WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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- Tim is the worst.

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The other day he like
saw me eating my apple

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and he was like, "Oh, you
don't cut your apple first?"

00:00:06.235 --> 00:00:08.464
- "Oh, I'm Tim, I don't
do any of my own work

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"because I'm a jerk."

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- Yeah, the other day
he asked me to like...

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- [Voiceover] Oh God, I shouldn't have

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made fun of Tim like that.

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What if someone in the
coffee shop heard me

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and is friends with him?

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What if I get fired because he finds out

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what I said?

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He's probably a good guy
once you get to know him.

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I bet he just has a tough time at work.

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- Here's your change, $2.00.

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Have a good day.

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- Awesome, thank you.

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Have a good one.

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- [Voiceover] They gave
me the wrong change?

00:00:31.824 --> 00:00:33.093
Should I take it?

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What if I get arrested

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and imprisoned for life?

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All because I decided
to take an extra dollar

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from this gentle mom-and-pop shop?

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- No, no.

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You know what, no.

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I'm sorry.

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You gave me three
dollars, not two dollars.

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And I was going to take it.

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I was gonna (bleep) take it.

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Here, take this.

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Take it.

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You know what?

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Actually, no.

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You deserve all of my money.

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I'm a terrible person.

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I'm so sorry.

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- [Voiceover] Oh my God.

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I can't believe I did that.

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She's gonna hate me for that.

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Oh God.

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- I am so sorry.

00:01:05.221 --> 00:01:06.597
I don't even know.

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I'm so sorry.

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So so sorry.

00:01:20.741 --> 00:01:22.384
- [Voiceover] Oh God,
everyone knows it was me

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who spilled the milk.

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Look at them staring at me.

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- I spilled the milk.

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I did it.

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- How are you today?

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- I'm good, Stephen, how are you?

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- Oh, it's pronounced Ste-phan.

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- Oh my God.

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I'm so sorry.

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Oh that must happen to you all the time

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and I'm adding to that.

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I'm really, truly sorry.

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I'm really sorry about earlier Stephan.

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Got it right that time. Ha!

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I'm really sorry.

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- Hey, Stephan,

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we are closing.

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Why haven't you started cleaning up yet?

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- Oh, this woman dropped some straws

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and she offered to clean the whole place.

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- Hey!

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Sorry again, yeah.

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- Oh.

00:02:03.056 --> 00:02:04.656
Cool.

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(jazz music)

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- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

00:02:21.115 --> 00:02:22.115
Sorry sink.

