WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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- So I came in here because they told me

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this is a gourmet bacon taste test.

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If you're (bleep)ing with me,
I'm gonna be really upset.

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(bouncing music)

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- Everyone loves bacon.

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It's like asking people if
they love, you know, oxygen.

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Of course they do. You have to.

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- I feel like I'm being ask to
explain why I like chocolate.

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'Cause it's delicious.

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- Anything with grease
and fat is gonna be good.

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- It's good with eggs,
it's good on a sandwich,

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it's good with chicken.

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- I could live without having bacon,

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but it wouldn't be very much fun.

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- I never even thought
about a world without bacon.

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- Of course I'm excited to have bacon!

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We're having bacon in the
morning! What a Tuesday!

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- Oh, my God!

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- Oh, my gosh, it's a piglet!

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- Oh, no! Oh, no.

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- Oh, God. Okay. Now I'm never
gonna have bacon ever again.

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- It's a tiny little
pig. It's a little pig.

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(piglets squeals)

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- I mean, he does look
delicious, let's be honest.

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- No, watcha doin' now, where ya goin'?

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Oh, he's shy! He's a little camera shy!

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- I had bacon a few days ago.

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Oh, I don't wanna say it too loud.

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- What're you thinkin' about?

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(piglet squeaks)

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- Are my beliefs that fragile that

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one little cute thing in my arm

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is gonna just change everything I know?

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Kinda, yeah.

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- Bacon or steak, we look at those things

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as pieces of meat on our plate and not

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something that wants to
snuggle in your arms.

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- How can you wanna eat this little guy?

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Look how cute he is!

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Look at that face! Look at that face!

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- He pooped on me, I take
it back. Eat all the pigs.

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I'm just kidding, it's cool.

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I gotta say, of all the
animals that pooped on me,

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that was probably the most pleasant.

