Rainbow Dash Presents: The Star in Yellow!
Twilight Sparkle is a big fan of reading books. She reads lots of books to get real smart.
But, lots of times she needs help from Spike, her number one assistant.
Because it's really hard to read and cook breakfast at the same time without setting your house on fire.
Especially when you live in a tree!
Spike also sometimes helps out with research,
and Twilight needs a special book for super important studies on friendship and magic;
Spike goes to faraway places, and using his thumbs and his mastery of the Dewey decimal system;
he checks things out with his library card and only occasionally starts a fire!
I don't suppose you know where to find the Star Journal?
Oh, they're just a bunch of grubby arseholes.
Still looking for the Star Journal.
[whispers]
That'll do it.
[rattles]
[more rattling]
[HARD RATTLING]
[growl]
It's okay, I got the uh... special library card!
The door's just a bit stuck here.
[growl]
[chain rattling]
[burp]
[children laughing]
[birds chirping]
[train horn]
If yer gonna send me on long errands to fetch yer books;
the least you could do is meet me at the station?
Ehhh, the walkin's good for you.
WELL, I went within an inch of hell to get you yer books,
and I got a lot of awkward stares on the train back, because of the ones with the pony screamin faces
stretched over the cover!
What is this?
That's the Star Journal, last on the list here.
Or, did you not notice the giant star?
Hardest one to find.
It's called the Star Journal because of the authors.
It shouldn't have a giant star on it!
Look at this!
This... does this look like arcane history to you?
Oh, well sorry I went all the way out to Canterlot and didn't find the book you were looking for!
Paid for that trip with my own allowance too!
I guess you're gonna have to dock me dinner.
What was it that I was gonna eat tonight?
Oh yeah, a scoop a cat food!
You know, Fluttershy's pets get to eat whatever they want.
It looks really old!
It looks like idiocy!
Just because it looks really old and it has a star on it
doesn't mean it's the right book. And I will have you know that
cat food is full of essential vitamins and minerals, and it's a lot more expensive than you think it is.
So...suck it up!
It's good for you. It's like broccoli.
It's like if broccoli and the devil had a child.
[sputtering] Hi Twilight, Hi Spike!
Oh my gosh! That is a lot of books; you'll read a lot of books.
Oh good. Hello.
Of course I've got a lot of books.
I have to read so I'll be prepared in case I ever realize my full potential.
You know, rising to the top of the food chain and finally ruling over Ponyville.
Cool!
Oh, that's gonna super suck though, Ponyville doesn't really need a queen, we're super small.
Anyway, this is my autobiography!
I wrote it myself.
That's. what. autobiography means, Dash.
Yeah, becuase it's auto, like ah...
d- a dishwasher or-or something...
Anyway- You read a lot of books, so I was wondering, would you proofread this please?
I-
a-
Are you dyslexic?
Oh my gosh. I hope not.
They cancelled my health insurance, so that would not be good.
You're- randomly writing words...
Looks like upside down? and backwards sometimes?-
This isn't even dyslexia.
How do you make mistakes like this?
I'm self-taught, so I might have picked up a few bad habits, but just write all that down in red ink,
I'm gonna go practice doing flips!
It's kind of cute. Where'd you find this?
I found it in the library, for dangerous books. all wrapped up in chains and behind a locked case.
Had to break the case open, got stuck, but these arms, dragon arms...
This?
Uhh, must have been... misfiled.
Twilight's new book was about a little girl named Yellow Star.
Yellow Star was a super duper cute little pony who had lots of magical power.
Since all the pictures were really clumsy, Twilight figured
they must have been drawn by a real little girl a long time ago.
There weren't words on every page,
but lots of times it was easy to tell what was going on.
Before Yellow Star was born, her mom went up into the sky at night.
She plucked out the two prettiest stars that she could see
and she brought them back to her home.
Those two stars turned into babies!
The first one was Yellow Star,
The other one was her little sister named Silver Crescent.
They were both the prettiest smartest little fillies ever,
but smartest of all, was Yellow Star!
Twilight, Twilight, hey Twilight!
Twiiiilight!
What?
I'm reading.
Aww...
Did a bunch of tricks and you didn't even see...
All you did was read that book.
And it wasn't even my book.
Your book is the literary equivalent of a flaccid cock.
Nuh-uh, it's super exciting. It's all about my adventures and stuff.
Twilight, are you trying to get known as the girl who compares dicks to books?
All right, let's look, "And then I used...
"My rainbow eye lasers to..."
"To k- to kill Billy from gym class..."
"After that he....he..."
"Ra- report- he didn't report me, but I left the academy."
"Anyway because school is for squares."
This is me flipping to a random page.
None of this is true, and THIS paragraph is written in what I can only hope is
chocolate syrup.
You don't know; you have laser horn.
Maybe the Elements of Harmony gave me laser eyes- when I was a kid.
Maybe the Elements of Harmony gave you a brain tumor.
It's clearly arrogant self-fellatio, and I am not invested.
See, there you go again; you combine books on the male anatomy.
It's got to stop Twilight.
Please Twilight, please just write all that down in red ink
so I can get better.
No.
It's about as appealing as a dick in a wood chipper.
All right now, yer just doing it on purpose.
Just proofread please, please?
Fine.
I'll get to it when I get to it, but at EARLIEST it's gonna be after I finish THIS book.
I make dinner, you don't eat it. You do eat it, you're mad because it's not perfect.
I'd say don't come cryin' to me at midnight when you're hungry, but I know how this works.
If you need me, I'm gonna be over here with my bowl of dry cat food.
You know, on second thought, I'm gonna add milk! and marshmallows!
You can't stop me
Eh...
Yellow Star solved a lot of problems,
and everybody loved her.
Like one time, a giant snake monster came to town and forced the ponies
to dance, but Yellow Star did a better dance that turned the monster into stone!
Silver Crescent wasn't this good.
Silver Crescent was a dumb color.
Yellow Star was best pony; she never got into trouble like Silver Crescent.
Silver Crescent got angry, and she got into fights.
But, Yellow Star would talk to everyone make everything good again.
She was always right, and other ponies trusted her.
Twilight just kept on reading adventure after adventure.
Yellow Star proved that she was best pony.
She outsmarted sphinxes,
she did better magic than a jinn,
and she was prettier than a siren!
Silver Crescent was good too, but dumber.
And she always got messed up because she wasn't the best pony.
Then one day, Silver Crescent got in a really bad fight with the other ponies.
Silver Crescent had a bad dream that those ponies were mean to her.
So she shouted at them,
and then there was kicking, and pretty soon Silver Crescent got all messy from all the rolling around and fighting.
When she came home, Mom had to give Silver Crescent a bath.
She wasn't very careful.
Ow! What was that for?
I'm old enough to take my own baths okay?
Thank you!
Where's breakfast?
I'm angry! And yer' oatmeal's on the table.
I added marshmallows, turns out it's pretty good.
Oh, it's you.
I wasn't expecting company.
Hang on, let me get you breakfast.
Are you enjoying my book?
Yeah... it's cute.
Keep reading!
Tell me what you think!
Okay. let me just get some breakfast first. What do you want to eat?
Well, I mean, or you could you know,
You could read one more chapter.
Yeah.
Sure, okay.
After her bad dream, Silver Crescent kept getting into fights.
She had bad dreams about all the ponies.
The more fights she got into, the more bad dreams she had.
And whenever Silver Crescent got into a fight, Mom had to punish her.
She didn't punish Yellow Star, because Yellow Star was the best pony, and she was prettier.
At first, Mom punished Silver Crescent by not talking to her anymore.
Then, Mom made Silver Crescent go without breakfast, and without dinner, and even without lunch!
Finally, Mom made Silver Crescent sleep outside.
And when Silver Crescent tried to come inside, Mom got angry!
When Silver Crescent broke the rules, Mom did punishments where Yellow Star couldn't see.
Probably Silver Crescent deserved it.
But Yellow Star got real lonely.
And she had to make new friends.
Yellow Star liked games, so she made up games that she thought that everyone would like.
That would make everyone friends forever.
The best of all is when she did duck-duck-goose;
she changed the rules to make it better!
[Whispering chantings]
You know Thrakazog, ah' think I am starting to see things from your point of view.
A lot of times, and I know they're adults,
but it seems like that they hand us a fork and a toaster,
and then they redirect us to a power outlet and a bathtub,
and they tell us to learn a life lesson.
Alright baby! Here we go, here we go! Feel free to goose Scootaloo on by the way!
Oh!
I didn't want to admit it, but I am starting to wake up in cold sweats
thanks to some of these life lessons.
It don't help that Luna keeps showing up to try to help either. And what is with that?
I don't notice her doing that to other kids, do y'all?
I thought it was cuz' maybe because we're kin to the Elements of Harmony,
but Scootaloo's not really blood related to any of them.
[deep male voice] Exactly!
Yes, just for once, let's get up and leave before the inevitable happens.
Here she comes! Come on baby!
Oh, she passed me again.
I love this game! The anticipation gives me goosebumps!
HOO!
What if- we stick around and it turns out there's candy at the end?
You know like that time we helped that strange clown guy who lived all by himself in the woods and didn't know where he belongs
in life that turned out good.
Why would that happen? Why would we get candy? Why DO YOU THINK there is a reward?
Here she comes, here she comes!
Oh...
There's always a reward baby, you just got to wait it out.
Like a goose laying on her eggs!
Please, Applebloom, you have to override Scootaloo.
All right, le's go.
We'll probably get roped into Rainbow Dash dealing with her turtle's mortality or something later anyway.
Yellow Star made lots of friends with her new rules and new games.
Everybody wasn't sure at first,
but once they played them, they realized that Yellow Star was the best pony and Silver Crescent was fat.
Everybody except for Silver Crescent who wouldn't even try the games.
Silver Crescent was always angry because, she wasn't a good pony.
She got mad because Yellow Star was never in any of her dreams,
but that was dumb, because Silver Crescent only had bad dreams.
Yellow Star wasn't a bad pony.
Silver Crescent was also angry, because Mom wouldn't let her be in the house anymore.
Yellow Star said that was because Silver Crescent was a bad pony, who ate all the marshmallow cereal.
But Silver Crescent said their mom was a bad pony, who didn't buy enough marshmallow cereal.
Silver Crescent said she can prove that Mom was a bad pony.
Because she had a dream where she had wings,
and she went and she saw their Dad.
And he said that Silver Crescent was a good pony, and that Mom was not being good.
Yellow Star said that was only a dream and all of Silver Crescent's dreams were bad anyway,
so if Silver Crescent got more cereal, she was probably just gonna get fatter.
But Silver Crescent said she could prove it!
Yellow Star said she'd let Silver Crescent prove it if she agreed to play with Yellow Star
like the other ponies.
So Silver Crescent and Yellow Star grew wings and they flew into the sky!
Yellow Star was the best at flying!
They flew up past the Moon, and past the Sun, and past all the stars.
All the way until they got to the place where Silver Crescent dreamed their father was.
And their dad said they were both good ponies; they were the best ponies.
Silver Crescent told on Mommy, and said that Mommy thought Silver Crescent was a bad pony.
Silver crescent complained that Yellow Star said the same thing,
But Yellow Star said that Silver Crescent had pants on fire and she ate all the cereal.
Their Dad said they were both good, and they should both have cereal.
Everyone should think they were good and when the moon was bright
and shiny and the stars were clear, he would come and show everyone that his little girls were the best ponies.
What's all this?
Those things probably didn't happen, so they're crossed out.
Oh, well one of my idiot friends wanted me to proofread her book.
I could do that for you.
I would really rather you didn't do that.
It's okay, I could just show you the errors and you can fix them.
Look, it's - it's fine.
They're scratched out on purpose.
Come on, I just...
Like, for literary purpose because-
No, because I mean it's not a big deal Twilight.
Just just trying to help, okay!
You don't have to get on my ass!
*sigh*
Look alright, If you want to help just keep reading, okay?
Can you, can you do that?
Will yo- can you.. think you can manage that alright?
Alright, If you're touchy, I don't...
"Mother went to sleep."
Okay. See, you devoted this entire page to just one thing-
Twilight...
Just let me finish!
See, the trouble is this breaks immersion, you know.
It's a narrative story, not a poem; so this doesn't really flow very well.
She died.
Is that bad though?
Are you dense?
Well, you make it sound like your mom...
I don't know...
Like she died? Because she died.
No, I mean I get that part, but now that I'm thinking about it,
there's a lot of confusing stuff here.
Like, how did you grow wings?
You'd need insane amounts of power to do that.
Like, what do you think, you'd just "poof, there you go" wings? Princess?
That's totally implausible, I can't even-
But, we completed an ancient spell and sang a friendship song.
Twilight? Who are you arguin' with?
Yellow Star, duh.
Or did you not notice the prettiest, most intelligent pony standing here?
Who?
Hey there Spike!
Nice to meet ya'!
Don't ignore her, say hello!
Do what?
You know Spike, sometimes you can be an oblivious jackass.
Try to be nice, her mom just died!
All right, let me just get my head around this:
I gave you a magic book and neither of us knew what it was,
you've been reading that book since yesterday; not stopping for sleep or meals,
and you can now see a character from that book
stand-in here in your bedroom.
And what's the character want you to do?
Keep reading please!
She wants me to keep reading.
Which sounds good, cuz' it's a good book.
Ok,
I'm gunna' go,
run some errands.
Yellow Star was the smartest pony.
And she figured out that the monster was only pretending to be her dad.
Then she made up a special spell that would send the monster away forever.
But the town had to wanna help Yellow Star.
If they help because the rule said so, then it didn't count.
Lots of ponies blame Yellow Star at first,
but since Yellow Star was best pony, soon everybody realized it was because of Silver Crescent that the monster came to town.
Silver Crescent sold them out for marshmallow cereal!
So y'all are absolutely sure there's not gonna be a horrible demon waiting for us this time?
Or some kind of tentacle thing in the toilet?
Aye, she's not possessed.
She's just being willed to read some book for an unholy purpose.
Damnit!
Spike is such an asshole!
I find a nice little recreational book to read that comes to life and sucks me into it,
and he invites my friends over like I'm not gonna be busy.
You know you'll never get to the end if they take the book away.
Yeah, thanks Captain Obvious.
I cannot convey exactly how insipid some of these conversations with these guys will go.
Rarity will sit there,
and legitimately tell me for hours about the kind of fabric that she uses in her dresses;
as if I know anything about that!
Don't even get me started on Rainbow Dash's sophistry about the meaning of life.
When she decides that there's some kind of grander meaning to the way that I wear my hair on a daily basis,
oh my god!
Well, I know a way we can avoid being separated even if they do take the book.
Okay?
Like that!
So you don't mind if I borrow this, right?
Uh yeah, I guess that's okay.
I'm not gonna be able to do magic without it, but yeah.
Okay, so plan is:
we act all nice like, we grab the book, destroy it real quick, and then get the hell out of there before she gets revenge!
Fluttershy, I'm sorry, you're the slowest.
So you'll probably be the one who gets caught.
No, it's okay. I'm sorry, it's my fault.
I should exercise more, but eating and crying makes me feel better.
Actually,
I've got a plan that won't need magic.
Find the book! Find the book before she snaps and kills us!
If I still had my magic you'd already be dead!
What do you mean, "If you still had your magic?"
I'm happier this way! Just leave me alone!
I found a book! It was just laying there on her bed.
Everybody, run!
I'm sorry! I stayed behind to be killed to buy the others time.
Please do it painlessly!
Who are you even?
Go home!
I cannot believe that work!
Twilight's magic can out-wrestle a grizzly bear with a bullwhip!
I thought the only thing we have going for us was the element of surprise.
Maybe the book drained all her power?
I guess she's not much without her magic.
unlike myself who still practices her poise.
Oh man!
The book that drove Twilight crazy is my autobiography!
I must be a worse author than I thought.
No Dash, this can't be your autobiography.
It's written in some kind of crazy demon tongue.
No, it is.
See on this part, you got to read right to left cuz' I forgot for a little bit,
then you read left to right here.
And all these t's,
Those are supposed to be e's.
Sometimes I get confused.
Oh, and then this is the part where Spike becomes my slave because of the dragon code;
It's like a wookie life-debt, but not nearly as cool.
Oh that's right; not only is she the most powerful
but she's also the smartest.
Do any of you feel more and more impotent the more she realizes her potential.
One day, Pinkie will tame that wild pony, yes!
All the ponies eventually agreed that Yellow Star was right.
They had to do the special spell to make the monster go away,
and then they would punish Silver Crescent.
Silver Crescent was mad, but Yellow Star came up with a clever trick, and Silver Crescent wasn't mad anymore.
The ponies of the town agreed to play a special game with special rules.
Everyone had to do a special dance, and sing a special song, and when the song was done, a large hole opened up.
Ooh!
What? What?
Well Twilight, you failed.
I what?
You walked in the barn, dropped the lantern at the door like a stupid pony,
and then you couldn't finish the book before the fire caught up to you.
What? No, but I'm so close to the end. I can finish the book!
No, you- you pretty well fouled this up here.
No, no, I'm sorry just tell me how it ends!
It's my fault.
I got too excited and bet against the fire.
You're free to go, Twilight.
It was so beautiful.
You found Yellow Star's book.
Tell me, how did Yellow Star appear in your eyes?
She was an adorable little filly too pure for this world,
with a blond mane and flowers in her hair.
An author places some of themselves in a book.
But the reader withdraws something of their own perception as well.
I wondered what I might see in the book.
A child believes a lie because they know no better.
A grown adult sees the lie because it fails to line up with experience.
In this way, a child's story could be so many different experiences.
With enough subtext, a thing made for a child becomes an entirely different world to an adult.
A shame you didn't finish reading.
Oh! uhh, A bird in the hoof is always looks twice before crossing the street!
Quite.
I'll be borrowing Spike for a better re-education about how he should handle locks he can't access without force.
Okay.
Keep an open mind Twilight.
There's no tellin' when subtext will defeat the facade of a thing.
Awsh, I guess she got really angry you tried to take that book.
You know what, I like my boutique,
I think we'll just let Twilight win this one.
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We completed an ancient spell and sang a friendship song, isn't that how shit generally works around here?