WEBVTT
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Language: en

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- I really didn't have a good
reason to join Greek life,

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I kinda just stumbled into it.

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(light playful melody)

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- I had a lot of trouble making friends

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my first few months at school.

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- Growing up, a did a lot of theater

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and I didn't really have
a lot of guy friends.

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- I didn't come out until
my junior year actually.

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- So I've been out for a really long time.

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- I actually wasn't even out

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until after I graduated college.

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In college, I wasn't sure.

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I had feelings, but thought
maybe it was just a phase.

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- Yeah, I was hesitant about rushing

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because there's a
stereotype of fraternity's

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being hypermasculine,
hyperstraight organizations

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and as a freshman in college,

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I wanted to explore
what it meant to be gay.

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- Was I worried that my sexual orientation

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would prohibit me from joining,

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or would hinder the process?

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Yes.

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- First day that I rushed,
I went to a fraternity

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and one of the questions
they asked me was,

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"If you could have sex with
any male cartoon character,

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who would it be?"

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And I was just like, really?

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Is that what you're trying
to get to know about me?

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- At a certain point I
told my pledge educator

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that I was gay and he was
like, "Oh yeah, we know."

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I was like, does everyone know?

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and they're like, "Yeah,
we know and we don't care."

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- I had built a strong foundation
with my pledge brothers

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and so, to tell them that I was gay

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was just sharing them again,

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a little bit more about who I was.

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What I thought was most surprising,

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they were incredible curious

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about what it was to be gay.

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- Spoiler alert, nothing changed.

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The conversation was super easy

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and they were really, really accepting,

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but I definitely had reservations

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that they would feel weird that

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all of a sudden, now that I'm gay,

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that I'm gonna try and hook up

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with every single one of them,

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which is such a ridiculous fear

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that gets put in your head.

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- This guy wanted to bring his boyfriend

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to Weekend Away Formal

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and some people were
uncomfortable with that.

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That kinda just rubbed me the wrong way

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because it was encouraged for these guys

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to find a random girl.

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By the time I graduated,

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there was a couple guys that would

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bring their boyfriends
to formals and stuff.

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That was cool to see because

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it didn't have to be a big deal anymore.

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- When I joined my fraternity,

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I didn't know that there
were other LGBT brothers.

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Well, after I became a
full fledged brother,

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I was connected with gay and
bisexual and queer brothers

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from other chapters and we stay connected

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via social media outlets.

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- Being around a bunch of
straight guys in a fraternity

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kind of gave me the confidence

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that they don't think
that I'm coming onto them

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just because I'm gay.

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So that kind of helped me become more

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comfortable with my sexuality.

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- When you get to the core of who you are,

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people are gonna like
you, or not like you,

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for much more than just your sexuality.

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- Once I was a senior and
I was out and everything,

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I had a couple of them actually
come up to me, one on one

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and say, "Hey, I'm
actually kinda dealing with

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"coming to terms with
my sexuality right now

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"and how have you dealt with coming out?

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"Especially in a fraternity?"

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That was kinda cool 'cause

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I didn't feel like I had that.

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- My fraternity brothers
are some of my best friends.

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I used up most of my vacation days

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spending it with them.

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- They're the ones who bring
up political issues to me

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and are outraged about it,

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sometimes more than I am
about certain LGBT issues.

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- It gave me a lot of life lessons.

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It gave me really good
opportunities to be a leader.

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- As an undergrad, you're
sort of entering this

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life where you're trying
to figure out who you are,

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where you fit in with a lot of things,

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and I think for a lot of LGBT folks,

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especially those who start
rushing fraternities,

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it's a challenging time and so,

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I think being comfortable about being gay

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is something that you have to discover

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and figure out on your own.

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- At the end of the day,

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definitely look out for
yourself and protect yourself,

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and there are probably some organizations

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that are more accepting.

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I wouldn't have so many
of the friends that I have

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and I wouldn't have had so
many experiences that I had,

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had I not joined a Greek organization.

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And if I had let fear
of my sexuality stop me,

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I would be such a different person.

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(light playful conclusion)