- I remember in fourth grade,
everyone had to bring in a box of tissues.
I have a strong memory of that.
I don't remember learning too much,
but I remember I had to bring in my box of tissues.
(funk music)
- [Voiceover] Explain photosynthesis.
- (sighs) I know what this is,
I think it's like when a flower...
(laughs)
- This is when the sun is shining
on flowers and things
and there's rain and (laughing) this is how things grow.
- Plants receive light from the sun
and they like, stay alive.
- The plant takes in water and sunlight
through the cell wall and converts it to energy.
(bell dings)
- [Voiceover] What are the three branches of government?
- God, I should know this.
I'm an adult. Dammit.
- Judicial, legislative, Obama.
- I've been watching a lot of House of Cards
but that's not helping.
- There's the executive branch, which is the president,
the judicial branch, which is the Supreme Court,
and then there is the legislative branch,
which is the Senate and Congress.
(bell dings)
- [Voiceover] The American Civil War, when was it?
- (laughing) I do not know.
- Was that before World War I and II or after?
- I don't think it was that early.
- 1960s? No, no, no.
Maybe it was before.
1930s?
- Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1492.
He's a huge asshole, Columbus.
- The American Civil War was between 1861 and 1865.
(bell dings)
- [Voiceover] What is 23 divided by four in mixed numerals?
- So, that means...
- This is like, how many vodka sodas I can have in one night
divided by the number of hours it probably takes
for me to metabolize.
(muttering)
- I feel like I've completely forgotten how to divide things
but multiplication's still there, so...
- Four, eight, 16, 20,
and then if it were 24, it'd be five, obviously.
Yeah. No. Six, it'd be six.
- 20, wait, yeah.
Right. What?
Is that right?
- Is this the mixed numerals?
- It's four and 3/4, right?
No, wait, that's not right.
- Brunch is $23, divided by four people.
- You finally stumped me with this simple division
that a fourth grader would definitely know.
- Yeah, it's like five bucks, $5.10 each, I think.
- That's the answer key.
Boobless.
- Also, just for like, kids watching,
college is way easier than the fourth grade.
Like, way easier.
You like, talk about your opinion and then you leave.