WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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(upbeat music)

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- I bench like 225.

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- I can do 100 push-ups.

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- Ah, I just tweaked my arm.

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That's why I can't work out this week.

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- Yeah, I rolled my ankle.

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And that's why I can't play basketball.

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- Oh, I could dunk in high school.

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- Yeah, I can do a kickflip.

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- Yeah, I prefer beer over sugary drinks.

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- My shoe size is like,

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14.

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- Oh, I've never used a
ruler to measure my penis.

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- My car is 500 horsepower.

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- Yeah, I know what horsepower is.

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- Nah,

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don't really listen to Drake.

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- Nah, I've never heard
anything by Justin Bieber.

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- I've shot a gun before.

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- I've never seen The Notebook.

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- Gilmore Girls is coming back?

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No idea.

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- Dude, Channing Tatum
isn't even that hot.

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- I know how to start a fire.

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- Nah, dude, I'm not
looking for a relationship.

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- I'm texting so many girls right now.

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- No, I don't care my ex just got married.

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- I get laid all the time.

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- Dude, I hook up all the time.

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- No, I don't follow
Ayesha Curry on Instagram.

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- I'm always the big spoon.

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- I hate cuddling.

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- I always stand when I pee.

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(upbeat music)