- Hide your daughters.
Lock up your wives.
The lesbians are coming to your town.
(dramatic music)
I'm Dr. Martin, and I'm here to tell you
about the dangers of homosexuality.
See these girls here?
They look harmless enough.
But what you can't see is they're all lesbians.
Lesbians are seductresses who will sleep
with other women by choice.
I only sleep with my wife because I have to.
They are dangerous creatures.
Don't believe me?
Take Mary here.
Mary is a senior at Lincoln High School.
Top of her class, editor of the year book,
and the best darn softball player
Lincoln High has ever seen.
She teaches bible study after school
and has never had a boyfriend
because she's saving herself for the perfect man.
The ideal daughter that would make any father proud.
Today there is a new girl in school, Jenny.
Out of the kindness of her heart, Mary will befriend Jenny.
But what Mary doesn't know is Jenny is a lesbian.
(dramatic music)
- You must be the new girl.
- Yeah, I'm Jenny.
- It's so very nice to meet you.
What are some things you do for fun, Jenny?
- Play music.
- Music? Golly I love music, what kind?
- Like Indie Rock, kinda like Tegan and Sara, Jenny Lewis.
- Are those hip friends of yours?
- No, they're just other musicians.
- Oh my, never heard of women playing rock music before.
I'd sure love to come hear you play some time.
- Sure, yeah.
- And just like that, the lesbian has managed
to slither into Mary's life.
Mary found herself researching rock music.
Which has always been prohibited by her parents,
and she would begin to act out.
- But Mother in The Honeymooners when Ralph threatens Alice
by saying, "To the moon", that's domestic violence,
and no woman should stand for that.
- [Voiceover] Mary was heading down a dark hole,
and things were only getting worse.
- I really just wanna be a writer after high school,
but my father says I should just go to nursing school
until I find a husband to support me.
- Fuck that. Do what you want.
- You can't use language like that. It's so raunchy.
- I'm just saying, live your life, carpe diem, YOLO.
- [Voiceover] The lesbian will continue to seduce
your daughter with words of encouragement,
and by treating them with respect.
- Wow.
- Sorry, I don't know what came over me.
You really razz my berries, Jennifer.
- Alright.
- Once she gives into the temptation, there is no going back
as lesbians are very attentive lovers who will commit
to women for long periods of time.
Lesbians live in a world of chaos and debauchery,
and while Mary should be out at her school's football game
supporting her team, instead she is in for the night
making deep connections with Jenny and bonding
over common interests, like a sick human being.
It's quite a shame to see how quickly our young Mary
was turned into a homosexual.
- No, I was definitely gay the whole time.
- [Voiceover] Yes that's was the lesbians are forcing you
to say because you're still under their spell.
- You can't turn someone gay.
- Yeah, there been actual studies that people are born--
- I am no longer listening to either of you,
and neither should you.
Beware the lesbians.
(dramatic music)
So...
what are you doing after this?
- It's here, it's here!
- [All] It's here, it's here!
- Get it, get it!
- There, there!
- I think they got it. Get it!
- Yeah, you get it.
- It's here.