WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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GM once designed a car

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that went 400 miles on a single strip of bacon

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that car was never released

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because it's a waste of bacon

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celery once challenged bacon to a duel

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that's why celery has no flavor.

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the song brown eyed girl was about bacon

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it's just a complicated metaphor, numbnuts!

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bacon was invented by... bacon

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I just blew your f***** mind! 

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That liquid that surrounds beacon in the skillet 

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That's not grease, that's just the skillet crying tears of joy.

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every word you say has a silent bacon in it

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You fart blaster

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bacon doesn't clog your arteries, just reinforces them. 

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they used to play rocks, paper, scissors, bacon. But they took out bacon, because bacon always wins

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The average american eats one hundred pieces of bacon a year

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that includes vegetarians and babies.

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that means even the average vegetarian baby eats one hundred pieces of bacon a year

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that's science, bitch.

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the only reason to put bacon in a salad is 

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to remind all of the vegetables that they suck

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The higgs boson gets its flavor by passing through a field of bacon.

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you freak nerd.

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in crisis situations, bacon has been known to fry itself.

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just because it can, Dickweed

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the number one cause of divorce is something about bacon.

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bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon bacon, bacon

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bacon

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you bong nugget.

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you little turd temple

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you sack dingle.

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You dirty nipple bag