since forever? 00:09:04.240 --> 00:09:05.280 DASH: Since forever?! 00:09:05.740 --> 00:09:09.760 Oh man! That box upstairs is *worthless*! 00:09:10.080 --> 00:09:13.160 I can't believe it! I'm totally bankrupt! 00:09:13.940 --> 00:09:16.000 I'm gonna hurl myself off the roof! 00:09:16.440 --> 00:09:17.860 Talk me out of it LaFonda! 00:09:17.920 --> 00:09:20.280 LAFONDA: Ok, don't go hurl yourself off a roof! 00:09:20.760 --> 00:09:22.420 Gosh, why you gotta be so dramatic? 00:09:22.580 --> 00:09:24.660 DASH: [Sighs] 'Cause my life is boring. 00:09:24.660 --> 00:09:26.820 What else am I gonna make a big deal about? 00:09:26.820 --> 00:09:29.620 Seriously, it's like *this* or my whole afternoon is just over. 00:09:29.740 --> 00:09:33.480 [Magical explosion, fireworks] 00:09:34.080 --> 00:09:34.960 STRANGE MONKEY: At last! 00:09:35.140 --> 00:09:37.840 Bat Who Lived! I found your domicile! 00:09:37.840 --> 00:09:39.000 And now... [trails off] 00:09:39.380 --> 00:09:41.640 DASH: LaFonda?! LaFonda, help! 00:09:41.640 --> 00:09:44.020 I-I think the government finally found me! 00:09:44.020 --> 00:09:45.420 It's just how I always pictured them! 00:09:45.420 --> 00:09:50.240 STRANGE MONKEY: You're a talking blue pegasus... a small one too. 00:09:50.240 --> 00:09:53.760 Normally they're majestic, and white, and less... 00:09:54.380 --> 00:09:56.740 Well, they usually have a more inspiring frame. 00:09:56.740 --> 00:09:58.600 DASH: no I, am, um... 00:09:58.940 --> 00:10:01.480 No, I'm-I'm a-a lawn ornament. 00:10:01.740 --> 00:10:03.740 A *talking* lawn ornament. 00:10:04.060 --> 00:10:04.620 LAFONDA: Hey! 00:10:04.680 --> 00:10:05.280 DASH: I'm very advanced. 00:10:05.440 --> 00:10:06.480 LAFONDA: You bein' robbed over there? 00:10:06.540 --> 00:10:07.540 DASH: LaFonda! Help! 00:10:07.860 --> 00:10:10.080 LAFONDA: She ain't got nothin' worth stealin'! 00:10:10.080 --> 00:10:10.860 DASH: It's true! 00:10:10.860 --> 00:10:12.860 Only pocket lint and a plastic body. 00:10:12.860 --> 00:10:15.400 Without any interesting organs to look at. 00:10:15.400 --> 00:10:17.360 STRANGE MONKEY: Is this the home of the Bat Who Lived? 00:10:17.360 --> 00:10:20.760 DASH: Oh, [Snorts] yeah, that's my stupid dad. 00:10:20.840 --> 00:10:23.100 STRANGE MONKEY: Oh. [Laughs] 00:10:23.560 --> 00:10:26.440 Well, your dad's not home... Is he? 00:10:26.680 --> 00:10:29.540 DASH: No, I'm a big girl and I can watch myself. 00:10:29.540 --> 00:10:31.620 I have been doing it since I was very little, 00:10:31.640 --> 00:10:33.400 and I'm very good at it now. 00:10:33.400 --> 00:10:35.140 STRANGE MONKEY: Now, now, nonsense! 00:10:35.380 --> 00:10:37.160 Daddy's little girl needs a babysitter! 00:10:37.220 --> 00:10:37.720 [Magical pop] 00:10:38.120 --> 00:10:38.620 [Magical pop] 00:10:38.620 --> 00:10:40.520 There we are! Much more comfortable! 00:10:41.060 --> 00:10:42.900 I just thought you might like to hang out! 00:10:42.900 --> 00:10:45.820 And later on maybe we can go for a swim! 00:10:45.880 --> 00:10:47.120 Does that sound like fun? 00:10:47.120 --> 00:10:49.040 DASH: Uh, well, I guess so. 00:10:49.040 --> 00:10:51.340 I-I mean, like, I've never really been swimming. 00:10:51.340 --> 00:10:52.700 Is-Is it very hard to learn? 00:10:52.840 --> 00:10:53.340 STRANGE MONKEY: No! 00:10:53.900 --> 00:10:56.100 I'm going to lower you into the acid! 00:10:56.100 --> 00:10:59.240 DASH: You mean, you're not gonna dissect me? 00:10:59.440 --> 00:11:01.560 Not to give you ideas or anything. 00:11:01.680 --> 00:11:03.480 STRANGE MONKEY: Dissect you? No! 00:11:04.040 --> 00:11:07.980 That's would... No! The acid and dissection are mutually incompatible. 00:11:07.980 --> 00:11:09.380 DASH: Oh! Gosh, wow! 00:11:09.680 --> 00:11:13.400 [Laughs] Oh, thank goodness! Geez! 00:11:13.400 --> 00:11:15.300 See, I was really worried there! 00:11:15.300 --> 00:11:17.860 Oh man, so, so, like you wanna hang out or something? 00:11:17.860 --> 00:11:19.820 I really like 20 questions. Are you ready? 00:11:19.820 --> 00:11:22.780 Ok, I'm thinking of a thing. Ok, now ask me a question. 00:11:22.860 --> 00:11:24.500 STRANGE MONKEY: You don't get out much, do you? 00:11:24.500 --> 00:11:25.400 DASH: Oh, nah. 00:11:25.760 --> 00:11:29.120 See I can't really go out on account of I'm a pony 00:11:29.120 --> 00:11:31.640 an-and different and stuff here. 00:11:31.640 --> 00:11:36.040 So, I think society just say they sort of want to cut me open and look inside of me. 00:11:36.040 --> 00:11:36.800 I-I guess. 00:11:36.940 --> 00:11:37.440 STRANGE MONKEY: Really? 00:11:37.600 --> 00:11:41.120 DASH: Yeah, I figure it's like, have you ever tried to look really far down your throat in the mirror? 00:11:41.120 --> 00:11:44.620 STRANGE MONKEY: You know, I have the exact same problem with society! 00:11:44.620 --> 00:11:47.240 It's always trying to cross examine my actions! 00:11:47.240 --> 00:11:49.840 Monkeys are always asking why I don't have a nose, 00:11:49.960 --> 00:11:53.640 and why I sharpen my teeth, and how come I wear clown makeup, 00:11:53.640 --> 00:11:55.300 but this is the face of fear! 00:11:56.020 --> 00:11:57.640 DASH: I have the face of Rainbow Dash! 00:11:57.640 --> 00:12:00.040 STRANGE MONKEY: Well, it's nice to meet you Rainbow Dash. 00:12:00.040 --> 00:12:02.440 My name... is the Jokermort! 00:12:02.460 --> 00:12:04.860 DASH: So society wants to dissect you too, huh? 00:12:05.400 --> 00:12:07.980 You know, nobody ever wants to dissect LaFonda. 00:12:08.220 --> 00:12:10.000 She doesn't understand. 00:12:10.440 --> 00:12:14.780 JOKERMORT: I know! It's so hard to find someone who truly relates to you. 00:12:14.780 --> 00:12:15.360 DASH: Yeah. 00:12:16.140 --> 00:12:20.520 So, hey, do you maybe want to go play a game, or do something fun? 00:12:20.520 --> 00:12:22.080 JOKERMORT: Actually, you know, 00:12:22.080 --> 00:12:25.440 I think there's supposed to be a great karaoke bar a few blocks from here. 00:12:25.440 --> 00:12:26.620 Would you like to go? 00:12:26.620 --> 00:12:28.560 DASH: Oh my gosh, I would love kuroky! 00:12:28.560 --> 00:12:30.280 I don't even care what it is! 00:12:31.880 --> 00:12:33.920 HARRY: Dash? Dash?! Where are you?! 00:12:34.080 --> 00:12:37.300 Do-don't hide, I have a sugar cube! Come out! 00:12:39.340 --> 00:12:39.860 [Doorbell rings] 00:12:40.360 --> 00:12:43.600 Excuse me, ok, this is going to sound crazy, 00:12:43.600 --> 00:12:47.040 but have you seen a bright blue winged pony around here, 00:12:47.040 --> 00:12:48.900 maybe mowing lawns for cookies? 00:12:49.340 --> 00:12:51.040 You can tell me, don't hide her from me, 00:12:51.040 --> 00:12:51.980 she'll kill your lawn. 00:12:51.980 --> 00:12:55.260 LADY MONKEY: *Excuse* me, have we met before? 00:12:55.260 --> 00:12:58.920 Because my name is Boudica Stephanie Cadillac Washington, 00:12:58.920 --> 00:13:02.820 and my little girl LaFonda is always talking about a little blue pony. 00:13:02.820 --> 00:13:04.380 Has you been talking to her? 00:13:04.940 --> 00:13:06.580 Or more importantly has she been talkin' with you? 00:13:06.580 --> 00:13:08.980 Because she ain't supposed to be talkin' to no strangers. 00:13:08.980 --> 00:13:11.800 HARRY: What? No, no, I don't know who that is! 00:13:11.800 --> 00:13:13.680 I'm looking for a bright blue pony. 00:13:13.680 --> 00:13:16.340 *Bright blue*, you can't miss her. 00:13:16.340 --> 00:13:18.000 She might choke on something if I don't find her. 00:13:18.000 --> 00:13:20.480 BOUDICA: Uh, you ain't answer my question. 00:13:20.480 --> 00:13:23.320 I asked you if my daughter done talked to you! 00:13:23.320 --> 00:13:24.920 HARRY: I haven't talked to your daughter! 00:13:24.920 --> 00:13:27.060 Have you seen a magic pony? 00:13:27.360 --> 00:13:29.960 BOUDICA: Well... maybe I seen a pony. 00:13:29.960 --> 00:13:32.420 what are you gonna do if I seen a pony? 00:13:32.420 --> 00:13:35.760 You gonna come back to my place an' search my room? 00:13:35.760 --> 00:13:37.080 HARRY:I... What? 00:13:37.080 --> 00:13:41.780 BOUDICA: 'Cause I've had a few stallions in my bedroom, my little tenderoni. 00:13:42.320 --> 00:13:43.980 You like curvy women? 00:13:43.980 --> 00:13:47.840 HARRY: Th-This-This conversation has taken a turn I was not prepared for. 00:13:47.840 --> 00:13:50.800 LAFONDA: Mama, did that man just say he's looking for his magic pony? 00:13:50.820 --> 00:13:51.380 HARRY: Yes! 00:13:51.380 --> 00:13:53.140 BOUDICA: LaFonda, ain't you got somewhere to be? 00:13:53.140 --> 00:13:55.480 Mama looking for her "stallion". 00:13:55.500 --> 00:13:57.540 LAFONDA: But, Mama! That monkey's a bat-wizard! 00:13:57.560 --> 00:13:59.300 BOUDICA: Well, it sound like he make a lot of money! 00:13:59.380 --> 00:14:00.300 HARRY: No, not really. 00:14:00.440 --> 00:14:02.340 Where did you see *the magic pony*? 00:14:02.640 --> 00:14:03.880 LAFONDA: In your backyard. 00:14:04.860 --> 00:14:08.060 She went off with some monkey in clown makeup in a graduation dress. 00:14:08.060 --> 00:14:09.040 HARRY: Oh No! 00:14:09.040 --> 00:14:13.340 BOUDICA: Um, somebody better explain this magic pony thing to me. 00:14:13.340 --> 00:14:14.640 LaFonda, is you buying drugs? 00:14:14.820 --> 00:14:16.780 Is this a drug deal right under my nose? 00:14:16.800 --> 00:14:18.540 'Cause it sound like Puff the Magic Dragon. 00:14:18.540 --> 00:14:19.520 HARRY: I have to go. 00:14:19.860 --> 00:14:21.160 [Traffic noise] 00:14:22.300 --> 00:14:25.200 DASH: S'ok, I'm just supposed to sing what's written on the screen? 00:14:25.400 --> 00:14:27.200 JOKERMORT: Yes dear, it's very fun! 00:14:27.620 --> 00:14:30.900 And when you finish the audience will applaud you! [Laughs maniacally] 00:14:30.900 --> 00:14:31.980 DASH: Ok, that's cool. 00:14:31.980 --> 00:14:34.020 I'm not very fast at reading though, 00:14:34.020 --> 00:14:36.340 y'know, I really like to read but all I have are phone books. 00:14:36.600 --> 00:14:37.460 JOKERMORT: That's alright sweetheart, 00:14:37.620 --> 00:14:41.540 we'll do a duet. Start again and you just follow my lead. 00:14:41.600 --> 00:14:42.100 DASH: Ok. 00:14:42.460 --> 00:14:43.000 JOKERMORT: Ready? 00:14:43.800 --> 00:14:45.920 [Singing] I think that you're rather unique, 00:14:45.920 --> 00:14:47.960 perhaps you're something new, 00:14:47.960 --> 00:14:49.920 and if you'd like to oblige, 00:14:49.920 --> 00:14:51.780 I'd like to get to know you. 00:14:51.780 --> 00:14:53.820 DASH: You seem fundamentally fun, 00:14:53.820 --> 00:14:55.960 I feel like being your friend. 00:14:55.960 --> 00:14:57.880 Let's see the big city sights, 00:14:57.880 --> 00:14:59.800 and find how well we blend. 00:14:59.800 --> 00:15:01.900 JOKERMORT: I hope you won't mind if I say, 00:15:01.900 --> 00:15:04.000 I'm smitten by your smile. 00:15:04.000 --> 00:15:06.080 I hope you like all my jokes, 00:15:06.080 --> 00:15:08.080 and that you'll stay for a while. 00:15:08.080 --> 00:15:09.920 DASH: I'll gab that your humor is grand, 00:15:09.920 --> 00:15:11.980 at least what I understand. 00:15:11.980 --> 00:15:14.100 It seems your passion rubs off, 00:15:14.100 --> 00:15:16.060 it's better than I planned. 00:15:16.060 --> 00:15:18.000 JOKERMORT: It's the start of something too great, 00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:20.160 it's really much too profound. 00:15:20.160 --> 00:15:21.940 I'm glad we ventured a chance, 00:15:21.940 --> 00:15:24.000 It's frankly hard to expound. 00:15:24.000 --> 00:15:26.040 DASH: Do you think we both have a chance? 00:15:26.040 --> 00:15:28.020 Can we even get by? 00:15:28.020 --> 00:15:29.860 I know the odds are against. 00:15:29.860 --> 00:15:31.960 JOKERMORT: We'll make it if we try! 00:15:31.960 --> 00:15:33.840 You've hair soft as feathery down, 00:15:33.840 --> 00:15:35.980 wide eyes to look into. 00:15:35.980 --> 00:15:37.900 Such trust and vigor for life! 00:15:37.900 --> 00:15:40.080 DASH: I am your pony waifu! 00:15:40.080 --> 00:15:41.800 JOKERMORT: That makes my poor heart burst with glee! 00:15:41.800 --> 00:15:43.900 please promise that it's true! 00:15:43.900 --> 00:15:46.020 That you would deign to choose me! 00:15:46.020 --> 00:15:47.840 DASH: I am your pony waifu! 00:15:48.300 --> 00:15:50.000 JOKERMORT: [Speaking] Dash, I have to admit, 00:15:50.000 --> 00:15:52.900 I've never felt this way about another living creature before. 00:15:53.480 --> 00:15:55.700 I want you to know that, even though you're a horse, 00:15:55.700 --> 00:15:59.100 you fill something inside me that I never realized was missing. 00:15:59.100 --> 00:16:00.840 DASH: Wow, that's amazing. 00:16:00.840 --> 00:16:02.780 I mean the whole thing, 00:16:02.790 --> 00:16:04.350 I've never been out of my house, 00:16:04.350 --> 00:16:07.120 and you're like, only the third monkey I've ever talked to. 00:16:07.120 --> 00:16:11.100 I just- I don't know, I always feel anxious and unhappy, 00:16:11.100 --> 00:16:14.940 but out here in the fresh air I feel like things are pretty neat. 00:16:14.940 --> 00:16:18.820 JOKERMORT: Well, I hope you realize it's just the start of an awesome night! 00:16:19.520 --> 00:16:22.170 [Singing] Profess to me your foolhardy dreams, 00:16:22.170 --> 00:16:24.120 the things you find you're fond of. 00:16:24.120 --> 00:16:26.000 Tell me your every wish, 00:16:26.000 --> 00:16:28.140 I think that I'm in love. 00:16:28.140 --> 00:16:30.020 DASH: You know that I love you too! 00:16:30.020 --> 00:16:32.120 You feed me sugar cubes, 00:16:32.120 --> 00:16:34.140 can't say what more could I want, 00:16:34.140 --> 00:16:36.060 I am your pony waifu! 00:16:36.060 --> 00:16:37.760 JOKERMORT: I'll be there for you every night! 00:16:37.760 --> 00:16:40.120 DASH: And I will be there too! 00:16:40.120 --> 00:16:42.240 You are my very best friend, 00:16:42.240 --> 00:16:43.940 and I'm your pony waifu. 00:16:43.940 --> 00:16:46.040 JOKERMORT: Dear, you are the light of my life! 00:16:46.040 --> 00:16:48.000 DASH: I know that we'll get through! 00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:49.800 JOKERMORT: You're everything that I need! 00:16:49.800 --> 00:16:51.840 DASH: I am your pony waifu! 00:16:51.840 --> 00:16:54.000 JOKERMORT: I predict a future for us. 00:16:54.000 --> 00:16:56.140 DASH: We're gonna make it shine! 00:16:56.140 --> 00:16:58.160 JOKERMORT: Because I know that I'm yours... 00:16:58.160 --> 00:17:00.040 DASH: ...and I know you're mine! 00:17:01.100 --> 00:17:03.760 JOKERMORT: [Speaking] I predict big things for us both, Rainbow Dash. 00:17:04.420 --> 00:17:07.820 Between you and I, whatever else happens doesn't matter. 00:17:07.820 --> 00:17:09.060 We'll have each other. 00:17:09.060 --> 00:17:10.180 DASH: That's pretty cool. 00:17:10.180 --> 00:17:12.500 I mean, my dad says that all the time, 00:17:12.500 --> 00:17:14.640 but coming from someone who's *not* my dad... 00:17:15.240 --> 00:17:17.300 ...it just makes me feel really special. 00:17:17.520 --> 00:17:19.800 [Explosion, fireworks] 00:17:19.920 --> 00:17:21.920 JOKERMORT: You know, I've always hated your father. 00:17:22.180 --> 00:17:24.520 DASH: I know. My dad sucks. 00:17:36.140 --> 00:17:36.740 [Door slams] 00:17:37.820 --> 00:17:38.320 [Lights clunk on] 00:17:39.140 --> 00:17:39.700 JOKERMORT: Oh. 00:17:39.960 --> 00:17:41.620 HARRY: Where have you two been? 00:17:42.280 --> 00:17:43.500 JOKERMORT: Oh, you- you see... 00:17:43.720 --> 00:17:44.920 ...we were here. 00:17:45.240 --> 00:17:46.600 HARRY: When I arrived at a kidnapping scene, 00:17:46.820 --> 00:17:48.840 I expect to see a victim, 00:17:48.840 --> 00:17:49.960 the villain, 00:17:49.960 --> 00:17:52.280 and a vat of boiling acid. 00:17:52.880 --> 00:17:54.960 But look at this. What is this? 00:17:55.460 --> 00:17:58.040 This acid isn't even lukewarm. 00:17:58.040 --> 00:18:00.080 It's *room temperature*. 00:18:00.320 --> 00:18:01.420 JOKERMORT: Are you sure? 00:18:01.860 --> 00:18:03.960 I thought I set the vat to a simmer. 00:18:03.960 --> 00:18:08.080 HARRY: you turned it off, and not even so much as a ransom note. 00:18:08.080 --> 00:18:11.380 And you young lady, what are you doing dressed like, 00:18:11.480 --> 00:18:12.340 like that! 00:18:12.540 --> 00:18:13.800 DASH: Why I thought, um... 00:18:14.420 --> 00:18:16.580 yeah, w-we got, um... 00:18:16.860 --> 00:18:19.500 I had some wheat beer, that was pretty cool. 00:18:19.500 --> 00:18:21.580 HARRY: Oh, well that's a relief. 00:18:21.800 --> 00:18:23.940 You're not allowed to have *beer*! 00:18:24.100 --> 00:18:24.600 DASH: Why? 00:18:24.800 --> 00:18:26.220 HARRY: We're going home! 00:18:26.640 --> 00:18:28.880 You are a *bad villain*, 00:18:29.240 --> 00:18:31.520 you should be *ashamed*. 00:18:31.860 --> 00:18:35.900 You are not allowed to kidnap my daughter *again*. 00:18:36.160 --> 00:18:36.860 [Magical pop] 00:18:37.900 --> 00:18:39.800 What do you mean he's a nice guy? 00:18:39.800 --> 00:18:41.320 Are you insane? 00:18:41.320 --> 00:18:43.420 DASH: No... I don't know. 00:18:43.660 --> 00:18:45.340 But we sang a song together, 00:18:45.340 --> 00:18:47.320 and he didn't dissect me or anything! 00:18:47.320 --> 00:18:49.980 And I don't see what's so wrong about dating the Jokermort, 00:18:49.980 --> 00:18:51.620 because he promised he'd be nice, 00:18:51.620 --> 00:18:53.420 and how come I can never leave the house?! 00:18:53.420 --> 00:18:55.300 I didn't get dissected all day! 00:18:55.300 --> 00:18:57.000 But you said I would get dissected! 00:18:57.000 --> 00:18:57.760 HARRY: Oh my god, 00:18:57.760 --> 00:18:59.500 I cannot believe what I am hearing! 00:18:59.500 --> 00:19:01.400 I am *The Bat Who Lived* 00:19:01.400 --> 00:19:04.200 *The* *Bat* *Who* *Lived*. 00:19:04.720 --> 00:19:06.620 I know a thing or two about crime, 00:19:06.620 --> 00:19:09.000 and the only reason you didn't get dissected... 00:19:09.000 --> 00:19:11.100 DASH: My god! I hate it here! 00:19:11.100 --> 00:19:13.280 I'm so bored and I don't have any friends, 00:19:13.280 --> 00:19:15.020 and all you do is *hug me*, 00:19:15.020 --> 00:19:17.580 an-an-and *bathe me*, 00:19:17.580 --> 00:19:18.820 and I'm *so lonely*! 00:19:18.820 --> 00:19:20.900 and then I meet someone else, and you... 00:19:20.900 --> 00:19:23.700 HARRY: Dash, you listen to me! I am *your father*! 00:19:23.700 --> 00:19:25.000 DASH: You're not my real dad! 00:19:25.420 --> 00:19:26.940 YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD! 00:19:26.940 --> 00:19:27.920 I'm a rebel! 00:19:27.920 --> 00:19:29.900 I-I don't even need a dad! 00:19:29.940 --> 00:19:31.840 I never want to speak to you again! 00:19:32.260 --> 00:19:32.920 HARRY: [Sighs] 00:19:33.260 --> 00:19:37.300 DASH: [Sobbing] ...a-and then he said I can't see him anymore! 00:19:37.600 --> 00:19:38.640 Can you believe that? 00:19:38.820 --> 00:19:39.880 LAFONDA: Sure can't. 00:19:39.880 --> 00:19:41.160 DASH: I know, right?! 00:19:41.160 --> 00:19:43.840 LAFONDA: So, what's so great about this new man o'yours anyway? 00:19:43.960 --> 00:19:47.660 DASH: [Sniffs] Oh, w-well, he likes to laugh a lot, 00:19:47.660 --> 00:19:50.060 a-and and, and he's a total rebel, 00:19:50.060 --> 00:19:52.200 so he doesn't play by the rules, 00:19:52.200 --> 00:19:55.480 a-and, um, he's really different than everyone else, 00:19:55.480 --> 00:19:57.100 so we have a lot in common. 00:19:57.360 --> 00:19:58.940 LAFONDA: Well, he sure sounds great. 00:19:59.100 --> 00:19:59.940 DASH: I know, 00:20:00.680 --> 00:20:01.260 [sniffs] um, 00:20:01.400 --> 00:20:03.820 but I-I was just wondering actually, um, 00:20:04.580 --> 00:20:08.040 is it, is it normal for a boyfriend to kill other monkeys? 00:20:08.180 --> 00:20:09.080 LAFONDA: Oh, pfft, 00:20:09.140 --> 00:20:10.420 that's just what men do, girl. 00:20:10.820 --> 00:20:13.220 They always killin' folks that be disrespecting them. 00:20:13.340 --> 00:20:14.980 I told you about my man David, right? 00:20:14.980 --> 00:20:15.480 DASH: Yeah. 00:20:15.480 --> 00:20:18.520 LAFONDA: So he killed some fool last week for making fun of the rims on his car. 00:20:18.520 --> 00:20:20.980 They're all like: "oh hey, nice rim job!" 00:20:20.980 --> 00:20:22.120 And David shot him. 00:20:22.160 --> 00:20:22.660 DASH: Wow. 00:20:22.780 --> 00:20:24.600 LAFONDA: Or at least, that's what he said he did anyway. 00:20:24.600 --> 00:20:26.260 DASH: Ok, phew. 00:20:26.400 --> 00:20:28.400 See I was really worried it wasn't normal, 00:20:28.400 --> 00:20:30.460 but I wasn't gonna say anything 'cause I didn't know for sure. 00:20:30.460 --> 00:20:32.660 So I guess if other boyfriends do it then it's okay, 00:20:32.660 --> 00:20:33.960 and I won't bother him about it. 00:20:33.960 --> 00:20:35.900 I feel so much better knowing that. 00:20:36.160 --> 00:20:37.040 [Doorbell chimes] 00:20:39.620 --> 00:20:40.220 HARRY: You! 00:20:40.320 --> 00:20:41.860 JOKERMORT: No, no! Don't get angry! 00:20:42.020 --> 00:20:43.360 I'm here to make amends. 00:20:43.520 --> 00:20:45.100 HARRY: I think you've done enough! 00:20:45.460 --> 00:20:49.360 Not only did you involve Dash in a horrible crime spree across the city, 00:20:49.560 --> 00:20:51.700 but now she's under the insane assumption 00:20:51.720 --> 00:20:54.740 that the government doesn't *want* to cut her into pieces! 00:20:55.020 --> 00:20:57.060 JOKERMORT: Ok, now, just hear me out. 00:20:57.440 --> 00:20:58.540 What if they don't? 00:20:59.120 --> 00:21:01.580 What if all this isolation from society, 00:21:01.580 --> 00:21:04.940 and keeping her entirely to yourself was unnecessary? 00:21:05.400 --> 00:21:07.980 HARRY: Are you implying she'd be better off with researchers? 00:21:07.980 --> 00:21:10.240 JOKERMORT: Maybe just someone who knows about horses. 00:21:10.640 --> 00:21:12.160 Or someone with money. 00:21:12.340 --> 00:21:16.340 Or even someone not traumatized by the neurosis by the death of his parents. 00:21:18.160 --> 00:21:19.940 HARRY: I'm the *Bat Who Lived*. 00:21:20.040 --> 00:21:20.860 DASH: The Jokermort? 00:21:21.260 --> 00:21:23.260 Dad, you *cannot* drive him away! 00:21:23.320 --> 00:21:24.860 Can't you see that I'm in love! 00:21:24.900 --> 00:21:28.220 JOKERMORT: Oh Dash! Love is why I came here! 00:21:28.600 --> 00:21:31.900 You see I've just built a time activated device! 00:21:32.300 --> 00:21:36.220 Very soon now it'll turn the entire world into ponies! 00:21:36.220 --> 00:21:39.640 Finally making you normal and allowing us to live together! 00:21:39.640 --> 00:21:41.800 DASH: Oh my gosh! Seriously?! 00:21:42.680 --> 00:21:44.200 That's so romantic! 00:21:44.200 --> 00:21:44.700 HARRY: What? 00:21:45.060 --> 00:21:47.000 BOUDICA: Excuse me, but the door was open, 00:21:47.000 --> 00:21:49.680 so I figured that y'all must be home or robbed. 00:21:49.860 --> 00:21:50.740 Y'all got a second? 00:21:50.860 --> 00:21:52.080 HARRY: Kinda busy here. 00:21:52.100 --> 00:21:52.600 JOKERMORT: Yes! 00:21:52.920 --> 00:21:55.280 Can't you see we're discussing true love? 00:21:55.360 --> 00:21:55.860 BOUDICA: Oh... 00:21:56.400 --> 00:21:58.000 So there *was* a magical pony. 00:21:58.000 --> 00:21:58.640 DASH: Hello. 00:21:58.740 --> 00:22:00.460 BOUDICA: Well I'll be a monkey's mama. 00:22:00.780 --> 00:22:01.920 Hey, LaFonda! 00:22:02.020 --> 00:22:03.200 LAFONDA: What mama? 00:22:03.260 --> 00:22:06.960 BOUDICA: How come you didn't tell me you weren't crazy, or buying drugs? 00:22:07.060 --> 00:22:09.380 LAFONDA: I try and tell you mama, but you ain't listen! 00:22:09.520 --> 00:22:11.660 BOUDICA: Well I guess I owe y'all an apology. 00:22:11.940 --> 00:22:14.920 Here... I baked y'all a pie! 00:22:15.420 --> 00:22:16.940 [Magical pop] 00:22:17.120 --> 00:22:18.900 Oh dear baby Jesus! 00:22:18.900 --> 00:22:20.160 Now there's more of 'em! 00:22:20.160 --> 00:22:23.060 You got magic ponies just coming out the yin-yang! 00:22:23.060 --> 00:22:25.560 Is that like a bill you gotta pay for the city? 00:22:25.560 --> 00:22:27.220 Or is that like a leak or somethin'? 00:22:27.220 --> 00:22:28.800 APPLEJACK: Y'see? I told ya! 00:22:28.800 --> 00:22:30.659 It took five minutes for you to figure out 00:22:30.660 --> 00:22:32.860 we could track down one element of harmony with the other five, 00:22:32.860 --> 00:22:34.860 but it took two weeks to convince you 00:22:34.860 --> 00:22:36.480 that Fluttershy was the element of kindness! 00:22:36.480 --> 00:22:37.220 TWILIGHT: Yeah, well, 00:22:37.220 --> 00:22:38.560 what's kind about her? 00:22:38.560 --> 00:22:41.480 FLUTTERSHY: Well I'm not really much of anything noteworthy, 00:22:41.480 --> 00:22:44.240 but I take care of a lot of animals and I guess... 00:22:44.240 --> 00:22:45.340 TWILIGHT: It was rhetorical! 00:22:45.340 --> 00:22:46.260 DASH: Oh my gosh! 00:22:46.260 --> 00:22:48.340 I always knew I was a princess from another dimension, 00:22:48.340 --> 00:22:50.560 and one day my knights would find me! 00:22:50.920 --> 00:22:53.400 PINKIE: [Laughs hysterically] 00:22:53.680 --> 00:22:54.260 TWILIGHT: What? 00:22:54.340 --> 00:22:55.920 RARITY: You got faaaat. 00:22:56.160 --> 00:22:57.840 What have you been eating, oatmeal? 00:22:57.980 --> 00:23:00.380 PINKIE: [Laughs] Look with your tiny brains! 00:23:00.380 --> 00:23:02.480 She has lost her memories! Yes. 00:23:02.480 --> 00:23:03.100 APPLEJACK: Again?! 00:23:03.240 --> 00:23:05.040 TWILIGHT: [Sighs] Dash, do you know who we are? 00:23:05.260 --> 00:23:05.760 DASH: No. 00:23:05.760 --> 00:23:06.260 [Ponies groan] 00:23:06.260 --> 00:23:07.500 RARITY: This is like the seventh time! 00:23:07.520 --> 00:23:08.540 The *seventh time*! 00:23:08.540 --> 00:23:09.880 TWILIGHT: Ok, I don't even care. 00:23:09.880 --> 00:23:11.040 Let's just go home. 00:23:11.040 --> 00:23:11.840 HARRY: No, no! 00:23:11.840 --> 00:23:13.600 You can't take Dash away from me! 00:23:13.600 --> 00:23:15.980 I need, I-I mean, she needs me! 00:23:16.320 --> 00:23:17.420 She'll be all alone! 00:23:17.520 --> 00:23:20.100 BOUDICA: No baby, you ain't gonna be alone. 00:23:20.340 --> 00:23:22.220 Boudica gonna be *right here* for ya. 00:23:22.220 --> 00:23:23.480 HARRY: B-B-Boudica?! 00:23:23.480 --> 00:23:24.480 BOUDICA: That's right baby, 00:23:24.480 --> 00:23:25.780 you just come to me, 00:23:25.780 --> 00:23:28.840 and I'll make all your problems *go away*. 00:23:28.960 --> 00:23:30.180 HARRY: I-I don't have any money... 00:23:30.400 --> 00:23:33.320 BOUDICA: Uh, wha-! You think I'm some kind of prostitute or something?! 00:23:34.300 --> 00:23:35.400 It's okay. 00:23:35.760 --> 00:23:36.860 *You* gonna make some money. 00:23:37.420 --> 00:23:38.100 It's alright. 00:23:38.260 --> 00:23:41.080 You ponies, uh, just take your little friend and go ahead. 00:23:41.220 --> 00:23:43.800 I'll take care of my little tenderoni here. 00:23:44.000 --> 00:23:44.780 RARITY: Gross... 00:23:44.840 --> 00:23:46.240 TWILIGHT: We didn't need your permission, 00:23:46.240 --> 00:23:47.360 but thank you. 00:23:47.640 --> 00:23:48.540 [Magical zap] 00:23:49.220 --> 00:23:50.900 Come on Rainbow Dash. 00:23:52.340 --> 00:23:55.680 [Magical wooshing] 00:23:55.780 --> 00:23:57.940 [Ticking] 00:23:57.940 --> 00:23:58.440 [Timer dings] 00:23:58.600 --> 00:23:59.580 [Distant explosion, wooshing] 00:23:59.660 --> 00:24:07.560 [Magical zap, warning siren sounds] 00:24:07.560 --> 00:24:08.200 [Crash] 00:24:08.380 --> 00:24:09.820 NARRATOR: So Rainbow Dash went home, 00:24:09.820 --> 00:24:11.660 leaving behind her adoptive friends and family 00:24:11.660 --> 00:24:14.580 without really a word of exposition or logical explanation, 00:24:14.580 --> 00:24:15.940 which is probably for the best, 00:24:15.940 --> 00:24:18.940 because she never really did totally understand what the other ponies were talking about, 00:24:18.940 --> 00:24:20.600 but Twilight said "lesson learned", 00:24:20.600 --> 00:24:22.020 so it probably won't happen again. 00:24:22.020 --> 00:24:24.680 The Jokermort, though at first not sure what to do without any thumbs, 00:24:24.680 --> 00:24:27.180 eventually adapted and used his magic powers and mad genius 00:24:27.180 --> 00:24:30.140 to build an army of lifelike RoboDash girlfriend servants, 00:24:30.140 --> 00:24:33.100 although later on he tragically died of heavy-metal poisoning. 00:24:33.100 --> 00:24:35.700 Under the *very* strict supervision of Ms. Boudica, 00:24:35.700 --> 00:24:37.740 my adoptive dad Harry eventually came to terms with the fact 00:24:37.740 --> 00:24:40.180 that it wasn't really organized crime that killed his parents. 00:24:40.180 --> 00:24:42.900 It was actually a girl monkey who was really sick, 00:24:42.900 --> 00:24:44.440 and Harry's dad spent the night with her, 00:24:44.440 --> 00:24:45.660 and then he got really sick, 00:24:45.660 --> 00:24:47.180 and he didn't want to tell anyone though, 00:24:47.180 --> 00:24:49.280 because he thought he would get in trouble for some reason, 00:24:49.280 --> 00:24:50.500 and so he came home, 00:24:50.500 --> 00:24:52.000 and then Harry's mom got really sick too. 00:24:52.000 --> 00:24:54.260 But for some reason Harry didn't get sick... 00:24:54.260 --> 00:24:55.470 But anyway though, 00:24:55.470 --> 00:24:57.500 from then forward Harry became a guidance counselor, 00:24:57.500 --> 00:24:59.140 and he travelled around the inner city 00:24:59.140 --> 00:25:02.080 giving lectures on the importance of disease awareness and stuff to kids. 00:25:02.080 --> 00:25:05.020 LaFonda got accepted into banana college on a banana scholarship, 00:25:05.020 --> 00:25:06.700 where she got a banana degree in dentistry. 00:25:06.700 --> 00:25:08.780 She developed a special device for brushing teeth 00:25:08.780 --> 00:25:09.940 without the aid of hands, 00:25:09.940 --> 00:25:12.920 thanks in part to the insight of Dash complaining for hours about it, 00:25:12.920 --> 00:25:15.020 and she made millions in banana dollars. 00:25:15.020 --> 00:25:18.420 And finally, Rainbow Dash, best pony in two-dimensions now, 00:25:18.420 --> 00:25:19.800 did her best to lose all that weight 00:25:19.800 --> 00:25:21.540 and earn her cutie mark back in her home world. 00:25:21.540 --> 00:25:25.060 And while she did eventually find out that the thing she was best at was racing, 00:25:25.060 --> 00:25:27.500 Dash never did figure out good dieting, 00:25:27.520 --> 00:25:30.940 so she was pretty much ruined for life because she could never get light enough to fly, 00:25:30.940 --> 00:25:33.000 and she hated healthy pony food anyway. 00:25:33.000 --> 00:25:34.440 So, yeah... 00:25:34.440 --> 00:25:37.060 all that bad parenting did not really do Dash a whole lot of favours. 00:25:37.300 --> 00:25:39.940 Still, Dash totally made, like, a zillion pony friends, 00:25:39.940 --> 00:25:42.020 which is pretty much infinity better than one friend 00:25:42.020 --> 00:25:43.400 who isn't even the same species, 00:25:43.400 --> 00:25:45.680 and otherwise she did ok, so... 00:25:45.880 --> 00:25:46.620 The End! 00:26:34.920 --> 00:26:37.340 DASH: Oh my gosh, I am *so fat*. 00:26:37.380 --> 00:26:39.860 I'm like one of those rappers girlfriends or something. 00:26:39.920 --> 00:26:41.800 JOKERMORT: Aw, Rainbow Dash, don't worry about it! 00:26:41.800 --> 00:26:43.440 You're a bit extra chubby. 00:26:43.440 --> 00:26:46.380 You're beautiful girl, and just to let you know... 00:26:47.360 --> 00:26:50.220 [SInging] I like big butts and I cannot lie! 00:26:50.220 --> 00:26:51.980 You other ponies can't deny! 00:26:51.980 --> 00:26:54.020 That when a mare walks in with an itty-bitty waist, 00:26:54.020 --> 00:26:55.380 and a round thing in your face, 00:26:55.380 --> 00:26:56.800 You get sprung! 00:26:58.260 --> 00:27:00.140 DASH: You see, this is why you're my boyfriend. 00:27:15.880 --> 00:27:16.520 [Low boom] 00:27:16.860 --> 00:27:18.140 [Reel whirs] 00:27:18.660 --> 00:27:21.500 [Engine starts, tires squeal]