WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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You will be turned into rainbows

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everyone will be so happy

00:00:28.720 --> 00:00:30.820
You'll be gone but that's okay, though

00:00:30.820 --> 00:00:31.800
Hey, cheer up

00:00:31.800 --> 00:00:32.920
It's not that crappy

00:00:32.920 --> 00:00:35.000
If you assume it your life goal

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to convert into a rainbow

00:00:36.800 --> 00:00:39.100
you'd dare not be disappointed

00:00:39.100 --> 00:00:41.040
once I stuff you into this hole

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This is where we take your taxes

00:00:51.160 --> 00:00:53.120
where we make the weather wanted

00:00:53.120 --> 00:00:54.120
We're not chemists

00:00:54.120 --> 00:00:55.020
so don't ask us

00:00:55.020 --> 00:00:56.980
how this method got so vaunted

00:00:56.980 --> 00:00:58.980
This job does not need a degree

00:00:59.040 --> 00:01:01.040
that is how they got stuck with me

00:01:01.040 --> 00:01:02.980
I need this for healthcare, you see

00:01:03.020 --> 00:01:05.020
so I can afford therapy

00:01:12.800 --> 00:01:14.520
Meng, there's a good reason,

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but that dont tell them nothing

00:01:15.880 --> 00:01:16.400
What do you mean

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I need the friggin' health benefits

00:01:18.040 --> 00:01:18.540
thats it?

00:01:18.540 --> 00:01:19.680
what about the history?

00:01:19.740 --> 00:01:22.840
The history is that I'm not going back to eleven twenty-five an hour

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and I eat too much fast food,and it's really hard to pay my bills...

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Okay, I'll admit that they usually say you should do it for the love of the job and not the money

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but the economy is really rough right now and this is the best I could get

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you know what

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forget you

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im gonna explain it Locino style

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listen up kids

00:01:41.240 --> 00:01:41.740
lets go back

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to 1,000 years ago

00:01:42.880 --> 00:01:44.040
where everything you know

00:01:44.040 --> 00:01:45.060
was owned by Celestia

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the tiny blade of grass

00:01:46.180 --> 00:01:47.140
that fed on the sun

00:01:47.140 --> 00:01:47.920
the tiny grasshopper

00:01:47.920 --> 00:01:48.620
that fed on the grass

00:01:49.040 --> 00:01:49.540
the snake in the grass

00:01:49.540 --> 00:01:50.380
that fed on the grasshopper

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And the holy evil government

00:01:51.880 --> 00:01:52.680
was owned by Celestia

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All things trod beneath an iron hoof

00:01:55.080 --> 00:01:56.320
United, provided, divided

00:01:56.320 --> 00:01:56.820
by Celestia

00:01:56.820 --> 00:01:58.920
All hailed humbly to the mighty god

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Until one day

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Then

00:02:00.340 --> 00:02:01.700
came

00:02:01.700 --> 00:02:02.520
the war

00:02:04.980 --> 00:02:06.980
Nightmare Moon 
swept from the sky

00:02:07.000 --> 00:02:09.000
lasers from her eyes
and teeth like knives

00:02:09.000 --> 00:02:10.280
The power of our god

00:02:10.280 --> 00:02:11.269
was simply not enough

00:02:11.269 --> 00:02:12.400
to overcome...her sister

00:02:12.400 --> 00:02:14.220
The one had sacrificed

00:02:14.220 --> 00:02:14.920
a piece of her mind

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to the dark gods

00:02:16.280 --> 00:02:17.040
for deeds unkind

00:02:17.040 --> 00:02:18.840
Hope seemed lost
until the time

00:02:18.880 --> 00:02:21.960
that Celestia...developed...a plan.

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Pitch one power

00:02:26.040 --> 00:02:26.640
to retain the rest

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Sacrifice in turn

00:02:27.760 --> 00:02:29.000
was the gist

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With so many

00:02:30.320 --> 00:02:30.960
what was one

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This foul war

00:02:31.800 --> 00:02:33.000
must be done

00:02:33.000 --> 00:02:33.860
It must be something

00:02:33.860 --> 00:02:34.800
she could do without

00:02:34.800 --> 00:02:36.100
A superfluous power

00:02:36.100 --> 00:02:36.760
she could leave out

00:02:36.760 --> 00:02:37.900
She purveyed them all

00:02:37.900 --> 00:02:38.800
and made her decision

00:02:38.800 --> 00:02:39.860
She rested her choice

00:02:39.860 --> 00:02:40.900
her prismatic precision

00:02:40.900 --> 00:02:42.460
No more rainbows
was her decree

00:02:42.460 --> 00:02:44.920
Equestria's ponies
would pay this fee

00:02:44.920 --> 00:02:46.580
But petty politics
sought another route

00:02:46.580 --> 00:02:48.840
The electorate
could not do without

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So the duty fell to the pegasi

00:02:50.700 --> 00:02:52.940
And when they found the solution,
they began to cry

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Ohhh NOOOO

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We can't procure pigments
without grinding our youth

00:02:58.820 --> 00:03:00.740
into a fine mist of color,
and that is the truth

00:03:00.780 --> 00:03:03.080
But our pleas for reprieve
fell upon deaf ears

00:03:03.080 --> 00:03:04.860
And the exit polls
showed our greatest fears

00:03:04.860 --> 00:03:06.680
We must make rainbows
there wasn't a choice

00:03:06.740 --> 00:03:09.080
The boneheads and mud ponies
smothered our voice

00:03:13.360 --> 00:03:13.860
And so

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We built

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A machiiiiine